University Writing Program
Fall 2005
Donald Meisenheimer, CAI Coordinator
dkmeisenheimer@ucdavis.edu
Sentence Work on Derivative Nouns
Summary
For homework, students read about derivative nouns (in this case, in Mightier
than the Sword by G. Edward Good). They bring a rough draft to class of a short,
300-400 word essay. After some guided practice on an old student paper
changing derivative nouns into stronger verbs, the instructor asks students to
break up their rough drafts into sentences on their computers and examine each
sentence in turn. As students underline the subjects and bold the verbs, they
become aware of derivative nouns cluttering their sentences, as well as repeated
use of to-be verbs, there-are constructions, and so on, and they change the
sentences accordingly.
Target Courses
I observed this lesson in a UWP 104B Legal Writing course, although it has wide
application in other UWP courses.
Amount of Time Required
The lesson took the full 80 minutes of class time.
Software You’ll Use
Word, and possibly a Classroom Dropoff Folder.
Prep
Before class, the instructor should read over the homework material on derivative
nouns in the accompanying text (in this case, Mightier Than the Sword by G.
Edward Good, chapter three, page 49), and either locate an old student paper
containing derivative nouns, or borrow the actual example that was used in the
class I observed (see below).
LESSON PLAN
Background
Students arrive in class with the rough draft of a 300-400 word essay. They have also
read about derivative nouns (in this case, in Mightier Than the Sword by G. Edward
Good, chapter three, page 49).
Tip: If you want to make sure that students have brought a completed assignment
to class, make a dropoff subfolder and ask them to drop off the assignment before
proceeding to make changes to the rough draft on their computer screens. You
can then also ask for them to drop off the changed rough draft at the end of class
in another dropoff subfolder.
Step 1: The Instructor Reviews the Reading on Derivative Nouns
The instructor in the class I observed began with a nice metaphor: “I’m going to have you
work on your sentences,” she told the students. “We’re going to break down your rough
drafts into individual sentences and smooth out the rough spots in the same way that a
music teacher would ask you to repeat the phrasing over and over of particular problem
areas in a musical piece until you had mastered it.”
Next, refering to the homework reading on derivative nouns, the instructor reminds
students that derivative nouns aren’t just -ion nouns. She runs quicly through the list of
derivative nouns.
Step 2: The Instructor Solicits Class Input Changing Derivative Nouns in a Sample on
Screen
The instructor now opens a draft on the overhead screen which a student from last year
produced (see the box below). She zooms in on a particular sentence loaded with
derivative nouns and highlights “justification” and “elimination” and so on, then
underlines them.
She says, “This group of sentences could be stronger using active verbs rather than
derivative nouns.”
On the overhead screen, she breaks the sentence into phrases, one derivative noun per
phrase. She asks the students, “How would you change these noun phrases made up of
derivative nouns into active verb phrases?” Students make suggestions, and she changes
the phrases on screen. “Justification,” for example, becomes “justify.” In some cases,
however, the changes are harder to make, since the phrase does not include the original
agent. She therefore underlines the original agent, and students add that agent to each of
the newly made active verbs. She notes that the added specifics result in a more effective
sentence.
STUDENT SAMPLE
The proposal for a “storage reservoir” was the result of many factors.
Justifications for building the reservoir included potential elimination of
downstream flooding, distribution of water to dry areas of Solano County,
increase of recreation in the area, and improvement to wildlife. Another reason
was the potential for agricultural and industrial growth in Solano County.
However, the reason which warranted the greatest rush in “pushing through” the
Solano Project, was the potential benefit that military bases in the area might
achieve from having additional water resources. The Solano Project would
provide water to irrigate 83,000 acres in Solano County, of which 78,000 were
unirrigated and 5,000 were previously irrigated. By building Monticello Dam,
10,700 acres would become submerged at the site of the town of Monticello, but
78,000 additional acres of open land in Solano County could then be irrigated.
Step 3: Students Comb through Their Own Drafts Identifying Subjects, Verbs, and
Derivative Nouns
The instructor next turns off the overhead projector and asks students to get their current
300-400 word rough drafts up on their computer screens.
After each sentence, students hit return a couple times, forcing them to examine each
sentence separately. Then they identify the subjects and verbs of the clauses in each
sentence, bolding one and underlining the other.
As students do so, the instructor circulates and helps identify subjects and verbs,
correcting students when necessary and answering their questions.
Aloud she notes: “Doing this will help you see that you have some ineffective sentences.”
Again she invokes the musical metaphor: “I’m not just telling you to rewrite your
sentences and make them better, but to play the scales and improve the phrasing.
Breaking it down like this helps you see where the verbs and nouns are, and where the
derivative nouns make the sentences less effective. If you’re verbs are all is, then you
can obviously try to make more active verbs. Same for there are/was constructions.”
The class is mostly finished in twenty to thirty minutes.
Tip: Given enough time, students might get up and trade computers repeatedly to
check each others’ work, noting any missed derivative nouns and suggesting more
effective verbs.