BURIED OR DELAYED LEADS
A buried" lead is the most common type of alternative lead. Some reporters call it a
"delayed" lede. Typically, a buried lead begins with an interesting example or anecdote
that sets a story's theme. Then a nut graph -- perhaps the third or fourth paragraph -summarizes the story and provides a transition to the body. The nut graph states the
central point of the story and moves it from a single example or anecdote to the general
issue or problem. Like a traditional lead, it summarizes the topic. In addition, it may
explain why the topic is important.
Here are two examples of buried leads. The first is by Walter R. Mears, a special
correspondent for The Associated Press, who takes a different approach to writing about a
company ling for bankruptcy. The second is by Sabra Chartrand of The New York Times,
who wrote about a business side of athletics most people rarely think about:
WASHINGTON (AP)- Time was, writing meant typewriting. Words like these written on a
television screen-were composed on the solid keyboard, banged noisily onto a piece of
paper, XXXXd out when they weren't quite right, ripped out and scrapped when the
paragraphs just didn't work.
It's easier and faster with the computer, a reality that pushed Smith Corona Corp., the
last big-name American typewriter manufacturer, into bankruptcy on Wednesday.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Cal Ripken, Jr., less than two months from breaking Lou Gehrig's streak of 2,130
consecutive games, is famous for his endurance on the baseball field. For a less
celebrated example of his stamina, consider the more than 10,000 autographs he will
sign this year.
The vast majority will not be the old-fashioned face-to-face kind. Rather, Mr. Ripken
signs balls by the boxload, hundreds at a time, in his hotel room or at home, to be sold at
a big profit.
After giving some details about how Ripken signs the balls, how much an autographed
ball costs and what Ripken makes from the sale of each, Chartland gets to the point of the
story in the fourth paragraph:
Ten years ago, mass-autographed merchandise was a rarity. Today, these balls, helmets,
jerseys and athletic shoes are a $500 million industry.
The delayed lead can introduce a complex or abstract problem by showing how the
problem affects a single individual-someone your readers may know or identify with. Or
an anecdote can illustrate a problem and arouse readers' interest in the topic.
MULTI-PARAGRAPH LEADS
Other news writers think of a lead as a unit of thought. Their summary leads consist of
two or three paragraphs that paint scenes, flowing into each other as if they were one:
STARKE-Gone were the painted, manicured fingernails and the fashionable dark hair.
Gone was the tough-edged woman who drove around Pensacola in a Corvette and told
bigger-than-life stories about her life, her businesses and her Chanel perfume.
Judy Buenoano walked shakily to Florida's electric chair Monday, her head freshly
shaved. Guards had covered it with gel-highlighting every bump, every vein-to conduct
the electricity better. She wasn't the same person who had boasted that Florida would
never execute her. She was simply an old, frightened woman.
And by 7:13 a.m. Buenoano, 54, had become the first woman executed in the state in 150
years and the first woman to die in the chair.
(The Orlando (Fla.] Sentinel)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NEW YORK-It seemed like a perfect night for a mugging. The street was dark, the hour
late, the Brooklyn neighborhood rough.
But the teenage boys who stalked Arthur Boone as he left a comer market missed one
thing: the .44-caliber Magnum in his belt.
One of the muggers, nicknamed "B-Boy," put the barrel of a BB gun to Boone's head. The
other, "Taz," reached for his wallet.
Then Boone fired three shots heard 'round the city.
(The Associated Press)
USING QUOTATIONS
Reporters usually avoid using quotations in leads. Sources rarely provide quotes that meet
three criteria for leads: (1) They summarize the entire story (not just part of it), (2) they
are brief, and (3) they are self-explanatory. Some editors prohibit the use of quotation
leads because they lack clarity and often are too long and complicated. As with the use of
any quote in a story, the source's statement should be so effective the reporter cannot
improve it. When used in the first line of a story, a quote also must tell the reader the
point of the story:
"I wanted to slam the plane into a mountain so I could die with my husband," said Betty
Smith, whose husband died at its controls. But then she thought of her children on the
ground.
"Our children can't read, add or find countries on a map," the nation's teacher-of theyear said at a congressional hearing Wednesday.
If a quote is only sensational, then it does not meet the criteria noted above. It may be
suitable to use in the story, but not in the lead. Reporters have other ways of writing leads
that will startle readers or grab their attention. Remember that the lead provides the
organization for the rest of the story. If the quote does not lead readers into and set the
stage for the rest of the story, then it will only confuse and discourage them. Even within
the body of a story, a quote should be brief. In the lead, brevity is a virtue because a
complicated, long quote will raise unnecessary questions.
Avoid quotations that begin with words needing identification or explanation, words like
"he," "she," "we," "they," "it," "that" and "this." If such words open a story, readers have
no way of knowing to whom or what the words refer. When the subject's identity is
revealed later in a story, readers may have to reread the quotation to understand its
meaning.
Leads using a quotation often can be rewritten with a brief introduction placed before the
quotation to enhance its clarity:
"The water was rising so fast and the bank was so muddy and slippery I just didn't think I
could get away from that torrent of water." That's how a Bremerton man described his
ordeal just before rescue workers used a utility truck to pluck him out of a tree he had
climbed to escape a flash flood during Monday night's thunderstorms.
REVISED: A Bremerton man who was rescued from a tree he had climbed to escape a
flash flood Monday night said, "The water was so fast and the bank was so muddy and
slippery I just didn't think I could get away from that torrent of water."
USING QUESTIONS
Questions occasionally make effective leads. Some editors, though, prohibit question
leads because they believe news stories should answer questions, not ask them. Also,
question leads often run the risk of being cliches.
To be effective, question leads must be brief, simple, specific and provocative. The
question should contain no more than a dozen words. Moreover, readers should feel
absolutely compelled to answer it. Avoid questions if the readers' responses may
discourage them from continuing with the story:
Are you interested in nuclear physics?
A few readers might be interested in nuclear physics, but many would think the story too
complicated. This question lead also fails because readers can answer "yes" or "no,"
possibly ending the reader's interest in the story.
A question should concern a controversial issue that readers are familiar with and that
interests and affects them. Avoid abstract or complicated questions requiring a great deal
of explanation.
The following question is ineffective because it is too abstract, long and complicated.
Moreover, it fails to ask about issues that everyone is certain to care about:
If you were on vacation miles from your house, and you thought the mechanics at a
service station deliberately damaged your car, then demanded an exorbitant fee to repair
it, would you be willing to file criminal charges against the mechanics and return to the
area to testify at their trial?
The following questions also fail, but for different reasons. The first question asks about
an issue unlikely to concern most readers. The second question is unanswerable and
flippant, treating a serious topic as a trivial one:
Have you thought lately about going to prison?
Someone was swindled today. Who'll be swindled tomorrow?
The following questions make more effective leads. Notice that immediately after asking
a question, the reporter answers it:
What's in your wallet -- or trash?
For most people, a wallet contains a handful of credit cards, retail store cards, ATM
card, driver's license, health insurance card, video rental card, Social security card and
a few blank checks.
(Chambersburg (Pa.] Public Opinion)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------CHEBOYGAN-When every second counts, why pay by the minute? Representatives of the
fifth largest long-distance service in the United States are asking telephone users this
very question.
(The Cheboygan (Mich.] Daily Tribune)
SUSPENSEFUL LEADS
Some reporters write leads to create suspense, arouse readers' curiosity or raise a question
in their minds. By hinting at some mysterious development explained in a later paragraph,
this type of lead compels readers to finish a story:
LEESBURG-No funerals. No headstones. No sympathy cards.
Just a body, found without identification and buried without ceremony.
(The Orlando (Fla.] Sentinel)
NEW YORK-When Aaron Stansbury of Baltimore ordered almost $500 worth of
California chardonnay this spring, three well-known wineries quickly filled his telephone
request.
They made a $55,000 mistake.
(USA Today)
The first story focused on the life and death of transients in a Florida city. The second
story reported on a police sting operation targeting wineries that mail wine directly to
consumers.
DESCRIPTIVE LEADS
Other leads begin with descriptive details that paint a picture for the reader before moving
gradually into the action. The description should be colorful and interesting, so that it
arouses readers' interest. The description should also help summarize the story.
The following examples show the effectiveness of descriptive leads. Notice the use of
concrete images and active verbs in the first lead: "wounded animal," "warm asphalt" and
"slender frame"; "twisted," "heaving" and "streaming":
Tina Volker crouches like a wounded animal on the warm asphalt, her face twisted in
fear, her shoulders heaving as sobs rack her slender frame.
"I just want him to leave me alone," she shouts, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I just want to get on with my life."
Handcuffed in the back of a Sacramento County Sheriff's department squad car, agitated
and drenched with sweat, is the man she has loved and hated for five years.
(The Sacramento [Calif.] Bee)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------TRINIDAD, Texas-With holsters strapped to their hips, three bearded men wearing
camouflage hats and torn jeans sit in folding chairs at the end of a dirt driveway.
Homemade signs hang on the gate, barbed-wire fence and trees: "We are militia and will
live free or die!" "Disobedience to tyranny is obedience to God!" "Notice to all public
servants. No trespassing-survivors will be prosecuted."
(The Associated Press)
The second lead describes the scene of a police standoff near a small Texas town near
Waco and how events in Waco shaped the events in this standoff.
SHOCKERS - LEADS WITH A TWIST
Reporters like "shockers"-startling leads that immediately capture the attention of readers.
The following examples have an unusual twist that adds to their effectiveness:
Driving a car is a rite of passage for teenagers in the United States. And for an enormous
number of them, it is a passage to the graveyard.
(The Washington Post)
MANAGUA, Nicaragua-She had been raped. She was pregnant. And she was poor. And
Rosa was 9. That gave her one more reason to want an abortion.
(The Los Angeles Times)
IRONIC LEADS
Closely related to shockers are leads that present a startling or ironic contrast. The use of
striking details is likely to arouse readers' curiosity:
She earned $27,000 a year but owned 300 pairs of shoes. Now she's paying for it. The 24year-old former manager of an Ann Taylor boutique plans to file for bankruptcy-one of a
growing number of young adults who are so in over their heads financially that they've
resorted to bankruptcy to bail themselves out.
(Los Angeles Times)
When union activist Oliver French goes on trial today on charges of killing two auto
plant colleagues and wounding two others, he likely will be portrayed as the victim.
(The Detroit News)
DIRECT-ADDRESS LEADS
Reporters occasionally use a form of direct address, speaking directly to their readers:
PHOENIX - Picture this scenario. You're walking along when you notice a poster for a
Springsteen concert. "The Boss is coming here!!???" So you grab your cell phone, aim it
at a bar code on the poster, and are wirelessly connected to an online ticket agent.
(USA Today)
WASHINGTON - Consider the penny. Or rather, consider what it can buy, which is-well,
what is it even worth these days?
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
WORD PLAY -- WORDS USED IN UNUSUAL WAYS
A clever reporter with a good imagination (or a good grasp of literature) can use a
common word or phrase in an uncommon way:
FOUNTAIN V ALLEY, Calif.-The Internal Revenue Service is playing hardball with the
Fountain Valley Girls' Softball League, and the players, ages 4 to 14, are crying foul.
(The Washington Post)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Perhaps it was God's joke on a newly ordained priest when the Rev. Jim Farnan, former
class clown and no stranger to the detention room, was asked to speak with the
occasional clone of his former self at Our Lady of Fatima School.
(The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
This style is difficult, because what seems funny or clever to one person may seem corny
or silly to another. Also, the subjects may be too serious for such a light touch:
Oakland County Prosecutor Richard Thompson wants to be known by the criminals he
keeps.
(The Detroit Free Press)
The story was about the high costs a prosecutor was creating for the county by refusing to
plea bargain with criminals.
OTHER UNUSUAL LEADS
The following leads are difficult to categorize. All the leads are unusual yet effective.
Notice their simplicity, brevity and clarity. Also, notice the leads' emphasis on the
interesting and unusual.
The first lead introduces a story describing the effects of unusually cold weather on the
economy. The second lead reports the death of actress Audrey Hepburn, who played Eliza
little in the movie "My Fair Lady." The third lead introduces the man in charge of
demolishing Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh.
WASHINGTON-Jack Frost is nipping at our growth.
(The Wall Street Journal)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Audrey Hepburn was the fairest lady of them all.
(The Detroit News)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Circuses have ringmasters. Military boot camps have drill sergeants. The Three Rivers
Stadium implosion has Greg Yesko, who's a bit of both.
(The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)