This is an example of an “A” essay by a sophomore in 10 ACP.
Student 1
Student Name
Mrs. Garcia
English 10 ACP
13 April 2012
Naturally Evil
William Golding's Lord of the Flies suggests that the basic nature of humankind is evil.
Although people may appear to be "good," society conditions them to be the opposite. When
taken out of a community with regulations and expectations, the true character of a person comes
out. The absence of authority gives the characters the opportunity to discover their inner evil.
Unfortunately, the characters deemed "good" cannot survive in this kind of society and therefore
die. In essence, people have a natural inclination to be evil.
Within a short period of time, the boys discover a "beast" on the island but cannot
comprehend that the evil simply lives within themselves. They become adamant that this beast is
going to harm them. This notion first appears when Piggy says, "A snake-thing. Ever so big. He
saw it" (Golding 35). The snake symbolizes the devil, which represents all that is evil. This
relates to the idea that the pig head on the top of the island is the "lord of the flies." Flies are
associated with dead and decaying beings because they swarm them. If the flies represent death,
then the Lord of the Flies is the lord of death. He refers to Simon as being "alone" (143). Since
both the Lord of the Flies and Simon are present, the Lord of the Flies implies that they are one
being. Therefore, the children are devil-like or evil. In addition, the beast tells Simon, "'You
knew, didn't you? I'm a part of you? Close, close, close!'..." (143). This exemplifies the fact that
the beast lies within the children. Lastly, Ralph is determined to convince the children that there
is not a beast, even if he is not certain himself. He does not want to admit there is a beast, similar
Student 2
to how people do not want to recognize there is a devil. Acknowledging the beast or the devil
would be admitting that there is evil in the world and that it lies within oneself.
In addition to the notion of the "beast," the boys' simple behaviors demonstrate that in
general, people are evil when consequences go unenforced. Their deliberate cruelty stands out
when Ralph insists on calling Piggy the only name he does not want, "Piggy." It makes him feel
poorly about his body, but Ralph only sees the humor in the name. Another example of
intentional cruelty shows up when Jack deprives Piggy of meat. They have plenty, and there is
no reason why Piggy should not have any. The boys are just evil. In addition, in the beginning of
the novel, Roger, a strong "biggun," is found throwing rocks near Henry. However, he purposely
aims to miss. This is explained when the author writes, "Roger stooped, picked up a stone,
aimed, and threw it at Henry--- threw is to miss… Yet there was a space round Henry, perhaps
six yards in diameter, into which he dare not throw. Here, invisible yet strong, was the taboo of
the old life" (62). Roger knows the boundaries set by his old society. He understands that he
should not throw rocks at people because it is immoral. The old, organized society considers this
a taboo because violence is evil. The pressure of the old society protects Henry. Roger still holds
onto the rules of his old ways because he feels people are watching and judging him. Even
though Roger "threw it to miss," he still throws it in the first place. He tests his limits and sees
how much he can get away with. This illustrates the inner inclination to be evil. Also, throwing
rocks is a prelude to the end of the book, when Roger kills Piggy. By then, Roger has completely
forgotten the structure of an organized "government." When Piggy attempts to restore order with
the conch and get his glasses back from Jack, Roger pushes a large boulder down upon Piggy
that kills him. Without the pressure from society to be "good," Roger is free to act as maliciously
as he desires. He commits cold blooded murder. The stone symbolizes evil. Roger starts off
Student 3
small, with stones that do not even harm people, and then he reveals his true character with the
massive boulder. He becomes more evil as he detaches from the old society. Ultimately, the
rocks thrown reflect the boys' true character.
The violent "dance" the boys do also exemplifies their evil instinct, which mirrors the
"Group Monkey Dance" found in real-world gangs. Characteristics of the dance include desiring
dominance and treating the victim as a non-human. They also succumb to peer pressure and
strive for acceptance. Gang members go along with the choices of the group out of fear of being
the outsider. According to Golding, for a society to thrive, the moral responsibly must be forced
upon the individual, not the political system. They all join in and take pleasure in the dance. At
one point in the novel, the Lord of the Flies tells Simon, "We are going to have fun on this
island!" (144). Cynical people consider violence fun. The idea that hunting and violence appeals
to them is also revealed when they all chant, "Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!"
(152). The group starts out dancing playfully, but when Simon, who the boys think is the "beast,"
comes crawling out of the woods, the dance turns into pure torture. The mob becomes vicious,
and Golding depicts them saying "The sticks fell and the mouth of the new circle crunched and
screamed" (152). They also "leapt on the beast, screamed, struck, bit, tore. There were no words,
and no movements but the tearing of teeth and claws" (153). The boys would not be capable of
these actions if they were not naturally sadistic. In addition, Golding compares the boys to
animals. Their "claws" are their fingers. Animals have natural instincts to attack predators.
Lastly, the "mouth" proves that the boys are killers because they surround and consume their
prey. They act as one "single organism" and "the center of the ring yawned" (152). By saying
that it yawned, the boys embody a mouth. One boy even states that the beast "wanted to eat him"
Student 4
(36). Animals have an inborn and inherent nature to hunt and be savages. Therefore, the boys are
the evil beast.
The society that the boys create on the island is one of violence and malevolence, which
leaves no room for the truly good and innocent people. In general, when characters in a book die,
even a metaphorical death, it is because they, or an aspect they possess does not fit in society.
Characters cannot survive in a place that they do not belong or are not wanted. The Lord of the
Flies informs Simon, "'You're not wanted'" (144). Simon, as well as Piggy, does not fit in a
society surrounded by evil because they represent innocence and goodness. Although Piggy does
join in on killing Simon, Piggy feels guilty once he realizes that it was Simon. Piggy thinks he is
doing good killing the beast, essentially killing evil. If he could comprehend that he kills the only
chance of restoring order and morality, he would have stopped. Simon understands the
importance of rules and sees that the absence of them causes people to be evil. He sees this when
the author writes, "Simon found he was looking into a vast mouth. There was a blackness
within... Simon was inside the mouth" (144). Their daily lives are consumed by the beast, and
therefore, they are consumed by evil. This proves that the kids are evil because they make a
mouth shape out of themselves when they kill Simon. The black mouth symbolizes the devil or
evilness. A sadistic and violent society is no place for someone who wants to keep goodness
alive. Consequently, Simon and Piggy have to die.
Ultimately, William Golding's Lord of the Flies implies that humankind is naturally evil.
This is an accurate portrayal of the human race. Everyone has evil within themselves, even if it is
not obvious. The boys on the island develop into animals and beasts in the absence of authority.
Without rules, their true personality shines through and causes chaos. Golding wants to show
how people conform to society and provide a false sense of morality. Children are chosen to
Student 5
represent the society because children are almost always blunt and honest. Their evil character
comes instinctually.
Teacher Notes:
This essay scored an A
On a scale of 1 to 6 in each category, for a maximum total of 24, the student scored 25, broken
down as follows:
Thesis or Controlling Idea:
6
Evidence and Text Support:
6
Ideas, Extension, and Elaboration: 5
Organization, Mechanics, and Style: 6
The essay was strong overall.
 The proofreading is virtually flawless.
 The essay contains ample textual evidence.
 The student uses apt vocabulary, with the exception of p. 2 where the word “simple” does not
seem to quite fit the context of the sentence.
Teacher comments:
 p. 1 “Interesting, but then why is good shown triumphing over evil in so many movies?
What does it take for good to prevail?”
 p. 4 “…can link to the atomic WWIII going on in the so-called civilized world”