Binky E-mail Checklist
Exotic Pet Store Links
http://monkeyzone.com/
http://www.our-pets.net/primatestore/monkeywant.htm
http://www.pawprintonline.com/
Code
Section.Last Name, First Name.8.BN.Binky
Style
Use e-mail style. Type the document and print on regular typing
paper. Start with the subject line; omit all other information supplied
by you e-mail software.
Spelling
Check spelling carefully.
Facts
Check facts carefully. Where is the store located? Who is
writing the letter. Does the $150,000 include the $10,000 for
the monkey?
Commas
Check after introductory phrases and clauses and between
independent clauses. Don’t use when unnecessary.
Number Rules
$10,000 not $10,000.00, not Ten Thousand, and not 10 thousand.
Tips:
Be careful about tone. You may be tempted to be negative
with Mrs. Carpenter. Remember, a primary goal in business
communications is to build goodwill. Only one negative word
in a bad-news message is all that will be accepted. This is my
rule, however. In real life you may find the need to use more
that one negative reference. Try to keep you documents
positive. Also, keep in mind that a negative word or idea can
be defined as anything that will likely bring about a negative
reaction from the reader. Sometimes what may seem to be
negative ideas may be used only to describe an event that was
negative but would not upset the reader.
You can assume that Mr. Duncan has customers sign a contract
releasing him from liability. You can also assume that he has
his customers initial each clause in the agreement that explains
special care requirements.
Organizational
Plan
This is a “bad-news” document. Use three paragraphs with
effective transitions and coherence devices that lead naturally to a
clear decision at the end of the second paragraph.
Paragraph 1. Avoid starting with “I” or “We.” Use a neutral
buffer
that neither leads the reader the think the request is being
granted or denied. However, the opening should relate to the
situation and lead naturally into the explanation provided in the
second paragraph.
Paragraph 2. Explain that Mr. Duncan uses great care in
making certain that both pets and new owners will be happy.
Transition. Describe the “initialing” process with the
agreement—the owner initials each clause relating to the pet’s
unique pet needs and the owner’s responsibility in meeting
these needs. Transition. The owner’s signature on the
agreement passes liability to the owner. Transition. Tactfully
make it clear to Mrs. Carpenter that reimbursement for
damages is not available.
Paragraph 3. Don’t apologize. Don’t say you are sorry. Do not
accept responsibility for events beyond your control that you
did not cause. This is especially true when the customer has
signed an agreement releasing you from responsibility. Be
helpful, but don’t encourage additional communication.
Suggest a convenient way for Mrs. Carpenter to return the
monkey for a refund. You should mention somewhere about
the need for Binky to be returned in good health to receive the
refund.
Spacing
Single spacing within paragraphs.
One blank line between paragraphs.