ATTITUDE PACKET #4: SOLVING CONFLICTS
INTRODUCTION
Conflicts occur in everyone's life. Some are solved quickly and easily. Others are
hard to work out and seem to last forever. Whether the conflict is caused by you or
by someone else, it is best if the problem gets resolved quickly. Life seems easier
and more enjoyable when people are getting along with each other.
Conflicts can be solved without shouting or fighting. Problems are best settled by
talking and compromising. Both parties must be willing to listen to one another
and to give something up to solve the problem.
This packet gives you a chance to discover the importance of solving conflicts in
peaceful ways. Perhaps by reading about other students who have problems with
handling conflicts you will realize the need for you to make improvements in this
area.
Alan refuses to cooperate
Alan is in Mrs. Newton’s English class. Although most of the students think she is
a fair teacher, all agree she is hard. Most students do not look forward to having
Mrs. Newton for English. They know there will be lots of work.
Mrs. Newton always expects students to do their best work. In fact, she does not
accept anything less than 100% effort. Students are drilled in spelling and
vocabulary every day. Essays are assigned every week. Everyone has to participate
in class discussions.
Alan knew he might have a problem in her class. He is the type of student who did
not like to work very hard. He just wants to get by with as little work as possible.
He will be happy to just pass the class. Mrs. Newton does not appreciate Alan’s
attitude.
The more she pushed Alan to do his best work, the more he did not like it. Alan
kept his negative feelings to himself. He just frowned at Mrs. Newton from time to
time.
Alan and Mrs. Newton have a difference of opinion about what it means to work
hard. One day as Mrs. Newton was handing back essays, she said to Alan, “this
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
must be done over, it is sloppy work, and I will not accept it.” Alan became angry.
He lost his temper with Mrs. Newton, called her a name and stormed out of the
room. Now the principal is looking for him.
Cathy and Jane see the wisdom in a compromise
Cathy and Jane were co-captains of the cheerleading squad. Although they did not
get along very well, all seemed to go well for awhile. Then it happened. After a
week, Cathy and Jane could not agree on what cheers the squad should do. Cathy
wanted to do more cheers that needed gymnastics. Jane did not know many
gymnastic tricks and wanted to do cheers that involved only mounts and jumps.
The squad was evenly divided. Some agreed with Cathy and others sided with
Jane. Soon the squad was split into two camps. The sponsor could see the girls
were having a problem. She talked with Cathy and Jane.
The discussion resulted in a compromise. Jane agreed to do three cheers that
involved gymnastics and Cathy said she would teach the squad tricks needed for
the cheers. Cathy also said she would not ask for any additional cheers with
gymnastics.
REASONS FOR HAVING A CONFLICT
Conflicts can occur anywhere over just about anything. There are many causes of
conflicts: jealousy, frustration, disappointment, and disagreement are the most
common.
At school, conflicts can happen between a student and a teacher. Disagreement
over a grade, for example, can cause a conflict. Being cut from the basketball team
can cause hard feelings and a conflict with the coach. When the teacher has to
discipline a student, a conflict can occur.
Behind every argument or fight is a conflict. Student conflicts occur over minor
such as not liking the way someone acts or dresses. Letting someone know you
don’t like him can also cause a problem.
Putting someone down or saying nasty things about a person usually leads to some
type of conflict. Being jealous because someone else likes your boyfriend or
girlfriend can also create a problem and a conflict. Arguments can arise over
almost anything.
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
RESULTS OF CONFLICTS
Most conflicts cause bad feelings. Sometimes people get in fights because of a
conflict. Friendships can even be lost over these differences. Two people may
have a disagreement and never speak to each another again. Unfortunately, even
family members separate because of conflicts.
Frustration, anger, guilt, and even fear can come from a conflict. These are not
good feelings and can cause the conflict to become worse.
Some students like to create conflicts. They enjoy giving other people a hard time.
A person like this is considered a bully. No one enjoys being around such a
person.
If you are a person who has conflicts regularly, other people will think you are a
trouble-maker. This should not be a reputation you want. It is better for people to
view you as a person who can solve problems instead of one who causes them.
HOW TO AVOID CONFLICTS
Solving conflicts requires communication. People should try to talk through
problems. If it is a complicated problem, a neutral person (someone who would
not take sides) should be asked to help solve the problem. In the world of work,
such a person is called a “mediator.” This individual is skilled in getting both
parties to look at all sides of the disagreement. Your school counselor may be
willing to be the mediator in some situations. Some schools have mediators who
are students.
Before any conflict can be resolved, both parties must want to solve the problem.
Walking away from the conflict will not solve it. On the other hand, automatically
giving in to the other person’s point of view is not a good way to handle a dispute
either.
A compromise is usually the best solution. As with the cheerleading problem, a
compromise can solve problems. Both parties (like Cathy and Jane) have to give
up something for the problem to be solved. Neither one gives in completely. A
solution that is agreeable to everyone can usually be found.
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
After you talk out a problem and make a compromise you must follow through
with what you said you would do. If you don’t, there will be more hard feelings.
You must do your part to fix the problem.
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
STUDENT RESPONSE FORM #4.l
SOLVING CONFLICTS
Name
Teacher
Date
The questions below were written to help you think about how you behave. Please
answer them honestly. Also be neat, spell correctly and write in complete
sentences. You are expected to answer all the questions. Your teacher, a counselor,
the principal or your parents may read your answers.
1.
What is a conflict?
2.
Describe a recent conflict you had with someone.
3.
Tell how the conflict got solved. If it did not get solved, explain why not.
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
4.
Why do people have conflicts?
5.
Why did Alan and Mrs. Newton have a conflict? How could it have been
avoided?
6.
What are some good ways to resolve conflicts with people?
7.
Why does the school want people to solve conflicts peacefully?
8.
Write a goal that will help you do a better job of avoiding conflicts.
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
STUDENT RESPONSE FORM #4.2
SOLVING CONFLICTS
Name
Teacher
Date
The questions below were written to help you think about how you behave. Please
answer them honestly. Also be neat, spell correctly and write in complete
sentences. You are expected to answer all the questions. Your teacher, a counselor,
the principal or your parents may read your answers.
1.
Why is it important to be able to resolve conflicts?
2.
Explain why communication is needed to solve a conflict. What type of
attitude should both parties have to resolve a problem?
3.
What can happen to a person who earns a reputation for causing conflicts?
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
4.
Why did Cathy and Jane have a conflict?
5.
How was the conflict between Cathy and Jane resolved?
6.
What is a compromise? How can it help solve a conflict?
7.
What is a mediator? How does such a person help people solve problems?
8.
Write a goal that will help you do a better job of solving future conflicts.
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
FILL IN THE BLANKS
#4
Name
Fill in the blanks with the correct word. You may look back to the reading section
for help.
1.
Whether the conflict is caused by you or by someone else, it is best if the
problem gets
quickly.
2.
Conflicts can be resolved without
3.
Both
must be willing to listen to one another and to give
something up to solve the problem.
4.
Mrs. Newton always expects
5.
Conflicts can occur
6.
At school,
7.
Behind every
8.
Putting someone down or saying
leads to some type of conflict.
9.
or fighting.
to do their best work.
over just about anything.
can happen between a student and a teacher.
or fight is a conflict.
things about a person usually
can arise over almost anything.
10.
Most conflicts cause
feelings.
11.
Unfortunately, even
members separate because of conflicts.
12.
If you are a person who has conflicts
are a troublemaker.
13.
Solving conflicts requires
14.
Before any conflict can be
problem.
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
, other people will think you
.
, both parties must want to solve the
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
15.
A
is usually the best solution.
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
UNSCRAMBLE THE WORDS
#4
Name
Unscramble the words below. You may look back to the reading section for help.
1.
finloncct
2.
noutigsh
3.
melrobp
4.
meerpt
5.
scionsusid
6.
pomromcise
7.
jusleao
8.
rumgenta
9.
tilgu
10.
pertuntioa
11.
catcomnumiion
12.
tonsloiu
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
Answers: Attitude Packet #4
1.
Whether the conflict is caused by you or by someone else, it is best if the problem
gets resolved quickly.
2.
Conflicts can be resolved without shouting or fighting.
3.
Both parties must be willing to listen to one another and to give something up to
solve the problem.
4.
Mrs. Newton always expects students to do their best work.
5.
Conflicts can occur anywhere over just about anything.
6.
At school, conflicts can happen between a student and a teacher.
7.
Behind every argument or fight is a conflict.
8.
Putting someone down or saying nasty things about a person usually leads to some
type of conflict.
9.
Arguments can arise over almost anything.
10.
Most coflicts cause bad feelings.
11.
Unfortunately, even family members separate because of conflicts.
12.
If you are a person who has conflits regularly, other people will think you are a
trouble-maker.
13.
Solving conflicts requires communication.
14.
Before any conflict can be resolved, both parties must want to solve the problem.
15.
A compromise is usually the best solution.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Conflict - finloncct
Shouting - noutigsh
Problem - melrobp
Temper - meerpt
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
Discussion - scionsusid
Compromise - pomromcise
Jealous - jusleao
Argument - rumgenta
Guilt - tilgu
Reputation - pertuntioa
Communication - catcomnumiion
Solution - tonsloiu
Attitude Packet #4: Solving Conflicts
©2000 Advantage Press, Inc