CASA Infant and Preschool Services 2013
Anxiety Reducing Strategies for Young Children & Their Parents
Breathing Techniques
 Help child relax by slowing down their breathing
 Helps slow heart rate and switch off the body’s stress response
 By reducing excessive anxiety, child is better able to listen, think and regain control of themselves
Deep Breathing
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Deep breathing is an effective relaxation strategy because it is always available to children and takes minimal time to
complete
Instruct child to breathe through the nose and out through the mouth as well as expanding their abdomen
Teach relaxation breathing by placing a sticker or stuffed animal on their belly and have them make it rise and fall as they
breath
Bubble Blowing Technique
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Using bubble solution and a wand, have your child blow out slowly and gently to create bubbles
Wait a couple of seconds before blowing the next bubble
Practice later without the bubble wand and pretend to blow out bubble together with your child
Blowing Out Birthday Candles
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The child holds up one hand and together with an adult, counts their fingers and pretends they are birthday candles
Slowly blow out each candle (finger) using a long breath out (3-5 seconds)
The adult uses their hand as a visual cue to show how long the child blows by slowly moving it away from their body
Inhale for a count of two and repeat till all the candles are blown out
Blowing Up a Pretend Balloon
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Take out an imaginary balloon from a pretend pocket and hold it up to the mouth (cupping hands to imitate a flat balloon)
Take a deep slow breath in and slowly breathe out
Move your hands slowly away from each other to show that the balloon is getting bigger
Repeat 3-5 times
When finished squeeze the air out of the pretend balloon and return the deflated balloon back to the imaginary pocket
This process ensures that the balloon is available to the child any time they need it
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Progressive Muscle Relaxation Techniques
 Techniques that involve progressively relaxing the body by having child focus their attention on
different muscle groups
 Children learn the difference between a tense state and a relaxed state, and how to relax their body
when they feel tense
 Older children and adults can follow a script or audiotape that guides them through relaxation training
 Younger children (3 or 4) can use “finger-plays”, simple tense and relax songs or activities
Sticky Hands
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Pretend to apply glue to palms of hands
Repeat while saying “glue, glue, glue”
Press hands together with elbows up
Repeat slowly saying “press, press, press”
Open hands slowly pretending they are sticky
Repeat 2-3 times
Spaghetti Arms
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Make a fist and bring to chest (flexed arms)
Bring shoulders up to ear and make a “squishy face” (tense) and count to 5
Relax and release arms while saying spaghetti arms
Repeat 3-5 times
Cloud Push
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Place both hands on hips
Take 1 arm & push up high towards the sky
Pretend to push the clouds away by stretching your arm and saying “Push” with each stretch
Do 3 pushes, then gradually float your arm back down towards your side
Repeat steps with other arm
Lastly, do cloud push with both arms at once clasped together (palms up)
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Using Yoga to Help Child Relax
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Yoga helps children develop become mindful of their breathing and aware of their body
Yoga increases child’s self-control
Yoga techniques instill calmness and relaxation into daily routines
Yoga postures can be paired with visuals such as pictures, figures or stuffed animals
Examples of Yoga Positions for Children
Crocodile
Lie face down on the floor with arms at sides
Lift head and chest off the floor
hold 10-20 seconds
Dog
place hands and knees on floor
Straighten arms & legs so that bottom is up
Hold for 10-20 seconds
Mouse
kneel & sit back on hands
Lower upper body to the floor until head touches the floor
Place arms by sides
Hold 10-20 seconds
Relaxation Through Play
How does play help with my child’s anxiety?
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Provides child a chance to relax and have fun
Provides child an opportunity to have control over their environment
Enhances relationship with parent and builds security and trust
Frees the child from anxious provoking demands & expectations
How does the parent play with their child?
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Choose a “special play time” that can be done daily and without distractions
Choose toys that promote imagination and role-playing (figurines, doll houses, dolls, castles, puppets, cars, trains, kitchen
sets, etc.)
Let the child lead the play and follow your child’s lead
Avoid directing, asking questions or interfering
Show interest by being attentive and responsive to child’s actions
Narrate child’s actions
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Reflect feelings when appropriate
Thinking-Based Strategies
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Identify irrational thinking & challenge it
Expressing / Externalizing the worry
Substitute irrational thoughts with rational ones
Use of gradual exposure to distressing object while exercising relaxation
Provide reinforcement for adapting healthy thoughts and use of coping strategies
Types of Anxious (Irrational) Thinking
Over-Estimation of Risk
Person believes an unlikely event will happen
E.g. Fear of being struck by lightning
Catastrophic Thinking
Person predicts something terrible will happen & they will not be able to cope
E.g. My friend is late, they must have had an accident
Underestimating ability to cope
Person believes they will not be able to cope with stressful situation
E.g. If her parents come over, I won’t survive
Uncontrolability of Events
Person believes they have no influence over whether or not things happen
E.g. If I leave the home, something will surely happen to me
All-or-nothing Thinking (Perfectionism)
Person believes they are a failure if they do not do something perfectly
E.g. I didn’t score today. I’m just a loser
Gradual Exposure
How to teach your child to stop being afraid of something
 Just as children can learn to fear situations by having frightening experiences with them, they
can learn not to fear situations by having repeated practice facing the situation under conditions
that are in their control and not frightening
 Idea is to overcome fear by gradually increasing child’s exposure to feared situation under
conditions in which he or she is comfortable
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Steps for Gradual Exposure
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Identify your child’s fear
E.g.
fear of dogs
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List a range of experiences related to your child’s fear
E.g.
o encountering a dog while walking outside;
o seeing a TV show about dogs
o looking at a picture of a dog
o hearing a dog park
o approaching a dog; petting a dog
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Order the list of anxiety producing experiences from least to most fearful
Teach child relaxation techniques
Have your child practice relaxing while being exposed to the least anxiety provoking experience
Once successful at being relaxed, then continue progressing up the list to more fearful experiences
Tips for Gradual Exposure
 Children are often able to tolerate frightening situations better if they can watch someone who is not
afraid cope with the situation
o E.g. Kenny was afraid to pet the dog, but after watching his cousin Bobby pet it, he started to
pet it too
 It is easier to get young children to engage in exposure tasks if you make a game of it
o E.g. To gradually expose a child to darkness, a therapist played a game where the child was
superman’s helper and had to help superman guard a treasure in a room that got progressively
darker
 Recruiting others to assist you in positive gradual exposure
o E.g. A mother arranged for her nervous boy to visit the classroom and meet his new teacher
prior to school starting. She also found out a boy in his class lived nearby and arranged a couple
play dates so that he would know someone in advance
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Expressing / Externalizing
 Techniques that involve creating an external symbolization of the worry that the child can handle,
manipulate and take control of
 Child projects internal abstract worry onto something external and concrete (a symbol)
 Child can then manipulate and physically deal with the symbol, thus remedying internal worry
Worry Box
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parent & child make worry box together (shoe box, kleenex box or jar)
child draws out their worries on paper (whenever they feel upset)
child places worries in box for containment and temporary relief
child & parent go over worries in box and parent helps remedy by:
a. providing assurances (challenging worry)
b. identifying solutions (problem solving)
Child can then dispose of worry (crumpling or ripping up & throwing out paper)
Worry Bug
 Role play with parents in which parent plays worry bug (symbolizing fears, doubts) who bothers
stuffed animal played by the child (representing child with fears)
Steps
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Worry bug buzzes around stuffed animal bothering it by saying worry messages “You won’t have fun at school today”, “The
other kids won’t play with you”
Stuffed animal counters worry bug with positive messages: “Yes I will have fun”, “Yes the other kids will play with me”
Stuffed animal then tells the worry bug “I’m not listening to you…Go away!”
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Thought Modification
Reality Testing
 Challenge the likelihood of the present thought
 “test out” the idea that a feared event is really likely to happen
 Ask the following questions:
o What is the evidence this feared event will really happen?
o What is the evidence that this event is not likely to happen?
 If the event is likely to happen, is there any other way to look at it?
De-Catastrophizing
 Challenge a catastrophic prediction by realistically considering worst outcome
 Ask the following questions:
o What’s the worst that could happen?
o How could you cope if this event happened?
o What’s the most realistic outcome?
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Realistic Evaluation of Coping
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 Correct the false beliefs about not being able to cope with an event
 Ask the following questions:
o What are some possible alternatives for coping with this event?
o What are the advantages and disadvantages of each alternative?
o What is the best plan to try first?
o What back-up plan can you think of?
Counter Perfectionism
 Focus on gains and positives that perfectionism tends to discount
 Ask the following questions:
o What went well about the situation?
o What positive things can I take credit for
o Is improvement needed? If so, what small steps can I take?
REFERENCES
1) Freeing your Child from Anxiety – Broadway Books 2004 by Tamar E. Chansky
2) How to Help Your Anxious Child – New Harbinger Publications 2000 by Ronald M. Rapee, Susan
H. Spence, Ph. D.
3) The Worried Child – Recognizing Anxiety in Children and Helping them Heal – Hunter House
Publishers 2004 by Paul Foxman, Ph.D.
BOOKS FOR CHILDREN
Lori Lite:
A Boy and a Bear: The Children’s Relaxation Book – Specialty Press 1996
Lori Lite:
Angry Octopus: A Relaxation Story – LiteBooks.net 2008
Lori Lite:
Affirmation Weaver: A Believe in Yourself Story – LiteBooks.net 2008
Anxiety Reducing Strategies Version 1 Feb/13
Lori Lite:
A Boy and a Turtle: A Children’s Relaxation Story – LiteBooks.net 2001
Lori Lite:
The Goodnight Caterpillar: A Children’s Relaxation Story – LiteBooks.net 2001
Lori Lite:
Sea Otter Cove: A Relaxation Story – LiteBooks.net, LLC 2008
Anxiety Reducing Strategies Version 1 Feb/13