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Living with an unsaved spouse is never a sin. However, it is a major problems which
many spouses face. The faith in Christ however helps the saved spouses to live together with an
unsaved one. Ephesians 5:22 highlights the submission of wives to their husbands. However,
there are no conditions provided for the submission.
We should live an exemplary life to attract the unsaved spouse to Christ’s life (1 peter
3:1).We should live by a great example of submission (1 peter 3:5).
We should never give up. Never give up in getting into the life style of the unsaved
spouse in a wonderful way. Pray for her or him.
Love your spouse in whichever situation. The Bible is written that God is love. Showing
your spouse the acts of love attracts them more and more into the life of salvation. One should
not hate the fellow spouse because they are not saved. Instead, they should love them more and
more. Love in the long run creates strong bonding which creates a favorable atmosphere of
influencing the spouse into the life of salvation. Moreover there should be a creation of a
spiritual environment in the family, for example where the spouses pray together and read the
word of God together.
We should learn to forgive because there comes a time when there are conflicts at home
between the spouses. Do not use abusive language. Correcting a fellow spouse with love wins
his/her heart more easily.
When staying with an unsaved spouse always learn to humble and to apologize. Do not
despise a fellow spouse because of the situation he/she is in.
Be happy always and do not stay in the cocoons of sorrow. This sign of joy and love
which keeps the harmony in the family. Moreover never cease to pray.
The saved couple needs to show love to the unsaved one having the foreknowledge that
marriage is a God’s doing and a display of his work to depict the relationship of Christ and the
church defined by unconditional love. John Piper in his book “the Momentary Marriage “ write
to remind us that marriage is about God and not necessarily about our happiness and if we treat
the other partner as Jesus would then through our action, they will be drawn closer to this God.
Always pray with and for them that God will change them. Praying for someone means
you care and are concerned with their well being and we know prayers of a righteous
man/woman avails much. When the unsaved partners know that you keep praying for hem even
when they do wrong it will encourage them to want to know about God and your faith. James
Encourage them to join you for church or even when that church members come to visit
at home. It will show him or her that you really care and will want to be seen with them seated
together in that church pew or just walking home from church together.
Constantly remind them of the loving God and how He longs to be gracious to us. Tell
them of his unconditional love for us that absolutely nothing can separate us from; not our
friends, family, sins; Satan and even death can separate us from this amazing love
Never let go your vows to him because of their unbelief. Keep trusting God for
transformation of their lives and conviction but don’t you take heed from friends for instance to
separate him or let go your partner. I Corinth 7:12- Paul is encouraging such couples to stay
together because marriage is just any other thing we get into and leave as we wish but is sacred
institution that is bound by a covenant. Stick around and hope for the best, after all, the hope we
have in Christ as we are reminded in Romans does not disappoint.
Finally, be their best friend through it all. Always be willing to spend long hours listening
to them with a heart of understanding. Give them that wonderful good morning smile that takes
away the earthly sorrows and seek to understand them.
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