The Defenestration of Ataulfo and His Moustache, and Their
Punishment For the High Crime of Poaching Television Sets in
Windows Out of Season, a High Crime That Got Them
Defenestrated. For Defenestration Was the Punishment of Choice
From the Grand Judge of the Somewhat Impressive Kingdom of
Polyurethane, As in His Eyes Defenestration of Ataulfo and His
Moustache Was Quite Sufficient of a Punishment. Many Citizens of the
Somewhat Impressive Kingdom of Polyurethane Disagreed With This
Punishment However, as Experts Agreed That There Was a Severe
Overpopulation of Televisions in Windows and if Anything They Were Actually
Doing Somewhat of a Civic Duty, Yet at the Other End of the Political Spectrum
There Was the Undeniable Logic That Their Actions Were Still Illegal, and
Defenestration Was The Recommended Punishment. But Come on, Even the King Thinks
That It Was too Harsh, and as a Result of These Events He and His Advisors Have Been Concocting a
New Criminal Justice System for the Somewhat Impressive Kingdom of Polyurethane out of Gypsum.
Gypsum Seems Like a Rather Arbitrary Choice, Given its Application in Houses as Walls, but by Building the
System Out of Walls the System Will Never Fail Because It Actually Has Something to Hold the Ceiling up Now.
With Walls to Support the System, Failure was Impossible Unless a Truck Accidentally Drove Into the Walls and Made the
Building Collapse. Then All Hell Would Surely Break Loose in the Country, and We Cannot Allow That Which Brings Me to My Next Point
That the Walls Should Be Surrounded by the Landmines of Secret Police SHUT
UP FOO’
~A Zero-Act Play by MasterOFDeath~
(With contributions by SoccerGhoul and ianpaulfreely27)
THE CAST
-Ataulfo – Main Character, an everyday businessman. Not to be confused with his shadow,
Alphalpha Bits.
-The Judge – Grand Judge of the Kingdom. He is a comb, but secretly wants to be a brush.
-DOCUMENTS – Ataulfo’s desk and loyal compainion. His size varies depending on if he visited
the wood chipper that morning, but he is made out of oak.
-The King – The King of the Kingdom. He rules over the Kingdom. He looks like a King.
-Sir Sircular Reasoning – The villain. Spends most of his time preaching about how circular
reasoning works because circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works because
circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works because SHUT UP FOO’
-Alphalpha Bits – Ataulfo’s shadow. Occasionally develops a mind of his own and acts
independently. He looks like a shadow.
-the Script – the script to the play. Appears once in a while to correct the actors when they
make a mistake. Looks like a Xeroxed document.
-Shakespeare – The other villain, opposes the script because he doesn’t like his acting. Looks
like himself.
THE PLAY
Copydown November 2008 by Door.