There are many bad listening habits, but our concern here will be with the three most common ones:
1. Hysterical Hearing
2. Sloth and Indifference
3. Mental Minutiae
All of us know some words we hate to hear. The variety is great, and our reaction may be strong
when we hear them. Certain four-letter words are rude and vulgar; some nicknames or racial/sexual slang
terms are insulting; many expressions are irritating or confusing—especially if you're not from the place
where they're customarily used. Examples are Wisconsin's "bubblers" (water coolers), North Carolina's
"buggies" (shopping carts), or Minnesota's "rubber" binders" (rubber bands). Then there are the many ways
of saying "soft drink": "soda" in the East, "pop" in the Midwest, "cold drink" in the South. In British usage, a
vest is an undergarment, not a waistcoat; and a muffler is something you wear around your neck.
Language differences can be fun, but they can be less than amusing as well.
As far as effective listening is concerned, our reactions to words constitute an important area to
consider. Sometimes listeners are suddenly "deafened" by hearing certain words or phrases they dislike. In
such cases an entire message, or an important part of it, can be lost forever, and the listener is the loser,
not the speaker.
Make a list now, of up to 10 words or phrases that would render you ineffective as a listener, words
that would make you, personally, the loser as a listener.
1.
6.
2.
7.
3.
8.
4.
9.
5.
10.
The point is to make you aware that words are just words. At least in the present context, the child's adage
is true: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Learn to notice but not
overreact to words that to you are "loaded," words that trigger your emotions. Then you will be the winner in
such speaking/listening situations—for two reasons:
1. The speaker will probably have been made to look foolish or insensitive in most people's eyes
for using words that may hurt or insult others, whereas you will have shown your maturity and lack
of bias by not overreacting.
2. You will have obtained the information that too much emotion would have cheated you of, and
you can probably approach the speaker later one-on one or in the group, and express your opinion
about the speaker's word choice as clearly and as forcefully as you wish. Remember that the
speaker may be completely unaware that the word or phrase is offensive to others.
In sum, hysterical hearing makes for listening losers.
Thinking is hard! Daydreaming is easy, but thinking is hard. To be a good listener, you must fight
relentlessly against the seduction of letting your mind drift away from difficult subjects, involved
explanations, complicated directions, or serious discussions. Paying close attention is particularly hard
when one is listening to information about subjects that seem to you not only difficult but boring as well.
About the only thing a person can do to stay alert and participatory in such situations is to be selfish. Try to
discover something about the listening situation that will somehow work to your advantage. Some positive
benefit to you, personally or professionally, can be derived from almost any academic listening situation:
Become a better educated person
Get a good grade
Important to my career
Sloth and indifference in listening situations disappear very quickly when listeners
1. Discover that they are not at all proficient as listeners in most situations, easy or hard
2. Decide to do something with their education and their lives
Breaking bad academic habits and establishing good ones can only come from the will and resolve
of the student. It can't come from rules and requirements imposed by someone else.
If you suffer from sloth and indifference, face it, and do something about it—today. Do not pretend
to listen by sitting up and looking brightly at the speaker—and meanwhile giving into the twin seductions of
fantasizing and day¬ dreaming. Fight to get something out of the communication for yourself. If you feel
yourself "slip-sliding away," * be tough; be selfish—drag yourself back! (*From a song of the same title by
Paul Simon)
We live in a world of minutiae (pronounced mi-noo-she-uh = trifling, trivial matters). If we pay too
much attention to unimportant things, we trivialize ourselves in the process. Poor drivers, telephone
solicitors, obstreperous persons, senseless laws and rules—all of these and a million more can affect our
concentration, even our health, if we let them. Don't let them!
An important example of mental minutiae is the impression the speaker makes on the listener. A
common listening mistake is "to judge the book by its cover." Speakers may be physically attractive, be well
dressed, and speak in a pleasant voice. Or they may be startlingly unattractive, be badly dressed, and
speak in a monotone. The former may be easier to listen to. But the attributes of the speaker, whether
pleasing or unpleasing, should not be allowed to interfere with listening. If you make up your mind to be a
good listener you can overcome the distractions created by a speaker as successfully and in the same way
as you overcome distractions caused by the environment—such as noise, movement, or temperature.
Eliminating mental minutiae as a factor in listening is sometimes difficult, but it must be done. Much
of what is valuable to learn is available only from sources not gifted with perfection. Remember that the
adult listener—like the adult reader—must assume at least 57 percent of the responsibility for the transfer
of knowledge and information from one human mind to another.
Take a few moments right now
1. To review the three bad listening habits you just read about
2. To contemplate other bad listening habits people might have
3. To make a list of your bad listening habits (including the ones discussed)
1.
4.
2.
5.
3.
6.
Not surprisingly, the good habits that promote effective listening are very similar to those that
promote efficient reading.
Setting a purpose for listening is especially important because listeners must usually behave so
passively during a lecture or speech. If you don't have a specific purpose, your mind will wander almost
immediately after the speaker begins. Decide on your purpose for hearing the talk, write it down at the top
of your notes, and remind and re-remind yourself from time to time just why you are there and what you
want from the speaker.
Don't waste your time, or the speaker's efforts, by pretending to be there when in fact you are there
only in body. The mind, not the body, is the real "self." The body is merely the life-support system for the
mind. Being there, then, means being mentally there—at least as far as effective listening is concerned.
Many important listening situations are mandatory—that is, you must be there! Just accept that
fact, and then make the best of it.
Compulsory listening is not limited to the requirements of academia. Quite often we find ourselves
in a listening situation primarily to please another person. A little-theater production of Our Town may not
be your first choice for a Saturday night's entertainment. But the audience is interesting, and the play can
be too. Being there gives you a chance to slow down and reflect on your life and the lives of others. You
might muse about being an actor yourself, or about living the life of one of the characters. No harm is done,
someone else has been pleased, and you have grown a bit in one way or another. There is almost always
something good to be learned from any informative environment.
In sum, it is important to decide in advance what you want to get from a particular listening
situation, and then to hold that purpose in your mind.
Good listening is hard work, but so is almost everything of real value! It's hard work to maintain a
classic car, or a good relationship. Good basketball doesn't come easily, and neither do good grades in
school. Looking your best every day is a chore, and so is looking for a job. So why do we do these things?
Because the reward is great. So it is with effective listening.
You must push yourself to be an active participant in a speech or lecture. You must make yourself
pay close attention, stay in the room (mentally), and capitalize on your listening speed. Listening speed
(thought speed) is about 500 words per minute (WPM) for most people most of the time (there are times—
when we are frightened or excited—when thought speed may go up as high as 5,000 WPM). In contrast,
speaking speed averages only about 150 WPM. The speaking speed of a Southern politician may be as
low as 100 WPM, and a New England politician may get up to 200 WPM. But the average Englishlanguage rate is around 150 WPM.
What this means is that at least 40 seconds of every minute—over two thirds—is available for
some mental activity other than listening. The important point is what we do with the "bonus time" provided
by our listening speed. We can squander it in daydreaming or flights of fancy. Or we can put it to very good
use.
Ralph Nichols, the "father of effective listening," has suggested several ways of capitalizing on our
listening speed:
1. Try to anticipate the speaker's words (language expectancy).
2. Keep summarizing in your own mind (analysis).
3. Question the speaker's points (evaluation).
4. Listen between the lines (observation).*
Effective listening—paying close, intelligent attention for prolonged periods of time—is quite difficult
to do without mental conditioning. You must practice pushing yourself to ignore both external and internal
distractions, and to take full advantage of your mental powers.
Making full use of your thought speed enables you to listen carefully to the speaker's (audible)
thoughts, ideas, and feelings, and at the same time listen to your own (inaudible) analytical and evaluative
thoughts, ideas, and feelings. In other words, thought speed allows you to internalize and individualize
information.
As in reading, the number one requirement for efficient and effective listening is concentration. All
the other techniques are simply ways to help you learn to concentrate. Because if you can truly turn the
power of your mind to a subject, any subject, you can learn it! The aids to concentration in listening are
very similar to those that help you concentrate when reading.
Interest
We read well when we're interested. We also listen well when we're interested. But there's an
important difference.
When we realize we've "drifted away" from the page, we can go back and pick up the thread again.
(It's rather odd that we can usually find the exact spot where we stopped reading and started only looking
at the words.) With listening, however, going back isn't possible. The speaker is constantly moving forward.
So listeners can't afford to drift away.
As in reading, interest can be a big plus in establishing and maintaining concentration.
1. Try to broaden your interests to include subjects and areas that to you are not naturally or
inherently interesting.
2. Develop and capitalize on your proficiency as an efficient and effective listener—regardless of
the subject. Take most of the responsibility for knowledge transfer away from the speaker, and get
and stay active as a learner.
*Ralph G. Nichols, "Listening As a 10-Part Skill, "Nation's Business, July 1957.
The ability to learn a lot from a poor speaker or a dull topic is in itself very interesting—not many people can
do it.
Resolve
We humans are, chemically speaking, made up mostly of water; and like water, we usually try to
take the path of least resistance. Much of the time this is an OK attitude or mindset. But when we're
listening to things we need to understand and remember, we have to make a determined effort not to drift.
Lyman Steil is probably the most influential person now working in the field of effective listening. He
builds his day-long seminars on a single concept. It is discipline. The disciplined mind is focused, active,
evaluative, and reflective.
The message is clear: Tough minds finish first in listening and reading, and there are specific
measures we must take to build up "mental muscle"—to develop discipline.