The Church of St. Andrew the Apostle
The Messenger
Rectors Message
God Works Through People
Jan/Feb 2016
Inside this issue:
Flower Donations , 3
Thank You, Altar
Guild, Chili Contest
Munson’s Candy
Fundraiser
4
Pasta Dinner
Benefit
5
TGIF, Outreach ,
Prayer Shawl
6
Celebrating
Cindy Kershaw
7-8
One of the wonderful things about
being your rector is often hearing
positive and kind words of
encouragement. This happens,
blessedly, all the time. On two
occasions recently I received what are
called “back-handed” compliments.
These are compliments that, given a
quick ponder, are insulting. Both were
from beautiful people who I strongly
believe delivered them inadvertently. It
got me thinking about that beautiful
verse from Romans, “All things work
for the good for them that love God
and are called according to his
purposes” and so I thought I would
turn it back around and share a little
teaching on “the gift of a compliment.”
It has been a fun topic to research.
Sincere compliments are one of the
most exceptional components of a
healthy social life. If given both
authentically and correctly, they create
so much positive energy that makes
things happen as if by magic. They ease
the atmosphere around two people and
kindly dispose people to each other.
Compliments derive from taking notice
of praiseworthy situations. They are a
mark of awareness and consciousness.
The late George Fosdick, for example,
cultivated this awareness, and as I read
my Bible, so did our Lord Jesus Christ.
Christ is, indeed, lavish in his praise.
What really caught my eye was he
extended this to what were called at the
time “pagans,” in other words, all
people. He said of the centurion who
pleaded with him to heal his servant,
“Not even in Israel have I found such
faith.” To the Canaanite woman who
implored him to heal her daughter, our
Lord gave this tribute: “Oh, woman,
great is your faith.” I could go on and
on from the one (and only) “foreign”
leper who returned to thank Jesus for
his healing to the “good Samaritan.” I
will say it again, Jesus was lavish in his
praise. To be a follower of the Christ,
then, obligates a person to praise others,
to give honest and sincere compliments,
and to express appreciation and
gratitude. In other words, Christ’s
example teaches the graciousness of
kind, thoughtful words that validate the
virtues of others and creates that
positive energy that makes things
happen as if by “magic.”
Compliments are little gifts of love.
They are not asked for or demanded.
They are powerful gifts. They always,
however, need to be genuine. A faux
flattery is usually highly transparent. In
my research I discovered most folks do
notice others’ good work and deeds.
However, we often tend to keep it to
ourselves. They key is that once
praiseworthy situations are noticed, the
awareness needs to be spoken. In other
words, the compliment needs to be put
forth into the world in spoken form.
Much research suggests those who give
(continued)
Rector’s Message (continued)..
compliments benefit greatly by giving them! Focusing on and noticing good qualities in others and the world
around us gives our mood a boost all by itself!
If compliments are a gift from a donor, their reception is equally a gift - a return gift to the giver. I was surprised to
learn that research on this subject has found that many women, in particular, discount compliments. They are far
too hard on themselves. For example, if someone says, “Wow, you look great today,” the response is often “Oh,
but I feel so fat (ugly) today.” This instantly sucks the positivity out of the air and deflates the donor. As my twin
teenaged daughters would say, “awkward!”
There is only one way to receive a compliment: graciously and with a smile. I have learned to “inhale”
compliments and allow that positive energy to work its magic! Then, as a follower of the Christ, I do my very best
to pass the gift along…
Love in Christ,
Father Bill +
Altar Flowers and Sanctuary Lamp
The sign-up sheets for weekly flowers and sanctuary lamp for 2016 are now up and ready to be filled out. For
those of you who are not familiar with this, here is an explanation of the two:
Altar flowers: The sign-up sheet for altar flowers is in the back of the church, hanging on the wall as you exit
the church. If you wish to sign up for flowers, please fill out your name and who you are remembering or
celebrating next to the date you desire. The cost is $40.00. This is our cost to the florist. After the 10:30
service (or 9:00 a.m. service in the summer), the flowers are yours to keep! Please take them home with you.
The container that they are in needs to be returned to the church after you have enjoyed your flowers at home.
You can leave the container in the sacristy, the church office, or the kitchen. When paying for the flowers, be
sure to write “altar flowers” in the memo of your check, or on the envelope if paying with cash.
Sanctuary lamp: The suggested cost of the sanctuary lamp is $10.00. The sign-up sheet is on the back table.
Simply fill out your name with who you are remembering or celebrating next to the date you desire. When
paying for the sanctuary lamp, be sure to write “sanctuary lamp” in the memo of your check or in the envelope
if paying with cash.
Thank you
Thank you everyone for your generous contributions of toys! It was another successful year. The Church of the
Good Shepherd in Hartford appreciates our generosity. The toys were distributed on Three Kings Day and we
made a lot of children happy. Thank you again for your support with this important ministry.
Larry and Ethel Anderson
Altar Guild
As I made out the upcoming schedule for Altar Guild, I see there are a few gaps. I think it is time to think about
training new members. Altar Guild responsibilities are important and really easy to learn. You are never
working alone; we work as teams. Please, if anyone wishes to even think about being part of the team of Altar
Guild, contact me. I am more than willing to talk with you, even show you what we do and hope you can be
added to the Altar Guild.
And as far as the present members, I cherish every single one for all they do in preparing the Altar for every
service! Thank you very much. Judy Glynn, 860-830-6189.
Chili Contest
The Parishioner Involvement Committee will be holding a Chili Contest to be held after the 10:30 service on
March 13th. We would like to invite parishioners to participate by either signing up to enter their chili or to
come and be a taster and help us find the best chili. Save the date! A sign up sheet is in the back for chili
makers and chili tasters!
MUNSON’s CANDY Fundraiser!! Help our youth fund their Mission Trip!
Looking for a “sweet” way to support the youth of our “sweet little church” who will be attending
The Hartford Project mission trip this summer?
Please consider purchasing some scrumptious Munson’s candy during our fundraising event that
promises delivery in time for Easter!
Delicious products include chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, specialty chocolate bars and many other
treats which will make a delectable addition to your Easter baskets!
Please see a member of our Youth Group or check out the brochure in the back of the church to
purchase some goodies for your families, friends, neighbors or yourself. Payment will be due when
placing your order.
Questions? Contact Cathy Hinsch at (860) 343-1814 or kchinsch@sbcglobal.net
Pasta Dinner to Benefit Youth Group Mission Trip
Saturday, February 6th at 5:30 p.m., in Church Hall
Tasty food and live entertainment will nourish your body and your funny bone at the “How I Met
Your Mother” Pasta Dinner presented by the Youth Group. Our Youth Group members look
forward to their fourth mission trip to The Hartford Project, where they will serve those in need in
Connecticut’s Capital City. Please come out and support our youth by purchasing tickets after both
services. Tickets will also be available at the door!
Tickets: $5 per person, $15 per family
Menu includes pasta with red or white sauce, meatballs, salad, garlic bread and dessert!
Need a ride to the dinner? Have any questions? Please contact Mary Manwaring at
(860) 563-4643 or manwring@att.net or Cathy Hinsch at (860) 343-1814 or kchinsch@sbcglobal.net
Mark your calendar today for Feb. 6 pasta dinner!
TGIF
TGIF will meet on Friday, February 19. We will have a Beauty Counter consultant share product information and
talk to us about safe vs unsafe ingredients in makeup and skin products. Bring something to eat, something to drink
and a little spending money to pamper yourself. We will sample some of the lovely products...this is the stuff I use
myself (mostly).
Outreach Committee
Outreach Committee will meet Wednesday, February 24 at 7:00 in the Wells Room. Newcomers are welcome!
Prayer Shawl Ministry
Our Prayer Shawl Ministry has been meeting for twelve years now. It's a simple ministry that has brought comfort
and joy to many. For example: The birth of a child, graduation, illness or grief. The Prayer Shawl Ministry was
initiated in 1998 by women who graduated from the Women's Leadership Institute at the Hartford Seminary. They
were encouraged to carry on the spirit of the class through some kind of project. That is how the Prayer Shawl
Ministry had its beginning and it has spread throughout the world. Knitting a simple shawl has allowed us to share
our love with others and be a witness for God's love for us all. We meet on the second Wednesday of the month in
the Well's room at 7 PM, except this month we will we will meet on Tuesday, February 9th, since it is Ash
Wednesday on the 10th.
Jean Miller-Smith
Mary Laing Has A New Email
Mary Laing has a new personal email. Please delete the previous sbcglobal one.
New email is : marylaing57@gmail.com.
You can also reach her at laingma@rockyhillps.com
Celebrating the Life of Cindy Kershaw
On January 8, our beloved Cindy Kershaw entered into God's Light and Love. While we rejoice that she is no longer
suffering & is healthy once again on the other side of Eternity, a huge void has been left by her passing. While others
may have been closer to Cindy and knew her better/longer than me, I feel compelled to share with you, my beloved
church family, my thoughts about Cindy.
Cindy's imprint is everywhere at St. Andrew's: from her handiwork in the banners in the church, Father Bill's
vestments, curtains in various places, etc. to the work she did with the Shawl Ministry, Newcomer Breakfasts,
pie-making for the Pumpkin Fest, organizing the tea presentations with the Lasko's, & endless other areas.
My last time with Cindy at church was after services in late summer/early fall. She was continuing to get cancer
treatment; but was ever-optimistic about her prognosis. Then throughout the fall, Cindy's name was on the Prayer
list and when I asked about her status, I became worried when told “Cindy is not doing well. .. ..”, which eventually
became, “there's nothing more that can be done for Cindy.” I was greatly saddened, but hoped that maybe she'd
have a miracle & might recover; but this was not to be.
In December, plans were made to revive our Christmas caroling tradition. I was conflicted about whether to sing
carols to Cindy, Jean Blomqvist, & George Fosdick on 12/20/15. Did I want my final memories of Cindy, Jean, &
George to be ones of them ailing & weakened by illness or should I remember them while active & healthy?
Because I had shed so many tears the night before the caroling, did I want to risk crying before them? Ultimately
through prayer & calming down, I DID go to sing carols. I am very happy that I did (& I did NOT cry)! With Cindy,
in particular, I had a final chance to tell her that I love her (& she returned the sentiment), to kiss her, & to show her
the beautiful scarf I was wearing, that she had knit. In fact, she said something like, “I thought I had made the scarf
you're wearing”!
Father Bill is well-known for his outstanding homilies to those who have left this earthly life. I felt he really “knocked
one out of the park” with Cindy's homily (just couldn't resist a baseball analogy)! His final tribute with a standing
ovation & applause for our Precious Cindy was amazing!!
The afternoon following Cindy's funeral, several church family members drove down to Cindy's lovely home on
Cedar Lake in Chester at her family's invitation. Many who gathered there were family members, friends, neighbors,
& even one of Cindy's college friends with whom I had a nice conversation. I heard many positive comments about
Father Bill, his homily, the wake, the service, and our church family! Delicious food & drink were plentiful as was
wonderful conversation, filled with smiles, laughter, & warm memories. The atmosphere at Cindy's home reminded
me of the many enjoyable ECW picnics at her sweet little home; just with different people & sadly without Cindy,
whose spirit, nonetheless, was present.
Later Friday evening, the celebration of Cindy continued at our monthly TGIF meeting. Many of us wore purple
(Cindy's favorite color) and we ate many yummy baked goods & sipped tea, including the delightful Courtship Tea,
created by our dear friends Donna & Ron Lasko. Cindy's closest friend Jean Miller-Smith reminded us that Cindy
also liked red wine, so we had that too! I read a dedication & poem about Cindy by the Lasko's, which is included in
this Messenger. (The night before, I had a most enjoyable talk with Donna, whom I called to make sure they knew
of Cindy's passing. Of course, they DID know, thanks to communication with Cindy's daughter Laura, Father Bill, &
Carol LaBella). We had a delightful evening at TGIF, sharing our memories of Cindy.
I wrote Father Bill that I felt that Cindy's wake & funeral (on 1/14 & 1/15/16) certainly brought out the best in the
members of her family/friends & her church family who make up the sweet, joyful place called St. Andrew's church:
loving, welcoming, warm, & uplifting. Cindy's wake & funeral were reflective of a tribute to the spirit, love, kindness,
& boundless energy that Cindy brought to us in her much too-short life. I feel that that we must now continue to
show the same spirit, love, & kindness she shared with us.
Although it was very sad to say good bye to a unique, precious soul in Cindy, I feel a sense of peace & yes, joy about
the way we paid tribute to her. May Cindy rest in Peace Always! With Love & Tears, Pat Kuh
A Dedication and Poem to Cindy Kershaw from Donna & Ron Lasko
This poem is dedicated to the loving memory of the inspirational Cindy Kershaw who left this life on January
8, 2016. Cindy was a truly incredible human being and it was a privilege to have known her and to have her
as a loving friend those last 20 years. Cindy is the author of “MY GOOD GRIEF-A Journey Through Joy and
Sorrow” – which is a book of poetry and essays about her personal journey through life that is inspirational
Reading for all of us. Ten years ago upon hearing that our son in law James Darling was to undergo a bone
Marrow transplant, Cindy took it upon herself to knit and send him a prayer shawl. The transplant was
Successful and our son in law remains well. Thankyou Cindy for being a loving friend always filled with
Love, joy, hope and inspiration. This poem is for you, Cindy. – Donna & Ron Lasko
“GRIEF SHOULD NOT TRUMP JOY”
As long as there is Beauty,
There will be Poets.
As long as there is Love,
There will be Poetry.
As long as the Human Journey connects us,
Joy is there.
As long as there is Sorrow,
There will be Poets.
As long as there is Parting,
There will be Poetry.
As long as the Human Journey divides us,
There will be Grief.
Your voice will be forever,
Echoed in our Souls.
For Grief –
Should Not Trump Joy!
This poem and essay honoring Cindy Kershaw will be published in Donna Lasko’s book of Poetry combined
With essays by Donna and Ron in 2016.
Copyright 2016, by Donna & Ron Lasko, All rights reserved
The Church of St. Andrew
The Apostle
331 Orchard Street
Rocky Hill, CT 06067
Phone: 860-529-7622
Email: office@thechurchofstandrew.org
The Church of St.
Andrew the Apostle
331 Orchard Street
Rocky Hill, CT
06067
February Birthdays: Cathy Hinsch, Sue Coleman, Chris Markiewicz,
Becky Rodbourn, Deb Elliott, Sara Laing, Maya Curry, Ginny Rowland,
Brent St. Jacques, Herb Northrop, Larry Nitch, Dick Arnold, Leslie
Masiello, John Pazdziora, Max Ball, Fr. John Rogers