Ming Qi and Iain Ross Ballantyne Bolton
September 25, 2004
Greeting
Presentation
Prayer
Message to the couple
Reading and Music
Vows
Ring Vows
Conclusion
Benediction
Kiss
GREETING:
Russell: Mawidge...mawidge is what bwings us togewer today... Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement, that dweam
wiffim a dweam...(from The Princess Bride)
<Russell clear throat>
Welcome to all and thank you for being here to share in and celebrate the marriage of Ming Qi and Iain Ross Ballantyne Bolton.
More than just a ceremony, this is an extremely significant moment of human celebration and personal commitment. I remind you
of the power of this ritual time we will spend together. All of us have stepped out of our normal routine and have entered into a
special time and a special place. We gather in this time beyond time at the center of the world, the axis mundi, to witness this rite
of passage. I welcome each of you, not, I trust, as spectators, but as participants. No man, no woman, no person exists alone.
Each is part of a larger community, the human family. And when a woman and a man come to be wed, their union exists not alone
but as part of the larger family. You all have made your own special contributions to the lives of Ming and Iain and have your
own special contributions to make to this occasion. For all the love, support and understanding you have given Ming and Iain over
the years, they sincerely thank each of you, family and friends. Let me add that the contribution you have made to their lives has
not been taken lightly by them. They have grown in your care to be fine persons. It has been your actions and your words that
have shaped their lives. I can assure you that their appreciation for all your assistance throughout their lives to this day stretches
beyond their ability to express their feelings in words. All of you are important to Ming and Iain. It is you who know them and
love them. Your who share in their joys and sorrows, and you whom they love. You have been a vital part of their past and it is
fitting that you should participate in this celebration of their marriage, this definition of their future life. You presence here is an
active indication of your love for them ad pledge of your support offered to them in their relationship as husband and wife. They
ask you to laugh with them, pray for them, and when the occasion calls, to cry with them. Because you are so important to them,
they will draw strength from your residence here today and throughout their lives. So, indeed, I welcome you to this sacred and
joyous occasion. At the same time I wish to direct our attention to those who wished to be here but were too far away or ill to
attend---Ming's paternal grandparents Jin- Tao Qi and Ai-Qing Zhou, Ming's uncle once removed Dr. Ming-Xiang Zhao, the Qi
family's good friends Mr. and Mrs. Alvin Smith, Dr. Helen Koo, Iain's uncle Alan Walker and his wife Jessie, and Iain's aunt
Judith Taylor. Ming wished us to remember at this time , her maternal grandparents, the late Fu-Yuan Feng and Lian-Bi Zhao, and
her maternal great uncle, the late Yi-Fu Zhao. Iain requested that we remember his maternal grandparents, the late John "jock"
Stewart and Agnes Ross Walker, his paternal grandparents, the late J. Dixon and Dorothy Bolton, and his maternal uncle once
removed the late Mr. Albert Ross. All of us, the present, the absent, and those that have already ended this earthly pilgrimage
provide a rich context for the marriage of these two persons.
This wedding furthermore, leads us to a time of celebration. All of us come to realize that we will never see all that can be seen,
we will never do all that could be done, that we will never take in all that could be taken in, that we will never find all that could be
found, but the covenant that is made here today reminds us that these two have chosen one another, have loved and do love one
another, have pledged to one another that they together will see all they can see, do all that they can do, take in all that they can
take in, find all they can find together. They enter by choice into another of the concentric circles of life, and circle of life bound
together not by the authority of the church or the power of the state, but by the integrity of their promises. The commitment that
led them to this altar is miraculous and true, fervent and right because it derives from the best in these two persons. For this reason
alone, this is a time for celebration just as it is a time for remembrance.
I would like to remind you of the rhythm of married life, which reflects the rhythm of life. Marriage, or life together, moves
through cycles and therefore is not static. We know the tides change; they come in and go out. We know that planes take off and
they land. We know the earth pushes up here and recedes there and then, in due time, rearranges itself again. You breathe in, the
blood circulates through the lungs and then to the body and back again as you breathe out and in, time and again. Your
relationship is alive, too, and will move through phases while you mature together. There will be difficult times and effortless
intervals--dawn follows night and daylight eventually fades into darkness. These poles we call opposites by they are all part of the
cycle of day, the cycle of your lives, the cycle of our lives together, the cycle of the whole creation. Do everything in your power
to allow your love for each other to inform your life. "Always be gentle, kind and compassionate, patient to a fault, and deeply
committed to forgiveness. I also want to remind you of the paradoxical manner of truth. You can only find yourself, by losing
yourself. You can best find happiness if you don't chase after it, but allow it to find you in the midst of a worthwhile task. Love
can only be kept dear by giving it away and love is given perfectly which it is received by another. In love, you will embrace both
independence and interdependence. If you continue to keep these precepts in your mind as you live your lives, Mind and Iain, you
will not only live a blessed life together, but you will bless all of us.
PRESENTATION: Who presents this woman today in this celebration of marriage?
Jianguo: Her mother and I do.
PRAYER: God, we thank you for the gifts of life, of joy, of happiness, of love, of friendship, and of family. We give you special
thanks for this occasion, for Ming and Iain who have chosen, with your help, to pledge their love and faithfulness to one another.
We thank you for the homes from which they have come, for parents and families and friends who have shared such love with
them that they in turn have learned to share love and life with one another. Fill them with such joy and love that they may build a
home where no one is a stranger. May it be a place not only of private joy and retreat but also a place where the values which they
hold dear are upheld. Fill Ming and Iain with such love that their lives may reflect your compassion for a humanity. May their
love for each other not blind them to the brokenness in the world. As you enable them to bind up each other's wounds, so assist
them in healing the hurts of others. As their mutual respect orders their common life, direct them to share also in the shaping of a
society in which human dignity may flourish and abound. May their concern for peace and justice in the world, their compassion
for the poor and powerless, their care for the earth grow with their relationship. AMEN
MESSAGE TO THE COUPLE: Ming and Iain, you have discovered a love that is rich in all things that are wonderful and good.
As you continue to discover and enjoy the richness of your love you will grow, never losing your individuality but becoming more
and more a part of each other. With endless patience you will live in each other's lives, feeling one another's joys and sorrows as if
they were your own. Remembering that as you share your lives there must be recognition of the other. there should be spaces in
your togetherness. Observe one another's space with utmost good faith, yet have a willingness to listen and share. For only by
being a whole person can you maintain and develop the wonder, the freedom of spirit that brought you together so that you stand
before us today. do everything is your power to allow your love for each other to grow and nurture you as you meld together in
one life.
READINGS:
Native American Poem:
I am purified and free and I will not allow yout o ignore me.
I have brought you a gift; it is all I have but it is yours.
You may reach out and enfold it.
It is only the strength in the caress of a gentle breeze,
but it will carry you to meet the eagle in the sky.
John Bolton--I Corinthians 13
Jianguo--Reading from Confucius
Barry Green—Solo—“Sunrise, Sunset” by Bock from Fiddler on the Roof
PRELUDE TO THE VOWS: When two individuals meet, so do two private worlds. Ming and Iain come from rich cultural
backgrounds, which shaped them to be the unique individuals that they are. These two young people standing in front of you are
every bit of their parents, grandparents, family and cultural influence of Eastern and Western ideals. Interestingly, the story of
today had begun years before fortuitously. When Ming's family came to the United States over a decade ago, when Ming and Iain
both separately and independently chose to attend the University of Virginia where they met--in some sense, Jianguo and
Zhengqian made ti much easier for Iain for find Ming by moving to virginia, at least it saved him a trip halfway around the globe.
Being the only child and the centers to their parents' respective universes, Ming and Iain will learn to accept each other's
stubbornness and unique perspective. They will pass on the rich cultural heritage of their own backgrounds and teach their
children to lvoe and accept all people from all walks of life. They are two young persons who found each other when the time was
right and they recognize each other as their consummate complement.
VOWS:
Ming and Iain, you are standing together to make your vows. the vows you are about to make are the means of making solid and
final all the promises you have made to one another; these vows are the foundation for the rest of your lives. Join hands and face
one another as you repeat these vows. Look at one another so that you remember this moment in time. These vows will take you
across a threshold in life, and things will never be, and should not be, the same for through these vows you, Ming, say to the world:
"this is my husband," and you Iain say: "This is my wife."
Iain, repeat after me: I, Iain, take you, Ming, as my friend and wife. I promise to share my like openly with you; to speak the truth
to you in love; to comfort you in time of need; and I promise to share my love and respect for you throughout our life.
Ming, repeat after me: I, Ming, take you,Iain, as my friend and husband. I promise to share my like openly with you; to speak the
truth to you in love; to comfort you in time of need; and I promise to share my love and respect for you throughout our life.
PERSONALIZED VOWS:
Iain —pinning the Ross clan tartan and welcoming Ming to the family.
Ming --today we promise to dedicate ourselves completely to each other, with body, speech, and mind. In this life, in every
situation, in wealth or poverty, in health or sickness, in happiness or difficulty, we will work to help each other perfectly. The
purpose of our relationship will be to attain enlightenment by perfecting our kindness and compassion toward all sentient beings.
Furthermore, I promise not to squish the pancakes; I promise not to undercook the eggs or overcook the bacon; I promise not to
feed the children tofu everyday, maybe only every other day; I promise not to sleep in all the time; I do promise to love and honor
you as my husband, friend, and confidant; I promise to show you and our children the land and customs of my ancestors; I promise
to teach our children the language of Confucious and the story of the Middle Kingdom. on this perfect day, I pledge you my
undying love, my yesterdays, and my future. Today I give you my life, my being, my love to hold forever, to walk the path,
together . . . .
RING VOWS: You have chosen rings of white gold as tokens of your love for one another. The ring is a powerful symbol, for it
points to the unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no end. the circular rings that you present to one another informs the
world that you stand together. The circular rings that you will wear also tell others you realize that you are special partners in the
march of time that is characterized by reoccurrence and repetition. Yet, these rings testify to the uniqueness of your life journey
together.
Repeat after me as you place the ring on Ming's finger:
Iain: This ring I give as a symbol of a never ending circle of friendhsip, honesty, loyalty, lovingkindness, and togetherness, which
all in great harmony stand for my unconditional acceptance, love, and nurturance for you as my wife. Thus with this ring, I thee
wed.
Ming: This ring I give as a symbol of a never ending circle of friendhsip, honesty, loyalty, lovingkindness, and togetherness, which
all in great harmony stand for my unconditional acceptance, love, and nurturance for you as my wife. Thus with this ring, I thee
wed.
CONCLUSION: You have vowed to treasure this relationship as you treasure life and you have given tokens of your
commitment. Those acts constitute a covenant. May all of us gathered here always respect and support this covenant as we
respect adn support you in this relationship. And, Ming and Iain, duly married, live the promises made here today so that you may
reap the blessings distined to come. May you be courageous in love and never unduly afraid so that you can console and be
consoled, forgive and be forgiven, understand and be understood, love and be loved.
BENEDICTION: O Creator of the world and all its infinite mysteries, watch over these two so that they may participate in the
dance of intimacy while they test and are tested by the intricacies of life. Bless them always. Amen
Now, Ming and Iain, you will feel no pain for each of you will be shelter to the other. You will feel no cold, for each of you will
be warmth to the other. There will be no loneliness for you; though you are two persons there is only one life before you. Go now
and enter into the days of your togetherness and may your days be good and long together. You are now husband and wife,
celebrate your union with a kiss!