I am not a tourist – I am European and I am at home in The Netherlands.
For two and a half years, I have been living in The Netherlands. For all my life prior to this, I
lived in Canada. I was born there. My father was a citizen of Finland and my mother was
Scottish.
Born and raised in Canada, I had a brother I knew nothing about until I was nearly 30 years
old. My father, a Finnish citizen who emigrated to Canada with his family as a child, grew up
and volunteered for the Canadian army in World War 2. My father was part of the liberation
of Holland and fell in love with a Dutch woman. He went back to Canada. She remained
here and bore a son, my half brother Hans.
In the 1960’s, Hans’s mother married a widow with three sons. Together they had a son.
Two of her stepsons grew up and lost touch. The youngest remained near by.
The Dutch children of the liberation went through a period in the l980’s where some looked
for their fathers. Hans was one of them. We met when I had two young children of my
own. We kept in touch. Several times Hans visited and, 12 years ago, he came with his
mother.
After she met me, she reported back to her youngest stepson, “She’s different. I think you
would like her.” She prided herself on her matchmaking skills and Koos was her biggest
challenge. He was the most determined bachelor there ever was. Her attempts to find a
match for him kept failing.
When both of my children became independent, it was my turn to travel. I thought about my
roots. My mother came from Scotland. For a few years, I had established contact with a
cousin who took a huge plunge and visited me for the first time after her 50th birthday. It was
my turn to visit my European relatives. I had visited family in Finland when my father was
alive.
I thought about Hans and my cousin, how they had come to visit and how it was my turn now
that I had turned 50 and my children were independent. Consulting both my cousin and my
half brother, I made plans to visit Scotland and The Netherlands
I arrived in The Netherlands in July 2005. Hans introduced me to his step brother Koos and
we fell in love at first sight. We didn’t see it right away: others did. When we opened our
eyes to it, it was magical. We loved each other so much and were amazed at how quickly and
easily we got to know each other so well. He was 51 and never married. We fell like a rock
for each other. We knew it was right. In September I moved here to be with Koos. We
planned to spend the rest of our lives together.
I arrived as a Canadian tourist, entitled to stay only three months. This could have been a
problem.
If there ever was divine intervention, it happened here. Nothing got in our way. As the child
of a Finnish citizen, I was automatically a Finnish citizen and citizen of the European Union.
All that was required was the paperwork. I applied almost as soon as I heard that it was
possible, months before I considered coming to visit my European family members.
My tourist stay was about to expire before the new year and I had heard nothing to confirm
my Finnish citizenship. I said to Koos, “I don’t want to be illegal, not even for a minute.”
Late at night, two and a half hours before I was about to become an illegal alien in The
Netherlands, I received an email from the Finnish consulate. My Finnish citizenship was
confirmed. Koos opened the bottle of champagne we had purchased for New Year’s Eve and
we celebrated. I was not going to be illegal, not even for a minute. In fact, I had many
minutes to spare.
If there ever was a divine plan, it was evident here. How could two people know beyond any
doubts in such a short time a) that they were right for each other and, b) that all obstacles to
them being together would vanish like the mist? It didn’t make sense. Yet we trusted that it
would be so. And so it was.
If there ever was a reason for such haste, it was evident here. When Koos and I had been
together only 8 months, he took ill and had to be admitted to the hospital for a few days for
emergency treatment. A few weeks later, we found out what was wrong. Cancer. Then we
learned that it was terminal cancer. They gave him one year without treatment, and almost
two years with treatment.
He had six months.
Most of the six months was good. We toured Friesland and Overijssel on the boat, resting in
harbours when fatigue from chemotherapy hit him. He loved being on the water. We got
married in the fall. Two months and one day later, he died after entering the hospital for his
routine treatment.
A widow now, I remain in The Netherlands.
Where is my home? This is my home. I felt at home here from the moment Koos wrapped
me in his arms when he met me at Schiphol. What are my roots? I have very little family in
Canada because I am a first-generation Canadian. Most generations of my family are in
Scotland and Finland and The Netherlands. Here at present, I have a half brother and a
brother-in-law and more family through marriage. In Canada, I have two grown children
living in two different provinces. If I moved back to Canada, where would my home be? I
have no home in Canada.
The Netherlands is my home. I have returned to Europe where my family’s roots lie.
Everything needed to make a fulfilling life has fallen into place here in a way it never did in
Canada. It continues to feel right even though Koos has passed away. I do not know what
the future brings for me, but I am home.
So, the contest winners were to be announced on the 28th of March. I just noticed this. Oh
well. I’m sending this anyway. Groetjes, Margaret