Sarah Jane Smith – Comeback
Track One
At Cemetery
Sarah Jane: Well Lavinia, I hope you liked your day in the limelight. I think you’d have
hated it actually. All those people going on about how wonderful, how successful, how
much a pillar of society you were. The people from the Market Garden, they planted a
tree in your name. Just to the left of the village green. They thought that was a bit more
worth while then a big church sendoff. I think they were right. But you know as well as I
do, in a place like Morton Harwood, you don’t get to slip away quietly. Brendan sends
his love, couldn’t be here of course, he’s over in San Francisco. I’m going to miss you,
you know. All those adventures together we never actually had. But you listened to me
going on nineteen to the dozen so you must have felt you knew as much as I did about
my work. Going to miss you so much. Oh. Your solicitor tipped me a wink about your
will. Thank you, it’s very nice, quite what I’m going to do with a house, Market garden
and the royalties on your pittance, I’m not quite sure. But I promise to at least be slightly
frivolous as you insisted so much last Christmas. Well I best be getting back to the house
now. The locals are gathering for the party, and apparently Juno Baker says we’re not to
call it a wake because you don’t believe in such things. I’m glad she’s around. I think she
was very fond of you. Goodbye Lavinia. I love you.
Someone approaches
Harris: Ms. Smith?
Sarah Jane: Oh! Of course...
Harris: .. Sarah?
Sarah Jane: I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry, I don’t think I..
Harris: No no, you wouldn’t, I work in the village. Just wanted to pass on my
condolences. I can’t make the bash at the big house but I wanted you to know that we all
loved and respected your Aunt, very much.
Sarah Jane: Oh how very kind of you.. thank you very much.. mister..
Harris: Anyways.. must dash. Can’t bare the rain. Oh I um, I gather the last episode of
your series goes out tonight, we’ve watched them all. You’re very good at getting to the
heart of these things. I’m sure tonights will be memorable.
Sarah Jane: Thank you.. I doubt I’ll see it though, with all this going on but you.. you..
thank you again, it’s lovely, thank you..
Harris: Goodbye Miss Smith
Harris Leaves
Sarah Jane: Bye. Right. Back to the house and the waiting throng.
Sarah heads off. Back to Harris getting into a car
Harris: Good afternoon.
Hilda Winters: Good afternoon Harris. How is Ms Smith?
Harris: In mourning.
Hilda: Nothing compared to how she’ll be tomorrow morning. Shall we go? These
tedious little Cotswold villages are like something out of Enie Blighton.
Harris: Back to London then?
Hilda: Yes Harris, back to London and the beginning of the end for Sarah Jane Smith.
Track Two
At the bank
Mr. Venables: I have been a customer of this bank for twenty years, young lady.
Sarah Jane: And I’m sure you’re a very old and valued customer, Mr. Venables. On the
other hand, I’m a very new cashier and I’ve been given strict instructions to ask for
identification before cashing large checks, especially if I don’t know the customer. So if
you could help me, just this once?
Mr. Venables: Do you think you’ll remember me next time?
Sarah Jane: Oh yes, Mr. Venables, I’ll be sure to remember you.
Josh: Come on mate, just show the lady some i.d, will ya? You’re holdin up the queue.
Mr. Venables: Look, I want none if your insolence young man, you can wait your turn.
Oh very well then, now let me see what I can find for you. Ah here you are. Gas bill,
credit card, library card, will that do? I’m afraid I didn’t bring my passport, I didn’t think
I’d need it.
Sarah Jane: No no, that will be absolutely fine, and I’m sorry for..
Mr. Venables: …. Well?? Are you going to cash my check or not?
Sarah Jane: Possibly… not. Not immediately.
Mr. Venables: Oh what now? Do you need my fingerprints? Or do I have to take a blood
test?
Sarah Jane: Two gentlemen have just come into the bank..
Mr. Venables: What of it?
Sarah Jane: They’re wearing black masks and carrying sawn off shotguns. I rather think
we’re about to be held up.
Shots ring out. A woman screams.
Robber 1: That was just a warning. Next time I won’t be aiming at the ceiling. Nobody
move and nobody will get hurt. Shut up. That’s better. Now while I look after the door
my mate will pass along the counter and the cashiers will empty their cash drawers into
this sack and stay away from those alarm buttons. All right, get on with it! First you,
come on hurry up. You there! You the Hedges?
Hedges: I .. am..
Robber 1: Open the connecting door and get that safe open.
Hedges: I’ll do no such thing.
Robber 1: Do it! Or I’ll shoot the nearest customer.
Hedges: Very well.. under protest.
Robber1. Under anything you’d like, just do it. All right now love, now you, get a move
on.
Sarah Jane: I’m doing the best I can. Can’t seem to get the drawer open. It seems to be
stuck?
Robber 1: Oi what are you doing down there? Gimme that!
Sarah Jane: It’s only my mobile, not switched on!
Robber 1: Tough.
breaks cell phone. Alarm starts to go off.
Robber 1: Who did that?? Did you do that?
Sarah Jane: Oh no.. there’s a direct link to the local station, I’d run for it if I were you.
Robber 1: Smart bitch.. I’ll blow your head off.
Josh: Oh no you don’t! Gimme that you..
Sounds of struggling and the gun going off
Robber 1: Ah!
Mr. Venables: You’re letting him get away!
Police: Police! Nobody move! Drop that shotgun now! You too sir!
Josh: Here take it, I don’t want it, I hate bloody guns.
Police: I said drop it!
Josh: All right all right.
Police: Put him in the van with the other two.
Police 2: All right Sarge, go on you.
Josh: Let go of me, you got it all wrong! Get off me! I’m a customer, not a bank robber..
Sarah Jane: Wait wait wait! He isn’t one of them!
Hedges: Ms Samuels..
Sarah Jane: Mr. Hedges, I was talking to the police, they’re arresting the wrong man!
Sergeant, wait! That young man had the shot gun because he had just taken it off of one
of the robbers who threatened to blow my head off with it, he saved my life!
Police: Is this true?
Josh: Of course it’s true, you monkey.. I’m a hero, yeah? I tried to tell you but you
wouldn’t listen.
Police: Just watch your lip…. Sir alright?. Are you sure about this, miss..
Sarah Jane: Of course I’m sure.
Mr. Venables: I can confirm this young lady’s story, sergeant. This young man was
behind me in the queue. He acted most courageously.
Police: He’s been arrested now.. I can’t just let him go. Look we can’t sort this out here,
you’ll have to come down to the station and make a statement miss um… hold on, I know
you don’t I?
Sarah Jane: Oh .. no no, I don’t think so.
Police: That’s right, you’re Sarah Jane Smith. You used to be on that Planet 3 show,
under cover stuff. You gave us a break once on that company that was shipping fire arms
to..
Sarah Jane: Oh her! Yes! I mean no, I mean yes, I’m always mistaken for her. No, I’m
Marie Samuels, I work in the bank as you can see.
Police: Oh uh..on a job are you Miss Smith? Undercover investigation?
Hedges: Is … everything sorted out Miss Samuels?
Sarah Jane: Not quite. They want me to go down to the police station to make a
statement.
Hedges: Then of course you must go..
Sarah Jane: I will be back as soon as I can.
Hedges: No no, take the rest of the day off to recover from your… ordeal?
Sarah Jane: Are you sure?
Hedges: Positive.
Police: Charlie! Give this lady and this uh. Other gentleman a ride down to the station.
Police 2: Right Sarge. This way you two.
Hedges: Ah Sergeant, did I hear you saying you.. recognized our Miss Samuels?
Police: Yes sir. Used to be on the telly. Had her own program for a while. Investigative
reporter. She was in the news a few months back. The people she was investigating
turned out to be legit and she lost her job I think. Anyways her name is Sarah Jane Smith.
Hedges: … Smith. I see..
Track 3
On the phone
Sarah Jane: Great stuff Nat, now that little cover’s been blown.
Nat: He was only doing his job, Sarah.
Sarah Jane: Nat, we’ve worked hard at creating a new life for me and this police… moron
blows it. The bank have my home details! I have to move..
Nat: Again?
Sarah: Yes, again. First I lose the house in Denham, the flat in Chockfarm and now this
one. One day I might just get to unpack.
Nat: Listen Sarah, as always I’m prepared for such eventualities.
Sarah: Is this going to be another one of those, oh Nat you’re a star conversations?
Nat: Yup. I’ve done a drive by on an estate agency in south London about as far away
from where you are now as you can get.
Sarah: I take it drive by is some computer talk, rather then the suggestion that you’ve
been taking pot shots at people.
Nat: It means I do a quick in an out hack on my laptop, Sarah. There’s two nice flats on
the ground floor just behind the Astronomical Society in Brockshores. Give me… twenty
four hours, and we’ll set Lilah Quest up in there.
Sarah: You’re a star.
Nat: I know. Listen, there’s a nice internet café in Kensington, right out of the tube called
Netifect, one of my regular haunts. Meet me there tomorrow at say two, and I’ll have the
keys to one of the flats. Ground floor if it’s all right with you, so I can come and visit.
Sarah: Oh Nat, what can I say?
Nat: You can say that one day, when you’re rich, famous and no longer looking over your
shoulder, you can get me away from Planet Three and set me up in my own tv company.
Sarah: Promise. One day.
Another phone call
Hedges: Get me Mr. Harris.
Answering machine: Name.
Hedges: My name is Ralph Hedges.
Answering machine: How did you obtain this number?
Hedges: I was given it to use in an emergency, and this is an emergency you stupid tin
box. Put me through to Harris at once.
Answering Machine: Hold.
Elevator music plays
Hedges: Oh for heaven’s sake.
Harris: Harris.
Hedges: Ah, Mr. Harris. I’m sorry to disturb you like this.
Harris: You said there was an emergency.
Hedges: We recently took on a temporary cashier not a young girl, a grown woman. Her
name was Samuels, she said she wanted to change from a career in teaching.
Harris: Go on.
Hedges: She started at the beginning of the week. Today there was an attempted hold up.
Harris: You think she was involved?
Hedges: No, indeed she was instrumental in foiling it, the police arrived and.. one of
them recognized her.. as Sarah Jane Smith.
Harris: .. Ha ha. Former Planet Three investigative reporter and all around loser. You
need to sharpen up your recruiting procedures Mr. Hedges.
Hedges: … you know her.
Harris: Miss Smith and I have met before and the CEO is always keen to know her
whereabouts.
Hedges: She must be investigating us! The financial arrangements for Bioguard! Or
Operation Halter .. or even the..
Harris: Keep calm Hedges. Not even Ms Smith could have discovered very much in one
week. Especially with a bank robbery to cope with.
Hedges: What do you want me to do?
Harris: Sit tight, Mr. Hedges and leave everything to us. To me. It’ll all be different in the
morning.
Back at Sarah’s place, the door bell rings
Sarah: The taxi’s early..
Goes to get the door
Sarah: You’ll have to wait I’m afraid… oh… yes?
Josh: It’s me..
Sarah: … you?
Josh: The bloke from the bank?
Sarah: Oh my god, yes of course I’m sorry.
Josh: I just came round to say thanks.
Sarah: How did you know my address?
Josh: Maybe I read it off your statement with the Sarge wasn’t looking. Look, if I’ve
come at a bad time or..
Sarah: No no..
Josh: You look a bit .. going away.
Sarah: Oh well just for the night.
Josh: Well…. Are you okay?
Sarah: Hm?
Josh: You look like the cat that found out the cream was sour.
Sarah: I am, but it doesn’t have anything to do with you. I’m having a bad day all ‘round.
Anyways, I should say thank you, you probably saved my life.
Josh: That’s not what the police thought.
Sarah: They let you go though..
Josh: They had no choice, really. Not after your statement, or the old bloke who turned
up too and backed you up.
Sarah: Oh Mr. Venables, bless his crotchety old heart.. so what took them so long?
Josh: They were keen on tying me in with the robbery.
Sarah: But why?
Josh: Well.. to be honest, I’ve got a bit of form. I uh.. set a few buildings alight back
when I was a teenager. I was quite good at it too, but I’ve been straight for years now.
Sarah: And the police didn’t believe you.
Josh: They wanted to know why I was in the bank when I wasn’t a customer.
Sarah: So why were you?
Josh: I was looking for you.
Sarah: What??
Josh: I come bearing gifts. Here.
Sarah: What is it?
Josh: Oh it’s not going to go bang you know. Letter bombs tend not to be delivered by
hand, in case the delivery boy loses his..
Sarah: Oh god..
Josh: What?
Sarah: Oh the front. It just says FAO: SJ.
Josh: And?
Sarah: Well there’s only one person that calls me SJ because she knows it really pisses
me off. Ellie Martin.
Josh: Ah..
Sarah: Well?
Josh: Well what?
Sarah: is it from her?
Josh: Read it and find out!... SJ.
Sarah: … blast.
Josh: Problem?
Sarah: No, I was right. Ellie Martin. So how do you know her?
Josh: We um.. well uh.. we knew each other quite well a couple of years ago. While she
goes round the country righting the wrongs and hugging trees, freeing small furry animals
and hiding foxes, muggings here gets to do her dirty work in the big city. She sent me
that in a bigger parcel of leaflets and post-its she wanted me sticking up in pubs and bars.
Sarah: Oh that sounds like our Ellie. She wants me to meet up with her the day after
tomorrow. Well now I just have to find her latest tree house. Um.. you know, thank you
for bringing it here.
Josh: .. I uh.. um.. I got fired.. this morning. Some copper called work to check up on me
when I was in the nick. Suspicion of involvement in a bank robbery that was enough for
them. I went round there when they turned me loose and they gave me my card.
Sarah: Oh not fair, didn’t you tell them the true story?
Josh: Couldn’t be bothered. I’ve had enough of that job anyways and they gave me a nice
bonus in cash. Nevermind about me, what about you?
Sarah: What about me?
Josh: What were you doing in that bank anyways?
Sarah: I was working as a cashier.
Josh: Come off it.. I know you’re a famous investigative reporter.
Sarah: Ah well.. used to be. Um let’s just say the investigating reporter rackets been
falling off a bit recently. Look I’ve just put the kettle on, you fancy a cuppa?
Josh: Coffee if you got it. Decaf.
Track Four
On the phone
Hedges: Good morning, manager’s office.
Harris: Good morning to you too Mr. Hedges.
Hedges: Ooh um good um.. morning, Mr. Harris.
Harris: How’s the bank today? Raider free?
Hedges: So far, yes. Um, how can I help you?
Harris: Mr. Hedges, I’m afraid I’ve got some awfully bad news. My employers feel due
to your recent um.. how can I put it.. oh yes, lapse in security, they no longer feel
confident that you can handle their account. They have closed it. And they’ve drawn their
support from the banks other financial ventures.
Hedges: But.. you can’t!
Harris: Can’t?
Hedges: I mean to close an account needs to be done from here. On our servers.
Harris: Oh Mr. Hedges, really. Do you actually believe we don’t have access to
everything? Every transaction, every account. Every paper shredding that goes on in your
bank?
Hedges: But that’s illegal! Immoral!
Harris: A tad late to be worrying about such things now I fear Mr. Hedges. The CEO
thanks you for your help over the last twelve months and suggests that in the future you
don’t go around employing people whose name and status we have spent a great deal of
time and energy destroying. Goodbye Mr. Hedges, we shall not speak again.
Hedges: No no wait.. you have to listen to me if it gets out that you’ve hacked into our
database we’ll be..
realizes there’s only a dial tone
Hedges: Hello? … Damn.
Dials number
Answering Machine: You have called at 02:00 hours, the caller withheld their number.
Hedges: Damn you Harris! Now where’s that number you gave me? You don’t hide away
that easily.
Answering Machine: The number you have dialed has not been recognized. Please check
the number and dial again.
Hedges: Dammit.. oh god, what do I do now??
At the internet café
Josh: Ugh I hate these places. Nerd bars I call em, look at these people. Staring at screens
while good coffee gets cold.
Sarah: Sit down and stop attracting attention, she’ll be here in a mo.
Josh: I’ll get the coffee then.
Sarah: Mint tea for me, oh and Nat will have hot chocolate, two of them if you want to
get on her good side. Do you mind paying? I haven’t got any cash on me. Oh there she is.
Josh: Where?
Sarah: The blue mini that just pulled up.
Josh: She’ll get a ticket, or do I get to pay for that too?
Sarah: Note the little orange sticker on the dashboard young man. She’s a bit special, my
Nat. Very young, very bright and very much in a wheelchair. But she doesn’t let it bother
her. Much. She lives on the internet mostly. As she says, no wheelchairs there. She’s also
my guardian angel.
Josh: Oh all right, I’ll get the door.. here you go.. do you need a hand?
Nat: No thanks I can manage. Morning Sarah.
Sarah: Hi Nat. Oh Josh, you get the drinks then?
Josh: Yes ma’am, anything you say ma’am.
Sarah: Thanks for coming over here.
Nat: No prob. Now before he gets back, are you sure about him?
Sarah: Ellie Martin vouches for him apparently.
Nat: Apparently says it all. Anything Eleanor Martin vouches for, I’d be wary of.
Sarah: Well normally I’d agree with you. But there’s something about him, I don’t know..
reassuring. He’s either a brilliant actor or genuinely nice.
Nat: Well we’ve met genuinely nice people before, they rarely are.
Sarah: Well hey let me go with my instincts on this one and if I’m wrong, you get to say I
told you so.
Nat: Okay okay, on your head be it. Now here’s the key, address is on the tag. It’s yours,
or rather Lilah Quest’s as of this afternoon.
Sarah: Good old Lilah Quest. Nice to bring her out of retirement.
Nat: I also sorted you two new credit cards and you’ve had an account with the bank that
likes to say yes for 8 years. There’s a checkbook and debit card on their way to Lilah’s
care of my office at planet three.
Sarah: You’re a star.
Nat: Stop.. I know.
Josh: drinks ladies?
Sarah and Nat: Thanks.
Nat: You must be Josh.
Josh: Yeah and you must be the Planet Three super spy. Sarah’s told me what you do for
her. Can I get a credit card.
Nat: Joshua Richard Townsend, aged 24. Parents run a ski resort near the alps. Loaded.
You on the other hand are the delinquent only child living for yourself and refusing their
help. Oh how brave. After wasting your time on various fringe loonies you spent 8
months in Felton. Bet that was fun. After various spots in McDonalds, Waterstowe’s and
a printing press, you’re working as a glorified tea boy at a merchant’s until yesterday at
lunch time. They gave him three mobile phones over the last five weeks. He lost them all.
Security isn’t his strong point.
Sarah: Oh speaking of which, I need a new one to put my sim card into? Those nice bank
raiders ruined the other one.
Nat: Oh I’ll get one sorted out and get it so it can’t be traced back to you but it’ll take a
day or two. You’ll have to rely on muggins here. You own a mobile?
Josh: Yup, excuse me, can one of you explain how you know ALL my details? My past?
Nat: That’s my job. Protecting her from chances and backstabbers. Here, have a credit
card then. It’s got a limit of 3000.
Josh: … Oh .. god.. heaven’s a flame, I was joking.
Sarah: Well now he’s on board. What’s Ellie up to?
Nat: Oh never mind her. I want to talk to you about your friendly bank where you or
rather Marie Samuels works. You’ll like this, it’s interesting. Really interesting.
Sarah: All right so it’s interesting, Nat, what is it?
Nat: Don’t really know..
Sarah: Nat!
Nat: Look at it like this Sarah, the internet’s like a spider’s web, right?
Sarah: Yeah? If you say so?
Nat: Touch one part and it sends up a quiver somewhere else. Well that quiver’s been
running through my regular drive by since you’ve been.. robbed yesterday at work. So I
nipped into the bank’s server. Two interesting things. First not only does Marie Samuels
no longer work there, she never did.
Sarah: What?
Nat: And secondly, a rather large number of thousands of pounds have been withdrawn
over night. I think your Mr. Hedges was in over his head with something dark and dodgy.
Sarah: And you think it involves me?
Nat: Not everything revolves around you, Sarah. I suspect it’s entirely coincidental.
Sarah: You know very well we don’t DO coincidences. Never have. And these days I’m
suspicious of even a whiff of one. We’ve only got one lead, Hedges.
Josh: I doubt he’ll give you his job back.
Sarah: Hedges is a panic-er. If I do a real paxman on him, there’s a chance he’ll crack and
give something away.
Josh: You’re going to interview him?
Sarah: Well why not?
Josh: You think he’ll talk to you? Why should he?
Sarah: Maybe I can frighten him into it. Assuming I haven’t forgotten how to bluff.
Track 5
On the phone
Hedges: I’m sorry Ms. Samuels.. I mean Miss Smith, I see no point in continuing this
conversation. You joined the bank staff with forged references.
Sarah: Oh come on Mr. Hedges, I just edited it a bit. You’re missing the point , I don’t
want me old job back. I just want to talk to you.
Hedges: What about?
Sarah: Oh. Your bank’s involvement with a massive financial fraud, that resulted in your
immediate losses of nearly 14,000 pounds over night. You know, little things like that.
Hedges: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Sarah: Oh come on Mr. Hedges, I already know most of it. I’ve been investigating you
for quite a while. Taking a job at the bank was just a final touch.
Hedges: I have nothing to say to you.
Sarah: Oh well that’s a shame. I know you’re not.. not really the criminal type.
Hedges: Certainly not. I was assured that all transactions however unorthodox were
perfectly legal.
Sarah: Oh yes I suspect you were just.. led astray. Think about it Mr. Hedges, I could
give you a chance to tell your side of the story.
Hedges: Well perhaps there may be something in what you say
Sarah: I can put things in a favorable light for you so you come out the hero, not the
villain. Otherwise… well you really wouldn’t like it in prison, Mr. Hedges. Just let me
come, we could talk. If you’re not happy, you can send me away. You’ve got nothing to
lose.
Hedges: Very well. Come to the bank after closing hours. I shall be staying late. There’s
a door to my private office in the alley way behind the bank
hangs up
Sarah: Gotcha!
Josh: Oooh, you little liar! That’s some yarn you spun him.
Sarah: That’s what journalism’s all about, Josh, spinning yarns.
Josh: You really think you can get him to talk?
Sarah: I think there’s a chance, and if he’s convinced that I know most of the story
already.
Josh: You know the Rozzes use exactly the same technique. I had a dose of it yesterday.
Now come along Josh my young lad we know you’re involved in the bank robbery, might
as well tell us about it.
Sarah: Yes but you didn’t fall for it.
Josh: Well I was innocent. For once.
Sarah: That’s just the point.
Josh: What is?
Sarah: Hedges isn’t innocent. He’s mixed up in something nasty and has a lot to hide.
Josh: Doesn’t mean he’ll spill it all to you.
Sarah: It doesn’t mean he won’t! I tell you something Josh..
Josh: What?
Sarah: Some people actually like confessing.
Josh: Get away.
Sarah: No, true. It makes them feel important, gives them a sense of relief. I think Hedges
is the confessing type. All the time I was at the bank, he seemed under terrific strain.
Josh: Sounds daft to me.
Sarah: Well why did he agree to see me if he doesn’t want to talk. He could have told me
just to get lost.
Josh: Hm. Maybe you’re right. Anyways, I’m coming with you.
Sarah: Who invited you?
Josh: I did. I’m not sure it’s safe.
Sarah: Yeah well I don’t think the interview will work with you there.
Josh: Well I could carry a notebook and say I was your secretary..
Sarah: Heh, don’t take offense but you’re not really the type.
Josh: No? Alright then, I’ll come to the bank with you and wait outside. If you don’t
come out in reasonable time I’ll come in and get you.
Sarah: Oh look, you really don’t have to.
Josh: Oh yes I do. Don’t you know your Chinese philosophy?
Sarah: Come again?
Josh: If you save someone’s life, you’re responsible for them from then on.
Sarah: Oh alright come if you must but I don’t think Hedges is dangerous.
Josh: Maybe not but according to you, he’s got dangerous friends, and can I ask you
something?
Sarah: Oh what now?
Josh: Ellie Martin. We’re supposed to be going down to this… Cloots Coombe. Ellie
noted something about Operation Halter, which really pressed your buttons. Explain, SJ.
Sarah: Hey.. don’t call me that.
Josh: Operation Halter?
Sarah: Later. One job at a time. Hedges before Halter, alright?
Josh: Alright. Oh and can I have my phone back now… SJ?
Switch to the phone
Hedges: I tell you she insisted on coming to see me, insisted! She seems to know a great
deal about us already!
Harris: She knows no more then she did yesterday, she was bluffing.
Hedges: She knows about you!
Harris: Unlikely. I don’t do indiscreet, unlike some.
Hedges: So what do I do about this interview with Ms Smith?
Harris: Nothing.
Hedges: What do you mean? She’s coming here after closing hours, I said I’d see her!
She’ll trip me up, make me incriminate myself.
Harris: No she won’t.
Hedges: Oh I never should have joined you in this operation. No amount of money can
compensate for the amount of strain I’m under. I don’t have the right implement for this
sort of thing.
Harris: No, I don’t think you do. Now just calm down Hedges, and don’t worry about the
interview. It isn’t going to happen.
Hedges: What do you mean?
Harris: Never you mind. Just carry on with your usual routine. I’ll talk to you later.
Hedges: But I..
Harris hangs up and calls another number
Harris: This is Harris. Put me through to disposals please? I have a job for Mr.
Shackrivarti. I’d do it myself but I’m rather busy.
At the bank
Josh: You sure you don’t want me to come with you?
Sarah: Quite sure.
Josh: I’ll come down the alley way and make sure you get in safe. Won’t hurt to have
Hedges know I’m here, waiting for you to come out. This must be the door.
Sarah: Well it must be since this is the only one. Oh stop fussing, Josh, I will be fine. Oh.
Door’s unlocked.
Josh: Ooh I’ve seen that in the movies. A door left open, alleys late at night. Oh this
whole thing’s a set up.
Sarah: Oh stop..
Sarah goes in and starts to look around
Sarah: Oh Hedges where are you?
Josh: SJ!
Sarah: Eeek! Oh god I told you to stay outside!
Josh: I got bored.
Sarah: Well the whole place is deserted.
Josh: I’m not surprised; it makes sense to send the staff home when you’re planning a
murder.
Sarah: Hedges office is just along here, come on then.
Josh: You’ll get me done for bank robbery yet.
knocks on door
Sarah: Here we are.. no answer. Well here goes.. Mr. Hedges? Oooh god.. ugh.
Josh: Well there he is but he won’t be giving you much of an interview. Two shots, one
to the heart, one to the top of the head. Nice professional job.
Sarah: Oh Josh I won’t ask how you know so much.
Josh: I learned a lot in Felton. I’m surprised darling Nat’s research didn’t search didn’t
tell you that.
Sarah: Poor old Hedges. Someone must have agreed with me.
Josh: What about?
Sarah: That he was the confessing type.
Josh: Well not anymore, lets get out of here.
Sarah: Not so fast, look paperwork on the desk.
Josh: What’s it say?
Sarah: Oh it’s hard to make out with all the uh.. oh uh.. blood and uh..
Josh: Brains?
Sarah: Oh thank you.. something about clearing houses, safety guarantees, oh.. I don’t
believe it.
Josh: Hm?
Sarah: Cloot’s Coombe.
Josh: Hang on isn’t that the place that..
Sarah: Yes precisely. Um I need to go back to my new flat, pack some stuff and then
we’ll head out South West.
Josh: Why tonight?
Sarah: Why not tonight? I’m not one for hanging around Josh, if you’re not going to keep
up with me..
Josh: I mean.. while I admire your enthusiasm.. doesn’t this strike you as a bit odd? I
mean this bank where you worked, Cloot’s Cloombe where Ellie is, it’s all a bit
convenient.
Sarah: Well of course it’s convenient, that’s the point. Cloot’s Cloombe wasn’t written in
Hedges’ hand writing. It was left here for us.. well for me, to find. They, whoever they
are, knew I’d take the bait.
Josh: Are you all right in the head?? This could be dangerous!
Sarah: Josh.. if you want out, I understand. Really I do. No grudges, but if you want to be
with me, you’ve got to .. REALLY be with me. I won’t pretend this is going to be easy or
fun but I have to know what’s going on. Someone’s messing with my life, I can’t sit
back, I have to act! It’s what I do. I know this a trap but I have to spring it.
Josh: Okay.. we should phone someone to let them know where we are.
Sarah: No, it’s better to operate on a need to know basis and right now the only need to
knows are you and Nat, let’s keep it that way. Now if we’re going on a journey, we shall
need Ethel.
Josh: Who’s Ethel? Your maiden aunt? Your cat?
Sarah: Ethel’s my car.
Josh: Didn’t know you had one.
Sarah: That’s because if you’re being followed or spied on or whatever, they probably
know your car. I keep it in a lockup in Kennington. No one actually knows it’s mine.
Josh: Good plan. You knew didn’t you?
Sarah: Knew what?
Josh: That this bank was bent. That’s why you were working there wasn’t it? You were
investigating it for yourself all alone.
Sarah: You’re learning.
Track 6
Josh: Come on. We’ll get your car, nip back to your flat, you’ll make your call, pack a
bag, and be off. In and out before anyone sees the car.
Sarah: Yeah pack a small bag, better still a rucksack. We better travel light. Oh by the
way, can I borrow your mobile?
Josh: Oh yeah here you go.
Sarah: Josh! It’s off! Never. Switch. It. Off. We may need to contact Natalie urgently.
Josh: I didn’t think creeping into a bank after dark and then having my mobile go off was
that good an idear actually.
Sarah: Look, here I put it on vibrate rather then ring now keep it on!
Josh: The batteries are just gonna..
Sarah: Are rechargeable. Come on, Ethel’s just around the corner. Let me just get the
keys out, there we go.. oh look there’s Ethel, bless her.
Josh: A red Volkswagen Beetle? Oh my god..
Sarah: I’m so sorry if you’re used to a better type of getaway car.
Josh: You were a hippie, weren’t you? Peace, love and crap transport. Still it could be
worse, it could be one of those Volkswagen buses
Sarah: Oh just get in.
On the phone
Nat’s voicemail: Hiyo this is Nat. Can’t get to the phone at the mo so leave me a
message. Ta.
Sarah: Nat? Hedges is dead. Wait for it. There’s a connection there that leads to Ellie
Martin and friends. Josh and I are heading to see her now. I’ve got the mobile on.. keep in
touch. Bye. Did I leave anything out?
Josh: Hm? Wasn’t listening. You ready now?
Sarah: Yeah rucksacks pack ready, let’s go.
Outside
Josh: Sarah, what’s that man doing to your car?
Sarah: He’s stealing it! Hey you! Oh don’t just stand there stop him~!
Josh: Too late he’s already inside, he’ll have it hotwired in no time and .. hang on,
where’s he going now…
Sarah: I think I was wrong, I think we’ve been followed.. from the bank to Kennington
and now here. What the..
A huge explosion is heard
Sarah and Josh: Oh god..
Josh: … I… maybe he thought.. he was.. doing you a favor.
Sarah: Come on you it might be safer to take public transport
Josh: Yeah but.. but.. what about your car?
Sarah: Welcome to my world, Mr. Townsend.
At the train station
Ticket Salesman: I’m sorry Ms Samuels but the machine won’t accept your switch card.
Sarah: Oh come on I’ve been using that card every day this week. I got paid yesterday so
I know it’s in credit.
Ticket Salesman: I’m sorry.. maybe it’s the computer.
Sarah: It’ll have to be cash then.. which.. oh which I haven’t got. Typical. Where’s your
cash machine?
Ticket Salesman: Over by the time table
Sarah: Look hang on to my stuff for a mo Josh while I.. oh god where’s he gone?
Ticket Salesman: I can’t hold these tickets all night I’m afraid. This is the over nighter
and it’s filling up by the second
Sarah: Oh whatever back in a mo.
Goes to cash machine
Sarah: Right.. what do you mean pin number invalid. Oh come on. Pin number invalid.
No further attempt can be made.. what the HELL is going on?? Hedges of course. He
must have used his contacts to wipe my account out. No car, no cash. Lavinia’s money is
in that high interest account which takes three bloody working days to access and the
stuff Nat arranged for Lilah Quest won’t come through for a couple of days.
Josh: Oh mmgmf?
Sarah: Where have you been?
Josh: Mmm food chips.
Sarah: Yes well stop feeding your face and buy our tickets on that credit card Nat sorted
for you. I appear to be broke.
On the train
Josh: All right tell me where.
Sarah: What where?
Josh: You whiz me to Victoria, shove me onto this coach, where are we going?
Sarah: You know where we’re going, to the country. You know, green fields..
Josh: Ha ha. Why?
Sarah: Well how about to avoid getting mowed down or blown up?
Josh: Fair enough but where are we headed for? You know where Cloots Coombe is?
Sarah: I do. It’s an isolated little village near Glesiter, just outside of Salisbury. I looked
it up back at the flat.
Josh: And we’re going there because..
Sarah: Because Ellie asked us too. And because it ties somehow in with Hedges and his
dodgy bank.
Josh: Tell me why you were working there.
Sarah: Parted history okay? Eight months ago, the last part of my documentary series
went out. I’d been doing undercover exposes pretending to be secretaries or scientists or
whatever to expose people and places.
Josh: Yeah I remember the series, planet three promoted it a lot.
Sarah: Well my last one was with these Scottish fisheries. Halter Corp. I believed the
research into fish born diseases that were going on was being abused. I followed a trail,
got my story, we broadcast it, and then Planet three got their arses sued off them by
Halter because everything I’d researched was apparently a lie. A big lie. They were able
to prove they were all above board, and I got sacked for making false allegations. And
Planet Three got to caught up a lot of thousands. Which Halter Corp donated to cancer
charities. No one would touch me.
Josh: Doesn’t explain why you’ve spent the last few months moving, hiding, creating
false names and having Nat secretly work for you.
Sarah: Josh, I lost nearly everything. I had no bank balance, because Halter Corp had
friends in high places. Do you know what it’s like to be a nobody in today’s society? My
identity was erased, my passport is invalid. I cease to exist because someone somewhere
went to great panes to frame me. Set me up at Halter Corp and effectively ruin me. Nat
and I decided to start on my bank account and thus I began working at a small local
branch to try and find something, anything out.
Josh; You think Halter is stirring up Ellie’s stuff in Cloot’s Cloombe?
Sarah: I don’t know but it strikes me as a good time to not be in London, my poor car
proves that.
Josh: Any idea who’s behind this vendetta against you? I mean they went to a lot of
trouble to ruin your name.
Sarah: Well the only contact I had at Halter Corp, the only man who seemed actually on
the line was an odd fish.. excuse the pun. An Austrian scientist called Brandt. I think I’d
convinced him that Halter Corp was abusing his work when everything went wrong. He
was dismissed the day after program was broadcast and then vanished.
Josh: Maybe someone blew his car up.
Sarah: Well maybe. Anyway with him gone we’ve been scrambling around in the dark.
Hedge’s notes and Ellie’s remarks are the best link I’ve come up with so far.
Josh: Doesn’t the expression containing the words frying pan and fire ring any bells with
you? We’re supposed to be heading somewhere safe to lay low. Instead we’re probably
heading straight for trouble.
Sarah: Don’t be such a misery knickers Josh. How much trouble can their be in a
peaceful English village?
Track 7
In Cloot’s Coombe in the meeting hall
Squire: Thank you all for coming. Rest assured this won’t take too long. You’ll all be
back home in time for Coronation Street. As squire it is always my duty and of course my
pleasure to talk to you all. Today I’m very happy to be able to tell you all that the
promises made by our friends … are being upheld. And we should have joyous news very
soon.
Reverend: With all do respect Squire, you’ve been saying that for months now. As yet
none of us have seen our benefits of our donations. I’m not saying we don’t believe you
but I’m sure you understand our … trepidations.
Squire: Indeed Reverend. I’m glad you brought that up. Tomorrow evening of our friends
is coming down from London to show us all just how far everything has progressed. I
don’t think any of you will be disappointed. Please bear with me.. with us. You’ve all
been patient for so long I’m sure another 24 hours couldn’t hurt.
Reverend; All right Squire, but I’m sure I speak for all the villagers here when I say, I
hope you’re right.
Squire: Go home everyone and we’ll meet the same time tomorrow. Reverend! Reverend
may I speak with you.
Reverend: Of course Squire. Excuse me.. oh hello Mrs. Lawson how lovely to see you.
Yes hello Tom. How’s the leg? All right now? Good good. What the hell is going on,
Squire? I can’t keep them in line for much longer.
Squire: Then what were you doing just now? You’re supposed to support me, not chuck a
cat amongst the pigeons.
Reverend: Regardless of your role here, I’m still these people’s spiritual leader and
conscience. They’ve been questioning your plan. I have to been to back them up or
they’ll get suspicious. More suspicious. What time is your.. representative arriving
tomorrow?
Squire: In time for breakfast I hope. Best meal of the day.
In the woods
Josh: … ooh what’s that??
Sarah: How about an owl
Josh: I don’t like this. The country’s bad enough in the day time, when it’s dark it’s down
right spooky.
Sarah: It can’t be much further to the village. That chap at the station said if we took the
shortcut through the woods
Josh: That old chap at the petrol station. Misdirecting Londoners is their main
entertainment in deepest Mummerset. I bet he’s down at the pub right now with his
mates, having a good old cackle at the thought of us out here wandering around the
woods all night.
Sarah: I’m sure he’s doing no such thing. Come on Josh, cheer up. There’s bound to be a
pub at the village. Just think of it, mugs of ale, blazing fire..
Josh: Sinister inbred yokels sharpening their scythes? Don’t you know what happens to
wandering strangers in the movies?
Sarah: What?
Josh: They local yokels all turn out to be mad devil worshipers haven’t you seen the
Wicker Man? There might be a blazing fire waiting for us.. a blazing sacrifice.
Sarah: If you go on talking like that you’ll attract it. You know your trouble? Panic.
Josh: I’m not panicking.. a bit nervous maybe..
Sarah: No no, I mean panic in the real old fashioned sense. Fear of the great god Pan, the
dread of the ancient powers of the countryside. Strikes in open spaces. So stop it.
Josh: You’re not helping you know. Have you noticed the path is getting narrower? Ooh I
think we’ve wandered off the main track.
Ellie: Halt! Who goes there??
Josh: Us. Who goes there?
Ellie: Me.
Sarah: Oh well that helps, who’s me?
Ellie: Wotcher!
Josh:… Ellie. Don’t do that.
Sarah: Hello, trouble, how are you?
Ellie: Hi SJ, good to see you. It’s been a while. Cheers for coming.
Josh: So why have you dragged us down here Eleanor? Your protest going on here then?
Ellie: Not yet but there will be. As soon as the others get here. Right now there’s only
half a dozen of us.
Sarah: So what’s the problem here? As far as I know, no bypasses being built and no one
seems to be cutting the forest down. You can’t protest until they do something for you to
protest about. Can you?
Ellie: It’s the company. The sort of thing people like you used to get dragged into by
Planet Three.
Josh: The company?
Ellie: Yeah, no one’s exactly sure who they are. We did some research but we don’t
exactly have broadband down here.
Josh: Do you even have toilets?
Ellie: Yeah! We have a chemical in the clearing back through there. Why?
Josh: I’ve seen a man with his head blown off, seen Sarah’s car go up in flames.
Ellie: Hold that thought.. oh poor you.
Josh: And I’ve traipsed through the woods with you scaring me. I need a few minutes to
myself all right?
Ellie: Through there, go on. Right. How’s he shaping up? Any use?
Sarah: Oh you make me sound like an employee agency for underachievers.
Ellie: I’m serious SJ.
Sarah: DON’T call me that. He’s already picked it up!
Ellie: I am serious Sarah. You’ve got half the world’s authorities on your tail and.. you’re
getting more.. uneasy.
Sarah: Oh say it, Ellie… paranoid.. everybody else does.
Ellie: Okay but for the record I understand. We’ve both done dangerous things in our
time. And I haven’t forgot you helped me out last time I got into trouble.
Sarah: Well that’s what you get for tying yourself to freight train transporting nuclear
waste. In those days I still had the authority and reputation to help you out. In return I
asked you to keep me out of your life. In particular in light of my most recent
circumstances.
Ellie: Sorry. But this is place is really spooky. Look I know you and I aren’t ever going to
be mates S.. Sarah. But I just thought you could give us a hand here and you owe me
now, cause I sent you Josh!
Sarah: Oh I’ll reserve judgment.. no no thanks for pointing him in my direction.
Ellie: Better then Miss goody two shoes and her amazing laptop.
Sarah: Don’t knock Natalie. She helped you out on more then one occasion.
Ellie: Only cause you asked her to. She doesn’t like me, Sarah. She thinks I’m a bad
influence on you. As if, other way around more like.
Sarah: Not that I’m not enjoying this little tête-à-tête, but why exactly am I here?
Ellie: Same old same old. Small village, weird locals, dodgy Squire. Oh and the dead
bodies. Badly decomposed but carrying the day before’s news papers found in shallow
graves. Usual stuff for the likes of you.
Sarah: How did you discover all that?
Ellie: Well we think it’s the company, Réchauffer Inc. See nothing stirs up these
companies more then Maude and us tree dwellers and when they’re rattled, they make
mistakes. Which is where you come in. See we can make a nuisance of ourselves, experts
at that. Leaving the doorway open for you and bladder boy back there to get the dirt.
Sarah: Maude?
Ellie: She’s the advance guard. Setting up the base camps, scouting the lay of the land,
choosing the best trees to chain ourselves to and the place to dig my holes. There’s a lot
of preparation that goes into a good protest you know.
Josh: Gibbons on toast, lovely place you’ve got back there Eleanor. Ever thought of ..
cleaning it once in a while?
Ellie: And lost that genuine out door experience? No way!
Josh: Ugh.
Track 8
At the camp
Maude: More tea Miss Smith?
Sarah: Thank you miss uh..
Maude: Fletcher, Maureen Fletcher, oh please call me Maude. Everyone does.
Sarah: I’m Sarah, and this is Josh.
Maude: More tea for you Josh?
Josh: Yeah thanks.
Maude: You Ellie?
Ellie: Oh I’m fine thanks Maude
Maude: Now then where was I?
Sarah: You were telling us how you got involved in the protest movement.
Maude: I started off at Portsmouth. That dreadful export of live lands business. But you
know I quite enjoyed all the excitement.
Ellie: She got nicked for poking a policeman with her parasol.
Maude: So when my dear brother the accountant died, leaving me with a modest
inheritance, I decided to devote myself to the movement full time.
Josh: I must say you’re not quite what I expected.
Maude: You expected some disheveled wild haired ergot no doubt?
Josh: Well… yeah actually
Maude: The trouble with most protestors is although their hearts are in the right place..
Josh: Their heads aren’t?
Maude: They don’t always appreciate the importance of planning you see. Planning,
method and preparation.
Ellie: Maude gets us all organized
Sarah: And you’re organizing a protest down here?
Maude: I most certainly am.
Josh: What are the authorities up to then?
Maude: Not the authorities as such. Just this company, Réchauffer Inc. Officially we’re
complaining because we think the chemicals they’re creating are destroying the forest.
Josh: Your toilet’s already doing that.
Sarah: .. Josh. Well Maude, is it? Réchauffer Inc I mean?
Maude: No idea darling. As far as we can ascertain, they’re doing nothing. Nothing at all.
Sarah: Oh.. I see.
Josh: Hang on, I don’t. If these French knots aren’t harming your precious rabbits and
firs, why’ve you got this place set up at all?
Sarah: Distraction, Josh. To give us a chance to investigate Réchauffer
Josh: Why? She just said there’s no spillage.
Sarah: Precisely. A company like that should be creating some sort of waste, no matter
how small.
Maude: Exactly Sarah. Oh I may call you Sarah, mayn’t I?
Sarah: Of course.
Maude: And then there are the bodies.
Josh: … Bodies?? Oh this gets better.
Sarah: Shh. Now look, what pretext are you using so that I’ve got a starting point.
Maude: We’re saying that the company’s effluence will spread through these woods.
Some of the most ancient in Britain. And it will cut off Cloots Coombe. A village of great
historical significance. The Well of St Caudill alone..
Sarah: That’s a sacred well?
Maude: It used to be a shrine. With healing powers. Until the new squire forbade all
public access. The well stands on his land
Sarah: Are you getting much support?
Maude: That’s the astonishing thing, none what so ever. Usually at least some of the local
people are with us. Often they’re the ones that start the protest.
Josh: But not here.
Maude: I went to see the new squire and he was most discouraging. He told me to clear
off and mind me own business.
Sarah: What about the villagers?
Maude: They wouldn’t even talk to me. I got the impression that they were all frightened
of the squire.
Josh: What’s he like this new squire?
Ellie: Oh he’s very charming on the outside but there’s something about him..
Sarah: Where did he squire from?
Ellie: See nobody really knows! The manor house was derelict for years! Then suddenly
he turned up with apparently unlimited funds, bought the place, renovated it and more or
less took over the village.
Maude: We think Réchauffer paid for it and set him up here.
Sarah: What about the ministry of defense?
Maude: Oh we’re about 8 or 9 miles from Salisbury plain here but this isn’t requisitioned
MOD land. Are you thinking Réchauffer might be funded by them?
Sarah: Well it’s just a possibility.
Maude: No, in fact there’s a pledge framed in the village hall from about eighteen years
ago. The MOD it seemed guaranteed never to go within four miles of the village. I think
this lot protested about something in the mid 80s and won a promise from the
government.
Ellie: Of course and the government always keeps it’s promises.
Maude: Yes but it was a high profile thing. Made the news and everything. The MOD
wouldn’t risk the publicity. We’re up against big business here, Sarah not the
government.
Sarah: It’s interesting. How many of you are down here?
Maude: Ellie, myself, Jenny and Toby. We’re the advanced guard.
Josh: Where are the others now then?
Maude: It’s a bit worrying. Jenny went into the village this evening. We heard the squire
had called a meeting. She said she’d get some of those villagers to listen if she had to
shake them! Oh Jenny’s very militant.
Ellie: She got done for biting a copper’s ear last protest.
Josh: Ugh sounds a real charmer.
Maude: She’s a little impulsive. The thing is, she didn’t come back. Toby went to look
for her and he hasn’t come back either.
Track 9
At the well
Reverend: Squire? You rang me?
Squire: Look. By the well.
Reverend: Who.. who was she?
Squire: Not one of your flock, Vicar?
Reverend: Never seen her before. She could be one of the people from the protest. They
consider this well as the center piece for their campaign.
Squire: Looks like the same as the others. Body’s already decomposing.
Reverend: What causes this?
Squire: I really couldn’t say
Reverend: Really? Somehow I don’t believe you squire. I think I shall be asking some
important questions of your .. representative tomorrow.
Squire: You really shouldn’t do that Vicar.
Reverend: Are you threatening me?
Squire: Am I threatening you? Yes. Yes I rather think I am.
At the camp
Sarah: Oh bacon and eggs and tea in the morning. Nothing better.
Maude: Josh! Sarah! Come and get your breakfast.
Josh: I must say, you protesters do yourselves well.
Maude: Planning and preparation young man. No need to be cold and hungry just
because you’re anti-establishment. Did you sleep well?
Sarah: Well I did, took me back to my days in the Girl Guides. It was very kind of you to
put us up.
Maude: Oh I always keep a few spare sleeping bags and tents in hand. And what about
you Josh?
Josh: Uh..
Sarah: I think Josh was probably awake half the night, listening for tigers sniffing round
his tent.
Josh: .. I’m a city boy. The country makes me nervous.
Maude: There’s nothing very much to harm you out here in the English country side
young man. Just your fellow humans you have to be wary of.
Josh: Could be right there.
Sarah: Is there any news about your missing friends?
Maude: I’m afraid not. Toby came back about an hour after you went to bed. He was
exhausted but hadn’t found Jenny. He and Ellie were up the rest of the night searching
the woods for her. They’re asleep now but they’ll start again when they’ve had a few
hours sleep.
Josh: What if she doesn’t turn up? You’ll have to go to the police won’t you?
Maude: To be honest, I’m very reluctant. If I contact the police, they’re going to want to
go into what we’re doing here. Our protest and your investigation will be over before it’s
begun.
Sarah: Yes but even so.
Maude: Oh rest assured Jenny’s safety comes first. I’ll go to the police if I have to but
only after we’ve done everything we can to find her ourselves. There maybe some
perfectly simple explanation about her disappearance.
Josh: Such as..
Maude: She might have just decided to clear off?
Sarah: Yeah but why would she do that?
Josh: Yeah if she’s a dead keen protestor like you say why would she just give up?
Maude: Jenny’s a very impatient girl. If she got no where with the villagers yesterday,
she might have decided they didn’t deserve our help and left them to their fate.
Sarah: Without saying goodbye to you and the others?
Maude: It’s possible.
Josh: Yeah but it’s not very likely is it?
Maude: It’s kind of you both to take such an interest but I am the leader of this protest
and the safety of its members is my concern, not yours.
Josh: Have it your own way but I still think..
Sarah: Well maybe we can.. You say Ellie and Toby are going to go search in the woods.
Well we wouldn’t be much use at that. But we’re planning on going to the village this
morning. But we could search for her there.
Maude: That would be very kind of you.
Sarah: Better tell us what she looks like
Maude: Oh you can’t miss our Jenny. Tall and thin with masses of frizzy black hair. Oh
very pretty in her way but a bit wild looking.
Josh: She sounds easy to spot.
Maude: I’m sure you’ll find her . Have some more tea both of you and when you’re both
ready, I’ll direct you to the village.
Sarah: Bless you Maude. Josh stay here and help Maude will you. I need to make a call. I
need your phone again.
Josh: Why not? You get more use out of it then I do. Here you go.
At the village
Harris: I don’t like it squire.
Squire: My dear Mister Harris calm yourself.
Harris: Well you can’t go tossing people to that.. that.. thing, as if it was a pet crocodile.
It’s too dangerous. That girl will be missed soon and um.
Squire: Come now Mr. Harris, if you’d seen the girl you wouldn’t mind. Scruffy little
piece, who’s going to miss her?
Harris: Her scruffy fellow protestors, that’s who.
Squire: I doubt it and in any case what can they do about it?
Harris: They can go to the police.
Squire: When they’re planning illegal activities themselves? And even if they did, I don’t
see the police being very concerned.
Harris: Are you mad? Of course they’d be concerned. They have to be.
Squire: The police, my dear Mr. Harris are the guardians of society. And society just
doesn’t care about people like that girl.
Harris: Must I remind you that Réchauffer financed your purchase of this village and
your new found status as it’s squire.
Squire: With it’s ill gotten gains from your banking fraud.
Harris: To provide a secret and secure base for our future activities. We did not intend to
subsidize your… dangerous side lines.
Squire: Rubbish Harris. This sideline as you call it is an enormous bonus for Réchauffer
Inc. The entity in the well is a source of power. Think of it Mr. Harris. A primordial
power, allied to the ultimate in modern technology. We shall be invincible.
Harris: We shall be arrested unless you learn a little discretion. The last thing the CEO
wants is unwelcome publicity at this point.
Squire: I can handle the CEO.
Harris: If that thing in the well gets out of control
Squire: I can handle that too. Without regular food it’s powers wane. If necessary I can
starve it into submission.
Harris: I take it, it doesn’t actually eat them.
Squire: Not in the sense you mean. Not in the physical body, it devours the life force. The
spirit. The chic as our oriental friends say. Leaves them decaying and almost
unrecognizable.
Harris: And what do you hope to gain from all this?
Squire: The being in the well has immense powers which I.. I mean we can harness. I can
control the minds of these villagers by promising them that Réchauffer Inc is bringing
them their wishes come true. That belief holds them back from enquiring too deeply.
Harris: I gathered from your last report that the local reverend is in on this. Now I’m not
sure that’s wise.
Squire: At the moment I need him to keep his flock on my side. But before too long he’ll
get a face to face meeting with our little pet.
Harris: And what do you think you’re getting out of this?
Squire: Power. You and our precious CEO will serve me, Mr. Harris. More you will
worship as a benefactor. Someone who can propel our cause into the stratosphere and
guarantee us anything we want.
Harris: I see. Hm. Marvelous. I’m so glad you’re on our side.
Squire: Indeed Mr. Harris, you should be.
Track 10
At the camp approaching the village
Josh: The trouble with dear old Maude is that she doesn’t want to admit that there’s
anything sinister about that girl’s disappearance.
Sarah: Well maybe there isn’t.
Josh: You don’t believe that SJ.
Sarah: Oh stop calling me.. what’s the use?
Josh: I mean Ellie got you here. She’s not prone to flights of fancy. No, there’s something
definitely going on and Maude doesn’t want anything to endanger her precious protest.
Sarah: There’s a will of iron in that little old lady. She’s got the tunnel vision of a true
leader. Individuals must be sacrificed for the good of the cause.
Josh: I don’t see her going to the police, whatever she says.
Sarah: And Maude’s like us really, she doesn’t do police. I don’t blame her. And to be
fair, we know something she doesn’t.
Josh: That this place has something to do with whoever’s got a vendetta against you.
Sarah: Exactly. And if this girl found out something she shouldn’t..
Josh: Right. You hope to.
Sarah: She may not be as lucky as we will be.
Josh: Well here we are. We’d better start searching.
Sarah: The picturesque little village of Cloots Coombe, as dozy as the morning sunshine.
Quant cottages with their flowering gardens, small little houses, all sheltering under the
protection of the Manor House on the hill. Looks like an advertisement for the English
travel board. Oh. Parish notices. Meetings at the town all, funeral at the church. Musical
recital at the squire’s manor. Now that’s odd.
Josh: You’re telling me. English villages are always odd. Where do we start?
Sarah: Oh let’s start with the local Vicar. Always a good start. Hello there!
Reverend: Oh! Good morning. Welcome to Cloots Coombe.
Sarah: Ah sorry to bother you
Reverend: No bother at all. How can I help you?
Sarah: We were looking for a friend of ours called Jenny
Josh: Tall girl with lots of black hair.
Reverend: Sorry, not seen her. If I do, I’ll tell her you’re looking. Good day.
Sarah: Hang on come back..
Josh: That was a great start.
Sarah: Wasn’t it? Nevermind. We journalists in hiding are used to rejection. Let’s try the
next cottage.
At the manor house
Squire: Yes Vicar what is it?
Reverend: There are two strangers in the village, squire. Asking after the girl who we..
saw at the well last night.
Squire: Indeed. What do they look like?
Reverend: Stocky, dark haired man, in his twenties. Looks like one of the protestors with
his long hair. And an attractive woman with him.
Squire: Fascinating. Thank you Vicar, off you go.
Reverend: Wait squire, this is worrying. What do these people want? What if they go to
the papers? What if..
Harris: What indeed.. it’s a good question squire.
Reverend: Who are on earth are you?
Squire: Vicar may I introduce Mr. Harris from the Company? He’s here to see that the
Réchauffer part of the business is still functioning well. Mr. Harris, Reverend Gosforth.
Harris: So what about these two strangers, what do you propose we do about them.
Squire: Wait for them to come to us of course. They’ll get no where anywhere else in the
village.
Harris: If they come you’ll be discreet. Remember what I said about unwelcome
publicity. If the woman is who I think she is, she will need careful handling.
Squire: I shall be discretion itself.
Reverend: What about me?
Squire: Go back to your parishioners, Vicar. Tonight at the meeting they will get what
they’ve been waiting for.
Harris: No, stay here Vicar. If Miss Smith does venture here, people like you represent
what she sees as good in a village like this.
Reverend: Well I’m not sure.
Squire: I think it’s an excellent idea.
Around the village people keep closing the door on Josh and Sarah
Josh: I just wondered if you’d .. this is hopeless. We’re just wasting our time.
Sarah: This is the most tight lipped community I have ever encountered. For people who
apparently stood up to the ministry of defense, they seem wetter then a tadpoles now.
Josh: So what do we do now?
Sarah: Josh, today’s Saturday isn’t it?
Josh: Well duh I think so.
Sarah: Well do you notice anything strange.
Josh: Nope, bar the villagers of the damned.
Sarah: You’re not far off, Joshua, you’re not far off at all.
Josh: Well are you going to tell me?
Sarah: You think about it. Now there’s only one place left to go.
Josh: The manor house?
Sarah: The manor house.
Josh: Into the lion’s den.
Sarah: Not necessarily
Josh: Come on Sarah it’s a suicide mission.
Sarah: No I don’t think so. Réchauffer Inc won’t want any bad publicity. If I make it
clear that lots of people know where we are.
Josh: Which they don’t.
Sarah: No, but THEY don’t know that.
Josh: So what do you hope to get out of it?
Sarah: Maybe I can bluff them into giving something away. This is how this business
works Josh. One thing leads to another you can’t make a plan you just have to improvise.
At the camp
Ellie: Well?
Maude: No sign of them.
Ellie: Nor Jenny. Toby’s on a bus back to Amesbury, seeing if she’s there.
Maude: Do you want to go after Sarah and Josh then?
Ellie: Yes and no. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean she’s more experienced at dealing
with this then I am.
Maude: Be honest with me, Ellie. Are we in danger here?
Ellie: Worried Maude? That’s not like you.
Maude: Oh come on Ellie. We’ve done protests like this for ages but there’s something ..
something wrong here. I’m worried about Jenny and I’m worried about the rest of us.
Should I cancel the plan to bring the others here down from the Stonehenge bypass.
They’d probably be doing more good staying put.
Ellie: And it’d be safer. Yeah Maude, cancel this one. Let’s hope Toby finds Jenny. We
can get out of this place. I’m going to call Josh and let him know. Crap reception for the
mobile though.
At the manor house
Squire: Miss Smith how kind of you to drop in and see us. We get so little company here.
What happened to your companion?
Sarah: He went back to the protest camp. He felt we were wasting our time here.
Squire: May I introduce the Vicar. Reverend Alistair Gosforth.
Sarah: We met earlier.
Reverend: Yes. Sorry. You caught me at a bad time.
Sarah: You were keen to get here before me, I imagine.
Reverend: Yes well I..
Squire: Can I offer you morning tea Miss Smith?
Sarah: Oh yes thank you that would be nice. So you know who I am.
Squire: Of course I do, I’m the squire, I know everything everything that goes on here,
that’s my job.
Sarah: Tell me squire, why are you here? I mean 6 months ago this place didn’t have a
squire and now you’re settled here in this rather splendid here as if your family had been
serving here for generations. And yet only 3 months back this place derelict.
Squire: You have been doing your homework Miss Smith. Still you know what they say.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
Sarah: Learning actually.
Squire: I’m sorry?
Sarah: Oh it’s one of those quotations everyone always gets wrong. A little learning is a
dangerous thing.
Squire: I’m obliged to you.
Sarah: I do have a couple more questions.
Squire: Fire away.
Reverend: Really I think I should go..
Squire: Oh stay put Vicar, how often do we get any intelligent conversation around here?
Miss Smith?
Sarah: This missing girl, Jenny.
Squire: I really can’t help you. She came, she harangued us, she went off in a huff.
Sarah: All right, we’ll leave that for now. St. Caudill’s well.
Squire: There I must correct you. The correct title is Old Clootie’s well. Old Cloot as you
know is another name for the devil.
Sarah: I gather it used to be a shrine.
Squire: It was always a place of power. The Christian church took it over as it did to so
many other pagan places and festivals. And made it a shrine to the dubious St. Caudill.
But the power was still there. Biding it’s time.
Sarah: And now it’s time has come?
Squire: It’s time and mine Miss Smith.
Reverend: I rather think I aught to be.
Squire: Why waste time in such abstract discussions, you must come and see the shrine
miss Smith. Come and visit Old Clootie’s well and experience it’s reality for yourself
once you do that everything will be clear. You will have no more questions.
Sarah: Very well.
Reverend: I really don’t think it’s a good idea.
Squire: It’s an excellent idea. In fact I insist, come along Miss Smith, you too Vicar.
At the camp
Ellie: I can’t get through to Josh. He’s switched his mobile off. He always does that,
honestly I dunno why he has one.
Maude: Maybe he doesn’t want to be disturbed. Oh those wretched things annoy me.
Always going off when you don’t want them to. See?
Ellie: Yeah?
Nat: Is that you Eleanor?
Ellie: Well who else is it likely to be, Natalie?
Nat: Where’s Sarah?
Ellie: We dunno, off with Josh exploring the village.
Nat: Listen Ellie this is important, Sarah asked me to look Cloote’s Coombe up on the
net. Something to do with the MOD swearing off the area but they’ve seem to be almost
avoiding it these days.
Ellie: And..
Nat: 18 years ago the MOD was experimenting with chemical warfare, radiation the
whole works. They accidentally damaged the local area by leakage. Reparations were
made but there were two things that were important. Firstly the Réchauffer Inc building is
actually the old MOD research base that they could link to.
Ellie: And secondly?
Nat: How old are the villagers Ellie?
Ellie: Most of them are way past mid 80s down to …well to.. oh shit.
Track 11
At the well
Squire: There you are Miss Smith, Old Clootie’s Well. One of the most powerful places
in the world.
Sarah: Not much to look at is it? A well with a wall around it? Some kind of cover that’s
been thrown aside. Everything’s crumbling and over grown.
Squire: Don’t be mislead by appearances. Once in pagan times, people once believed that
this country side was ruled by a god. A dark and powerful god demanding blood sacrifice
and then came centuries of neglect. Such things were forgotten. And then a few years
ago, something happened here that made them wonder if it was still there.
Sarah: The ministry of defense did something didn’t they? Hence the promise they made
and that plaque in the village hall
Reverend: I have to confess Miss Smith this is making me uncomfortable. Squire we
should stop this before it gets out of hand.
Sarah: You were here then Mr. Gosforth, what happened?
Reverend: It was awful. You see the Réchauffer building there through the trees behind
the church. That’s where the ministry built their research labs. This well is and the end of
a long tunnel leading back inside the building. They let seep out through the tunnel into
the well.
Squire: And at the time, being next to the church this well was used by May Day and
other events. You don’t have a flag pole or a centaur or such things here you see.
Reverend: So this was the village center piece but what was oozing from the base
effected us all. We became… we became..
Sarah: Sterile, yes. I noticed earlier, It’s a Saturday and there are no children playing and
on your parish notice board but no mention of a school building which is usually doing
something for the community.
Squire: So Réchauffer made them a promise. We’ve been taking DNA samples and at the
re-developed base over there we started cloning them, creating for them .. hehe. A new
generation of children.
Sarah: That’s awfully decent of Réchauffer. A private company. What’s in it for them I
wonder. Oh wait, I think I know. You aren’t interested in creating new children for
desperate villagers are you?
Squire: No! The children are just an experiment. Imagine what we could do if we could
grow an army, grow troops that were perfect specimens. Casualties would be culpable.
No family to write letters home to, no pay out’s by the government. It’s perfect.
Reverend: It’s obscene!
Sarah: But you went along with it!
Reverend: I had to! The company has.. information on me.
Squire: The church today Miss Smith, what can you do?
Sarah: So what went wrong?
Squire: The experiments failed, we kept taking DNA and trying again.
Sarah: Raising false hopes in the villagers.
Squire: Oh probably. All that happened we created a mutant. A creature that lives off the
life force of the DNA it carries. Marvelous animal. Brutal, unthinking and savage. Better
then any human troops. An army of such genetic trash would be unstoppable.
Sarah: How would it be of any use?
Squire: A problem we were up against until we discovered that by attaching various
micro circuitry to it’s DNA it would seek out all life, not just that containing it’s own
genome. Your friend from the protest camp was it’s latest victim. It’s down there in the
tunnel Miss Smith, waiting for you. Approach the well Ms. Smith, it is time for you to
investigate the newest scientific breakthrough.
Josh: Oh no you don’t! Sarah, get back.
Squire: Take a step back my young friend and Ms. Smith goes down.
Sarah: If I’m going down anyways..
Reverenced: No! Don’t do this! It’s madness!
Squire: Be silent Vicar. Unless you wish to join them. You boy, approach the well.
Sarah: No Josh, get back, go to Ellie tell her what’s going on. Warn everyone!
Squire: He’s nearly here Ms Smith. Ready to absolve you. I’m sure it’ll be an interesting
experiment.
Josh: In about one minute matey, you’re goin to see something far more interesting.
Squire; What are you..
There’s a loud explosion and fire
Reverend: Réchauffer base!
Squire: What have you done??
Josh: What I’m best at! Arson!
Sarah: Josh get back from the well!
Josh: Why?
Sarah: Because the well is attached to a tunnel leading to the base so.. the chemicals and
god knows what else is down there will act as a wind tunnel for the fire!
Squire: No! No! What have you done boy??
Sarah: Get back!
Squire: My baby!
The Squire screams and throws himself in
Reverend: The well’s burnt itself out.
Sarah: The chemicals in the tunnel have been consumed there’s nothing now tot keep the
fire burning.
Josh: I hope someone called the fire brigade. I did a good job on that building.
Sarah: .. you ring them. Use your mobile.
Josh: Oh right. Better switch it on then.
Sarah: …. Josh! You had it switched off?? Again??
Josh: Oh hang on. Yep.
Ellie: At bloody last! Josh, Nat rang. Things to tell you. Oh my god.
Josh: What?
Ellie: Through the trees! We can see something is on fire!
Josh: Oh that. Oh don’t worry about that. I just saved the day.
Track 12
At the manor house
Harris: Well what happened?
Reverend: The Townsend boy did our work for us actually. The experiment, just as I told
you, Mr. Harris was just no longer stable.
Harris: A shame. It was a good idea in principal. The CEO thought it had a good chance
of making us a great deal of capital. And the squire?
Reverend: Gone the same way as the creature.
Harris: How terribly convenient. Réchauffer went bankrupt this morning by the way. We
thought it better to liquidate our assets there then run the risk of an investigation. An
acceptable loss.
Reverend: What about me? The squire never knew who I really was. Neither do any of
the villagers.
Harris: Well what do you want to do.
Reverend: I quite like it here. And it might be useful to have one of us close to Salisbury
plain. And with their dreams of a new generation gone, this place could use a Vicar.
Harris: Fine. Enjoy your retirement. I’ll be in touch Gosforth. Oh and uh, well done.
Reverend: Thank you sir.
Hangs up. There’s a knock at the door
Sarah: Reverend..
Reverend: Miss Smith, good morning. I’ve been on the phone with the Bishop. I’ve been
asked to stay on. Help the parishioners through this terrible terrible trauma.
Sarah: How could you go along with him? The squire was responsible for so much evil.
Reverend: I’m a weak man, Ms. Smith. And as I said he had…
Sarah: Dirt on you. But with the squire gone, I don’t suppose no one else knows your past
do they?
Reverend: The fact that you do, Miss Smith, makes sure that I will always work hard for
my flock in the future.
Sarah: Well I’m not clear on moral ambiguity Vicar, but thanks to the likes of
Réchauffer, I’m not up to take you to task. No one would believe me. I assume you’ve
always been to the manor house and disposed of the incriminating evidence?
Reverend: I… did so last night actually.
Sarah: Good bye Vicar. I sincerely hope we never meet again.
Reverend: Goodbye Miss Smith, goodbye.
At the camp
Josh: Well?
Sarah: Let’s get away from here Josh, this place makes me feel sick.
Josh: So where does this leave us?
Sarah: On our way home I hope. Réchauffer, or the company behind them is still after me
and probably you too I suspect. You in for the long haul?
Josh: We’re a team, SJ. I’ve not had that feeling before. Yeah. I’m in for the long haul.
Sarah: Two things josh.
Josh: I know I know, no more SJ.
Sarah: Actually I was going to say thank you for everything you’ve done these last few
days. And secondly.
Josh: Yep?
Sarah: Keep your bloody mobile phone on in future. Okay?