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TEACHING NOTES
For
On Being a Man: The Private Matter of Domestic Violence Against Men
By Mary Big Bow, MSW
Learning Objectives:
 Explore theories that best explain domestic violence
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Identify strategies to maintain personal safety working as a family violence advocate that assess degrees and lethality of injuries
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Explore and create list of ways advocates can prevent burn out and apathy
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Identify and evaluate personal biases that arise during class
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Identify major problem areas faced by families in perpetual crisis
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Provide a written critical analysis of the case analyzing current practices in prevention, protection and justice regarding domestic violence
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Evaluate research about families facing crisis and domestic violence
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Be able to apply various interventions to assist in problem solving
 Identify myths and stereotypes of domestic violence victims and perpetrators.
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Become knowledgeable and create a list of resources available for families in family violence crisis
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Become aware of the prevalence of domestic violence in the media
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Evaluate personalized safety plan
 Explore participants’ understanding of and attitudes about men’s motivations about getting involved in preventing gender-based violence?
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List and recognize cultural differences that impede or create alliances for family violence prevention
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Recognize and define cultural competent practices in domestic violence among
Native American communities and other cultures
Intended Audience:
This case study is intended for domestic violence advocates, social work, human service and nursing students. Objectives may also be adjusted for law enforcement personnel who work with domestic violence issues, K-12 teachers, counselors, and administrators.
Major concepts and vocabulary
Assumptions
Domestic abuse
Domestic violence
Dilemma
Safety plan
Sexual assault
Dilemma
Research Reliability
Critical analysis
Confidentiality
Stereotypes
Oppression
Cultural identity
Assessment
Ethnicity
Intervention
White privilege
Case Study
Informed Consent Empirical Research
Privacy
Research Validity
Hypothesis
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Implementation Suggestions:
This case can be taught in a single class around structured discussion questions and tasks designed to elucidate the course objectives.
It can also be taught as part of a larger course in the following manner:
Break five sessions into three hour blocks with breaks at the instructor’s discretion.
Depending on the size of the class, divide students into small groups of 3-5 people. This number is best to enable discussion.
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Pre-work: Students are asked to read a packet of articles on domestic violence issues prior to the first meeting. The packet of reading materials includes required, recommended, and further reading. The case study is required as well.
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Required Reading: o The Hidden Victims of Domestic Violence, Nancy Wolf o Why Men Should Care About Gender Stereotypes, Alex Gibson o Be A Man, Steven Botkin
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Recommended Reading: o Domestic Violence: An Overview, C.J. Newton
Day 1
 For the pre and post test, students are asked to read the case study and provide a critical analysis-they are given a rubric but this is not explained in anyway. This same request, provide a critical analysis, rubric and case study is given to them at the end of the class. These tests are used to measure outcomes of the class
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As an introduction students are asked to create a poster that depicts their personal identity. Who are they, where did they come from, what gifts do they bring to the class, personal characteristics, ethnicity. . .
 Next students discuss the case within their groups and provide their impressions about what is going on. Depending on how many groups there are, the instructor may assign questions for each group or have each group answer all the questions and compare and discuss. o What personal assumptions and attitudes do you have about men OR women that may challenge the work you do with them as a domestic violence advocate? o What are some of the costs to men conforming to dominant masculine roles? o What are some of the costs to women conforming to dominant feminine roles? o Why would Trinity not report her husband as physically abusive? o Why would Charlie be anxious about reporting his wife as physically abusive? o Are we more likely to excuse a women’s behavior because we try to justify the anger behind the aggression? o Are we more likely to not excuse a man’s aggressive behavior because we discount the anger behind the aggression?
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mbigbow 6/09 o Are we more likely to accept reasons for a woman’s anger as justified? o Are we more likely to not accept the reasons for a man’s anger as justified? o The final questions to develop along with a discussion are lists each group prepared with how stereotypes, myths, and assumptions are assigned to each victim and perpetrator and the difference in attitude and treatment when they are either male or female.
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As one of the last exercises in day 1, the group(s) is asked to develop a poster of reasons that prevent people from getting involved in family violence prevention.
This can also be used from many perspectives such as a family violence prevention agency attempting to recruit community members and/or bring awareness to their communities. The exercise connects to the next assignments and class meeting. o What stereotypes would get in the way of your work? o Why is it important to work with men and boys on violence prevention now? o Do you expect men to play a role in preventing violence against women without any benefit to themselves? Why or why not?
o What are some of the benefits of ending violence for men?
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By the end of the first day, students are given assignments to be completed before the next class. They are also given a resource list of area domestic violence programs-they must assess through this what is available for: children, women, and men and apply this to the safety plan. They create a personalized safety plan for Charlie and/or Trinity. Sample safety plan is provided. Finally, a reading list is again provided, including Making the Case to Men and Boys.
Day 2
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Required Reading: o Male Victims of Domestic Violence: A Substantive and Methodological
Research Review, Michael S. Kimmel o Cain’s to Blame, Daniel M. Huff o What Men and Boys Can Do, Family Violence Prevention Fund
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Recommended Reading: o Lethality Assessment tools: A Critical Analysis, Neil Websdale
 Students are asked to role play a position of “Not my business” intended to motivate men and women who may be resistant or reluctant participants of preventing family violence. This exercise can be used to bring characters from the case study to life. Example: What would you as an advocate say to: Charlie,
Trinity, the social worker working with Trinity when Lucy was slammed, the police, to Principle Sanchez, Charlie and Trinity’s neighbors: o Every person plays an advocate trying to convince another person to become involved in preventing family violence. Others volunteer to resist becoming involved in preventing family violence. The list of myths, stereotypes and assumptions from the previous day are used. These
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mbigbow 6/09 myths, stereotypes or assumptions may be drawn from a hat or chosen by each student.
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The above is used as an opening discussion in breaking through personal biases and thinking more deeply into prevention activities for various family members experiencing violence.
 The final exercise for the second day is “The big picture”. Here, group(s) develops a power chart. This exercise is aimed as a way to discuss experiences of oppression by both men and women. Also brainstorming ways to challenge oppression from varying perspectives. A sample chart is adapted from Oakland
Men’s Project. Factors such as gender, age, economic status, less privileged and more privileged are included. This is an intense exercise for most; therefore the instructor must leave enough time to debrief. Also making resources available for people who may need more time is recommended.
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Questions you may consider for this exercise are: o What are masculinities? How is understanding the concept of masculinities useful for designing work with men and boys on preventing family violence. o What are some of the socialization processes for shaping boys into men that may encourage men to use violence or sanction the use of violence? o Why do you think it’s important to take cultural differences into account when working with people to stop family violence? o What are some consequences of attempting to engage people of color if you ignore culture and cultural differences? o Why do you think it’s important to get to know your own culture when building alliances with other groups? o What generalizations might be useful for building meaningful alliances with these groups?
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For the final day, students are given a list to read, including an article on race and white privilege.
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Required Reading: o White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, Peggy McIntosh o Stay Safe Brochure, American Bar Association Commission on Domestic
Violence
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Recommended Reading: o Lethality Assessment
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Further Reading: o References Examining Assaults by Women on Their Spouses or Male
Partners: an Annotated Bibliography, Martin S. Fiebert
Day 3
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The discussion following the article on race and white privilege is conducted during first part of the day and looks at how privilege works. Due to the intensity of this exercise, a good deal of time is needed to discuss and process. As part of this exercise each student responds to McIntosh’s list from the Privileged Path.
Each student answers the following: o What happened during this exercise? o What feelings came up for you?
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mbigbow 6/09 o What did you learn? o What surprised you? o What would you like to learn more about o How does this apply to men? To women? o How does this exercise in privilege resemble family violence?
 An important point to make throughout the class and stress during the last day is how can advocates stay safe and how they can develop habits in self care to prevent apathy and burn out.
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Part of the class debriefing is to have students discuss and create posters about what they can do to prevent family violence.
The pre and post test asks the following:
1.
Is there a dilemma? What is it? How to assess it?
2.
Are there ethical issues involved, if so what are they?
3.
Who is involved (identifying stakeholders)?
4.
Who should be involved?
5.
As a domestic violence advocate, prioritize what steps should be taken: a.
With each stakeholder
6.
Identify resources in the community/outside of the community
7.
What interventions apply in this situation?
8.
What are alternative outcomes to this situation
9.
Identify 3-4 resolutions
REFERENCES
American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence & Tort Trial & Insurance
Practice section (n. d.). Staying safe brochure
American Psychological Association (2009) Violence at home.
http://www.apa.org/pi/violenceathome.html
Anderson, T.H. (2008). Speaking the unspeakable: Sexually abused men striving toward language.
American Journal of Men’s Health
2, 29-
Barber, C.F. (2008). Domestic violence against men. Nursing Standard 22, 35-
Bevan, E. & Higgens, D.J. (2002). Is domestic violence learned: The contribution of five forms of child maltreatment to men’s violence and adjustment. Journal of Family
Violence , 17, 223-245.
Botkin, Steven ( 1999 ). Be a man. Retrieved from http://toolkit.endabuse.org/Resources/Refusing.html
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Bushman, B. J., Baumeister, R. F. & Phillips, C. M. (2001). Do people aggress to improve their mood? Catharsis beliefs, affect regulation opportunity, and aggressive responding. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 81, 17-32.
Center for Disease Control and Prevention (2009) Understanding intimate partner violence http://www.ndvh.org/educate/abuse_in_america.html
Dobash, R. & Dobash R. (1992). Women, violence, and social change. New York:
Routledge.
Family Violence Prevention Fund (2004). What men and boys can do .
Retrieved from http://toolkit.endabuse.org/WhyMenAndBoys.html
Fiebert, Martin S. (2009 January). References examining assaults by women on their spouses or male partners: An annotated bibliography retrieved from http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
Gibson, Alex (n.d.). Why men should care about gender stereotypes.
Retrieved February
7, 2009 from http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/2008/02/men_stereotypes
Hines, D.A. et al. (2007). Characteristics of callers to domestic abuse helpline for men.
Journal of Family Violence . 22, 68
Houston, E. et al. (2007). Intimate partner abuse among gay and bisexual men: Risk correlates and health outcomes. Journal of Urban Health . 84, 681
Huff, Daniel M. (1997 ) Cain’s to blame. Retrieved from http://www.safe4all.org/essays/cains_to_blame.html
Kimmel, Michael S. (n.d.) Male Victims of Domestic Violence: A Substantive and
Methodological Research Review (Published as “Gender Symmetry in Domestic
Violence: A Substantive and Methodological Research Review) in Violence Against Women , (2002)
.
Lethality Assessment. (n. d.) Retrieved from http://www.ihs.gov/medicalprograms/MCH/W/WHdownloads/LethalityAssessment df
McIntosh, Peggy. ( n.d.) White privilege: unpacking the invisible knapsack. This excerpted essay is from the Winter 1990 issue of Independent School.
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Newton, C.J. (2001). Domestic violence: An overview . Retrieved from http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/domestic-violence/domestic-violencereferences.html
Reid, R.J. et al. (2008). Intimate partner violence among men: Prevalence, chronicity, and health effects. American Journal of Preventative Medicine 34, 478-
Schechter, S. (1982) Women and male violence. Boston, MA: South End Press
Stolenberg, J. (2000). Refusing to be a man. UCL Press
Swinford, S.P., DeMaris, A., Cernkovich, S.A., & Giordano, P.C. (2000). Harsh physical discipline in childhood and violence in later romantic involvements: the mediating role of problem behaviors, Journal of Marriage and the Family , 62, 508-519
The rights of battered men.
www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/domesticviolence.html#batteredmen
Tjaden, P & Thoennes, N. (2000), Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and
Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the
National Violence Against Women Survey, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781 available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/183781.htm
U. S. Department of Health and Human Services (2009) http://www.4woman.gov/violence/prevent/civil.cfm
.
Websdale, N. (2000, February). Lethality Assessment Tools: A critical analysis .
Harrisburg, PA: VAWnet, a project of the National Resource Center on Domestic
Violence/Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Retrieved May/17/2009, from: http://www.vawnet.org
Wolf, N (2001). The hidden victims of domestic violence.
Retrieved from www.safe4all.org/essays/hidden_victims.html
Wolfe, D. A., Wekerle, C., Scott, K., Straatman, A.-L., & Grasley, C. (2004). Predicting abuse in adolescent dating relationships over 1 year: The role of child maltreatment and trauma. Journal of Abnormal Psychology , 113, 406-415.
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