Here is part of the first draft of a paper on the importance of computers to college students.
In the last two decades, computers have revolutionize education. From kindergarten through graduate school.
Colleges and universities use them for everything from admiting and registering students, keeping class records and
maintaining academic transcripts, providing acess to library resources, and enhancing instruction.
They are also important to individual professors and students. Professors use computers to prepare and deliver
classroom lectures, to stay current in their fields, to email students and colleagues, and to do scholarly research,
however, computers are also essential tools for students.
Computers are indispensable to writing papers. Word processors make it easier than ever to compose and revise.
Some programs offer templates that can be used to create outlines, listing, focused freewriting, brainstorming, and
other information gathering techniques can practiced on a computer. The Internet can be used to gather information
on everything from atomic physics to the indigenous peoples now living in the Pacific Northwest, to writers of the
Victorian era who were woman. Students can brainstorm about a topic via email, in chat rooms, or simply by
exchanging electronic files. Either over a network or by exchanging discs. Some word processors allow the writer to
draw lines through existing text, then type in revisions for easy comparisons. Eliminating, adding, and moving text,
also known "cutting and pasting" can be done with a few key strokes or clicks of a mouse. Students should save their
work often and print out copies just in case the computer has a problem. For example, hard drives have a habit of
crashing and software programs can develop glitches. Specialized software writing programs can help students
outline, make rough drafts, and revise their papers. Word processors help students edit their work. Most word
processors contain spell checkers and thesauruses. Online handbooks and grammar/rhetoric software programs such
McGraw-Hill’s Allwrite! can be useful when editing.
You should revise your first draft several times—until you are satisfied it says what you want it to say clearly and
completely. Here are a few questions to consider as you revise:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Has my central idea changed? Should I revise my thesis?
Does all the information I have included relate to my thesis? Should I remove any details?
Should I rearrange paragraphs or sentences within paragraphs?
Do I need to add detail?
Is each paragraph focused and unified? Should I combine or divide any paragraphs?
Should I include transitions to improve smoothness and coherence in and between paragraphs.
Below is a revision of the first draft you read above.
In the last two decades, computers have revolutionize education. From kindergarten through graduate school.
Colleges and universities use them for everything from admiting and registering students, keeping class records and
maintaining academic transcripts, providing acess to library resources, and enhancing instruction. They are also
important to individual professors and students. Professors use computers to prepare and deliver classroom lectures,
to stay current in their fields, to email students and colleagues, and to do scholarly research, however, computersare
also essential tools for students. For example, they make drafting, revising, and editing papers easier.
Computers are indispensable to drafting papers. Some word processors even offer templates that can be used to create
outlines, listing, focused freewriting, brainstorming, and other information-gathering techniques can be practiced on a
computer. The Internet can be used to gather information on everything from atomic physics to the indigenous
peoples now living in the Pacific Northwest, to writers of the Victorian era. Moreover, students can brainstorm about
a topic via email, in chat rooms, or simply by sharing electronic files. Either over a network or by exchanging discs.
Computers are indispensable revision tools. Some word processors even allow the writer to draw lines through
existing text, then type in revisions for easy comparisons. Eliminating, adding, and moving text, also known "cutting
and pasting" can be done with a few key strokes or clicks of a mouse.
Specialized software can even walk students through the outlining, drafting, and revising stages.
Word processors also help students edit their work. Most word processors contain spell checkers and thesauruses.
Online handbooks and grammar/rhetoric software programs such McGraw-Hill’s Allwrite! can also be useful when
editing. Students can use these tools to practice grammar, punctuation, diction, sentence structure, and other
important skills. Such programs also contains important information on the inclusion and documentation of
researched information. Whether from printed or electronic sources.
As you can see, the revision contains several changes:
1. Paragraphs 1 and 2 of the first draft have been combined into one paragraph.
2. The essay’s thesis statement has been changed. It now reads: They [computers] make drafting, revising, and editing
papers easier.
NOTE: In this revision, the writer has decided to limit the paper to what appears in section II of the formal outline
above. That is not unusual. Outlines are simply plans, and plans can and often do change once the paper
begins to take shape. In this case, the student has realized that the outline was much too extensive for a short
paper, so the thesis statement had to be revised.
3. Paragraph 3 of the first draft has been divided into three paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of the
writing process.
4. Two sentences from paragraph 3 in the first draft have been removed because they contain information that is not
relevant to the thesis.
5. A topic sentence has been inserted at the beginning of the revision’s third paragraph to improve its focus.
6. Information has been added to paragraph 4 to make it more convincing.
7. Transitions such as also, moreover, and even have been added to improve coherence.
Editing is the stage in which you can correct sentence structure, grammatical, punctuation, diction, spelling, and other
distracting errors in the best of your revised drafts. The paragraphs below indicate such corrections:
In the last two decades, computers have revolutionize education, from kindergarten through graduate school.
Colleges and universities use them for everything from admitting and registering students, keeping class records and
maintaining academic transcripts, providing access to library resources, and enhancing instruction. They are also
important to individual professors and students. Professors use computers to prepare and deliver classroom lectures,
to stay current in their fields, to email students and colleagues, and to do scholarly research. However, computers are
also essential tools for students. They make writing papers easier, offer new ways to communicate and to do
research, and they allow use of specialized learning tools that can enhance learning in specific disciplines.
Computers are indispensable to writing papers. Word processors make composing and revising easier. . Some
programs even offer templates that can be used to create outlines; a computer can be used to practice listing, focused
freewriting, brainstorming, and other information-gathering techniques. . The Internet can be used to gather
information on everything from atomic physics to the indigenous peoples now living in the Pacific Northwest, to
writers of the Victorian era. Moreover, students can brainstorm about a topic via email, in chat rooms, or simply by
sharing electronic files, either over a network or by exchanging discs.
Computers are indispensable revision tools. Some word processors even allow the writer to draw lines through
existing text, then type in revisions for easy comparisons. Eliminating, adding, and moving text, also known "cutting
and pasting," can be done with a few key strokes or clicks of a mouse. Specialized software can even walk students
through the outlining, drafting, and revising stages.
Word processors also help students edit their work. Most word processors contain spell checkers and thesauruses.
Online handbooks and grammar/rhetoric software programs such McGraw-Hill’s Allwrite! can even be useful when
editing. Students can use these tools to practice grammar, punctuation, diction, sentence structure, and other
important skills. Such programs also contains important information on the inclusion and documentation of
researched information, whether from printed or electronic sources.
Here is a summary of the editing changes made above:
In paragraph 1, two spelling errors have been corrected. A fragment in the first line has been corrected, as has a comma
splice in the paragraph’s next-to-last line.
In paragraph 2, the first change eliminates wordiness, the second corrects a comma splice, and the third corrects a
sentence fragment.
In paragraph 3, a comma has been added.
In paragraph 4, a sentence fragment has been corrected.
MAKE SURE TO PROOFREAD
The final step in any writing process is proofreading. That is best done once you have printed out a copy of your edited
final draft. Make sure all the periods and commas are in the right place. Double-check spelling. Remember that computer
spell checkers can’t tell the difference between homonyms, such as there, their, and they’re. Nor do they correct the
spellings of brand names. Finally, make sure you have included proper endings and that your capitalization is correct. For
example, the word revolutionize in the very first line should be revolutionized.