Adolescent premarital sexual activity, cohabitation, and

Adolescent premarital sexual activity, cohabitation, and attitudes toward marriage

Adolescence

Roslyn Heights

Fall 2001

Authors: Paige D Martin

Authors: Don Martin

Authors: Maggie Martin

Volume: 36

Issue: 143

Pagination: 601-609

ISSN: 00018449

Subject Terms: Sexual behavior

Attitudes

Teenagers

Marriage

Cohabitation

Abstract:

Societal trends indicate ambivalent attitudes about marriage. Specifically, there is greater acceptance of divorce and nontraditional living arrangements such as cohabitation, as well as acceptance and prevalence of premarital sex, than in the past. Copyright Libra

Publishers Incorporated Fall 2001

Full Text:

ABSTRACT

Societal trends indicate ambivalent attitudes about marriage. Specifically, there is greater acceptance of divorce and nontraditional living arrangements such as cohabitation, as well as acceptance and prevalence of premarital sex, than in the past. The authors examine adolescent attitudes toward marriage and their association with premarital sexual activity and cohabitation. Recommendations for helping adolescents understand the realities of marriage and family life are shared.

COHABITATION AND ATTITUDES TOWARD MARRIAGE

Cohabitation as an alternative to marriage has increased since the 1960s (Burguiere,

Kaplish-Zuber, Segalen, & Zonabend, 1994). According to a 1996 U.S. Census report on marital status and living arrangements, the number of unmarried couples living together surged from 523,000 in 1970 to 4 million in 1996. In addition, Horwitz and White (1998) have estimated that nearly a quarter of unmarried people in the United States between the ages of 25 and 34 currently engage in cohabitation. These findings suggest the likelihood

that a majority of people will be in an unmarried domestic relationship before marriage

(Barich & Bielby, 1996; Horwitz & White, 1998; Lye & Waldron, 1997).

Often, cohabitation is viewed as a convenient way to obtain the advantages of an intimate relationship without the long-term commitment marriage entails (Edmondson, 1997;

Horwitz & White, 1998; Institute for American Values, 1996; Lye & Waldron, 1997).

According to Edmondson (1997), cohabitation is currently viewed by society as a "virtual marriage." Because cohabitation has become a more common and acceptable living arrangement (Burguiere et al., 1994; Clarksberg, Stolzenberg, & Waite, 1995; Institute for

American Values, 1996), people who choose cohabitation are no longer stigmatized by society (Clarksberg et al., 1995; Horwitz & White, 1998). Leifbroer and de Jong Gierveld

(1993) have suggested that the increase in unmarried partnerships is a direct result of the increase in individual freedom to initiate and end intimate relationships. As a result, many young people no longer support the view that marriage is the only option for intimacy.

Divorced parents typically start a new relationship soon after separation (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1996). Tasker and Richards (1994) have reported that many divorced parents are choosing to cohabitate rather than remarry. This raises the possibility that exposure to this type of living arrangement eventually influences adolescents' attitudes toward marriage (Edmondson, 1997; Elkind, 1994; Kranczer, 1997), including an acceptance of cohabitation and the acceptability of serial relationships as an alternative to marriage

(Kranczer, 1997; Lye & Waldron, 1997; Tasker & Richards, 1994).

Kozuch and Cooney (1995) found that acceptance of premarital cohabitation was higher when adolescents were exposed to significant levels of parental conflict and divorce.

These researchers suggested that the observance of parental conflict is enough to convince young people that cohabitation is a necessity. They also suggested that young people view cohabitation as an attempt to determine compatibility and thus a way of increasing the chances of having a successful marriage later.

There has been extensive research on the effectiveness of nonmarried unions as a predictor of future marital success. It has been found that couples who choose cohabitation before marriage are 50% more likely to divorce than couples who do not choose cohabitation. In addition, marriages in which no prior cohabitation occurred are more stable than those in which the partners previously cohabited (Clarksberg et al., 1995;

Cunningham & Antill, 1994; Liefbroer & de Jong Gierveld, 1993; U.S. Bureau of the

Census, 1996). Furthermore, cohabitation is not typically a long-term arrangement.

Edmondson (1997) reported that, on average, such relationships last approximately one year. Despite these statistics, a large number of young couples are choosing cohabitation before marriage or as an alternative to marriage (Edmondson, 1997; Elkind, 1994;

Kranczer, 1997).

Different theories have been proposed in an attempt to understand this phenomenon. The

Institute for American Values (1996) has suggested that the current trends regarding divorce and remarriage have modified societal attitudes about cohabitation and premarital sex. Other researchers have argued that although the majority of young Americans wish to marry, it is no longer regarded as the only acceptable adult lifestyle (Cunningham & Antill,

1994; Tasker & Richards, 1994). Cunningham and Antill (1994) have proposed that cohabitation represents a postponement of marriage: "Of those young adults who choose cohabitation, over 90% report they plan to marry someone, if not their current partner, at

sometime in their lives" (p. 77). In addition, researchers have suggested that the increase in and greater acceptance of cohabitation are not a direct rejection of the institution of marriage, but rather an attempt to seek more assurance and stability (Barber & Axinn,

1998; Cunningham & Antill, 1994; Edmondson, 1997).

Several researchers have argued that the tendency of today's young people to choose cohabitation stems from a societal shift in values toward greater acceptance of premarital sexual activity and the adoption of nontraditional lifestyles by older generations (Amato,

1996; Hetherington et al., 1998; Kozuch & Cooney, 1995). It has been proposed that these changes are directly related to the high rates of divorce and remarriage (Institute for

American Values, 1996). Specifically, previously married people are likely to view sexual relations and intimacy differently (Edmondson, 1997; Elkind, 1994), and these attitudes are being adopted by members of the younger generation (Amato, 1996). In fact, there appears to be a substantial intergenerational transmission of attitudes regarding sexual and family issues (Amato, 1996; Kozuch & Cooney, 1995). For example, as previously married parents begin to engage in sexual activity outside the boundaries of marriage, and perhaps initiate a nonmarital domestic relationship, the acceptability of these nontraditional behaviors is communicated to the younger members of the family (Amato, 1996; Barber &

Axinn, 1998; Hetherington et al., 1998).

In addition, the number of single mothers in the United States has risen approximately

60% between 1980 and 1997, from 6.2 million to 10.0 million. Single mothers often approach relationships in a different manner from men, choosing cohabitation as a means of providing support and stability (Clarksberg et al., 1995; Cunningham & Antill, 1994;

Hetherington et al., 1998). Sometimes women will choose cohabitation as a means of

"trying out" potential fathers for their children, or it may be an attempt to provide themselves and their children with economic security. According to Edmondson (1997), cost savings may be the most important reason for cohabitation. Whatever the rationale behind cohabitation, parental role modeling makes children's approving attitudes toward nontraditional behaviors more probable.

Being engaged is no longer a necessary condition for premarital coitus (Burguiere et al.,

1994; Kalof, 1995; Kirby, 1996; Leigh, Morrison, Trocki, & Temple, 1994; Orthner, 1992;

Popenoe, 1992), and sexual activity has become a common aspect of adolescent relationships. In a study by Westera and Bennett (1994), 88% of high school males and

84% of high school females expressed attitudes supportive of premarital sexual behaviors.

Smith (1997) reported that the number of teenagers having sex has increased 63% in the last 20 years, with the biggest increase occurring among white, middle-class females.

Feigenbaum, Weinstein, and Rosen (1995), investigating a sample of college undergraduates, indicated that 69.6% of the males and 59.5% of the females reported having experienced sexual intercourse by the age of 17. More recently, Stryker (1997) reported that 73% of young men and 56% of young women have experienced sexual intercourse by their 18th birthday. By age 20, the figures rise to 80% for males and 76% for females (Haffner, 1997).

Adolescents are often faced with four distinct standards of premarital sexual behavior

Kalof, 1995): (1) complete abstinence, (2) a double standard that allows males but not females to enjoy sexual activity with impunity, (3) sexual activity with affection, and (4) sexual activity based solely on physical desire. While the first two reflect past attitudes

(Johnston & Thomas, 1996; Kalof, 1995; Werner-Wilson, 1998), adolescents show a growing acceptance of premarital sexual activity if the relationship involves someone they love (Kalof, 1995; Leigh et al., 1994; Salts, Seismore, Lindholm & Smith, 1994; Werner-

Wilson, 1998). Adolescents, especially females, believe that it is acceptable to engage in premarital sexual activity within the boundaries of a dating relationship (Kalof, 1995;

Stryker, 1997; Werner-Wilson, 1998). Today's adolescents also appear to be rejecting casual sex in favor of committed and affectionate relationships, despite the fact that these relationships may be temporary rather than leading to marriage (Stryker, 1997; Werner-

Wilson, 1998).

Despite the growing acceptance and prevalence of teenage premarital sexual activity, most young people are unprepared for the possible consequences, including parenthood.

Werner-Wilson (1998) reported that early entrance into family life, often through teen pregnancy, can have serious implications, such as limited educational and employment opportunities. He also noted that adolescents who marry as a result of teen pregnancy face greater financial difficulties and marital conflict.

There are a number of factors that contribute to the initiation of sexual activity among adolescents (Feigenbaum et al., 1995; Haffner, 1997; Hetherington et al., 1998; Horn,

1995; Leigh et al., 1994). Family structure, age, gender, parenting styles, and type of parental communication have all been examined. However, family structure has been of particular interest, as more adolescents are being exposed to family disruption and nontraditional lifestyles (Hetherington et al., 1998; Leigh et al., 1994; Tasker & Richards,

1994; Werner-Wilson, 1998). These changes influence adolescents' sexual behavior and increase accepting attitudes toward sexual activity before marriage (Hetherington et al.,

1998; Simons, 1996; Spruit & de Goede, 1997; Tasker & Richards, 1994; Werner-Wilson,

1998). The presence of both parents has been associated with delay in the initiation of sexual activity (Rossi, 1997; Simons, 1996; Smith, 1997; Stryker, 1997; Tasker &

Richards, 1994), while single-parent households and the absence of fathers have been associated with an increased likelihood of early sexual intercourse and childbearing

(Guidubaldi, 1996; Horn, 1995; Kozuch & Cooney, 1995; Leigh et al., 1994; Rossi, 1997;

Samuelson, 1996; Smith, 1997). In addition, adolescents from single-parent families are reported to engage in more sexual activity than their peers from intact families

(Hetherington et al., 1998; Leigh et al., 1994; Smith, 1997; Tasker & Richards, 1994).

PREMARITAL COUNSELING AND PSYCHOEDUCATIONAL INTERVENTIONS

While a variety of factors may affect the success of marital and family life, therapeutic efforts to help families have gained popularity (Schumm, Resnick, Silliman, & Bell, 1998), such as family therapy and couples therapy (Heitler, 1997). Unfortunately, there has been minimal focus on premarital education and counseling (Schumm et al., 1998; Schumm &

Silliman, 1997). Even less effort has been made to prepare adolescents for marriage and family life, and to help them gain an understanding of how their actions will directly affect their future. According to Kirby (1996), teenagers are the greatest "at-risk" group in society, yet their schools may only touch upon marriage and family life in sex education classes.

This limited attention to young people's preparation for marriage and family life is alarming

(Feigenbaum et al., 1995; Haffner, 1997). Holman and Li (1997) have concluded that perceived readiness for marriage is an important factor. Diagrazia (1998) has

recommended more practical and effective educational programs for young people on issues pertaining to marriage and family life.

With the high prevalence of marital disruption, it is imperative that young people understand the factors that play a role in the decision to enter into marriage (Sokolski &

Hendrick, 1999). Human service professionals need to recognize the importance of helping young people understand the realities of marriage and family life (Heitler, 1997;

Schumm et al., 1998; Silliman & Schumm, 1995). Unfortunately, few people believe premarital counseling is necessary.

There is growing concern that young people enter into marriage too quickly and are ill prepared to make the adjustments necessary to assure stable, harmonious relationships

(Diagrazia, 1998; Haffner, 1997; Kirby, 1996; Sokolski & Hendrick, 1999). Young people who enter into marriage and parenting at early ages often hold unrealistic expectations about what these roles entail (Heitler, 1997). Diagrazia (1998) has stated: "If they are too rigid or the expectations too unrealistic, the marriage will certainly begin to be an unhappy experience. The pressures will begin to feel overwhelming, the little annoyances will become magnified, resentments and misunderstandings will compound, dreams will vanish and more often than not dissolution will be sought" (. 5).

Furthermore, young people appear to be choosing cohabitation as a means of practicing for marriage. However, research has demonstrated that cohabitation does not provide effective preparation in this regard (Cunningham & Antill, 1994; Horwitz & White, 1998;

Larson & Holman, 1994; Tasker & Richards, 1994). It is evident that adolescents and young adults need more options to acquire the skills necessary to achieve marital success.

For example, respect, communication, and social skills are essential to a successful marriage (Barich & Bielby, 1996; Cunningham & Antill, 1994; Heitler, 1997; Holman & Li,

1997), and psychoeducational interventions and premarital counseling can focus on these areas and others. In addition, the goal of any family life education program should be to help young people develop realistic expectations about marriage, as well as realistic expectations of themselves and others within intimate relationships (Diagrazia, 1998;

Feigenbaum et al., 1995; Kirby, 1996; Schumm et al., 1998; Silliman & Schumm, 1995).

CONCLUSION

Mitchell (1995) has noted that a new generation will eventually shape societal attitudes toward marriage and family life. These young people have been exposed to a variety of nontraditional living arrangements and, as a result, have developed more accepting attitudes toward cohabitation and premarital sex. Although there appears to be a desire among members of this age group to have more successful marriages and stable family lives, they show a continued tendency to make decisions that negatively impact their lives.

Young people often find themselves unprepared for the realities of marriage and family life.

As a result, they repeat the same mistakes they are attempting to avoid. Educating adolescents about the realities of marriage and family life is thus imperative. The authors believe that mental health professionals and educators are in an excellent position to help adolescents prepare for these critical life tasks.

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Paige D. Martin, Don Martin, and Maggie Martin

Paige D. Martin, Director of Special Education/School Psychologist, Rootstown School

District, Rootstown, Ohio.

Maggie Martin, Chief Administrative Officer, Northside Urban Pathways, Pittsburgh,

Pennsylvania.