Unit 5
Theme: School Picnic
Genre: Personal Recount (Diary Entry)

A diary entry is a personal recount of events that have happened to
the writer. It can be posted online – e.g. on a personal blog.
Details of Writing Task

Rubrics: Yesterday you had your first school picnic, and it turned
out to be the most memorable experience. Write a diary entry on
your personal blog about it.
Features
Context: Personal Blog
Writer: A secondary one student
Audience: Friends of the writer
Target Language: i) Simple past tense
ii) Adjectives describing feelings and nouns related to
the topic
iii) Time expressions
1
Pre-writing Activities
1. Structure of a Diary Entry
1A: You went for a hike organised by your school today. Below is the diary entry
that describes the trip. Fill in the balnks with the words provided to show the
structure of a diary entry.
Personal feelings
Third
Background information
31st
Sunny
Oct,
Date
Final
First
Second
Weather condition
2010
Today, my school organised an exciting trip to Po Toi Island.
The weather was really nice. The great trip started at 9 a.m. and
ended at 5 p.m. During this trip, we had a long walk for almost
two and a half hours. At lunch, we enjoyed some delicious
seafood in Wan Tsai Village and after that we explored some
fantastic areas around Ngau Wu Teng.
We first took the school bus to Stanley. From there, we took a
ferry to Po Toi Island. After we had arrived at Po Toi Pier, we
walked up Ngau Wu Teng. Having climbed up the hill for
around an hour, we were all exhausted! But it was worth it
because we could enjoy the spectacular view of the Po Toi
__________________
__________________
_____________
_____________:
- When, What,
Where, Who,
Why
_________ and
_______ event
Island, Repulse bay as well as the nearby islands at the top of
the hill.
Then, we descended from the peak of Ngau Wu Teng to see
Turtle Rock and an old lighthouse. Turtle Rock is an ancient
rock carving that has been there for 2000 years and it has been
declared as a monument of Hong Kong.
____________
Event
2
Afterwards, it was time to enjoy our lunch at Wan Tsai village.
In fact, it was late lunch as it was already 3 p.m. We were all
very hungry. We enjoyed a lot of delicious seafood for our
lunch with reasonable prices. After lunch, we also spent time
strolling around the village, and we bought some dried seafood.
Then, we took the ferry back to Stanley at about 4:30 p.m.
This was the first time our class went for a hiking trip. It was
really an unforgettable experience. I hope that we will have a
similar trip again very soon.
_________
Event
____________
____________
_
1B: Please complete the table according to the diary entry in 1A.
Content
Background Information
(When, What, Where,
Who, Why)
(When) Date and Time:
Weather:
(What) Event:
(Where) Venue:
(Who) People Involved:
(Why) Purpose:
Details of the Trip
Event One (First):
Event Two (Then):
Event Three (After):
Event Four (Finally):
Personal Feelings
3
2. Language Features
2A: Consult the diary entry you read in 1A above and fill in the blanks below
that indicate the language features we need to pay attention to when we write a
diary entry.

____________ action verbs are used. For example:
- Today, my school organised an exciting trip to Po Toi Island.
 _______________ describing the nouns / events should be included in the diary:
-
Today, my school organised an exciting (adjective) trip (noun) to Po Toi
Island

_________ describing people’s feeling should be provided:

- ..., we were all exhausted!
__________________ should be used to put the events into chronological order:
- We first took the school bus to Stanley.
2B: Find out some examples from the diary entry in 1A that illustrate the
language features listed in the table:
Language Features
Examples
Past Action Verbs
Adjectives describing events /
nouns related to the topic
Adjectives describing feelings
Time expressions
4
2C: Last Saturday, you went for a hike with your classmates. Below is the diary
entry about the hike. Fill in the blanks with the correct form of the verbs,
adjectives and time expressions in the box below. Some verbs can be used more
than once.
after
delicious
find
hungry
small
breathless
30th Dec 2009
arrive
descend
fine
be
spectacular
warm
assemble
enjoy
first
offer
steep
then
walk
exhausted
get
play
sweet
make
Decide
Finally
Go
Prepare
Take
Saturday
Today ________ a holiday. The weather was________ so I ________ to go to
Lion Rock Hill with Angel and Emily. ________, we _____________ at the Lion
Rock Country Park. ________ we________ up the mountain through the Lion Rock
trail. The trail was so ________ that before we reached the top, we were already out
of breath and there ________ so many________ hills that ________ us ________.
Luckily, there were some small stores along the trail which ________ us ________,
________ soya-bean soup to resume our energy.
After walking for around three hours, we ________ ________ at the peak. At the
top of the hill, we________ the ______________ view of Tai Mo Shan, which is the
tallest mountain in Hong Kong. Not far away, we________ Amah Rock. We________
a lot of beautiful photos. The scenery ________ breathtaking!
________ taking a rest, we ___________ from the peak and __________ back to
the country park. We ________ in the amusement park for a while. We were all
___________ and_________, so we ________ back to my place for early supper. My
mum ___________ a lot of ___________ food including roasted turkey and sushi.
What a fantastic holiday!
5
Writing Task
Now write your own diary entry about the school picnic. The boxes
below may help you with your planning.
 Writing Tips 


Date and weather condition should be stated at the beginning of the diary entry.
Remember to provide detailed background information about the trip.

Remember to put the events in chronological order with the use of time
expressions.
To make the diary entry more interesting to read, you should provide suitable
adjectives to make the description of the events and your own feelings more
vivid and lively.

Plan for the Diary Entry
Background Information (When, What, Where, Who Why?)
Event One
Event Two
Event Three
6
Event Four
Event Five
Event Six
Personal Feelings
Notes for Teachers:
 The number of events to be
included depends on the length of
the diary entry. Teachers should
decide how many events their
students should write about in their
diary entry.
7
Post-writing Evaluation
 Evaluation Form 
 Content and Structure
Excellent Pretty Average
Needs


Good
Improvement


1. The date and weather condition
are clearly indicated at the
beginning of the diary entry.
2. Clear background information
about the picnic is provided.
3. The details of the picnic are
clearly described.
4. Events that happened in the
picnic are described in a
chronological order.
5. The diary entry ends with a
paragraph that describes the
writer’s personal feelings.
6. Paragraphs and sentences are
well-sequenced.
 Language Use
Excellent

1.
The simple past tense is used
correctly.
2.
Adjectives describing the
events are used correctly.
3.
Adjectives
describing
feelings are used correctly.
Pretty Average
Needs

Good
Improvement


8
4.
Time expressions are used
correctly.
5.
Grammar is mostly correct.
6.
Words are of a wide range
and generally accurate and
appropriate.
7.
Punctuation and spelling are
correct.

Genre
Excellent

Pretty Average
Needs

Good
Improvement


The general tone and style of the
diary entry show that the writer
is aware of the purpose, context
and audience of the genre.
Notes for Teachers:

Teachers can adapt the
evaluation form freely for
students’ self-evaluation,
peer evaluation or teacher
evaluation.
9
Suggested Answers
1A: You went for a hike organised by your school today. Below is the diary entry
that describes the trip. Fill in the balnks with the words provided.
Psersonal feelings
Third
Background information
Date;
Weather
condition
31st Oct, 2010
Date
Final
First
Second
Weather condition
Sunny
Today, my school organised an exciting trip to Po Toi Island. The weather
was really nice. The great trip started at 9 a.m. and ended at 5 p.m. During this
trip, we had a long walk for almost two and a half hours. At lunch, we enjoyed
some delicious seafood in Wan Tsai Village and after that we explored some
fantastic areas around Ngau Wu Teng.
Background
information:
- When, What,
Where, Who,
Why
We first took the school bus to Stanley. From there, we took a ferry to Po Toi
Island. After we had arrived at Po Toi Pier, we walked up Ngau Wu Teng. Having
climbed up the hill for around an hour, we were all exhausted! But it was worth it
because we could enjoy the spectacular view of the Po Toi Island, Repulse bay as
well as the nearby islands at the top of the hill.
Third
Event
First and
Second
Event
Then, we descended from the peak of Ngau Wu Teng to see Turtle Rock and an
old lighthouse. Turtle Rock is an ancient rock carving that has been there for 2000
years and it has been declared as a monument of Hong Kong.
Afterwards, it was time to enjoy our lunch at Wan Tsai village. In fact, it was late
lunch as it was already 3 p.m. We were all very hungry. We enjoyed a lot of
delicious seafood for our lunch with reasonable prices. After lunch, we also spent
time strolling around the village, and we bought some dried seafood. Then, we took
the ferry back to Stanley at about 4:30 p.m.
Final Event
This was the first time our class went for a hiking trip. It was really an
unforgettable experience. I hope that we will have a similar trip again very soon.
10
Personal
Feelings
1B: Please complete the table according to the diary entry in 1A.
Content
Background
Information
(When, What,
Where, Who, Why)
(When) Date and Time: 31st Oct 2009; 9:00 am – 5: 00 p.m.
Weather: Sunny
(What) Event: A hiking trip
(Where) Venue: Po Toi Island, Ngau Wu Teng, Turtle Rock,
and Wan Chai Village
(Who) People Involved: Classmates and I
(Why) Purpose: It was a trip organised by the school
Details of the Trip
Event One (First):
Took ferry from Stanley to Po Toi Island.
Event Two (Then):
Climbed up Ngau Wu Teng and enjoyed the spectacular view
at the peak.
Event Three (After):
Descended from Ngau Wu Teng and walked to Turtle Rock.
Event Four (Finally):
Enjoyed lunch at Wan Chai village.
Personal Feelings
It was also the first time we went on a hiking trip together so
it was very unforgettable.
I hope to have a similar trip again very soon.
2A: Fill in the blanks below that indicate the language features we need to pay
attention to when we write a diary entry describing a trip.

Past action verbs are used. For example:
- Today, my school organised an exciting trip to Po Toi Island.
 Adjectives describing the nouns / events should be included in the diary:

Today, my school organised an exciting (adjective) trip (noun) to Po Toi
Island
Adjectives describing people’s feeling should be provided:

- ..., we were all exhausted!
Time expressions should be used to put the events into chronological order:
-
We first took the school bus to Stanley.
11
2B: Find out some examples from the diary entry in 1A that illustrate the
language features listed in the table:
Language Features
Past Action Verbs
Examples
Organised, was, enjoyed, explored, ended, had,
took, were, walked, descended, spent, went,
hoped
Adjectives describing events / Exciting, nice, long, fantastic, spectacular,
nouns related to the topic
ancient, late, delicious, reasonable, dried,
unforgettable
Adjectives describing feelings
Exhausted, hungry
Time expressions
First, after, then, afterwards
2C: Last Saturday, you went for a hike with your classmates. Below is the diary
entry about the hike. Fill in the blanks with the correct form of the verbs,
adjectives and time expressions in the box below. Some verbs can be used more
than once.
after
delicious
arrive
descend
assemble
enjoy
walk
exhausted
Decide
Finally
find
hungry
small
breathless
fine
be
spectacular
warm
first
offer
steep
then
get
play
sweet
make
Go
Prepare
Take
30th Dec 2009
Sunny
Today was a holiday. The weather was fine, so I decided to go to Lion Rock Hill
with Angel and Emily. First, we assembled at the Lion Rock Country Park. Then we
walked up the mountain through the Lion Rock trail. The trail was so steep that before
we reached the top, we were already out of breath and there were so many small hills
that made us breathless. Luckily, there were some small stores along the trail which
offered us warm, sweet soya-bean soup to resume our energy.
After walking for around three hours, we finally arrived at the peak. At the top of
the hill, we enjoyed the spectacular view of Tai Mo Shan, which is the tallest
mountain in Hong Kong. Not far away, we found Amah Rock. We took a lot of
beautiful photos. The scenery was breathtaking.
12
After taking a rest, we descended from the peak and went back to the country
park. We played in the amusement park for a while. We were all exhausted and
hungry, so we got back to my place for early supper. My mum prepared a lot of
delicious food including roasted turkey and sushi. What a fantastic holiday!
13