3 Parenting Styles And Their Effect On The Social Behavior Of Children
by: Birgitte Coste
What type of parent are you? Beginning with studies in the 1960s, 3 parenting styles have
emerged to help understand and explain the behavior and development of children.
Observing the impact that parents have on child development has been a fascination for
researchers and sociologists throughout the years; but, it was the work of Diane Baumrind that
defined the idea of distinct parenting styles and the effects each method has on behavior,
social skills, and maturity.
Baumrind’s theory is based on the two vital elements of parental responsiveness, which
includes warmth, ‘supportiveness’, and acceptance, and parental demandingness, which
considers disciplinary strategies and methods of behavior control. The job of a parent is to
influence, teach, and direct their children to become secure, happy, independent adults, and
such things as communication styles, expectations, and parenting techniques can either help or
hinder this process.
Of course, categorizing specific styles and identifying predicted outcomes is limited since few
parents will fit unquestionably into only one style. Most people use a mixture of techniques,
and two parents may differ in their beliefs and philosophies even though they are raising the
same child. Individual personalities, social environments, and the presence of other authority
figures in a child’s life cannot be overlooked when evaluating the effects of parenting on child
development. No one can deny that sometimes children raised in the same home grow up to be
very different, while children raised in seemingly opposite environments may be equal when
measured according to Baumrind’s ideas of maturity and social adjustment.
Baumrind’s theory provides a great guideline in helping parents identify valuable techniques
and recognizing areas that need change, but it should only be used as a framework to build
upon. Each parent needs to define their own child’s needs and work to effectively meet those
needs, focusing on the individual and using the concept of parenting styles as a tool to help
children become strong, happy, healthy adults.
1. Authoritarian. This style is defined as high demandingness and low responsiveness, meaning
that parents have very high levels of expectation and very low tolerance for individuality,
creativity, or personal desires. They shape, control, and judge behavior based on an absolute
set of standards and demand that rules should be obeyed without question. Tradition,
predictability, and rigid order are valued, and failure to follow the rules is not tolerated.
Behavior is controlled by punishment. Authoritarian parents have a very black and white point
of view and children are always being judged or evaluated based on this distinction, making
them either ‘good or bad’ or ‘right or wrong’. There is no middle ground and no room for
discussion or communication. Policies are not explained, nor do parents feel it is necessary
since unquestionable obedience is expected. The goal is for children to behave as adults,
assume mature responsibilities, and conform to expectations.
Children raised in strict, authoritarian homes are often anxious and withdrawn, have low selfesteem because they are unable to live up to expectations, and usually do not engage in
deviant behavior. Since most decisions are made for them, they tend to not be good at
independent thinking, rank lower in social competence, and are unwilling to try new things.
They tend to react poorly to frustrations and are have difficulties in dealing creatively with
challenges. Basically, these children obey out of fear of punishment and their behavior is
dictated by external elements.
2. Permissive. This style is defined by high responsiveness, but low demandingness. Permissive
parents are very indulgent and respond well to their child’s desires and have very few
expectations. They use reasoning, manipulation, and bribes to achieve control and want to be
their child’s friend rather than an authority figure. They believe that children should be
treated as equals and given a high level of autonomy; however, they do not expect them to
behave as adults. This may lead to a self-centered, ‘me’ focused attitude with little regard for
the needs of others. Rigid rules are considered to be restrictive and children are included in
the decision making process, with all policies being open for discussion and dispute. Permissive
parents are usually afraid of confrontation so discipline is rare. Although they have very few
expectations, they are very accepting of their children’s desires and interests and encourage
them to pursue every opportunity.
Unfortunately, a complete lack of limits often results in insecurity. Children do not know what
they can count on and will regularly test the limits, knowing that their parents will do
whatever necessary to avoid conflict. Children raised in permissive homes tend to be impulsive,
rebellious, are more likely to engage in experimentative, sometimes even problematic
behavior. Since they are treated as equals, they have good communication skills, but may
exhibit poor emotional regulation and tend to give up easily when faced with a challenge.
**Baumrind would describe the specific aforementioned parenting style as permissiveindulgent (high response, low demand). However, she adds another version of permissive,
which is permissive-indifferent (low response, low demand). Include both in your chart.
3. Authoritative. This parenting style is basically a ‘middle ground’ or combination of the
previous two. It is defined by a high level of demandingness balanced with an equally high level
of responsiveness. Parents are supportive rather than punitive; however, they do have a clear
standard of behavioral expectations. The authoritative parent will ‘direct’ rather than ‘control’
and strive to accept the individuality and interests of each child. They provide reasons for rules
and welcome feedback, both listening and respecting their children’s point of view. Children
are given a certain degree of say, with the knowledge that the parent is the final authority.
Punishment is not usually used to prevent bad behavior, and children are encouraged to fulfill
their potential and make their own decisions within a controlled framework of boundaries.
Diana Baumrind was a strong proponent of authoritative parenting. She believed that positive
attention, fair rules, and a warm, accepting environment lead to happy, well-adjusted children
who are self-confident, capable, and goal-oriented. Research has shown that these children
have well developed social skills, work to master tasks, and are able to think both
independently and creatively.
The 3 parenting styles introduced by Baumrind help parents evaluate their techniques and
develop their own positive strategies so they can effectively raise happy children who grow to
become secure, responsible, independent adults.