Rachel Denise McSwain
ENG 262
July 8, 2010
A (Not So) Modest Proposal
In 1792, Jonathan Swift wrote a letter titled ‘A Modest Proposal’. It has long since been
considered one of the most well known pieces of satire ever composed. Swift was obviously
disturbed by the common scene of a female beggar, with no meat on her bones and clothed in
rags, soliciting on the streets, followed by multiple dirty children. Swift jokingly presents a
solution to the issue in his letter to the Pope: eating the babies of these young, poor mothers. But
what if, for the past 218 years, this piece has been incorrectly regarded as satire? What if Swift
was serious and sincere in his proposal that would eliminate the issue of begging children in the
streets of Dublin and alleviate the issues that accompany overpopulation? For the past two
centuries, none have considered that the infanticide Swift suggests might be in seriousness, but
here we will. Swift discussed a great number of reasons why consuming young children is
beneficial to Irish society as a whole. These include, but are not limited to; the introduction of a
new cuisine and dish, a reduction in the number of abortions performed, and promotion of thrifty
living. While previously deemed as an example of satire, ‘A Modest Proposal’ deserves an
exploration in seriousness. Through this examination, it will be made apparent Swift was on the
right track to improving the quality of living for the Irish and his idea of eating babies could have
been quite beneficial to the economy and society.
Swift began his argument with a serious tone. Swift offers a solution to the issue of
beggars. He suggests that the public needs to find a method to make these young, begging
children a useful part of the social order of a community. As beggars, they are only draining the
resources of the town and its citizens. Instead of continuing on in this manner until death, Swift
proposes that the children are allowed to nurse for one year and then “instead of being a Charge
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upon their Parents, or the Parish, or wanting Food and Raiment for the rest of their Lives, they
shall, on the Contrary, contribute to the Feeding and partly to the Clothing of many Thousands”
(Swift 4). It is here that Swift’s work begins to take the appearance of a satire. But how do we
know he is not serious? It is a practical solution, and although cannibalism has long been
considered taboo in western culture, many other behaviors were once, but over the course of
many generations, have merged into society. Some examples of actions and concepts that were
taboo at one time include; the education of women, gambling, unmarried cohabitation,
homosexuality, abortion, and even divorce. These are all now common day occurrences and
integral parts of western society. Consuming young children could have just as easily morphed
into a familiar cuisine. For example, a familiar American meal consists of hot dogs. It is common
knowledge that the most foul, unusable meat of animals goes into the making of hot dogs. Upon
first being told of how hot dogs are made and the contents, we are offended and disgusted by this
new knowledge. However, this information rarely keeps anyone from eating the franks. Swift
makes the same argument for babies. They’re simply too delicious to resist!
Secondly, Swift's argument that eating babies is better than aborting them is as faultless
as it is well-thought out. It should be obvious to us all that allowing babies to nurse and grow for
a year, then killing and consuming them is much more humane than terminating them when they
are mere fetuses, still in their mother’s wombs. Although abortions may save the young,
unmarried women the shame and embarrassment of bearing a child, it would rob the citizens of
Ireland of a delicious, tender dinner. The Irish were already familiar with a shortage of food from
the Irish Famine of 1740-41. There was no way for Swift to have foreseen the coming of Great
Famine (better known as the Great Potato Famine) between 1845-52, but perhaps if his proposal
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July 8, 2010
had been taken seriously, the incorporation of an additional food group could have saved the
country’s inhabitants during that time period. Swift also argues that infant meat is fairly versatile
and can be easily prepared into many tasty dishes. In the words of Jonathan Swift, “a young
healthy Child well Nursed is at a year Old, a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome Food,
whether Stewed, Roasted, Baked, or Boyled” (Swift 9).
This additional food group is not only pleasant to the taste buds, but can also easily be
compared to any other meat source and the manner in which it is raised and farmed. Swift
suggests that in order to facilitate the growth of the country, we must let some babies grow to
adulthood, in order to supply us with additional stock down the road. In order to do so, we
cannot spare an equal number of males to females, but must instead reserve one fourth males,
and the rest females. As Swift states, this is due to the fact “that these Children are seldom the
Fruits of Marriage” (Swift 10). We have precedence for this activity already, such as with cattle,
sheep, and our other livestock. Babies should be farmed similar to the manner in which chickens
are raised. A brood of hens may consist of anywhere from twelve to twenty females. These hens
will be easily served by one rooster. There is no need for an equal ratio of hens to roosters, just
as there is no need for an equal number of mature male humans to female humans.
Next Swift discusses how it is necessary to act thriftily, and not let any part of the baby
go to waste, much like if it were a cow or deer. In both instances, we would consume the edible
portions, perhaps give the innards to other animals or use as compost, and use the skin in a
practical manner. Swift suggests the skin “will make admirable Gloves for Ladies, and Summer
Boots for fine Gentlemen” (Swift 15). The practice of not letting any portion of a food source go
to waste has been a common practice since the times of Native Americans. It is still practiced in
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ENG 262
July 8, 2010
the US, although not to the extent it once was. For example, when a sow is slaughtered, her meat
is consumed by humans, perhaps in the form of ribs or bacon, her skin into animal feed, and her
fat made into lard. If the Irish did indeed consume the babies, they would take another step in
becoming self sufficient. Swift declares babies to be too tender to ship or export, therefore
making them a local commodity. The farming of infants would also become a significant source
of new and additional revenue for the country. Females that provide babies for consumption will
be able earn a small amount to supplement their income that comes from begging on the streets
and jobs will be made in the produce and butchering industries, since the demand for fresh infant
will soar.
Lastly, perhaps the greatest argument that can be made in support of dining on young
Irish children is that is the power lies fully on the Irish themselves. They are capable people,
surely capable of making the proper decisions for their own citizens. This decision is also of little
to no expense, especially when compared to the revenue and monetary gains a new dish could
bring to the country and its economy. Another important point is that this new dish would be of
little trouble as well. There are already many butcher houses in business, and surely no butcher
would be offended or opposed to adding human baby to the list of livestock and meat that they
slaughter daily. In comparison, there is little difference in the methods used in butchering poultry
and those used in the butchering of young children. The connective tissues found in humans are
similar to those of other livestock.
In conclusion, these are but a few of the great advantages Swift proposes in his ‘Modest
Proposal’. He has made an extremely convincing argument as to why the Irish would be better
off consuming young children. These include, but are not limited to; the introduction of a new
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July 8, 2010
cuisine and dish, a reduction in the number of abortions performed, and encouragement of thrifty
living. Although he has been regarded for many years as a great satirist, I doubt anyone can
argue against his sensible and watertight suggestions and ideas to improve public Ireland.
Overall, Swift's arguments are so sound and undeniably literal that I have been convinced and
tonight I shall dine on babies.
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Rachel Denise McSwain
ENG 262
July 8, 2010
Works Cited
Swift, Jonathan. "A Modest Proposal." Andromeda. Rutgers, 1729. Web. 10 Jul 2010.
<http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Texts/modest.html>.
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