The Arms of Your Mercy:
1 of 3
PREPARING…
FOR DEATH
FOR A CATHOLIC FUNERAL
FOR A CATHOLIC BURIAL
INTRODUCTION
The Church has always cared for the grieving with tender compassion. This
ministry of consolation embodies Gospel teaching and fulfills Spiritual and
Corporal Works of Mercy. Jesus gave example by the miraculous raising of
Lazarus and the young man of Naim. He healed the daughter of Jairus and
preached comfort for those who mourn. The concern of the Lord Jesus for
those in the shadow of death, in need of comfort, is extended by His disciples
in our day.
The proclamation of the resurrection of the dead is the greatest comfort that
we can give to a grieving person. The pain, suffering and loss of a loved one
can become blessed moments when the Spirit works wonders in the hearts of
believers.
Jesus knew this to be true. He told His disciples without any doubt or
hesitation:
Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith
also in me. In my Father's house, there are many dwelling places. If
there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a
place for you? I will come back again and take you to myself, so that
where I am you also may be. (John 14:1-3)
From our faith comes a sure and certain hope in the face of death. The
Church’s pastoral care is a continuum…from conception to natural death. At
every moment in life, in all situations, the Church trusts in God and proclaims
hope, mercy and life, even in the face of despair, sin and death.
Archdiocese of Milwaukee
Catholic Cemeteries.
We share
the faith of your Son’s disciples &
the hope of the children of God
I. PASTORAL CARE FOR THE DYING
A. A Continuum of Pastoral Care
B. The Two Sacraments of Healing
C. Viaticum, Holy Communion for the dying
D. Prayer during illness and after death
A. A Continuum of Pastoral Care
The Church has a place within the days of final sickness and decline. Visits to
the sick and dying extend pastoral and sacramental ministry of the parish.
Notify a parish at the onset of serious illness, whether active in or currently
apart from the life of a parish. Those who may have been away from the
Catholic Church for whatever reason will find a gentle “welcome home” at the
parish.
B The Two Sacraments of Healing
The Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Sacrament of Anointing of the
Sick are the Catholic sacraments of healing. They confront the presence of
sin and the effects of discouragement and doubt. Since both require the
ministry of a priest, it might be best to arrange an appointment so both can be
celebrated together. These sacraments strengthen a person's ability to cope
with life-destroying illness and prepare to meet Christ. Healing, even if not
physical, will be spiritual or emotional.
C. Viaticum, Holy Communion for the dying
A third sacrament in a final illness is Viaticum, Holy Communion for the
dying. As “the last sacrament,” a dying Catholic receives Eucharistic food for
the final journey to the Lord. This sacrament can be received frequently, even
daily, and ministered by commissioned family members or friends. Many
parishes send the Eucharist to the sick from Mass on the Lord’s Day with a
special ritual.
D. Prayer during illness and after death
Through prayer, the Church provides comfort and hope in moments of great
testing and sorrow. The Church’s prayer accompanies all who pass into the
hands of God beyond this life. Pastoral Care of the Sick: Rite of Anointing
and Viaticum has a section called Commendation of the Dying (¶ 212-222)
Sacraments are for the living, but prayer continues. Once death has come,
Prayers after Death from the OCF (¶ 101-108) and Prayers for the Dead from
the Pastoral Care of the Sick (¶ 223-231) provide fitting Scriptures,
intercessions, prayers and gestures of commendation and consolation.
Since every Mass proclaims Christ’s Paschal Mystery, it is fitting that the dead
be remembered in light of His triumph over death. We pray that the promise of
endless life will be fulfilled in that heavenly banquet beyond sorrow and tears,
sin and sickness.
For more detailed information about any of these topics, contact:
Office for Prayer, Worship & Evangelization
LITURGICAL QUESTIONS AND PASTORAL CONCERNS:
414-769-3349 or 800-769-9373 x349 [10-counties only]
Web site: www.archmil.org/dept/oremus
Archdiocese of Milwaukee Catholic Cemeteries
CEMETERY QUESTIONS:
414-438-4420
Web site: www.cemeteries.org
Email: guidance@archmil.org
Ask for Cemeteries’ publication: From Grief & Sorrow To Hope & Peace
on the Order of Christian Funerals
The Arms of Your Mercy:
2 of 3
PREPARING…
FOR DEATH
FOR A CATHOLIC FUNERAL
FOR A CATHOLIC BURIAL
II. THE ORDER OF CHRISTIAN FUNERALS
The Order of Christian Funerals (OCF) and its Appendix on Cremation
contain the Church’s official ritual prayer at death. These are the major rites in
the OCF:
A. Vigil within a time of visitation
B. Funeral Mass at the parish church
C. Rite of Committal at the cemetery
A. Vigil within a period of visitation
The Vigil is the first time the faithful gather with the grieving family,
surrounding those who feel the loss most keenly with comfort, supporting them
with the prayer of the Church. Adequate time should be allotted for the
visitation where stories are shared and relationships renewed. Tears mingled
with smiles. The visitation can be held at the funeral home or the parish
church the night before the Funeral Mass. If the visitation is held immediately
before the Mass or Funeral Service, there is no Vigil prayer.
The Rosary or other devotions can be part of the visitation, but cannot
substitute for Vigil prayer of the Church.
B. Funeral Mass at the parish church (or Funeral Liturgy without Mass)
Celebrating the Funeral Mass in the parish church is the central act of worship
in the OCF. In the Eucharist the living faithful join the faithful departed and the
communion of saints praising God, and praying for mercy and compassion.
Here the family and friends of the deceased find consolation and come full
circle in their care for the deceased by actively participating in their celebration
of hope. They clothe the casket with the pall, a symbol of baptism in Christ.
They assist in selecting the Scripture readings and liturgical music, serve as
greeters, lectors, gift bearers, musicians, vocalists or extraordinary ministers
of Holy Communion.
The Eucharist is a foretaste of the heavenly banquet where we shall feast with
Jesus and all the holy ones in eternal life. In the midst of the death experience
we proclaim life, life through God’s Word proclaimed and through Christ’s
Body broken and blood poured out. It is a time to find new hope and to be
sustained in discipleship. Jesus said” “Whoever eat my flesh and drinks my
blood has life eternal.” (John 6:54)
The signs of Resurrection (baptismal water, candle, pall, white vestments,
“Alleluias” and incense) fill the Mass. Listening, singing, speaking the
responses and, most especially, receiving Holy Communion resist death’s
effort to still and quiet the living.
The nature of the deceased’s relationship to the Catholic Church may make it
more appropriate to have a Funeral Liturgy without Mass.
C. Rite of Committal at the cemetery
The Rite of Committal, the final liturgy of the OCF, should be prayed at the
place of burial in the cemetery. It is a leave-taking…a committing of human
remains to the place of eventual resurrection. The deceased has completed
an earthly journey. The living make this last journey to that final place. Though
they must continue their life journey without this loved one.
Why is the cemetery important? A Catholic cemetery is a place of honor and
respect for the dead, a memorial to all buried there, a sacred place to express
grief and hope through prayer and visitation, consecrated ground for those
whose bodies were temples of the Holy Spirit and now await the call to
resurrection.
A representative of the Church is a great source of consolation in leading this
prayer. If a priest or deacon is unable to preside at the Committal, a trained
prayer leader may represent the parish community.
For more detailed information about any of these topics, contact:
Office for Prayer, Worship & Evangelization
LITURGICAL QUESTIONS AND PASTORAL CONCERNS:
414-769-3349 or 800-769-9373 x349 [10-counties only]
Web site: www.archmil.org/dept/oremus
Archdiocese of Milwaukee Catholic Cemeteries
CEMETERY QUESTIONS:
414-438-4420
Web site: www.cemeteries.org
Email: guidance@archmil.org
Ask for Cemeteries’: From Grief & Sorrow To Hope & Peace
on the Order of Christian Funerals
The Arms of Your Mercy:
3 of 3
PREPARING…
FOR DEATH
FOR A CATHOLIC FUNERAL
FOR A CATHOLIC BURIAL
III. CONSIDERATIONS FOR FUNERAL & BURIAL
A. Importance of the full Funeral Rites in the grieving process
B. What is the parish of the deceased?
C. The role of music in the Funeral Rites
D. The Homily & Words in Remembrance
E. Coming to the cemetery and witnessing the burial
F. Cremation
G. Special burial situations: pre-born children, donation, financial
hardship
H. Importance of Advance Planning for funeral and burial
A. Importance of the full Funeral Rites in the grieving process
A cultural shift is underway. Death is never convenient. Today people strive to
reduce the inconvenience when they omitted, shortened and truncated the
Funeral Rites to fill two or three hours…no more. People avoid death and
minimize its impact by wanting to “get on with their lives.” Taking time to
gather for common grieving and to mourn the loss through meaningful rituals
and prayers has spiritual and emotional value. There is a tested wisdom and
human rightness to it. Shortening the visitation, perhaps omitting the Funeral
Mass and not going to the cemetery are becoming more common. The time,
experience, expense and feelings are all legitimate and honest. To opt for less
is less. Hurrying can hinder or delay appropriate grieving.
B. What parish does the deceased belong to?
A death may leave a family wondering where to turn for a parish. Conditions
might exist: inactive membership, a remarriage without an annulment, a new
parish priest, a relocation after retirement or residency with family or in
healthcare institution. Does a parish membership end then? No, a parish is a
faith home. Like a gentle and welcoming Mother, a parish supports families in
a time of loss and uncertainty. So, families should initiate contact with a
parish, preferably the home parish of the deceased. Even if physically apart
from the parish for years, a sort of “honorary” membership endures. Children
who have no attachment to the Catholic Church or with any church should not
avoid or minimize this parish relationship by the deceased. It may be a time to
heal or renew broken or strained relationships.
C. The role of music in the Funeral Rites
The OCF notes that music is "integral to the funeral rites." Hymns and songs
help express Christian hope, console those who mourn and point us to the
Paschal Mystery of Christ's saving death and resurrection. Music should be
part of each of the three major ritual moments: the Vigil, the Funeral Mass and
the Rite of Committal. Music or songs that are not liturgical or appropriate for
the rites can be included at times apart from the funeral rites, for example
during the wake or after the committal service at the cemetery. A parish
assists in choosing fitting music from the many appropriate compositions.
Solos and recordings do not belong in the Rites.
D. The Homily and Words in Remembrance
The homily is important within the Funeral Mass. A priest or a deacon delivers
a homily, since liturgical homilies are part of the sacramental rite of the
Eucharist. Based on the Scriptures just proclaimed, the homily speaks of the
mystery of Christ's death and resurrection and gives the deeper meaning to
the experience of death and dying. The ordained should never resort to
delivering a eulogy for the role of the homily is more significant. Clergy should
not preach the same generic homily at every funeral.
The OCF allows a family member or friend to offer words in remembrance of
the deceased within the Vigil service or the Funeral Mass. This is not a time
for a eulogy. Liturgy always speaks of the mystery of Christ's death and
resurrection, the source of deepest meaning in life. So, anything said within
liturgical prayer should reflect on the grace and goodness of God first and then
life of the deceased in that context.
Because of the sensitivity of these moments, the reflection should be written
ahead of time. The words of remembrance should be no more than three
minutes and submitted in writing to the priest celebrant of the Mass. Extended,
irreverent and solely entertaining speeches are not appropriate.
There is a natural desire to say good things about the deceased after death. A
eulogy is speaking in praise of someone. Words of eulogy, although not fitting
within prayer, could be presented outside of one of the rites when family and
friends are gathered.
We share
the faith of your Son’s disciples &
the hope of the children of God
E. Coming to the cemetery and witnessing the burial
Family and friends should accompany the deceased to the cemetery for burial.
It is becoming more common for a funeral home employee to simply “drop off”
the deceased at the cemetery with no one present, no prayer offered. An
evening funeral may have preceded and there was a sense of conclusion, but
sometimes no services were conducted. But, no one should be buried without
the company of caring people. Family or friends should make the effort to
accompany the deceased to the cemetery. The Rite of Committal is to always
be prayed prior to burial.
F. Cremation
work with families to provide burial space for pre-born children at little
or no cost. Likewise, funeral directors are experienced in helping with
burial arrangements after at such an untimely loss.
2. After donation of body organs or the whole body
Moved by charity, Catholics may donate their whole bodies or organs
from their bodies. The only requirement is proper, reverent cemetery
placement of any remains that are eventually returned afterward. The
family of a donor should celebrate a Memorial Mass after the person's
death. The Rite of Committal with Final Commendation (OCF, nos.
224-233) may conclude with suitable prayers.
3. In time of financial hardship
Burial in a Catholic cemetery is available to every Catholic who is
entitled to a Christian burial. Inability to meet the cemetery costs is no
deterrent to Christian burial. When financial hardship is present, the
parish priest, the funeral director or the family should contact a
Catholic cemetery. The Catholic cemetery, perhaps in conjunction
with public agencies, can provide charitable assistance. Dignity and
respect ought not be withheld in death for those who were poor.
The Church prefers full body burial in consecrated ground. However, since
1963, Catholics may choose cremation. Cremation is allowed as long as there
is no intentional denial of the resurrection of the body. Yet, the choice to
cremate is not the final choice. Cremated remains must be placed in a
cemetery where the Christian faithful are buried. The burial of cremated
remains should be reverent, public, accessible and marked.
Cremated remains should be placed in a cemetery — a grave or a niche — as
soon as possible. The Church prefers cremation after the Vigil and Funeral
Mass, (indirect cremation). Cremation immediately after death (direct
cremation) is permissible with only the cremated remains present at the
funeral rites. Cremated remains are not to be kept or handled differently than a
body. The Church does not permit cremated remains to be scattered over
water or placed in some favorite place because this is the remainder of a
human person. The need to customize or personalize burial rituals should not
lead to unusual and disrespectful cremation placements or practices.
H. Importance of Advance Planning for funeral and burial
G. Special burial situations
1. When a pregnancy ends in a death
Web site: www.cemeteries.org
All life is sacred. Unborn children are to be given reverent burial.
Families can choose to private arrangements after any pregnancy
ends, but they must do so after 20 weeks. Catholic cemeteries will
Death is certain. The time and place of death are not. For many reasons,
advance planning for funeral and burial is best. It avoids handling dozens of
details under the emotional weight of sorrow. Pre-planning avoids
overspending due to grief, while allowing preferences and choices to be
clearly fulfilled. Planning secures a desired location in a particular cemetery.
For more detailed information about any of these topics, contact:
Office for Prayer, Worship & Evangelization
LITURGICAL QUESTIONS AND PASTORAL CONCERNS:
414-769-3349 or 800-769-9373 x349 [10-counties only]
Web site: www.archmil.org/dept/oremus
Archdiocese of Milwaukee Catholic Cemeteries
CEMETERY QUESTIONS:
414-438-4420
Email: guidance@archmil.org
Ask for Cemeteries’ publication: From Grief & Sorrow To Hope & Peace
on the Order of Christian Funerals