THE ADVENTURES OF GOPAL BON
based on stories told by Srila Prabhupada
dramatized by Dasarath Suta Das
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NOTE: The dialogue for this play has been directly extracted from the transcriptions of Srila
Prabhupada's spoken words in the following conversations:
* Morning Walk, Calcutta, January 30, 1973
* Room Conversation, August 11, 1973, Paris
* Morning Walk, February 10, 1975, Los Angeles
* Morning Walk, June 4, 1976, Los Angeles
* Room Conversation, June 28, 1976, New Vrindavan
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CAST:Narrator, Gopal Bon, Nawab, Minister.
Narrator: There was once a famous joker in ancient Bengal named Gopal Bon. He was jester in
the court of Raja Krishna Chandra, during the period of Mohammedan rule. Formerly
kings used to keep one funny man because the kings are always full of anxiety, and the
court jester would give them a laugh to help them relax. Sometimes the joker even
insults the king, and the king enjoys that insult. So here we will see how our Gopal Bon
gets into mischief with the Mohammedan Nawab (Governor) who ruled over the
kingdom of Bengal in days of yore.
Nawab: Gopal Bon, I have heard you are very expert. Can you write a book similar to the
Mahabharata, but about me and my kingdom?
Gopal: Oh, yes! I'll engage many panditas, and we will make a grand Mahabharata that narrates
your activities, your glories, everything. Just give me one hundred thousand rupees, and
we will begin.
Nawab: All right, here, you can take it.
Narrator: A week later, Gopal Bon returned to the Nawab for more money.
Gopal: Dear Nawab, the work on your Mahabharata is going on very nicely. Just give me
another ten thousand rupees.
Nawab: All right, here, you can take it.
Narrator: A week later, Gopal Bon returned to the Nawab for more money.
Gopal: Dear Nawab, the work on your Mahabharata is going on very nicely. Just give me
another ten thousand rupees.
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Nawab: All right, here, you can take it.
Narrator: A week later, Gopal Bon returned to the Nawab for still more money.
Gopal: Dear Nawab, the work on your Mahabharata is going on very nicely. Just give me
another ten thousand rupees.
Nawab: Gopal Bon, when will the book be finished? You have already taken so much money!
Gopal: Yes, yes, it is just on the verge of being finished. It will take only a few days more. Just
give me another ten thousand rupees.
Nawab: All right, here, you can take it.
Narrator: A few days later, Gopal Bon returned to the Nawab for more money.
Gopal: Dear Nawab, the work on your Mahabharata is going on very nicely. Just give me
another ten thousand rupees.
Nawab: Gopal Bon, you told me the book would be finished in just a few days! You have already
taken so much money, now where is my Mahabharata?
Gopal: Now, sir, everything is already prepared. Only one last bit of information remains that is
very essential. You must give me those details, and then the Mahabharata will be
finished.
Nawab: What is that information?
Gopal: The one missing detail is
Nawab: Huh?
Gopal: How many husbands does your wife have?
Nawab: This is very insulting! What kind of nonsense are you asking?!
Gopal: Well, that is the main subject matter of the Mahabharata. Draupadi had five husbands,
but you are such a great person, your wife must have at least one dozen.
Nawab: That is the subject matter of the Mahabharata?
Gopal: Yes, that is the only subject matter, that Draupadi had five husbands. You are such a big
Nawab, your wife must have at least one dozen husbands. So please give me their
names. Otherwise, how can I finish your Mahabharata?
Nawab: (becoming very angry) Don't talk all this nonsense! No, no, I don't want you to write
something like that. I am the only husband of my wife!
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Gopal: Then I cannot finish your Mahabharata. How can I write it without this central feature?
Nawab:
is the difference between you and an ass?
Gopal: (immediately measures the distance from the Nawab to himself) It is three feet only,
sir. The difference is only three feet. (everyone begins to laugh)
Nawab: Very funny! Now get out of here! (Gopal leaves, giggling with a smirk)
Narrator: So Gopal Bon's great Mahabharata, supposedly glorifying the puffed-up Nawab, was
never finished... if it was ever started in the first place!
Nawab: Minister, I just have to get even with that rascal, Gopal Bon. Perhaps you would be
willing to help me fulfill my wish. I hear that Gopal Bon is constructing a new house.
And because the house is not yet established according to traditional rituals, no
activities like passing stool are permitted therein. But if you go to his house and
somehow evacuate before the opening ceremony and thus pollute the new construction,
then I'll give you one thousand rupees.
Minister: Yes, Your Majesty, I'll go and do it. I won't fail you, I promise. (he goes to Gopal
Bon's house) Gopal Bon! Oh! I am very much called by nature. Kindly show me where
your privy is. I have to pass stool.
Gopal: (aside to audience) Now why has this man come here just to evacuate? I can understand
that something suspicious is going on! (addresses Minister) Yes, yes, dear Minister,
come in, come in, come in. My new privy in just in here. (he opens the door and
brings in a big stick)
Minister: Why you have brought that big stick?
Gopal: The door must stay open. You pass stool there, and I'll just see that you pass only stool.
Yes, you can pass stool, but if you pass one drop of urine, I'll kill you!
Minister: How is it possible to pass stool but not pass even a drop of urine?
Gopal: No, it is possible! You can pass stool, but you cannot pass urine. If you pass urine, then I
shall kill you!
Minister: Aren't you being a bit absurd with such an unusual request?
Gopal: Certainly not! You said you came here to pass stool; that you can do here, but I forbid you
to pass urine.
Minister: Well, I don't think I can follow your ridiculous rule!
Gopal: If it is not possible, then I cannot allow you to pass anything in my new house! Yes, this is
my policy. Have a nice day!
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COMMENTARY BY SRILA PRABHUPADA
Narrator: These are some of the historical anecdotes of ancient Bengal narrated to us by Srila
Prabhupada. Of course, His Divine Grace always quoted these stories in support of some point of
Krishna conscious philosophy that he happened to be preaching at the moment. For example, he
told the story of Gopal Bon's bogus Mahabharata in relation to his criticism of the rascal scientists,
who attempt to produce life by chemical manipulation but still manage to earn financial support by
their empty promises of future success. Prabhupada said during a Room Conversation, June 28,
1976, in New Vrindavan:
So these rascal scientists are doing like that. They are writing Gopal Bon's
Mahabharata, and the rascal government is paying them. At the end, they ask how
many husbands your wife has got. They'll never be able to produce anything. When
you challenge them, they r
foolish that they believe in this?
Regarding the incident of the King's man trying to evacuate in Gopal Bon's unfinished
house, Srila Prabhupada compared this to his own position of constantly traveling around the world,
but still having no permanent residence. He stated during a Morning Walk, February 10, 1975, in
Los Angeles:
Krishna has given me hundreds of such places but His order is
I don't wish to divert your attention. Very interesting story. That is also mentioned in
the Bhagavad... aniketa. One may have many nice places to live; still, he should
He used this same anecdote another time in reference to some meeting where apparently he
was invited to speak, but wasn't provided a microphone that was necessary for the people in the
room to hear him. He said during a Room Conversation, August 11, 1973, Paris:
So these, these foolish scientific men,
But creating such position, it is not.
Regarding the insult delivered by Gopal Bon comparing the king to an ass, Srila Prabhupada
extensively related the following topics during a Morning Walk in Calcutta, January 30, 1973:
Although Krishna is not conquerable, but He likes to be conquered by His
devotee. That is the position. Just like He willingly placed Himself to be conquered
by Mother Yashoda, to be conquered by Radharani, to be conquered by His friends.
Krishna became defeated and He has to take His friend on the shoulder. Practically
sometimes we see that a king keeps a joker amongst his associates, and sometimes
the joker insults the king, and the king enjoys. The joker sometimes... Just like there
what is the difference between
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sometimes it is required.
So Krishna also... Everyone praises Him in exalted position. Everyone. That is
Krishna's position the Supreme Lord. In Vaikuntha, there is only praising. There
is no such thing as insult. But in Vrindavan Krishna is free to accept insult from His
devotee. The people do not know that, what is Vrindavan life. So devotees are so
come in. He flatters the other gopis:
The End
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