The Presbytery, Abbeydorney. (066 7135146)
abbeydorney@dioceseofkerry.ie
rd
33 Sunday in Ordinary Time, 17th November 2013
Dear Parishioner,
This time last week, we were getting early reports on
the huge disaster caused by the typhoon (Haiyan) in the Philippines. In
the week that has passed, we have been reminded in newspaper, radio
and TV coverage of the scale of the disaster and the huge need to help
survivors. As a result of the urgent need for help, the church
collection which was announced last weekend, to help the people of
Syria in their crisis, will be for both places.
The following information comes from a Trócaire letter sent to parishes
in the past few days. ‘This is a major humanitarian crisis and Trocaire is
responding with our Caritas partners – we have already committed
€100,000 to support their work. We are also supporting the work of
Irish missionaries in the affected regions. The international Caritas
Network is putting together an international team to support the effort
and a Trócaire staff member is part of that team. Trócaire’s partner,
Catholic Relief Services (USA, has sent rapid assessment teams to the
typhoon-hit regions. Eight thousand tarpaulins are currently being
distributed to provide temporary shelter for survivors. Agencies working
on the ground are also assessing water and sanitation needs to prevent
the spread of water-bourne diseases, which will be one of the immediate
threats to survivors. Irish public donations will be used to provide water,
food, shelter and medicines to those who are most affected.’
It is a coincidence that, at the time the typhoon hit the Philippines, I had
received a short little holiday report from Orla Mahony, a pupil in
Kilflynn School, of her family’s summer trip to her mother’s home.
“During our holiday in the Philippines, we went to my mom’s hometown
of Pamplon. We attended Mass in the large church there, which is about
two hundred years old. When we went in, we saw two women selling
candles at the side door, which led into a room full of statues. The
patron saint of Pamplon is St. Francis Havier. The Mass was celebrated
in the Tagalog language and also in English.”
I am sure I can speak for all parishioners, when I say that our thoughts
and prayers are with all who are suffering because of natural disasters or
because of conflicts of one kind or another. (Fr. Denis O’Mahony)
There Is No Death!
Whether you’re a parent or a priest, it is difficult to find the right words
to comfort the bereaved.
Recently I met a priest friend in Dublin’s Botanic Gardens. It was a
convenient venue for him as he was coming from a funeral in Glasnevin
Cemetery, the third burial he had officiated at in a week. I had attended
five funerals in the previous two months. We discussed how difficult it
is to find words to comfort a bereaved family. At one of the funerals I
attended, the priest said, “There is no death.” I saw the amazed reaction
of teenagers near me. A 52-year-old man, the father of one of their
classmates lay in the coffin. Everybody in that congregation knew the
man was dead. Even though what the priest said was correct, I saw
little comfort for the family in those words.
At another funeral, the priest said this was not a time to grieve. It was
time to celebrate the life of the deceased. As his grandchildren brought
up his paint brushes, a painting he loved, a football jersey and a picture
of his wife who predeceased him, there was a sense of celebrating a rich,
fulfilled life. There was hardly a dry eye in the church during the prayer
of the faithful. The man’s son got so choked up with emotion that he
struggled to finish the prayer. Crying is a normal grief response to the
death of someone you love. Grieving is what people do when they
attend a funeral. My friend said that most priests want the Mass to be a
meaningful celebration. They feel uncomfortable, when they don’t
know the deceased personally. There’s bound to be awkwardness when
the death resulted from an accident, a suicide, or when there is a bitter
family feud. I asked would he like my views on the words of comfort
that I would find meaningful. He offered a polite ‘no’ and changed the
topic.
Finding words of comfort is an even greater challenge for the parent of
a teenager in shock and grief at the death of a friend. Almost every
teenager knows someone who has died by suicide. Teens seem to think
of tragic deaths as cruel, tragic and painful. Death is frightening. It’s
difficult to find meaning when you watch a coffin lowered into a
dark, cold grave. After teenage suicide, schools offer counselling to
students to help heal the trauma. One fear is of copycat suicides; another
that students will get into a cycle of grief and guilt because they blame
themselves for doing something that led to unhappiness. When bullying
is involved, students who stood by and did nothing to report what went
on may feel enormous guilt. No loving parent or friend wants a child
to grieve so long that they lose the desire to study or want to stop
living. When someone is so overcome with grief that he or she cannot
go on, the upset is not about the bereaved. The healing of such strong
emotions starts with the awareness that inconsolable grief is triggered
when some external upset affects an existing deep hurt that needs to be
addressed.
Whether you are a priest or a parent, what you say to comfort others
reflects your own belief about death and the afterlife. Author Iyanla
Vanzant says, “You grieve because you will miss the person. If you are
not careful, the spirit of grief can take over your life, causing you to miss
the joy, peace and love that lie within you and ahead of you.” Her
suggestion is that you grieve until you feel comforted enough to live in
gratitude and without fear. “Grieve until you can accept what has
happened without resistance. Grieve until you can let go of what was.”
Until Today! is her beautifully written book of daily reflections. On
15th July, she writes, ‘People never really die. They leave their bodies.
They end their physical existence in order to continue their spiritual
journey in another form, on another plane. A person who has entered
the realm of existence we call death is never beyond your love. Once
you know a person, you will always know a person. Once you have
loved a person, your love will keep them alive.’
Another Vanzant insight is, ‘Death is an essential part of life that
teaches us to believe in what we can see. Life continues after death as
long as you remember that warmth of another’s smile, the gentleness of
their touch, the meaning they brought to your life.’ The wisdom in her
words gives meaning to the priest’s statement “There is no death.” This
rings true for believers and non-believers alike. A funeral will always
reflect people’s grief, as well as being a celebration of a life well lived.
In the future, when I go to a funeral, I’ll have the comfort of
understanding that “There is no death.”
(Carmel Wynne in her column, Christian Parenting,
in Reality Magazine, November 2013.)
God is in everyone’s life. Even if the life of a person has been a disaster,
even if it is destroyed by vices, drugs or anything else – God is in this
person’s life. You can, you must try to seek God in every human life.
Although the life of a person is a land full of thorns and weeds, there is
always a space in which the good seed can grow. You have to trust God.
(Pope Francis in Reality Magazine, November 2013)
St. Columban: The memorial of St. Columban occurs on 23rd
November. Columban or Columbanus is remembered as one of the
greatest of the Irish missionary monks. Born in Leinster around 543, he
became a monk in Bangor. In 591, desiring to ‘go on pilgrimage for
Christ’, with the approval of the abbot, St. Comgall, he set out with
twelve companions and came to Burgundy. He founded monasteries at
Annegray, Luxeuil and Fontaine. These monasteries followed the severe
Irish rule, which included absolute obedience and corporal punishment.
Columban’s monasteries also kept the Irish date for Easter, introduced
Irish penitential practices and having a bishop subordinate to the abbot.
Banished for his criticism of the moral life of a local king, he made his
way through Switzerland to Bergenz on Lake Constance, in modern day
Austria, working as a missionary with St. Gall for some time. Then
crossing the Alps into Lombardy, he founded his last and greatest
monastery at Bobbio around 613. He died there on 23rd November 615.
(Columbanus in his own words by the late Cardinal Tomás O Fiaich,
first published in 1974, is available again from Veritas Publications.)
The Deep End * Fashion changes, style endures.
We are reading the final chapters of the Gospel of Luke for Year C.
Jesus is in Jerusalem and the passages we hear are about end times. The
people gathered are obviously excited, having seen how magnificent the
Temple is, having coming ‘up from the country’ and Jesus is trying to
calm them down. The time for excitement might not be just yet. Jesus
reminds them, and us, that these things are short-lived and we should not
be too bothered about ‘fine stonework’ and ‘votive offerings’. These
things do not last. Jesus’ main warning is not to believe many who
will come claiming to know when the end times will be. A series of
quotations from Jesus follows in which he gives comfort to the people
about various crises that will happen. Luke is almost giving us a
subsequent history of the Christian community. It is not all doom and
gloom, but we need to take perspective and look at the bigger picture.
Endurance is the message of today’s Gospel. The people of Jerusalem
will witness the destruction of the Temple, the disciples will face
persecution, people of faith will have tough times ahead. Whatever
crisis may come, Jesus is affirming us to keep going, to stay focussed
and not be afraid.
‘Lord, when we are young, we think that we become great through our
achievements. Life has taught us the truth of Jesus’ words: ‘It is by
endurance that we win our lives.’ (Michel De Verteuil’)
(The piece on St. Columban and the Deep End are taken from
Intercom Magazine, November 2013)