CHARACTER TRAITS
TRUSTWORTHY
dependable, reliable, loyal
UNRELIABLE
changeable, variable, undependable
1. Conceptual definitions of being trustworthy and unreliable, and how we can acquirre
and develop it in ourselves
A trustworthy person is someone in whom we can place our trust and rest assured that the
trust will not be betrayed. A person can prove his trustworthiness by fulfilling an assigned
responsibility - and as an extension of that, to not let down our expectations. In some cases,
the responsibility is something tangible such as returning a borrowed item or making good on
a specific promise. Other times, trustworthiness is demonstrated in more abstract ways, such
as keeping a secret. Overall, trustworthiness means that you can rely on another to do as he or
she promised. It is the consistent integrity between thoughts, words, and actions. However,
trustworthiness is not often established overnight. It takes time to build initial feelings of trust
and worth and integrity must be constantly proven over time.
“10 Principles of Trustworthy People”
-Adapted from DVM News Magazine by Carl A. Osborne, DVM, PhD, Dipl. ACVIM
1. Because trust is based on truth, trustworthy people must be truthful.
Trustworthy people know that it's not enough to possess a truth; the truth must possess them.
After we learn someone has lied to us, we often are reluctant to trust the person in future
interactions – even when what he or she says is actually true.
2. Trustworthy people are honest.
Trustworthy people are honest in that there is an inherent connection between their words and
feelings with their thoughts and actions. They do not think one thing and speak another.
When we bad mouth people behind their back and sweet-talk them to their face, we
undermine trust. Trustworthy people do not take what belongs to others, whether it is ideas,
statements, credit or possessions, without their permission. They share successes by giving
credit where credit is due.
3. Trustworthy people are reliable; they keep their promises.
Being trustworthy means honoring your commitments. This includes keeping appointments
and upholding promises, whether they are with friends, teachers, strangers, or family
members. An easy way to inspire trust is through punctuality; it reflect your respect for
others’ time.
4. Trustworthy people are loyal.
They try to be especially loyal to those who are not present. By defending those who are
absent, we retain and build the trust of those who are present in that they believe we would do
the same for them.
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5. Trustworthy people are not biased or prejudiced.
They strive to attribute good motives to the actions of other people. We are all prone to being
too quick to blame others when things do not go as planned. Being quick to question the
motives of others is not a sign of trust. We usually give ourselves credit for having good
motives for what we say and do and we should do the same for other people.
6. Trustworthy people are humble, recognizing that the truth may not always be with them.
They interact with others on the assumption that they do not have all the answers and all the
insights. Trustworthy people don't have a superior attitude; rather, they value the viewpoints,
judgments and experiences of others. Therefore, trustworthy people try to understand others'
viewpoints, while maintaining their own commitment to proper values and principles. Having
the inner strength to be humble, especially during times of provocation, is often the difference
between those who command and those who demand respect.
7. Trustworthy people are accountable.
They try to recognize, admit and accept responsibility for their own mistakes. If they say
things they didn't intend to say, especially under times of stress, they are quick to apologize.
They recognize that anger often gets them into trouble, but it is pride that keeps them there.
8. Trustworthy people are cooperative.
Trustworthy people recognize and respect rules and policies. However, they also realize that
that just because they have the right to do it, doesn't mean that it is right to do it.
9. Trustworthy people are just.
They are just not only to those who are just with them, but also with those who endeavor to
injure them. Trustworthy people strive to return kindness for offense and patience for
impatience.
10. Trustworthy people promote communication and understanding.
Trustworthy people understand that open and honest communication is built on a foundation
of trust. It is difficult if not impossible to be viewed as trustworthy without communicating it
through our words and actions.
In summary, trustworthiness is gained by more than just thoughts and words. It requires
unwavering conduct in a manner deserving of others’ trust. However, if trustworthiness is to
grow, still more is required. Our conduct must be motivated by trusting others, in addition to
our desire to be trusted by them. Trust is a two-way street. To reach its greatest potential, it
must allow interaction in two directions. To paraphrase the golden rule, we strive to trust
others, as we would have them trust us.
Unreliability: The opposite of trustworthiness
Being unreliable often leads to a reduction in others’ perception of your trustworthiness.
Obviously, if you are caught lying or deceiving people, they will consider you to be of
untrustworthy character. However, it is important to realize that simply promising to do
something and not following through also has negative consequences. Unreliable people
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often make grand promises that they cannot keep. Although many of us have had to break a
promise in the past, it is the pattern of broken promises that makes us unreliable. If
circumstances outside our control force us to have to break a promise, we must communicate
this with honesty and sincerity. Then, we must make a renewed effort NOT to break promises
in the future to avoid being viewed as unworthy of trust. After all, once others consider a
person as untrustworthy, they will tend to be cautious in dealing with that person or may
avoid him or her all together.
“Few things help an individual more than to place
responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust
him.”
- Booker T. Washington, American educator, author, and leader of the AfricanAmerican community.
2. Cultural views of trustworthiness
Although there are a variety of culture views of trustworthiness, perhaps most interesting is the
differences in trust between individuals of different cultures. In their investigation of trust
expectancies, Rotenberg & Cedra (1994) found that Native American children expected a
Caucasian child to be less likely to keep promises, keep secrets, and tell the truth than a Native
American child. Thus, it seems that even from a young age, we view those within our own
culture as more trustworthy than those from other cultures, absent any other individual
differences. However, research also suggests that we can overcome these patterns simply by
focusing on each other as individuals, rather than just as members of a particular group.
“A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust
anyone else.”
- Cardinal De Retz, French churchman
3. Readings and Examples of trustworthiness from literature, movies, and/or real life
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Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, talks about his vision for Trustworthy Computing
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The story of the “Emperor’s new clothes”
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Article from Princeton University on the facial characteristics that we perceive as
trustworthy.
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•
Article from Global Ethics University on “The Worth of Trustworthiness.” – NOTE:
MAY BE COPYRIGHT ISSUES
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Brief story from “Foundation for a Better Life” about what it means to be a
trustworthy friend.
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Article outlining the implications of trustworthiness in the workplace.
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Article from the Denver Post regarding American’s trust in President-Elect Obama
“The team that trusts--their leader and each other--is
more likely to be successful.”
- Mike Krzyzewski, head coach of Duke Blue Devils men’s baseketball team
4. Effects of trustworthiness and unreliability in interpersonal relationships
Others like to deal with you
People like to deal with those they can trust. This is true in all aspects of life. We want to believe
that individuals in public service such as police officers and physicians are worthy of our trust.
We prefer salespeople who are honest and genuine. Supervisors gravitate toward workers they
know will be reliable and show up on time each day. In our relationships, trustworthiness often
leads to new responsibilities and opportunities because others’ feel assured of our personal
integrity and that they will not be let down.
You feel good about yourself
If you are honest, do as promised, and are capable of taking on responsibility, then you feel good
about yourself. You feel that you have integrity and cannot be influenced by negative, outside
forces trying to bring you down. You feel self-respect, knowing that you are worthy of others'
trust.
In contrast, unreliability has very serious negative consequences in interpersonal relationships.
Because our connections with those around us are build on trust, being unreliable often leads to a
break down in close relationships. When make promises that we cannot or do not keep, we
communicate a lack of respect for them. In effect, we are saying that our own personal desires are
more important than theirs are.
5. How we communicate trustworthiness
Perhaps the most effective way to communicate trustworthiness is through sincerity and honesty.
Although these two concepts are related, they are also distinct. Sincerity is the quality of being
earnest and open in our communication with others. Honesty is speaking and acting in
accordance with the truth. However, to be considered trustworthy, we must communicate
honestly and sincerely.
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When we communicate with those we trust and that trust us, we can make mistakes in our verbal
communication, and still find that they understand our true meaning. When the level of trust is
low, however, others may not believe even our most eloquent words. To foster trust, trustworthy
people strive to share ideas and rationale for their positions and desires, while maintaining
genuine respect for others' ideas and perspectives. Why? Because they have learned that when
trust is low, communication is exhausting, time-consuming and often ineffective.
"Trust each other again and again. When the trust level
gets high enough, people transcend apparent limits,
discovering new and awesome abilities for which they were
previously unaware.”
- David Armistead, successful economist and strategic planning consultant
6. How unreliability is minimized within ourselves
Minimizing our own unreliability is conceptually easy but much more difficult in reality. It
begins with the decision and the desire to be a trustworthy and reliable person. Once we decide to
be trustworthy, we must speak and act in accordance with this desire. That is, we should only
make promises that we intend to keep and follow through on those promises even when it is
difficult or inconvenient.
In many ways, being trustworthy is closely related to other orientation and connectedness in that
it places more value on our connection to others than on our personal needs. Sometimes, being
honest and reliable requires sacrifice for the sake of others. For example, imagine you’ve
promised a friend that you would help them move, but then was offered tickets to a concert on
that same day. A trustworthy person would realize that he or she must sacrifice the concert
tickets to uphold the commitment to their friend.
“We can gain no lasting peace if we approach it with
suspicion and mistrust or with fear. We can gain it only
if we proceed with the understanding, the confidence,
and the courage which flow from conviction.”
- Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd president of the United States
7. How trustworthiness can be carried to an extreme
We should always strive to be worthy of others’ trust. However, there may be times when we
make more promises or commitments than we can keep. A large part of being trustworthy
involves being honest with ourselves about our own limitations. We need to “know when to say
no.” It is impossible to meet every obligation or request that others make of us. In turn, to
maintain our own trustworthiness, we must learn to foresee when we may not be able to keep a
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promise and choose not to make that promise at all. It is important to realize that others will still
view us as trustworthy if we are truthful and tell them that we will not be able to meet an
obligation upfront. It is only when we cannot fulfill our promises that we have already made that
we become untrustworthy.
“It is impossible to go through life without trust: that is
to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all, oneself.”
- Graham Greene, English novelist
9. Other viewpoints and questions for discussion
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•
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If you want someone to trust you, who has most of the responsibility— you or the
other person? Why?
How is trustworthiness related to honesty?
How do you know if you can trust someone?
Are you more trustworthy in some of your relationships than in others? Why?
“The
only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust
him.”
- Henry L. Stimson, U.S. Secretary of State during WWII
Journal Entries
1. Some adults say that your generation cannot be trusted, that you've lost the values
from past generations. Do you agree, or disagree?
2. As a general policy, should we start off trusting people and only stop trusting if they
prove that they're not worthy? Or should we be cautious and not trust them until they
prove themselves worthy? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each
position?
In Class Activities
•
As a class, brainstorm all the excuses and rationalizations people give for lying,
cheating, and stealing, and then have a discussion about them. How valid are they?
What's wrong with each of them?
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•
Many people complain that political leaders cannot be trusted. Develop a checklist for
evaluating the trustworthiness of political leaders. Test out your checklist by listening
to a politician speaking on TV. You can see entire speeches on C-SPAN.
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