Thoughts from MOCSA board member Matt Sharples…
As a small business owner in the late 90s, I had always felt a calling to give back. Just the way I was raised I
guess. There were many organizations that I had supported during that time, some local, and some more
national in scope but my world changed in July of 1999 when I came across a local to Kansas City, non-profit
organization that goes by the name of “MOCSA” (Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assualt).
I remember seeing some information on MOCSA in a flyer that came with a certain Kansas City Business
Journal weekly newspaper. Later that year, I met with the Executive Director and Fund Development Director
to propose the idea of my company underwriting an annual golf tournament. What happened after that has
changed my life exponentially for the better.
The next year I became a Board Member for MOSCA and through various meetings and committee work, I
really began to delve into the multi-faceted approach MOCSA has in dealing with this ever-increasing plague
that is infecting our society. I was utterly astounded with the facts surrounding this issue and that for the most
part, whenever we as a society hear about sexual assault, we shake our heads, think “what a shame”, “what a
freak”, and then go back to our daily routine. But what’s lost in thinking about this uncomfortable topic is just
how prevalent it is – with men committing 97% of these acts and a 1 in 4 women being a victim of sexual
assault. Furthermore, it was astonishing to me that sexual assault is not about “boogeymen” jumping from
behind bushes to commit stranger rape, it’s more prevalent that these perpetrators are men the victim knows
very well (i.e. a family friend, a relative, a close confidant) AND these are men who come from the very fabric
of our society – coaches, white-collar professionals, trusted family-friends, etc. The reality show “To Catch a
Predator” shone a white-hot light on this fact with every episode it aired.
What has surprised me even more is the real lack of accountability men feel in dealing with this issue. It seems
to me that sexual assault as a “problem” is acknowledged among most men but to really dig in and explore
what leads to 1 in 4 women being exploited sexually and what exactly leads men to be the perpetrators 97% of
the time are conversations that trail off into abyss. Once again, head’s shake, and “what a shame” phrases are
offered but nothing of substance is really done to sit men down with other men and take inventory of the
culture of manhood and “being a man”. It seems to me if one group of people were responsible for a crime
97% of the time we would label it as that particular group’s problem – wouldn’t we? So – why isn’t sexual
assault generally not considered a men’s issue?
MOCSA, with its trademark innovative style, has taken steps forward in starting the dialogue between men to
first, understand the issue of sexual assault, and then to really examine what messages come across in our
man culture and start asking ourselves, are these the boundaries we want our boys to grow up with? MOCSA
started “ManUp!” a grass-roots program where men of all walks of life can come together and educate
themselves about sexual assault and no longer “shake our heads” but to take an active, participative role in
preventing sexual assault along with the contrasting the various super-sized masculine overtones that more
and more permeate our society of what it means to “be a man”. Perhaps men can’t end sexual assault all
together – but God knows we can make it a better place for our sisters, mothers, daughters, and girl-friends –
that one of them (1 in 4) won’t be assaulted in their lifetime.
Matt Sharples is the Co-Founder and CEO of TriCom Technical Services, an “Inc 500” company. He has
received numerous awards, including Ingram’s “40 under 40”.