Perfectionistic Children and Adolescents:
Implications for School Counselors (abridged)
By: Terry Kottman, Ph.D. and Jeffrey Ashby, Ph.D.
From: Professional School Counseling, 3:3, February 2000
Exercises: J. Geffen
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1.
Perfectionistic children and adolescents are easy to recognize. Teachers and
parents describe these children and adolescents as having incredibly neat desks,
giving up recess to finish some assignment or project, complaining any time they have
a collaborative group assignment, starting an art project seven times to get it “just
right,” being disappointed when they do not get perfect papers in school, and so forth
(Thompson & Rudolph, 2000).
2.
Traditionally, school personnel and family members have expressed concern
about perfectionistic students, based on the assumption that perfectionism is a onedimensional, negative personality trait that should be eradicated. While some of the
behaviors manifested in the quest for perfection can be self-defeating, many
perfectionistic behaviors (like having a neat desk, turning in neat work, caring about
school work, being dedicated and focused) are actually academically and socially
adaptive. The authors believe that it is essential to the well-being and happiness of
these children and adolescents that teachers, counselors, and parents learn to
recognize and acknowledge the positive components of perfectionism. It is also
important to learn to intervene with these students in ways that do not undermine the
productive or helpful aspects of perfectionism (i.e., high standards and the need for
order), but that do address the problematic aspects of perfectionism (i.e., anxiety,
extreme self- criticism, and extreme criticism of others).
3.
In this article, the authors (a) describe the current research findings related to
perfectionism in adults, (b) summarize the recent literature regarding perfectionism in
children and adolescents, and (c) describe adaptive and maladaptive traits of
perfectionism as manifested in children and adolescents. The authors also make
suggestions for intervention strategies for helping children and adolescents learn to
capitalize on the adaptive aspects of perfectionism and remediate the maladaptive
aspects of perfectionism.
Recent Research on Perfectionism
Perfectionism in Adults
4. Historically, mental health professionals working with adults have conceptualized
perfectionism as a unidimensional and negative or maladaptive character trait (e.g.,
Blatt, 1995; Burns, 1980; Hollender, 1965). In thinking about clients who described
themselves or were described by others as perfectionistic, counselors have usually
assumed that perfectionism was at least part (and maybe the bulk) of the problem.
Because of this negative, unidimensional perception, most interventions with clients
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who “admitted” being perfectionistic have traditionally revolved around “curing” the
client of his or her perfectionism (Burns, 1980). Research based on this way of
viewing perfectionism (Blatt, 1995; Flett, Hewitt, Blankstein, & O’Brien, 1991;
Hewitt & Flett, 1990) has supported the premise that perfectionism has a negative
impact on perfectionists. This approach seems to ignore the possibility that “being a
perfectionist could well be a good thing if it means having high standards, for high
standards ultimately lead to high achievement” (Winner, 1996, p. 215).
5.
Several recent empirical investigations into perfectionism in adults have lent
credence to this more positive interpretation of perfectionism. This research has
supported the concept of a multidimensional model which allows for the idea that
some aspects of perfectionism can prove to be helpful, rather than harmful, to clients.
6.
Slaney, Mobley, Trippi, Ashby, and Johnson (1996) developed a measure
designed to assess both the positive and negative aspects of perfectionism. They
contended that, while experiencing extreme distress when one’s performance did not
match one’s standards might be destructive and unhealthy, the holding of high
personal standards and a desire for order were not necessarily negative. The results
from a study by Rice, Ashby, and Slaney (1997) supported the distinction between
adaptive and maladaptive dimensions of perfectionism. The authors of this study
found that one cluster of perfectionism dimensions (including high personal standards
and orderliness) were related to higher self-esteem and lower levels of depression.
However, a second cluster of perfectionism dimensions (including concern over
mistakes and self-criticism) were related to increased depression and decreased selfesteem. Using this instrument, several authors have found differences between
adaptive and maladaptive perfectionists on levels of inferiority (Ashby & Kottman,
1996); levels of career decision-making self-efficacy (Ashby, Bieschke, & Slaney,
1997); levels of general self-efficacy and social self-efficacy (Ashby, LoCicero,
Kottman, Schoen, & Honsell, 1998); and levels of locus of control by powerful others
(Periassamy, Ashby, & LoCicero, 1999).
Perfectionism in Children and Adolescents
7.
There has been little empirical research in the psychological literature exploring
perfectionism in children and adolescents. Many of the articles in this area have
focused on perfectionism as a difficulty for gifted children (Kline & Short, 1991,
1991b; LoCicero, Ashby, & Periasamy, in press; Parker, 1997; Roberts & Lovett,
1994) or for children with problems such as eating and mood disorders (Steiger,
Leung, Puentes-Newman, & Gottheil, 1992), negative cognitive beliefs (Robins &
Hinkley, 1989), and depression (Leon, Kendall, & Garber, 1980).
8.
In most of the quantitative studies conducted with gifted subjects, the
researchers used a negative, unidimensional definition of perfectionism (e.g., Kline &
Short, 1991a, 1991b). With this definition of perfectionism, Kline and Short (1991b)
found that gifted girls in grades 9 through 12 reported having significantly higher
perfectionism than peers who were less gifted but found no difference on
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perfectionism between gifted adolescent boys and peers who were less gifted (Kline
& Short, 1991a). Using Hewitt and Flett’s (1991) multidimensional model of
perfectionism, Roberts and Lovett (1994) reported that gifted children demonstrated
higher levels of self-oriented perfectionism relative to their nongifted peers.
Measuring with Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale, Parker (1997) found that the
majority of gifted children in his sample were likely to fit into the healthy
perfectionistic type (41.7%), with 25.5% falling into the dysfunctional perfectionistic
type and 32.8% falling into the nonperfectionistic type. In a study by LoCicero et al.
(in press), the researchers used the Almost Perfect Scale to discover that gifted middle
school children had higher levels of adaptive perfectionism but lower levels of
maladaptive perfectionism than a comparison group of nongifted students.
9.
In other empirical studies of perfectionism in children and adolescents, the
researchers used a unidimensional, negative characterization of perfectionistic
behavior and found that children and adolescents with higher levels of pathology tend
to fit this description of perfectionism. Steiger et al. (1992) examined perfectionism as
one aspect of the psycho-social profile of adolescent girls with eating and mood
disorders and found that girls who manifest eating and mood symptoms have elevated
levels of perfectionism as compared with girls who do not manifest these symptoms.
Robins and Hinkley (1989) and Leon et al. (1980) found that depression in children
and adolescents was related to high levels of perfectionism. None of these researchers
used an instrument based on a multidimensional model, which may have predetermined their confirmation that perfectionism tends to be maladaptive.
10. Empirical studies using a multidimensional measure of perfectionists are rare.
LoCicero et al. (in press) provided support for making a distinction among adaptive
perfectionists, maladaptive perfectionists, and nonperfectionists at the middle school
level in the area of basic lifestyle approaches. They found that adaptive perfectionists
had significantly lower propensity toward being willing to shape their behavior to fit
perceived social-environmental cues than maladaptive perfectionists and nonperfectionists. They also found that adaptive perfectionists were likely to manifest
significantly a higher developed sense of belonging and the desire to cooperate, level
of comfort with receiving recognition and/or praise for their accomplishments, and a
need to strive to do things well than nonperfectionists.
Adaptive and Maladaptive Perfectionism
11. In order to help teachers, students, and parents recognize these two distinct
“faces” of perfectionism, school counselors must consider how children and
adolescents can express the adaptive and the maladaptive characteristics of
perfectionism in the school setting. The differences between adaptive and maladaptive
perfectionists are typified by the ways they handle their high standards and need for
order. Adaptive perfectionists use these traits constructively, as a spur to better
performance. They are not overly anxious about their high standards and do not feel
discouraged when they do not attain their goals – they simply vow to work harder and
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smarter. Maladaptive perfectionists, on the other hand, are extremely anxious about
meeting their own elevated expectations and routinely feel discouraged when they are
not perfect.
12. The school counselor must also remember that both of these dimensions occur
on a continuum from mild to severe. Even the potentially adaptive behaviors can
become negative when taken to extremes. Conversely, the potentially maladaptive
behaviors such as concern over mistakes and self-criticism can be helpful to children
when they are manifested in moderation and used constructively.
Adaptive Manifestations
13. In schools, children and adolescents can manifest high standards and a need for
order in several different adaptive ways. Adaptively perfectionistic students will
usually express high personal standards in academic, athletic, and interpersonal
endeavors. They will expect themselves to perform to the best of their ability and may
express concern or disappointment when they do not feel that they have fulfilled their
personal goals. Perfectionistic students quite frequently also have high expectations
for others – counting on their peers and their teachers to live up to the standards that
they set for them. As long as high personal standards do not become unreasonable or
unrealistic, and setbacks or failures to meet standards do not result in extremely harsh
self-criticism, these factors will not cause a problem for students; they will simply
provide strong motivation.
14. The same is true of the other positive attribute in the adaptive cluster of
perfectionistic traits – need for order. Adaptively perfectionistic students will manifest
this behavior by turning in neat and well-organized assignments, maintaining tidy
work areas and lockers, and suggesting that other students and teachers work to make
classrooms and other areas in the school building organized and orderly places to be.
Organization of materials, strong study habits, clearly defined schedules, and so forth
will be important to students who manifest a high need for order. They will expect
others to value structure and organization as well. Again, it is important to monitor the
intensity and pervasiveness of perfectionistic students’ need for order so that it does
not interfere with their healthy functioning, but rather serves as a positive force in
their lives.
Maladaptive Manifestations
15. In schools, extreme concern over mistakes and self-criticism can be debilitating
to students. Concern over mistakes can prevent students from trying to successfully
complete written assignments. Rather than risk a less than perfect paper, maladaptively perfectionistic students simply may not do their work. They might rather
have a zero in the grade book than have a chance of any score less than 100%.
Because these students are unwilling to make mistakes, they frequently refuse to
participate in class discussions, based on their fear that they could volunteer an
incorrect answer and be embarrassed. When maladjusted perfectionists turn in assignments and participate in class discussion with less than perfect results, they may react
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with feelings of extreme sadness, disappointment, and/or anger at themselves, at their
peers, or at teachers. These students have exaggerated reactions to mistakes. One or
two errors seem like a complete failure to them. They tend to demonstrate an all-ornothing attitude toward the accuracy of their school work and their participation in
class discussions, sports, and other extracurricular experiences.
16. Sometimes these children and adolescents blame others for any self-perceived
mistake or failure, suggesting that it is someone else’s fault that their performance did
not live up to their standards. Usually, however, maladaptive perfectionists are
extremely self-critical. They have a tendency to focus exclusively on their negative
qualities and on anything that they perceive to be less than perfect about themselves
(e.g., their performance at school, athletic functions, and/or extracurricular activities;
their appearance; their social interactions; and so forth). Because they are so difficult
to satisfy and so quick to criticize themselves, students manifesting maladaptively
perfectionistic traits may fall prey to such maladies as eating disorders, depression,
and suicidal ideation.
Intervention Suggestions for School Counselors
17. School counselors can provide assistance to perfectionistic children and
adolescents through two distinct functions – consulting and counseling. In consulting
with parents and teachers, counselors can use psychoeducational strategies for
providing information to optimize interactions with perfectionistic students. In
counseling, counselors can help perfectionistic children and adolescents learn to
capitalize on adaptive tendencies involved in perfectionism and to more effectively
cope with maladaptive tendencies.
Consultation with Parents and Teachers
18. In the consultation mode, school counselors will want to educate adults who
come into contact with children about the multidimensional aspects of perfectionism.
They can also make suggestions to parents and teachers for methods of reinforcing the
positive aspects of perfectionism and addressing the negative aspects of
perfectionism.
19. The first avenue of consulting with parents and teachers should involve
disseminating information dispelling the myth of the unidimensional nature of
perfectionism and educating them about the different aspects of perfectionism from a
multidimensional perspective. By providing workshops and discussion groups in the
form of parent forums and teacher in-services, the school counselor can lead adults
toward a more balanced viewpoint and away from the idea that perfectionism is
necessarily a negative phenomenon that leads to impaired mental health in children
and adolescents. In emphasizing the potential positive aspects of perfectionism, the
school counselor can help parents and teachers begin to explore new ways of
conceptualizing the perfectionistic traits of their children. It is essential in this psychoeducational process to stress that holding high standards and having a need for order
can be helpful behaviors if they are not taken to an extreme and if the student does not
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experience anxiety related to the discrepancy between his or her standards and reallife circumstances.
20. In making suggestions to parents and teachers about interventions for helping
perfectionistic children and adolescents gain more positive coping strategies for
school, the counselor should emphasize the need for careful observation of students in
order to determine which of the characteristics of perfectionism are in force. The
counselor would base suggestions for intervention on an assessment of the balance of
these factors.
21. Students who demonstrate predominantly the positive aspects of perfectionism.
Concerned adults may not need to intervene with this student in any way. The only
suggestion the counselor might give is for the parent(s) and/or teacher(s) to encourage
the child to continue in this pattern of attitude and behavior and to watch for possible
incursions of anxiety about the discrepancy between the high standards and actual
performance.
22. Students who demonstrate some characteristics of both adaptive and
maladaptive perfectionism. The counselor may make suggestions to involved adults
about helping the student change some of his or her attitudes or beliefs. One method
that could work with these children and adolescents would be to help them move
toward more realistically assessing their own ability to live up to their standards. This
would involve examining their past performance and deciding what is truly possible
in terms of performance in the future. Sometimes it is helpful to the student to actually
make a chart or graph of his or her past expectations compared with the actual
performance, in order to have a visual representation of the discrepancy.
23. Another method used successfully with these children is teaching them
relaxation techniques, so that they can feel more in control of their anxiety and reduce
their need to avoid making mistakes (Adderholdt-Elliott, 1987). It would also be
helpful to work with these students on changing some of their self-talk, so that they
would reduce their tendency toward extreme self-criticism (Antony & Swinson,
1998).
24. Students who demonstrate predominantly the characteristics of maladaptive
perfectionism. These students are at high risk for depression, eating disorders, suicidal
ideation, and other psychological problems that affect their entire lives, not just
performance and adjustment in school. In consulting with the adults who come into
contact with children at this extreme of the perfectionism continuum, it would
probably be appropriate for the school counselor to refer them for work with a mental
health professional on the underlying issues related to these difficulties.
Counseling
25. While direct counseling services can be invaluable to perfectionistic students, it
is essential for the school counselor to do the same type of initial assessment of the
balance of adaptive and maladaptive factors involved.
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26. Students who demonstrate predominantly positive behaviors related to
perfectionism. The counselor will probably only provide very limited counseling
services, focused on encouragement for continued high standards and reasonable selfcriticism. These students may be excellent candidates for serving as models to other
students, especially those who have a tendency toward the less constructive side of
perfectionism and those who have a tendency toward underachievement. It would be
important to include these students in a group as models (Muro & Kottman, 1995), if
the counselor were going to do a group for maladaptive perfectionists.
27. Explore how the desire to be perfect relates to parental expectations, family
values, and the striving for significance. This is a strategy that works well in play
form with elementary students and in discussion form with middle school and high
school students. With younger students, the counselor can use a puppet or doll to
“interview” the child about family interactions and expectations (Muro & Kottman,
1995). With older students, the counselor introduces the topic of parental and familial
patterns, values, and expectations in order to help them gain insight into how they
could be working to be perfect as a vehicle for pleasing parents and living up to
family values. It is sometimes helpful to do some reality testing by suggesting that
students actually talk to their parents about what the family standards are and what
will happen (both behaviorally and emotionally) if they do not live up to the standards
(Adderholdt-Elliott, 1987).
Conclusion
28. Recent researchers have suggested that there are both adaptive and maladaptive
components of perfectionism. It is important for the school counselor not to intervene
to decrease levels of perfectionism that are actually adaptive and contribute to the
well-being of the student. As Slaney and Ashby’s (1996) research with adult
perfectionists suggests, students may not want or need to give up their perfectionism.
However, they might profit from the reduction of those facets of their perfectionism
that are maladaptive, such as harsh self-criticism and fear of mistakes.
References
Adderholdt-Elliott, M. (1987). Perfectionism: What’s bad about being too good. Minneapolis,
MN: Free Spirit.
Antony, M., & Swinson, R. (1998). When perfect isn’t good enough: Strategies for coping
with perfectionism. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
Ashby, J., Bieschke, K., & Slaney, R. (1997, August). Multidimensional perfectionism and
career decision-making self-efficacy. Poster presented at the annual meeting of the
American Psychological Association, Chicago, IL.
Ashby, J., & Kottman, T. (1996). Inferiority as a distinction between adaptive and
maladaptive perfectionism. Individual Psychology, 52, 237-245.
Ashby, J., LoCicero, K., Kottman, T., Schoen, E., & Honsell, G. (1998, August).
Multidimensional perfectionism and self-efficacy. Poster presented at the annual
meeting of the American Psychological Association, San Francisco, CA.
Perfectionistic Children and Adolescents / 8
Blatt, S.J. 91995). The destructiveness of perfectionism: Implications for the treatment of
depression. American Psychologist, 50, 1003-1020.
Bloom, B. (1997). Planned short-term psychotherapy (2nd ed.). Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
Burns, D. (1980, November). The perfectionist’s script for self-defeat. Psychology Today, pp.
34-42.
Flett, G., Hewitt, G., Blankstein, K., & O’Brien, S. (1991). Perfectionism and learned
resourcefulness in depression and self-esteem. Personality and Individual Differences,
12, 61-68.
Hewitt, P., & Flett, G. (1990). Perfectionism and depression: A multidimensional analysis,
Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 5, 423-438.
Hewitt, P., & Flett, G. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization,
assessment, and association with psychotherapy. Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, 60, 456-470.
Hollender, m. (1965). Perfectionism. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 6, 94-103.
Kline, B., & Short, E. (1991a). Changes in emotional resilience: Gifted adolescent boys.
Roeper Review, 13(4), 184-187.
Kline, B., & Short, E. (1991b). Changes in emotional resilience: Gifted adolescent females.
Roeper Review, 13(3), 118-121.
Kottman, T. (1995). Partners in play: An Adlerian approach to play therapy. Alexandria, VA:
American Counseling Association.
Leon, G., Kendall, P., & Garber, J. (1980). Depression in children: Parent, teacher, and child
perspectives. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 8(2), 221-235.
LoCicero, K., Ashby, J., & Periasamy, S. (in press). Multidimensional perfectionism and
middle school age gifted students. Roeper Review.
Muro, J., & Kottman, T. (1995). Guidance and counseling in the elementary and middle
schools. Dubuque, IA: Brown & Benchmark.
Parker, W. (1997). An empirical typology of perfectionism in academically talented children.
American Educational Research Journal, 34, 545-562.
Periassamy, S., Ashby, J., & LoCicero, K. (1999). Multidimensional perfectionism and locus
of control. Poster presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychological
Association, Boston, MA.
Rice, K., Ashby, J., & Slaney, R. (1997). Adaptive and maladaptive dimensions of
perfectionism. Unpublished manuscript, Michigan State University. (Available from the
first author.)
Roberts, S., & Lovett, S. (1994). Examining the “F” in gifted: Academically gifted
adolescents’ physiological and affective response to scholastic failure. Journal for the
Education of the Gifted, 17, 241-259.
Robins, C., & Hinkley, K. (1989). Social-cognitive processing and depressive symptoms in
children: A comparison of measures. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 17(1), 2936.
Slaney, R., & Ashby, J. (1996). Perfectionists: Study of a criterion group. Journal of
Counseling and Development, 74, 393-398.
Perfectionistic Children and Adolescents / 9
Slaney, R., Mobley, M., Trippi, J., Ashby, J., & Johnson, D. (1996). The almost perfect scale –
revised. Unpublished manuscript, The Pennsylvania State University. (Available from
the first author.)
Steiger, H., Leung, F., Puentes-Newman, G., & Gottheil, N. (1992). Psycho-social profiles of
adolescent girls with varying degrees of eating and mood disturbances. International
Journal of Eating Disorders, 11(2), 121-131.
Thompson, C., & Rudolph, L. (2000). Counseling children (5th ed.). Belmont, CA:
Brooks/Cole.
Vernon, A. (1999). Counseling children and adolescents (2nd ed.). Denver, CO: Love.
Winner, E. (1996). Gifted children. New York: Basic Books.
Perfectionistic Children and Adolescents / 10
Answer in your own words.
1.
Answer the question below in English.
Describe some of the distinguishing traits of perfectionistic children (paragraph
1).
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Choose the best answer.
2.
Perfectionistic children are those who
a. have achieved perfection.
b. question the possibility of perfection.
c. reject perfection as inhuman.
d. aim at perfection.
e. have inherited this trait from perfectionistic parents.
Answer the question below in Hebrew.
3.
On what grounds is perfectionism – paragraph 2 – considered suspect?
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Answer the question below in Hebrew.
4.
What approach to perfectionism is recommended in paragraph 2?
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Answer the question below in Hebrew.
5.
Explain the meaning of adaptive and maladaptive traits (paragraph 3).
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
6.
Answer the question below in English.
How has the approach to perfectionism in adults – paragraphs 4-5 – been
recently modified?
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Perfectionistic Children and Adolescents / 11
7.
Answer the question below in English.
How could perfectionism – paragraph 6 – both improve and undermine one’s
self-esteem?
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Answer the question below in Hebrew.
8.
How is perfectionism viewed by Steiger, Robins and Hinkley – paragraph 9?
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Answer the question below in Hebrew.
9.
In what sense could one say that the information provided in paragraphs 10-11
is merely tautological? (inferential)
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
10.
Answer the question below in English.
What are the two distinct faces of perfectionism? (paragraph 11)
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Answer the question below in Hebrew.
11. In what cases could high personal standards and the need for order – paragraphs
13-14 – turn out to be either a blessing or a curse?
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Choose the best answer.
12. Maladaptive perfectionists – paragraphs 15-16 – will usually attribute their
failures to
a. external interference.
b. the objective difficulty of the assignment.
c. the arbitrariness of the examiners.
d. their own shortcomings.
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13.
14.
15.
16.
Answer the question below in English.
Describe some of the adverse effects – paragraph 24 – of maladaptive
perfectionism.
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Answer the question below in English.
Discuss the state of mind of those students – paragraph 26 – who have a
tendency toward underachievement. (Inferential)
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Answer the question below in English.
Discuss the connection between parental expectations – paragraph 27 – and the
desire to be perfect.
Answer: _____________________________________________________________
Answer the question below in English.
What is the main idea in this article?
Answer: _____________________________________________________________