Write your own lu-shi
Write an 8-line poem that describes a change in condition and that makes use of yi
jing and focused detail. Try to approximate regulated verse, using for a pattern
Du Fu’s “Gazing in Springtime” (p. 270), Wang Wei’s “Autumn Dusk at
Mountain Lodge” or his “Fields and Gardens at the River Qi” which is on my
Chinese poetry page.
Requirements:
Write it in the 8-line format that Du Fu and Wang Wei use. The line should
consist of five major objects or actions or ideas. (Five syllables in Chinese, but
definitely more than five syllables in English.) Use the rough translation of
“Autumn Dusk…” as a guide
The topic can be about a place that you* like, or in which you feel calm or at
home. Or it can be about a place where something has changed and its effect on
you. (*this doesn’t have to be ‘you’; it can just be a narrator)
1. This should either be set in nature or discuss natural details in the setting.
2. Somewhere in the poem, I want you to make use of yi jing
(‘meaningscape’): the description of setting should reflect the feelings of the
speaker. This means that the poem is written from a first-person
perspective.
3. In either lines 3 & 4 or 5& 6, employ the parallelism used in regulated
verse. The best poems will use a parallelism that contains an ironic or
contrasting parallelism.
4. This should make some reference to the human world: the community or
society at large.
5. End with a focused detail that reflects the effect on the narrator or
speaker.
6. This should be poetic, not just literal. It should make use of metaphor,
metonymy or synecdoche
7. The lines should approximate the Chinese verses, which contain five
elements each. I don’t mean five words, but five basic ideas: nouns, verbs,
adjectives.
8. The lines should be end-stopped; that means each should be a selfcontained statement.
9. A good poem shows rather than tells; it uses precise detail to convey a
message or evoke a feeling.
A. Choose a topic:
This poem should describe a place that you know (or the speaker knows), or a
place that you’ve been to. It could show a change in condition, a breach in order
that can be reflected in nature or the physical environment and that has some
particular, personal effect on the narrator. Or it could just reflect on the way that
place is. Start with a title.
B. Lines 1 & 2:
Offer a description of what the scene looks like. There should be a noun that
relates to the place, and then other words that describe or show the condition.
C. Lines 3 & 4:
Write two more lines that describe the environment and reflect the feelings of the
narrator or viewer. This would be the best place to use yi jing, in which the
description of the environment reflects the feelings of the viewer or speaker
(Note: you aren’t really create yi jing unless you somewhere identify the
speaker’s point of view.)
D. Lines 5 & 6:
Write two more lines that give a sense of what is going on in this place as it
relates to people or the community, or of an effect of a changed condition on the
community or people in general.
E. Lines 7 & 8:
Write two final lines that focus on a small detail that reflects the effect of the
change in condition, especially from the particular point of view of the narrator.