Myths of Sexual Harassments and Misconceptions about Sexual
Harassment
Myth: Some people ask to be sexually harassed. They do this with how they dress, or how they act. They
send "signals."
Reality: Being subjected to sexual harassment is a painful, difficult, and frequently traumatic experience.
Defenses such as "she wore provocative clothes" and "he enjoyed it" are neither acceptable nor
accurate.
Myth: If a person really wanted to discourage, or stop, sexual harassment, they could.
Reality: Often, the harasser is in a position to punish the recipient by withholding a promotion, giving a
bad evaluation, or giving a low grade. In this society, men are known to rationalize their actions by saying
that a women's "no" is really a "yes." And often the harassment continues even after the victim despite
the victims attempt to say "No" or stop the behavior.
Myth: Most charges of sexual harassment are false.
Reality: People have nothing to gain from making false accusations and filing false charges. It is very
difficult to file sexual harassment charges, and "the system" can be very hostile to accusers.
Confronting the issue can be both physically and financially draining. Usually, victims are traumatized
further by the entire process. Often, the experience retaliation and backlash in the aftermath.
Myth: If you ignore sexually harassing behavior, it will eventually stop.
Reality: In a recent survey, only 29% of the women who said they tried to ignore the behavior said that it
"made things better." Over 61% of the women said that telling the harasser to stop was the most
effective method.
Myth: Only women are sexually harassed, this does not happen to men; and all sexual harassment
perpetrators are male.
Reality: While women continue to be the majority of sexual harassment recipients, men do get
harassed--by other men and by women. Currently, approximately 11% of EEOC claims involve men filing
grievances against female supervisors. Also, increasing numbers of women are being sexually
harassed by other women.
Myth: The seriousness of sexual harassment is exaggerated; most "harassment" is really minor, and
involves harmless flirtation.
Reality: REAL sexual harassment can be devastating. Studies indicate that most harassment has
nothing to do with flirtation or sincere sexual or social interest on the part of the perpetrators. Sexual
harassment is largely about control, domination, and/or punishment. Research shows that victims
must often to leave school or jobs to avoid harassment. Many experience serious psychological and
health-related problems. They may even be forced to relocate to other cities. (See Ellsion Vs. Brady and
the "Reasonable Woman" Standard )
Myth: Any unwanted touch, sexual comments, or sexual attention is discriminatory and should
immediately be considered sexual harassment.
Reality: Sexual harassment is not about sex, and what bothers one person won't necessarily bother
another person. In many cases, mild behavior is being labeled sexual harassment when it is really a
matter of personal comfort, space, cultural difference, or even a simple miscommunication. In these
cases, the recipient(s) needs to communicate their feelings about the behavior so that the person or
people engaging in the behavior know this is offensive or unwanted. If the behavior continues even after
there has been an attempt to resolve the conflict, this is an indication there could be a larger problem
that involves discrimination or abuse.
Myth: We live in modern times, and sexual harassment is becoming less of a problem.
Reality: Sexual harassment effects 40 to 60 percent of working women, with similar statistics for
female students in colleges and universities. 10-20% of men have experienced sexual harassment in
the workplace. Approximately 15,000 sexual harassment cases are brought to the Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission (EEOC) each year.
Myth: Sexual harassment is inevitable when people are working together.
Reality: While interactions between people may be inevitable, uninvited sexual overtures are not.
Myth: An harasser has to have sexual intentions towards their target for the behavior to count as sexual
harassment
Reality: Sexual harassment is discrimination and is a form of abuse, most commonly an abuse of
power. The harasser's rationale does not change this fact. (See Oncale V. Sundowner )
Myth: Sexual harassment policies and legislation encourage a fear of sex, and demonizes behavior
that is really normal between people.
Reality: Sexual harassing behavior may be common, but it is not "normal." Sexual harassment is not
about sex, at the core of the problem is abuse, particularly the abuse of power and authority. One would
never say that racist acts are "normal," yet they are common, and are as harmful as sexual harassment.
The issue is one of treating people with respect and dignity. That this does not always occur may be
common, and may be human nature, but it is not "normal."
Sexual harassers: their patterns, personalities, and types of harassment
Harasser Patterns
Sexual harassment is not about sex--at the core of the problem is the abuse of power or authority,
though the perpetrator might try to convince the victim and him/herself that the behavior is about sexual
or romantic interest. Some harassers, such as the Mother-father Figure, may even rationalize their
behavior as an intent to "help" the victim. The dynamics of sexual harassment usually involves an
aggressor who holds a position of power over the victim. Still, cases of peer-to-peer harassment are
very common. Subordinates sexually harassing superiors have also been reported. (Sexual
harassment by subordinates is sometimes called "sexual hassle.")
Most sexual harassment is perpetrated by men against women. However, there are also cases of
harassment by women against men, and of same sex harassment perpetrated by either sex. A small
percentage of men account for the majority of harassers, and many of these individuals victimize
several women over a period of time. (Bullying is as serious a problem as sexual harassment, and it
can be just as damaging; interestingly, women account for the majority of workplace bullies and the
majority of bullying victims are also women.)
In addition to targeting subordinates, perpetrators of sexual harassment may choose their victims
based on such characteristics as age, perceived passivity or lack of assertiveness, poor education or
naiveté, low self esteem, and other areas of vulnerability. However, this does not mean that individuals
with these characteristics cause the harassment or deserve to be harassed.
Harassers often test out new victims with minor violations of work, social, and interpersonal boundaries.
For example, they might tell sexual jokes or make sexual comments about their target, display
sexual/erotic materials, or ask questions about one's sex life; violate one's personal space with
touching, and maintain that it is meant to be nonsexual; make requests or demands that the potential
victim meet him/her outside of normal work hours or the designated workplace, or demand they meet
alone.
Harassers often dismiss or show a lack of regard for the feelings of their victims, even when assertive
attempts are made to put an end to the inappropriate behavior. When confronted about their
inappropriate behavior, perpetrators of sexual harassment often act as if they are being victimized, or it
is the victim who is at fault. This type of manipulation can make the victim feel guilty about trying to set
limits or bringing a complaint against the harasser.
Harasser Personality Traits and Attitudes
Behavior and motives vary between individual harassers. Four dimensions, or "themes," have been
described to help further understand the dynamics that can shape harasser behavior. While they were
originally written to illuminate the dynamics in sexual harassment by male teachers, the information is
easily appropriate to describe harassers in any setting--professional, educational, church/clerical, etc.
(Also, some female harassers can be placed in a few of these dimensions.) Each dimension is
comprised of two profiles, each representing the end of a “pole.” Please note that these are not entirely
mutually exclusive dimensions, and a harasser's placement into any is a matter of judgement.
Public versus Private Harassers: Public harassers are blatant about their seductive or sexist attitudes
towards colleagues, subordinates, or students. They like to tell sexist, or sexual jokes, and can be
overtly sexual or seductive in their approach. They are "show offs" and their attitudes are a call to
attention and meant to make them seem more manly or more powerful. Private harassers are intensely
interested in their images, cultivating personas that seem to be restrained and conservative. However,
when they are alone with their target, their demeanor will change dramatically. The target will find
themselves is a sexual confrontation, and usually a "my word against yours" dilemma should they try to
file a grievance. (The deception, and secretiveness of the activities are part of the excitement for the
Private Harasser.)
The Untouchable versus The Risk-Taker: The Untouchable does not consider the consequences of
his or her actions, believing themselves to be in control, free of any real risks, and beyond the ranks of
censorship or reprimands. They may even flaunt sexual liaisons with coworkers, subordinates, or
students, viewing this as a challenge to the system. For the most part, they are narcissistic and
grandiose, viewing themselves as “untouchable,” much like the egocentric adolescent who does not
believe the will ever “get caught” or who continually drives drunk. The Risk-Taker knows they are being
“naughty” and their actions are a statement, and at the same time, the risk-taker fears punishment for
the transgressions. They will vacillate between the “high” of breaking-the-rules and guilt at the
immorality of their actions. The sexual harassment target will symbolize the transgression, and
symbolize the harasser’s weakness. Because of this the harasser will blame the victim, labeling them
a “tempter” or “temptress” who has taken advantage. Indeed, the Risk-Taker will view themselves as
being the victims, and not the other way around.
The Seducer-Demander versus the Passive-Initiator: The Seducer-Demander is a “power player” who
actively plots sexual encounters using his or her position to do so. A Demander has little more than
contempt for their targets, and they broker favors for sex as their way of keeping people in their “proper
place.” A Seducer also uses their position to facilitate sexual encounters but they have a need to be
desired and loved, and the power of their position, and the effect it has on their targets, is part of this
dynamic. The Passive-Initiator is the person who pays special attention to a subordinate or student, is
flirtatious and flattering, but who does not make the first overtly sexual overture. They will argue that, if the
subordinate is the one to initiate sexual contact, then the superior is not guilty of any transgressions.
However, it has been argued that an unequal power distribution in this kind of relationship makes the
superior's concession to the overtures exploitation, particularly in terms of student-teacher sexual
relations. That the subordinate "asked" is not an excuse for complying. The Passive-Initiator "draws
the line between morality and immorality at who does the asking.
The Infatuated versus The Sexual Conqueror: The Sexual Conqueror is the typical Don Juan (or
Juanita) who seduces many people. They will remember little about each conquest, as they are only
interested in numbers. In many cases, they will not even be able to match a name to a face. The
Infatuated begins by developing a “crush” on a student or subordinate, which may evolve into stronger
feelings. The primary attraction to the target is that they are lower in the hierarchy which makes the
Infatuated feel stronger and more powerful then they would in a relationship with a peer. They want to
be looked up to, and to be the center of the relationship. They want to be the teacher who “guides” the
lover. In many cases, the Infatuated are very discontented with their own status within their departments
or companies, and the relationship with the subordinate is a panacea to this, and helps to bolster the
Infatuated's self-esteem. (Please note: the Infatuated might also be observed in a reverse mode, with a
subordinate targeting a superior, with the power disparity being the same basis for the attraction, and
even leading to erotomanic or intimacy seeker stalking--see Types of Stalkers )
Varied Behaviors and Types of Harassment
Besides the four dimensions, we can subdivide harassers and harassment into a number of
categories. Like the dimensions, these are not entirely mutually exclusive categories. Most
harassment involves more than one type of behavior; therefore, a single harasser may fit several of
these profiles, or begin with one method, then move to another. (Please note: these are not legal
definitions and do not describe burdens of proof required by the law.)
The Power-player
In this case harassment is a power game, where the perpetrator insists on sexual favors in exchange
for benefits they can dispense because of their position in the hierarchy: getting or keeping a job,
favorable grades, recommendations, credentials, projects, raises, promotions, orders, and other types
of opportunities. Called "Quid Pro Quo" harassment, it’s the “you do something for me, and I’ll do
something for you” mentality, and is very much like blackmail. This form of harassment is an
extraordinary abuse of power and trust, and can have serious effects on the victim.
The Mother-father Figure (a.k.a. The Counselor-Helper)
Often found in educational and helping professions, this is probably the most calculated of all sexual
harassers. The Mother-father Figure will try to create a mentor-like relationship with their sexual
harassment target, while masking their sexual intentions with pretenses towards personal,
professional, or academic attention. The Mother-father Figure can be particularly drawn to subordinates
or students who are troubled, or going through difficult periods in their lives. This perpetrator will gather
information about their target's interests, vulnerabilities, or their knowledge and experience with sex,
then tailor their line to the target's specific needs. The Mother-father Figure may act as a go-between in
relationships that their target is having difficulty with--such as relationships with boyfriends or family
members. In doing this, they can increase their stature with their target and earn their trust.. Moreover,
they will usually rationalize their predatory intentions by maintaining that it is their duty to "guide" the
target to maturity, even in terms of their sexuality and sexual experience.
One-of-the-gang
Often motivated by bravado or competition, "one-of-the-gang" harassment occurs when groups of men
or women embarrass others with lewd comments or physical evaluations. Harassers may act
individually in order to "belong" or "impress" the others, or groups may gang up on a particular target.
Groups may sexually evaluate or derogate the victim--to their face or behind their back--as a way to
"bond." The behavior can range from minor isolated incidents to serial harassing of an individual, and
even gang stalking. Competition may come into play as members of the group play on each other's
egos and bravado. They may compete for the attentions of another, or compete for sexual favors from
another. Things may even sink to the level of bets being made on who can succeed in a conquest for a
target's sexual favors. (One-of-the-gang is a very common form of harassment amongst children and
teenagers.)
Group initiations and rituals: Group rituals can also involve sexually harassing behaviors and abuses.
Traditionally, this has occurred in the realm of male group rituals and initiations, such as those used in
fraternities, sports, and the military. However sexually harassing behaviors and activities are
increasingly being included in girls and women's groups, such as sororities and women's sports.
Moreover, the rationale for such behaviors by women's groups is often that this will make them more
acceptable, and seemingly equal to, male groups. While some suggest such activities are just “a
joke”; or in the name of "group bonding," others consider it degrading, insulting and even threatening—
especially for many young people who have experienced sexual harassment, sexual abuse, stalking, or
rape. Young people who lack confidence, or who are confused about their identity, may fall victim to
such practices more easily than those who are self-assured.
The Serial Harasser
The most difficult type of harasser to identify, this person is compulsive and often has serious
psychological problems. They carefully build up an image so that people would find it hard to believe
they would do anyone any harm. They plan their approach carefully, and strike in private so that it is their
word against that of a subordinate or student. They can do a lot of damage before being found out. Their
behavior is often a "call for help" rather than a deliberate plan to harass someone or do them harm. In
this case, counseling is probably the best protocol for treating the problem. to wander.
The Opportunist
The Opportunist uses physical settings and circumstances, or infrequently occurring opportunities, to
mask premeditated or intentional sexual behavior towards a target. This may involve changing the
environment in order to minimize inhibitory effects of the workplace or school (e.g private meetings, oneon-one "instruction," field trips, conferences). An employer or professor taking advantage of
subordinates at hotels during out-of-town conferences is a classic example.
The Bully
In this case, sexual harassment is used to punish the victim for some transgression, such as rejection
of the harassers interest or advances, or making the harasser feel insecure in their own abilities.
Sexually degrading comments or pranks, sending sexually hostile mail or e-mails, leaving hostile
telephone messages, giving negative evaluations or low grades, sabotaging projects, denying
opportunities or otherwise undermining the victims ability to do their work or advance at work or school-all are examples of ways the perpetrator punishes their target, and puts them "in their proper place."
The Bully may convince others to assist them in their "revenge campaign." (See the One-of-the-Gang)
The Bully will also target people for sexual harassment because of perceived weakness, or for seeming
to be different. For example, homosexuals are often targeted for sexual harassment because of their
orientation and lifestyle choices, as are men who do not embody traditional masculine stereotypes.
(Both are often targets of One-of-the-Gang sexual harassment, also.)
The Confidante
This type of harasser approaches the subordinate, or student, as an equal or a friend. They will share
about their own life experiences and difficulties, and invite the subordinate to share theirs. The
perpetrator may invent stories to win admiration or sympathy. Their target may feel valued and trusted,
and will become an involuntary confidante. “Without genuine mutual agreement, the relationship is
moved into an intimate domain,” from which the subordinate may find it difficult to extricate themselves.
The Situational Harasser
The type of harassment usually occurs when the perpetrator endures a traumatic event, or begins to
experience very stressful life situations, such as psychological or medical problems, marital problems,
or divorce. If the situation changes, or the pressures are removed, the harassment often stops - but by
then both victim and harasser have been harmed.
The Pest
This is the stereotypical "won't take 'no' for an answer" harasser who persists in hounding a target for
attention and dates even after persistent rejections. In most cases, this harasser has no malicious
intent and is simply operating on the principles that they will eventually be able to wear their target down,
and eventually get a "yes." (see also, the Incompetent below)
The Great Gallant
This mostly verbal harassment involves excessive compliments and personal comments that are out of
place or embarrassing to the recipient. While most men and women appreciate recognition and
genuine compliments, these comments focus on the appearance and the sex of a worker or student,
rather than their abilities or accomplishments. Such comments are sometimes accompanied by
leering looks or an attitude of "possessive pride." Although the complimenter may see himself/herself
as gallant or gracious, the recipient usually experiences this as patronizing or annoying, or both. The
catcalls of a street harasser is another type of "Great Gallant" harassment.
The Intellectual Seducer (a.k.a. the “mind fucker")
Most often found in a university or classroom setting, this perpetrator will try to use their knowledge and
skills as an avenue to gaining access to a student, or information about a student, for sexual purposes.
A number of disciplines, such as psychology, women’s studies, sociology, and philosophy, encourage
students to disclose information about themselves. The teacher may require students participate in
exercises or "studies" that reveal information about their sexual preferences, experiences, and habits.
The Incompetent
These are socially inept individuals who desire intimacy and the attentions of their target, who does not
reciprocate these feelings. The Incompetent often lacks sufficient courting skills, and cannot engage in
"subdued, preliminary interpersonal relations." At the same time, they may also display a sense of
entitlement: believing their target should feel flattered by their attentions. When rejected, this type of
harasser may engage in stalking, or use bullying methods as a form of revenge.
The Groper
The Groper is usually serial in his/her attentions to colleagues, subordinates, or students. Whenever the
opportunity presents itself - in the elevator, when working late, at the office or department party - the
Groper's eyes and hands begin to wander. Every birthday, farewell or special occasion is also an
opportunity to insist on (usually begrudged) kisses or hugs. The Groper may try to mask inappropriate
touching while ostensibly providing instruction (e.g. "guiding" the target through a movement exercise).
A particularly aggressive Groper may go so far as to act in public; but if not stopped, he/she is likely to try
to go further in private. If confronted, they will deny the behavior, or insist that the recipient likes and
enjoys these attentions. They may even insist that single and divorced people "need it."
The Comedian
The Comedian harasses others because they think it is funny to do so. In their 2006 study, the AAUW
found that this was the most common rationale for harassment by boys--59 percent. However, since
this behavior is so often meant to impress others, it may fall more appropriately under the category of
"One of the Gang." Less than one-fifth (17%) of those boys who admitted to harassing others say they
did so because they wanted a date with the person. Other researchers assert that the "I thought it was
funny" rationale is a fallacy, and the true reasons align more with that of a need to assert power and
induce fear in others--more in line with the Bully. These hazing behaviors develop in school, continue in
high school and college, eventually moving into the workplace.
The Statement-maker (The Sexual Activist)
There is also sexual harassment that is disguised as empowerment, or to force a political agenda.
Increasingly, women are embracing a traditional male model of sexual aggression as a way of showing
their liberation and sexual power; however, this aggression can lead to sexual harassing behavior of
both men and other women. Women are also beginning to sexually harass others as a way of making
themselves feel more equal to males, or to be viewed by males as equals. Someone who has
embraced an "alternative sexuality" may harass others in a mis-guided attempt to obtain acceptance or
encourage others to embrace the same values. Activist Harassers often rationalize such behaviors as
attempts at sexual empowerment, or to encourage people to accept diverse lifestyle choices. However,
these rationales are completely self-serving, as are most rationales for harassment. Gay or feminist
political agendas do not turn sexual harassment into something else. (At the same time, your average
Activist Harasser would not hesitate to label all the same behaviors as oppressive or discriminatory, if
done by white male heterosexuals.)
The effects of sexual harassment vary from person to person, and are contingent on the severity, and
duration, of the harassment. However, sexual harassment is a type of sexual assault, and victims of
severe or chronic sexual harassment can suffer the same psychological effects as rape victims.
Aggravating factors can exist, such as their becoming the target of retaliation, backlash, or victim
blaming after their complaining, or filing a formal grievance. Moreover, people who have experienced
sexual harassment occupy a place in our society that is similar to where rape victims were placed in the
past, and they can be abused further by the system that is supposed to help and protect them. Indeed,
the treatment of the complainant during an investigation or litigation can be brutal, and add further
damage to their life, health, and psyche. Depending on the situation, a sexual harassment victim can
experience anything from mild annoyance to extreme psychological damage, while the impact on a
victim's career and life may be minimal, or leave them in ruins.
Some of the effects a sexual harassment victim can experience:
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Decreased work or school performance as the victim must focus on dealing with the
harassment and the surrounding dynamics and/or effects; psychological effects of harassment
can also decrease work and school performance
Increased absenteeism to avoid harassment, or because of illness from the stress
Having to drop courses, or change academic plans; academic transcripts may be weakened
because of decreased school performance
Retaliation from the harasser, or colleagues/friends of the harasser, should the victim complain
or file a grievance (retaliation can involve revenge along with more sexual harassment, and often
involves stalking the complainant)
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Having one's personal life offered up for public scrutiny --the victim becomes the "accused," and
their dress, lifestyle, and private life will often come under attack. (Note: this rarely occurs for the
perpetrator.)
Being objectified and humiliated by scrutiny and gossip
Becoming publicly sexualized
Defamation of character and reputation
Loss of trust in environments similar to where the harassment occurred
Loss of trust in the types of people that occupy similar positions as the harasser or their
colleagues
Extreme stress upon relationships with significant others, sometimes resulting in divorce;
extreme stress on peer relationships, or relationships with colleagues
Being ostracized from professional or academic circles
Having to relocate to another city, another job, or another school
Loss of job and income; loss of tuition because of having to leave school
Loss of references/recommendations
Loss of career
Weakening of support network: colleagues, friends, and even family may distance themselves
from the victim or abandon them altogether.
Some of the health effects, psychological and physiological, that can occur in someone who has been
sexually harassed:
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Depression
Anxiety and/or panic attacks
Traumatic stress; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
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Sleeplessness and/or nightmares
Shame and guilt; self-blame
Difficulty concentrating
Headaches
Fatigue or loss of motivation
Difficulties with time (forgetting appointments, trouble gaging time)
Stomach problems; gastrointestinal disorders
Eating disorders (weight loss or gain)
Feeling betrayed and/or violated
Feeling angry or violent towards the perpetrator
Feeling powerless, helpless, or out of control
Increased blood pressure
Loss of confidence and self esteem
Overall loss of trust in people; problems with intimacy
Problems with sex (sexual dysfunction)
Withdrawal and isolation
Suicidal thoughts or attempts; suicide
Please note, the above symptoms may not be generated only from the harassment, but can be the
cumulative result of the harassment, retaliation, backlash, and/or blaming a sexual harassment victim
may endure.
Environmental changes: The Womens' Crisis Support and Shelter of Santa Cruz has created a list of
the changes that might occur in a sexual harassment victim's environment after they have complained of
the behavior, or other's have found out about it. While written for the workplace, you can generalize
many of these patterns to sexual harassment in an educational setting. (Note: this was written for
female victims, but a male victim may experience similar pressures; however, because of the "double-
standard" in our society regarding sex and gender, a male will most likely have different concerns, and
struggle with different emotions.)
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Her social environment may be entirely transformed. If only some people know, she may
constantly wonder who knows and what they are thinking. She may overhear conversations of
her superiors about her case. She may become the subject of juicy gossip and wild
misinformation and speculation. The harasser may be conducting their own campaign of
misinformation. She will be judged by all who know about it, whether positively or negatively. This
is a huge burden to carry through your work or school environment.
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Her support network may be torn. The environment in which it happened may be a big part of her
life and her social sphere as well. It can be turned upside down in the wake of a complaint. If
she does not have a strong network of friends outside of that sphere, she can become highly
isolated. Those who she would ordinarily rely on for support may have mixed loyalties or may
turn against her altogether. They also may not be free to support her for their own political
reasons. If the proceedings are confidential, she can be isolated from potential supporters
because she can't bring it up.
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Because it's a subject which has meaning for a lot of people, even those who are not connected
to the particular job or school may have mixed reactions to her dilemma. One advantage could
be that she will find out who her real friends at work or school are. However, she may lose some
friends whom she would still rather have kept. Also, she is more in need of friends now than
usual.
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There may be a series of intrigues which continually intrude upon her ability to do her work as
usual. She is now no longer an ordinary student or employee, she is part of a major
underground drama. She may be called away for meetings with people high up, she may get
urgent confidential letters and phone calls.
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Fellow women coworkers may be her best friends or worst enemies. They have the potential to
be sources of support and validation. If they went through it too, they could become allies in the
process. However, fellow women may also be the least sympathetic. This could be due to
internalized sexism, or they may even feel threatened by her, either because she had the guts to
speak up for herself, or because they are jealous for her sexual attention.
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She becomes publicly sexualized, a walking icon of misplaced amorous attentions. Is she
attractive enough to get in trouble over?
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Additional effects in the aftermath of speaking up. Suppressed anger: she is cast as the
aggressor; she may feel she must come across as non threatening and as non angry as
possible. She is pressured to show caring for the accused, and compassion for his plight.
However, through her various struggles, she will become stronger and will know herself better.
Opportunities to really take a stand on what one believes in are rare, and even if undesirable,
they can have positive effects as well. She is on the front line of a battle for women's rights.
Another significant effect can arise from the outcome. In many cases, she may have paid a
tremendous price for nothing.
The Effects of Sexual Harassment on The Workplace or School Environment
The impact on the workplace: Sexual harassment has been linked to decreased job satisfaction, and
can lead to a loss of staff and expertise because of resignations to avoid harassment, or because of
resignations or firings of alleged harassers. Every year, hundreds of millions of dollars are lost in
productivity because of effects such as employee absenteeism to avoid harassment, and increased
team conflict in environments where harassment is occurring. The increased team conflict also leads
to problems with team cohesion and less success in meeting financial goals. The knowledge that
harassment is permitted can undermine ethical standards, and discipline in the organization. Prekel
writes, “…staff lose respect for, and trust in, their seniors who indulge in, or turn a blind eye to, sexual
harassment.” If the problem is ignored, a company’s image can suffer amongst clients, employees,
potential customers, and the general public. Health care costs can increase because of the health
consequences of harassment, not to mention the legal costs if a victim files a lawsuit after complaints
are ignored or mishandled.
The impact in school: In educational environments where sexual harassment is occurring, the impact
can be similar to that of the workplace: increased absenteeism by students to avoid harassment,
increased student turnover as students leave to escape harassment; conflict amongst students when
harassment is present; decreased productivity and performance, and/or decreased participation in
school activities, as students must focus on, and strategize about, ways to deal with the harassment, or
because of the psychological effects of harassment. The same loss of trust in the ethical standards of a
company can also occur at school, leading students, staff, parents, and the general public can lose
respect for, and trust in, the institution if nothing is done to improve the situation.
What To Do If You’re Being Sexually Harassed
Get the message across
Don't expect anyone to read your mind: Tell the harasser firmly that their attention is unwanted, or have
someone you trust do this for you. In the workplace, Human Resources offices often have "conflict
resolution specialists" or mediators who can offer assistance. For peer harassment at school, many
colleges and universities have Ombuds departments that offer mediation services, and they may be
able to provide you with assistance in dealing with the situation. However you choose to confront the
harassment, be firm and direct:
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Tell the harasser what they have done--name the behavior. Be specific, straightforward, and
blunt.
Demand that the behavior stop.
Say "No!" like you mean it. Don't be wishy-washy. Don't say "I have a boyfriend," or "I have a
girlfriend," or "I'm married." This is NOT the same thing as saying "No." It implies you would
welcome the attention if you were not in a relationship. Plus, many harassers will be
encouraged by the prospects of cheating with you.
Don't make excuses for the harasser--hold them accountable. Do not pretend nothing has
happened. Don't fret about protecting their feelings, or protecting them from feeling rejected.
Make it clear that everyone has the right to be free from sexual harassment. Objecting to
harassment is a matter of principle.
Stand your ground and stick to your own agenda. Don't respond to the harasser's excuses or
diversionary tactics. Harassers will often try to draw you into a dialogue or argument about why
you should submit to their demands. Refuse to discuss the issue with them as this can become
a power game in itself. Also, do not allow yourself to be manipulated by others into backing
down.
Remember, the harasser's behavior is the issue--not your behavior.
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Reinforce your statements with strong, self-respecting body language: eye contact, head up,
shoulders back, a strong, serious stance. Don't smile. Timid, submissive body language will
undermine your message. If the harassment continues, repeat yourself if you have to.
Respond at the appropriate level. If the harassment was physical, combine your verbal response
with a physical one (i.e. grasp their arm firmly while saying "No!")
Talk about the harassment to others. Staying silent protects harassers.
(Adapted from "Back Off")
Important note: Schools and some companies are now requiring immediate intervention if they
learn there is sexual harassment occurring. If you are a student being harassed by a teacher,
professor, or other employee from your school, any school employee you speak to about the
harassment is required by law to report the behavior to the administration. This is also becoming policy
at some companies--if you are being harassed by another employee, check your company sexual
harassment policy before talking to a supervisor as they may be obligated to report the harassment to
the higher-ups. If your situation reflects either of these, it's best to be careful who you talk to, or be sure
of the timing, otherwise you may end up in a formal investigation without wanting to be, or before you are
ready.
Document
Document the harassment: You will be tempted to ignore the behavior, telling yourself it will stop
eventually. However, in most cases, the harassment continues. So, keep a log of what is happening,
particularly if the perpetrator is a superior (supervisor, teacher, etc.). Document each incident, including
dates, times, names of witnesses, etc. Save e-mails to a disc and keep it at home. Do not throw away
any mail or email that is related to the harassment, even if the mail is anonymous.
If it is legal in your state or country, tape record interactions and meetings with the harasser/s by carrying
a hidden, voice-activated tape recorder, or wear a "wire" connected to a tape recorder. If the harassment
occurs repeatedly in the same place, such as your office or cubicle, try hiding a motion-triggered camera
to capture video-taped evidence--start with a "nanny cam" and disguise it to blend in with the
surroundings such as putting it in a plant pot base or a tote bag.
Document negative actions: Document any negative actions that you experience because of your
refusal to submit to sexually harassing behavior--for example, if you are given a poor evaluation, a
demotion, or low grade because of your refusal to cooperate with the sexual demands or behavior of the
harasser/s.
Document your work and/or school performance. Keep copies of performance evaluations and
memos that attest to the quality of your work. Save papers and exams that have comments by your
professors. Ask for written recommendations from your teachers that you can keep on file for later. The
harasser may question your work or school performance in order to justify their behavior.
Formal complaints
Begin with available grievance channels: If the behavior continues, use whatever grievance
procedures are available at your school or workplace. In the workplace, the Human Resources
department is usually responsible for dealing with sexual harassment complaints, at least initially. At
school, sexual harassment will be in the "domain" of any number of departments: affirmative action
office, ombudsman, student affairs office, dean of students, etc. (Your Student Handbook should be
able to tell you which department handles sexual harassment grievances.) Mediation may be the best,
first step with peer harassment. But be aware that the primary goal of any department you consult will
be to protect the school or business from liability--ethics are not likely to guide their decisions, nor will
they be likely to guide many of the people involved in your situation. In many cases, complainants are
treated like "the enemy."
Have proof: Be sure you have witnesses or documented proof that the harassment occurred. Many
companies are responding to grievances without documentation by firing the complainant. If the
complainant has no proof of the allegations, it's easy for them to say the victim is simply a trouble-maker.
Power in numbers: Find others who have had similar experiences with the harasser, or within the
environment where the harassment is occurring. See if they will join you or support your complaint.
Document retaliation: Retaliation for complaining about sexual harassment is also illegal. Document
any instances you experience just as you would the harassment. It is likely that the majority of the
hostility comes from colleagues of the harasser, but this does not change the legality. All retaliation is
unlawful regardless of who is doing it.
Keep notes of meetings and phone conferences: Be sure to keep detailed notes of every meeting you
have regarding the harassment, including dates, names of participants, and the meeting results. If
possible, you might want to tape record the meetings, or bring an advocate or friend so you have a
witness to what transpired. It is also a good idea to send written summaries of the results to the
attendees after each meeting. (It shows the institution you are keeping on top of things, and that you
mean business.)
Stay composed: This is very, very important. Remain calm and professional during the entire process.
Your demeanor and psychological state will be under scrutiny, and everyone involved will be questioning
your motives. Save your emotions for a private counselor's office, family, or friends outside the
harassment environment. Don't respond to the situation in a way that gives ammunition to the other
side, where they love to discredit harassment complainants on the grounds they cannot deal with
conflict constructively.
Consult with a legal advocate: Consulting with an experienced advocate early on can help you avoid
making mistakes in the process, particularly if you are being harassed by a superior (for example, your
employer, supervisor, or a teacher). Also, keep the consultation confidential. Getting legal advise does
not mean you plan to sue, but those around you may over-react if they know you are talking to legal
professionals about the situation. (We have heard reports of people being fired when their employers
learned a lawyer had been consulted.)
If the problem continues or worsens, there are a number of legal options for you to take. If you are
thinking of taking legal action, it is best for you to not leave school or your job without consulting a lawyer
first. Note: institutions, particularly universities, have been known to drag out investigations so that too
much time passes for the victim to file a lawsuit later on--there is usually a 1 year statute of limitations
on cases. If you suspect this is happening, go ahead and consult a lawyer now.
Note on workplace harassment: In most cases, a lawyer will require that you file with the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) before they will take on your case. The EEOC will only
rule on cases where the harassment occurred within the last year, so the incidents will have to be
relatively recent. It is best that you do not leave your job if you are thinking about filing a formal
complaint with the EEOC, as this will weaken your case.
Note on sexual harassed in school: Recent changes to Title IX hold academic institutions more liable
for protecting sexual harassment complainants from retaliation. Also, your identity must be kept
confidential except where necessary for investigative purposes. Know your rights in this process ahead
of time. If the institutional grievance channels do not clear up the situation, besides contacting a lawyer,
contact the U.S. Department of Education's Office of Civil Rights.
For more information about the sexual harassment and the legal process (i.e. state laws, international
laws, more legal resources) refer to the support forum library.
***All information is from www.sexualharassmentsupport.org