Personal Response criteria with example

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IB English B
Personal Response exercise
Paper 2
Here's what the Subject Guide has to say about the nature of the Personal Response
task :
The student writes a reasoned argument in the form of a response to a stimulus text
dealing with a topic linked to the core. The text could be a news report or a comment
by a public figure. The response should engage with details of the text in order to
develop some coherent discussion of the topic area, which is informed by what has
been learned during the study of the core. There is no prescribed answer—what is
assessed is the student’s ability to express his or her reflection on, or personal response
to, the stimulus.
Language B Subject Guide p.41
But what exactly is expected here - and how would such expectations influence the
interpretation of the marking Criteria ?
The student should ...
"engage with details of the text" - pick out specific words or phrases (and so,
presumably, the ideas that they express) as the starting point for elements of the
'reasoned argument'
"develop some coherent discussion..." - extend from the specific words or
phrases by questioning, arguing, debating what they mean ... in a 'coherent' way:
i.e. organised and logically linked
"... informed by what has been learned" - make use of ideas, concepts and
arguments which have been thought out during the teaching of the course
(although this does not imply lots of tedious facts or second-hand, politically
correct opinions to please the examiner !)
It should be noted that the extract from the Subject Guide specifically instructs that
"The student writes a reasoned argument ..." This must suggest that students are being
asked to explain what they think about the stimulus text + topic, not what they feel
about the subject matter in general. If students express strong feelings through their
comments and arguments, fine - but simply emoting about the general subject will
presumably lose marks under Criterion B.
Applying the Criteria
Criterion A Language
'command of the language'
> To what extent do errors in grammar or usage blur the meaning?
> Overall, does the choice of phrasing communicate meaning effectively and easily?
Or not?
'range of vocabulary'
> Is there evidence of relatively uncommon vocabulary, appropriate to the subject of
the stimulus text (e.g. technical vocabulary)?
> Is there helpful use of vocabulary appropriate to the discussion of ideas (e.g. 'issue',
'illogical', 'contradiction' etc)
'sentence structure'
> How many sentences are 'simple' or 'complex' - and how well are they handled?
> If there are only simple sentences, do these communicate meaning effectively
enough? (NB Having 'complex' sentences is not necessarily a virtue - in a wordlimited task like this, using only concise, simple sentences may be a perfectly valid choice
of style and approach.)
Criterion B Message
'development of ideas'
> How many aspects of the stimulus text has the student picked out?
> How many steps of argument are there, linking one point to another?
> How 'clear' are these steps - i.e. can one follow how they are connected?
(NB In my view, these three questions need to be considered together. For example,
simply picking out several aspects and mentioning them superficially should not be valued
as highly as picking out only one aspect, but then treating it in detail, with extended
argument clearly explained.)
'structure of the argument' / 'coherent'
> What evidence is there of 'cohesive devices' - i.e. paragraphing and linkers ?
> How well do such cohesive devices support and make clear the structure of the
argument?
'relevant'
> To what extent does the student refer directly to phrasing or ideas from the stimulus
text?
'well expressed' / 'engaging'
> To what extent can these ideal qualities be detected - even in weak or sporadic
ways?
(NB In my view, 'well expressed' should be taken to mean something like 'well-conceived'
- i.e. thoughtful or perceptive. It should not be restricted to choice of phrasing or
vocabulary, since this is principally marked under Criterion A Language.)
http://www.englishb-inthinking.co.uk/personal-response/evaluating-the-pr.htm
IB English B
Personal Response exercise
Paper 2
HL Paper 2, Section B: example stimulus
The most serious problem facing the world today is unemployment, and in
particular the issue of youth unemployment. There is a danger that an entire
generation of young people, in all kinds of society, will grow up feeling that
they have no real future. This could be profoundly damaging for the relationships
on which social life depends.
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