Study Guide
The Middle of Everywhere
Name_________________________
Date__________________________
Foreword (ix-xiii)
1. Comment on this passage from the “Foreword” to Mary Pipher’s book. What is
the implication of the September 11 attack and the plight of the refugee in this
country? On p. xii Mary Pipher writes
All over our country people have an impulse to help, to make our country
safer and stronger. One of the best ways to help is to befriend newcomers. As
we welcome refugees and teach them about us, we learn about them, and we
develop wiser and nuanced views of our world. This book encourages
Americans to become involved with newcomers and offer many ideas about
how to do that.
After September 11, we were all refugees from what was once our America.
We have been exiled from a country that felt safe and calm and now we live in
a new country filled with fear. We can learn from the refugees among us how
to deal with our fears and sorrows. Our newcomers have experienced panic,
loss, disruption, and vulnerability. They have learned to cope with
catastrophes, and they can teach us to survive these things. They can help us
live in a world of broken hearts.
Prelude: Ellis Island (xv-xix)
1. What do you see as the reason for the reflection at Ellis Island from the prelude?
2. What conclusion can you as the reader make from the following quotation on
p. xvii:
“I’m not going to be afraid of the gates of hell, I’ve been to Ellis Island.”
Part One: Hidden In Plain Sight (1-82)
Chapter 1: Cultural Collisions on the Great Plains (3-23)
1. Reflect on Mary Pipher’s observations about living in Nebraska (pp. 4-6) with
what began to happen in 1990 (p. 6, ¶ 2).
2. On p. 10, ¶2, Mary Pipher indicates that Lincoln is “becoming more like
everywhere else.” Explain what you think she means. How does this Thomas
Friedman’s quotation from his book The Lexus and the Olive Tree add to Mary
Pipher’s observation: “There are two ways to make a person homeless—destroy
his home or make his home look like everyone else’s.”
3. Working with refugees has taught Mary Pipher to “see my country with fresh clear
eyes.” She also notes that we all “see the world through [our] own cultural lens.”
Explain what she—and we—observe about how we see the world around us.
4. Comment on Garrison Keillor’s quotation: “If we knew the stories of refugees,
they would break our hearts.”
5. On p. 15, line 2, Mary Pipher writes that she wrote “these stories to help others.”
In what way do you think she wants to help us, the readers of her stories?
6. Mary Pipher admits she had to overcome a certain amount of anxiety when she
first met a Sudanese family (p. 15, ¶ 1). What were some of her concerns and
would any one of us have these same anxieties?
7. On page 16, ¶ 5, the author mentions the following seven situations that
overwhelmed many refugees: language, finances, health, housing, jobs, schools,
and the Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS); notice how many times
during the rest of the book where these challenges will be at the forefront of
refugees’ concerns.
8. Explain some of Mary Pipher’s challenges dealing with foreigners (pp. 15-17).
9. On page 18, ¶ 2, the author indicates one of her goals in the book. What is it?
10. How does the United Nations define refugee (p. 18, ¶3).
11. The final sentence on p. 19 begins with “My hope . . . .” Again on p. 19, the final
sentence of the first paragraph begin with “My hope . . . .” Summarize the hopes
the author has here.
12. Notice the author’s remarks about suffering in the final paragraph on p. 21. Can
you validate the statement from personal experience?
13. Another survival strategy was mention in paragraph 1 on p. 22. What was it?
Explain and discuss.
14. Discuss the term unfurling as used by paleontologist Teilhard de Chardin and how
it relates to the plight of the refugee.
Chapter 2: The Beautiful Laughing Sisters (24-63)
1. This chapter is about the author’s challenge as a “cultural broker” for a family
from Pakistan, especially the two sisters Shireen and Meena. Mary Pipher contends
that the best way to understand the refugee situation is to [?]. Why?
2. Briefly discuss and comment on the family’s situation in Baghdad and what they
had to endure; why were they in this situation?
3. What had happened as a result of all of their moving around (p. 27, ¶ 1)?
4. In the last paragraph on p. 27 we learn something about how foreigners were
treated by police. Explain why refugees would become very suspect about
authority, especially the police.
5. What did the family do to get out of the border town of Quetta. Where did they go?
How long did they spend there? Then where did they go?
6. Discuss their first impressions of Lincoln,
7. As a “cultural broker” what was Mary Pipher’s job. Explain.
8. On page 35, ¶ 1, we learn one of the reasons these immigrants were worried about
finances. What were they expected to pay back?
9. On p. 55, the author ends her stories about with the Pakistani family. We have
shared a number of events with these families, from driving lessons to a holiday
reunions, Select one or two of the vignettes, and discuss them in terms of what
they—and we—learn as we read about the complexities of learning to adjust to a
new country.
10. What do you think the author means when she says ( p. 57,¶ 2) that “the challenges
of the United States can be as rough as the challenges of Sudan or Afghanistan.”
11. Discuss something you’ve learned for the first time about refugees after reading
“Arrival Stories” and “First Big Shocks” (pp. 57-63).
Chapter 3: Into the Heart of the Heartland (64-82)
1. Discuss Linh’s (the Vietnamese immigrant) story from pp. 64-68.
2. Look over the attributes of resilience on pp. 69-70. We see that these are good
attributes for refugees; discuss these characteristics as important attributes for a
successful American life for anyone.
3. Why does the government now recommend settling immigrants with others from
the same country?
4. Discuss both the American and refugee work ethic (p. 72, ¶ 3).
5. Discuss our culture’s preoccupation with time. Why it is so hard for refugees to
adapt to our concept ands regard for time?
6. On the bottom of p. 75, Mary Pipher points out an interesting fact about learning
English. Also, discuss the frustration many immigrants have with our language.
7. Discuss the three stages refugees are likely to experience once they have relocated;
also discuss the four reactions refugee families experience.
8. Apply what you learned from p. 78, ¶ 2 to the story of Kareem and Mirzana on pp.
79-82.
Chapter 4: All that Glitters (83-109)
1.
In light of Zena’s situation, comment on her life and what she perceives as
important. Also, comment on the two paragraphs (p. 86, ¶ 2-3).
2.
Comment on p. 87, ¶ 1.
3.
Discuss the role of money in many refugee countries.
4.
Mary Pipher points out two main ways refugees are educated (pp. 88-89). Discuss
them.
5.
Give some examples of “cultural brokers”? Who are the most important cultural
brokers in a society?
6.
What do you see as the importance of being a “cultural broker”?
7. Even though the author points out the pitfalls of refugees working in this country,
she also gives examples of some of the bright spots. Who is Dave? How does he
help refugees?
8. When Mary Pipher discusses the health care problems refugees have, she
indicates that children do not necessarily make good translators. Why? (p. 101,
¶2).
9. Discuss the nightmare immigrants can experience with the INS (pp. 106-107).
What does the story about Sadia and the INS indicate about American
bureaucracies?
Chapter 5: Children of Hope, Children of Tears (113-160)
1. Comment on the statement from p. 114: In spite of their disadvantages, refugees
have lower drop-out rates and better grades than native-born kids.
2. In this chapter the author takes the reader to Sycamore School with her as she
observes 10 (from a class of 25) elementary students on 13 different days. Why
did she select the 10 students she did?
3. The author uses the sycamore tree as a symbol throughout this chapter. A symbol
of what?
4. Follow and track the progress of one or two of the students through the 13 days.
Why did you select the students you did.
5. Throughout the 13 days, pick out one or two of the days that you found
particularly poignant and discuss them.
6. By the end of the chapter, the author notes that some progress has been made with
these students. Discuss some of the progresses (or lack) you noticed with the
students you tracked.
Chapter 6: Teenagers—Mohammed Meets Madonna (161-195)
1. At the beginning of Chapter 6, Mary Pipher tells us the riveting story of Liem and
Anton. Notice that each has a unique story which provides a good introduction to
this chapter.
2. On page 166, ¶3 what does the author note about the difference in cultural values
regarding the adults?
3. There seems to be a very apparent problem when children are the sole source of
knowledge for their parents. We see this discussed on p. 167. What are some of
pitfalls of this situation?
4. On page 168, ¶4, we learn of a good way to engage the interest of a refugee. What
is it?
5. Why do some refugee parents elect to return to their countries of origin? (p. 171,
¶2)?
6. There are some valuable facts from the National Longitudinal Study of
Adolescent Health (172). Discuss some of their findings. What do these findings
suggest about American culture?
7. Why does Mary Pipher give us a glimpse of only four days of her experience at
the high school?
8. Follow and track one of the 12 students observed in the high school class. In what
ways is the student better/worse at the end of the chapter than at the beginning?
Explain.
Chapter 7: Young Adults–“Is There a Marriage Broker in Lincoln?” (196-215)
1. Discuss Jasminka’s comment, “I would like to remember nothing.” (198)
2. What was Jasminka’s reaction to the American school system?
3. Why wouldn’t Jasminka marry an American?
4. Discuss some of the problems that make adult refugees so vulnerable when they
get to this country? (200-205)
5. The reader gets a glimpse of the life of Vietnamese girl Thiep (205-208). Why did
she think she belonged to neither culture. Explain and discuss.
6. It was interesting to track the thoughts of the three Iraqui men about American
culture and mores. Comment on the things the gentlemen did not like about
America.
Chapter 8: Family—“A Bundle of Sticks Cannot Be Broken” (216-243)
1. In Chapter 8, Mary Pipher helps with a class that teaches English to parents of
ELL (English as a Learned Language. She deals with five women throughout the
chapter. What seems to be some of the major concerns these foreign women have
in adjusting to America.
2. What does the author mean when she talks about the problems of “internal culture
war”? (224)
3. What does Michael White mean when he talks about people “being recruited into
prejudice”? (226)
4. From “Customs and Practices Across Cultures,” (226-229) what do you see as the
most unusual difference between our cultures and some of the other cultures
mentioned.
5. Name a couple of the most difficult parts of a refugee family adjusting ti life in
America. (229-231)
6. Summarize the art projects on pp. 240-242.
7. Comment on the title of Chapter 8.
Chapter 9: African Stories (247-274)
1. Chapter 9 relates the story of four refugees from Sudan. Briefly comment on their
story before arriving in Lincoln.
2. Briefly characterize the four young refugees from Sudan (250-251).
3. At first Jim and Mary Pipher thought the four Sudanese needed family therapists;
later the Piphers decided the Sudanese needed cultural brokers. Explain.
4. The Piphers learned a lesson about how the Sudanese regarded time. Explain.
How does it differ from our conception of time?
5. The author writes about school (258), outings (260), birthdays (262), and then
adds a postscript (266). Which one of these sub-chapters most intrigued you?
Comment.
6. Mary Pipher concludes the chapter with the story of Mohamed and Bintu.
Comment on their misfortune in Sierra Leone. Why do you suppose the author
calls them “my teachers” at the end of the chapter.
Chapter 10: Healing in all Times and Places (275-304)
1. In this chapter Mary Pipher addresses the subject of healing and notes that some
people’s suffering tempers them “into steel.” She examines how this happens.
2. What is the Thrive Project? Was the Thrive Project successful: why or why not?
3. Comment on the Bosnian mentor.
4. Mary Pipher notes on pp. 278-279: “As the group proceeded, I found myself
wondering why had I assumed that our system was better.” Comment.
5. According to the author, why won’t refugess seek therapy?
6. How were Margaret Meade’s findings about the administrating of IQ tests to
foreigners treated?
7. Comment on these two sayings: “ A wound must be washed, cleaned to heal” and
“A wound will only heal if it left alone.”
8. Discuss some of the common reactions to loss that the author notes on pp, 282285.
9. The authors lists 12 attributes of resilience: discuss and comment on the
advantages of possessing or learning to possess these attributes.
10. Comment and discuss on some of the cross-cultural healing mentioned on pp.
292-295.
11. The author talks about safe space, healing relationships, and healing stories as
ways to deal with the healing process. How does the healing work using these
procedures?
12. What were the ways Viktor Frankel and Nelson Mandela helped heal themselves
when they were imprisoned?
Chapter 11: Home—A Global Positioning System for Identity (305-324)
1. In Chapter 11, the author deals with what she calls being “quartered in a chain
hotel in a global village.” What does that mean? (p. 307)
2. What nickname does Mary Pipher give Chia? Why?
3. What transformed Chia into the “Strong Lady”? Give specific examples.
4. What can go wrong when there are too many choices available? (316-318)
5. Comment on the paragraph beginning with, “ To survive in this new . . . .” (319)
until the end of the sub chapter on 320.
6. Discuss the author’s thoughts about the importance of home from pp. 320–325 in
Chapter 11.
Chapter 12: Building a Village of Kindness (325-349)
1. List some of the things refugees can/have taught us. (327-329)
2. Comment and discuss the four steps in eliminating racism, as noted on p. 331.
3. Re-read the ten common beliefs of the JPI (Just Plain Ignorant) (334-336).
Comment on the ones you’ve been most afflicted with throughout your life. Has
reading this book dispelled most of these beliefs? Explain.
4. The author notes this at the bottom of p. 338: “My own deepest belief is that the
purpose of human life to grow and become all we can be in order to use those
gifts for the betterment of other people.” Comment on and discuss.
5. In the sub-chapter entitled “What I’ve Learned” (339-345), list three or four
things the author learned not only about other cultures but also about herself. As a
reader, what have you learned about yourself by reading this book?
In both Appendix 1 (353-356) and Appendix 2 (356) we are given valuable information
about how we can become involved and help newcomers acclimate to our culture. This is
a part of this book that can be read several times. What are some practical ways we can
all help refugees.