You recently responded to the following question, which was the first assignment relating to The
Giver. The question you had to respond to was: What is unusual about Jonas’s community?
The responses were good, but there are two areas we need to work on
I. Using evidence from the text and integrating quotes into your writing.
Some of you aren’t using quotes at all; that’s silly since the directions told you to. Some of you are
using quotes, but you just need a little help integrating them into your writing. Remember that “to
integrate” means to combine. You always need some context when you use a quote. What is
happening in the book when that quote appears? Then, you need a signal phrase that introduces the
quote and a follow-up sentence that explains what this quote proves.
For example, one student wrote the following:
One strange thing in Jonas’s community is that it seems like animals don’t exist. The text says, “Neither
child knew what the word meant.” This is why animals don’t exist in the community.
I like the first line…
One strange thing in Jonas’s community is that it seems like animals don’t exist.
But now we need some of that context before we use the quote. How about this?
One strange thing in Jonas’s community is that it seems like animals don’t exist.
At one point, Jonas’s family is discussing how some children acted like animals…
Now we add on a signal phrase that introduces the quote and flows with our writing:
One strange thing in Jonas’s community is that it seems like animals don’t exist.
At one point, Jonas’s family is discussing how some children acted like animals, and the text says,
“Neither child knew what the word meant.”
If we wanted to be really accurate and precise, we might use Ms. Brackets to clarify what
“word” we are referring to.
One strange thing in Jonas’s community is that it seems like animals don’t exist. At one point, Jonas’s
family is discussing how some children acted like animals, and the text says, “Neither child knew what the
word (animal) meant.”
Finally, we need to explain how that quote supports our claim that animals don’t exist .
One strange thing in Jonas’s community is that it seems like animals don’t exist. At one point, Jonas’s
family is discussing how some children acted like animals, and the text says, “Neither child knew what the
word (animal) meant.” This shows us that even though the community has stuffed animals called comfort
objects, they have never seen a live animal.
The following are excerpts from students’ responses that have poorly integrated quotes. Fix them.
1. The community has strict rules. According to the book “Attention…objects are not to be removed from
the recreation area and … snacks are to be eaten not be hoarded.” Jonas had taken an apple. (page 23)
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2. The book also says, “When you’re an Eight, your comfort object will be taken away.” This is something
that is controlled in the entire community. (page 18)
3. Their lives are planned out for them and they don’t get to make any decisions of their own. In the story
it says, “Were any of the other elevens disappointed your year?” Jonas asked his dad if other elevens were
disappointed when they were assigned their job. (page 16)
II. Precision of language
Jonas’s community is very big on precision of language or saying exactly what one means by using
specific, precise words. A lot of you would be “released” from his community due to your inability to
do this! All joking aside, this is a major area of weakness in your writing. Often I can tell what you are
trying to say, but your word choice and lack of precision don’t accurately express your thoughts.
For example, one student wrote the following:
People in my community don’t speak like how they speak in the book.
Now let’s change this and use precise language.
OPTION 1: People in my community don’t speak as formally as the people in Jonas’s community.
OPTION 2: The people in Jonas’s community have to use very specific, precise words when they speak.
The following are excerpts from students’ responses that lack precision of language. Fix them.
1. Lily wants to be a birthmother but the mother says no.
2. Jonas’s community is very unusual. It’s not like us.
3. One unusual thing that happened was when it said that the family was only supposed to have a certain
amount of kids in their family.
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