The Wonder of Jesus
Dating, Engaged or Married
3.11.2012
One of the common events throughout the life of Jesus was his calling people to follow him.
Here are some of those situations.
John 1:19 – 49 ---- John 2 – The next day …
Peter and Andrew fishing …
Come, follow Me, and I will show you how to fish for people! (Matthew 4:19 NLT)
One of the teachers of the religious law – I’ll follow you wherever you go… “Foxes have holes …”
One of the disciples – someone who was actually part of the group … Let me go home and take care
of my dying father …
Follow Me now. Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead. (Matthew 8:22 NLT)
Matthew sitting in a tax collectors booth
Follow Me and be My disciple. (Matthew 9:9 NLT)
Chose the 12 as Apostles and sent them out to minister
If you refuse to take up your cross and follow Me, you are not worthy of being Mine. (Matthew
10:38 NLT)
Jesus was talking to the disciples about his upcoming arrest and death … Peter said – No Lord
If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your
cross, and follow Me. (Matthew 16:24 NLT)
Rich young man … What must I do to live forever? Obey the commands …
If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and
you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me. (Matthew 19:21 NLT)
Pray ---- Jesus, I want to know you. Make yourself real to me.
I remember ... Pictures ... 'Will you like me?'
A little older - Go out
Going steady ...
Break up...
Historically dating as we know it is a relatively new construct.
For most of human history marriages were arranged by parents or the proverbial matchmaker.
Long engagements were once common.
With arranged marriages and it was not uncommon for parents to pledge/promise their children many
years before the couple were old enough to marry - early childhood.
When the Enlightenment Period idea of individualism became mainstream - love, choice and personal
freedom began to shape relationships.
Love, falling in love, choosing who you would marry started to become part mainstream life.
In the early 1800s young adults began to ‘court’ with the intention of finding a ‘suitable’ marriage
partner - love became the guiding light.
Before the late 1800’s the term ‘dating’ was most often associated with prostitution.
By the 1920’s – the Roaring 20’s – the Jazz Age dating was a social activity and not necessarily
intending to end in marriage.
By the 1930’s it was assumed that a normally adjusted young person would have a consistent ‘dating’
life.
Dating was popular through the 30s, 40s, 50s. 60s and 70s.
It was not until after the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 70s that the ‘old-fashioned’ dating idea
waned in popularity.
Dating was replaced with ‘hook ups’ or 'hang out' in larger groups
The practice has migrated to the idea of ‘friends with benefits.’
Skipping all other formalities and move in … Live together
Barbara - movie ... Dance ... Drive to Portland for dinner ... Telling about movie ... He's going to ask ...
DATING - When dating, you are not really locked down to one person and can play the field.
Checking out the other person to see if it they are right for you.
Recreation, a little excitement.
ENGAGED - An announcement to the world, that your dating days are over.
We are preparing to get married on such and such a date.
You are telling your fiancé I want you and only you.
BUT you have an ‘out.’
If you back out your fiance will not be happy.
The ‘out’ is relatively pain free, low cost or no cost.
MARRIED - You have dated, you have been engaged and now you are ready to commit.
Things will never be the same - most life transforming event
I actually have tried to talk people out of getting married - smoking - 'Thanks - now I don't have a ring!'
Women - AKA
Men - first wife ...
You are going to officially commit yourself.
You are committed to them and they are committed to you.
Thinking about Dating, Engagement and Marriage
Over the years I've watched people who have Dating Faith or maybe a little deeper - Engagement
faith
Like what they hear
Makes them feel better
Makes the week go better
And these are the ones along the path, where the word is sown: when they hear, Satan
immediately comes and takes away the word that is sown in them.
Not interested ... No dating ...
And these are the ones sown on rocky ground: the ones who, when they hear the word,
immediately receive it with joy. And they have no root in themselves, but endure for a while;
then, when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall
away.
Date .... go out once in a while … I like what he says … I like some of his friends …
Dating … doesn’t really change how I think, the choices I make, the trajectory of my life …
And others are the ones sown among thorns. They are those who hear the word, but the
cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and
choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.
Date ... Maybe even engaged ... a little more serious than dating
But those that were sown on the good soil are the ones who hear the word and accept it and
bear fruit, thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold. (Mark 4:14-20 ESV)
This is the only one who 'got married'
Let me show you one more verse …
You've heard this verse ... It has been quoted in hundreds of different settings
You will know the truth and the truth will ... Set you free.
We know that much but not the rest of the verse.
The 1/2 of the verse we know is like the dating or engagement part of the verse
Let me show you the marriage part of the verse
Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful
to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32
You are truly my disciples … not if you just date me … or even if you get a little bit more serious and
get engaged to me …
You are truly my disciples … if you marry me … If you take my name … If I become the only one … If
I’m the one that you will live the rest of your days for … Until death do us part
Then Jesus turned to the Jews who had claimed to believe in him. "If you stick with this, living
out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the
truth, and the truth will free you." (John 8:31-32 The Message)
The promise is not that daters will --- Know the truth and be free
The promise is not that those who get engaged to Jesus --- Know the truth and experience freedom
The promise is that those who marry Jesus will --- Know the truth and be set free
Dating Jesus is a pretty popular thing to do …
Hollywood Celebrities … Politicians … Musicians … Athletes … Business
Easter 2010
Newspapers – carried story about American’s beliefs - Rasmussen Reports (Rasmussen Polls)



85 percent think that the person known to history as Jesus Christ actually walked the earth 2,000
years ago.
78 percent of believe Jesus Christ was resurrected from the dead,
81 percent believe that Jesus was the son of God who came to Earth and died for our sins.
What if the poll was worded differently?
Choose the answer that describes you best
o
o
o
o
I like Jesus
I am dating Jesus
I am more than dating – Engaged to Jesus
I am married to Jesus
The Rasmussen Poll
85% might like Jesus
78% might be dating Jesus
What % are actually married to Jesus?
How would you answer the survey?
One of the most well known events in the life of Jesus – Raising of his friend Lazarus from the dead
I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in Me will live, even after dying. (John
11:25 NLT)
Lucian Samosata (c. 120-c. 180) Greek writer, satirist, and rhetorician
The man who was crucified The Christians, you know, worship a man to this day-the man who
was crucified in Palestine because he introduced this new cult into the world. . . . You see,
these misguided creatures start with the general conviction that they are immortal for all time,
which explains the contempt of death and voluntary self-devotion which are so common
among them; and then it was impressed on them by their original lawgiver that they are all
brothers, from the moment that they are converted, and deny the gods of Greece, and worship
the crucified sage, and live after his laws.
All this they take quite on faith, with the result that they despise all worldly goods alike,
regarding them merely as common property. Lucian, The Death of Peregrine
Pliny the Younger (A.D. 61 or 62 – C. 113) Pliny the Younger was the nephew of the famous
encyclopedist, Pliny the Elder, who died during the eruption of Vesuvius in A.D. 79. He became the
governor of Bithynia in northwestern Turkey early in the second century. In a letter written about 111
to the emperor Trajan (A.D. 98-117), he refers to the burgeoning Christian movement:
I have never been present at an examination of Christians. Consequently, I do not know the
nature of the extent of the punishments usually meted out to them, nor the grounds for
starting an investigation and how far it should be pressed…I have asked them if they are
Christians, and if they admit it, I repeat the question a second and third time, with a warning of
the punishment awaiting them. If they persist, I order them to be led away for execution; for,
whatever the nature of their admission, I am convinced that their stubbornness and
unshakeable obstinacy ought not to go unpunished…
They also declared that the sum total of their guilt or error amounted to no more than this:
they had met regularly before dawn on a fixed day to chant verses alternately amongst
themselves in honour of Christ as if to a god, and also to bind themselves by oath, not for any
criminal purpose, but to abstain from theft, robbery, and adultery,…This made me decide it
was all the more necessary to extract the truth by torture from two slave-women, whom they
call deaconesses. I found nothing but a degenerate sort of cult carried to extravagant lengths.
What about you?
Have you been dating Jesus?
 Hang out
 Go out once in a while
 Like Him
 Like what he says
 I’m not ready to change my name though …
Would you describe yourself as engaged?
 I’ve gotten a little more serious
 I wouldn’t say that I’m just hanging out with him it is more than that
 I’m taking this somewhat serious
Would you describe yourself as married?
 I’ve taken his name
 I don’t make decisions without consulting him
 I know when He’s disappointed with me
 The trajectory of my life is tied to him