Perfectionism in Gifted Students We In Doubt Call Perfectionism Defined • Personality characteristics involves o Tendency to place excessive emphasis on organization o Setting of and striving for high personal standards o Critical self-evaluation if these standards are not reached o High concern over mistakes o Doubts quality of personal achievement Definition Continued • Perfectionism, in psychology, is a personality disposition characterized by an individual striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical selfevaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. It is best conceptualized as a multidimensional characteristic, as psychologists agree that there are many positive and negative aspects. • Wikipedia Types of Perfectionism 1. Adaptive Perfectionism 2. Maladaptive Perfectionism Types of Perfectionism • Adaptive Perfectionism o Adherence to high self-standards, order, and organization o Freedom to be less precise o Experience positive feelings when task is completed Adaptive Behaviors • Carefully attending to task and school work • Keeping their rooms and workspace neat • Engaging in limited acting out behaviors that require few discipline referrals Types of Perfectionism • Maladaptive Perfectionism o High standards that never seem achievable o Excessive self-criticism o Completed projects are not enjoyed o Considerable anxiety about imperfections Types of Perfectionism • All or Nothing Thinking • Transforming Desires into Demands • Focusing on unmet goals and challenges rather than success Identifying Maladaptive Behaviors • Overly serious about their school work or task • Frustrated when things do not go as they would like • Hesitant to engage in activities that may result in a “mess” of some sort • Extremely self critical behaviors • Anxiety or depression Other Signs of Perfectionism • How does your child respond to competition? • How does your child respond to compliments? • How are you modeling? Frustration as Parents Activities • Engaging children with play materials they would usually reject o Toys and Art Material • • • • Play doh Clay Finger Paints Games like Fibber Activities • Students can learn many lessons from studying famous people • Involve your students in the community A Little Love and Logic Goes a Long Way • Lock in Empathy • Return Responsibility • Turn your words into Gold • Feeling followed by huh? Turn Your Words Into Gold • • • • • • • • • What are you going to do about it…. I love you too much to argue…. That is something you can decide… What would work best for you ____ or ______ You can _______ or _____________ Do you want to know what other kids say works___ You worked really hard on that… How did you do that…. I noticed……. Thoughts • Kids that are gifted are often praised not for who they are as people but for what they can do that astounds others around them • Consider what you are praising, their attempt or results • Before looking at grades ask your child, what are you most proud of • Ask, “What did you learn?” not “What did you earn?” • Model Imperfection without apologizing • Sometimes it Is easier not to try than to say I failed References • • • • • • • Ashby, J. S., Kottman, T., & Martin, J. L. (2004). Play therapy with young perfectionists. International Journal of Play Therapy, 13(1), 35-55. •Ashby, J. S., Kottman, T., & Stoltz, K. B. (2006). Multidimensional perfectionism and personality profiles. The Journal of Invidiaual Psychology, 62(3), 313-323. •Bardone-Cone, A. M., Sturm, K., Llawson, M. A., Robinson, D. R., & Smith, R. (2010). Perfectionism across stages of recovery from eating disorders. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 43(2), 139-148. •Cox, B. J., Clara, I. P., Enns, M. W. (2009). Self-criticism, maladaptive perfectionism, and depression symptoms in a community sample: A longitudinal test of the mediating effects of person-dependent stressful life events. Journal of Cognitive Psyhotherapy: An International Quarterly. 23(4), 336-349. •Hazan, C. & Shaver, P. (1987) Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524. •Kottman, T. (2001). Adlerian play therapy. International Journal of Play Therapy, 10(2), 1-12 •Purdon, C., Antony, M. M., & Swinson, R. P. (1999). Psychometric properties of the Frost MultidimensionalPerfectionism Scale in a clinical anxiety disorders sample. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 55, 1271–1286 References • • • • • • • • Rice, K. G., Ashby, S. J., & Preusser, K. J. (1996). Perfectionism, relationship with parents, and self-esteem. Individual Psychology, 52(3), 246-260. •Rice, K. G., Lopez, F. G., & Vergana, D. (2006). Parental/social influences on perfectionism and adult attachment orientations. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24(4), 580-605. •Rice, K. G., & Mirzadeh, S. A. (2000). Perfectionism, attachment, and adjustment. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 47(2), 238-250. •Ulu, I. P., & Tezer, E. (2010). Adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism, adult attachment, and big five personality traits. The Journal of Psychology, 144(4), 327-340. •Wei, M., Heppner, P. P., Russell, D. W., & Young, S. K. (2006). Maladaptive perfectionism and ineffective coping as mediators between attachment and future depression: A prospective analysis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 57 (1), 67-79. Sinem Akay, M.S.Ed. University of North Texas