Christian Middleton
Cem3245
Satirical Analysis 1.1
The Onion on Objects
In the satirical article “Teenage Girl Blossoming into Beautiful Object” written and
published by The Onion, the issue of the female body being objectified is brought to light. In
both past and recent history, women have been often been thought of as sexual commodities and
in this case it is the 17 year-old Ashley Parker. Through the use of various rhetorical features
such as ironic reversal, logic, credibility, and sex appeals, the article effectively commentates on
the longstanding problem of women as sex objects in both humorous-enforcing and seriousexposing contexts.
The article’s audience is clearly meant for both satire enthusiasts and dupes.
Those that read The Onion with open eyes see both the humorous and serious contexts of the
article. Those that read The Onion thinking it is a reputable news source, however, mistake the
humorous context for the serious context and find themselves shocked and offended, often times
leading to a rage-fueled social media post about it. By fooling the dupes into thinking it is an
actual news source, an odd sense of credibility is fostered for both the dupes and the satire
enthusiasts; if it is so well-written that people mistake it for real news, satire enthusiasts are more
likely to read it thoroughly. These are the two demographics that The Onion caters to and both of
them help spread the article to a broader audience in their own ways.
The article begins with a logical approach to organization. At the very top there is a
picture of a very attractive girl with supple features and the caption below says “The beautiful
object, 17”. The image, combined with the caption, foreshadows the article’s main social
commentary that men are pigs. The age was no mistake because, for most of us readers, she is
not quite yet legal but she will be soon. This adds credibility to the titles’ word choice of
“blossoming”. Family members are also mentioned, such as her uncle Keith and mother, who
confirmed that she, in fact, is becoming “a ravishing thing devoid of intellect and personality”.
These factors help kick start the article on a credible foot.
Having established credibility, the article then proceeds to cast women being sex objects
in a good light and all otherwise-endearing qualities in a bad light. It does this through ironic
reversal and firsthand testimonies from acquaintances. For example, her teacher stated that she
used to be one of the best and brightest students in class but now she is “something very special
indeed”. The ethos of The Onion is almost always a very serious form of humor where they take
a universally understood phenomenon, reverse the takeaway, and create an article that enforces
the message we shouldn’t be endorsing. Today, society dictates that a quality woman should be
are beautiful, intelligent, funny, ambitious, and the list goes on. The point being is that they are
not merely a “dazzling sexual apparatus” for men to objectify. However, the sad truth of the
matter is that men ogle over women daily, making remarks we hope they never hear about their
assets and what we would do to them. For this reason, The Onion has taken that issue and created
a satirical article endorsing the objectification of women as sex objects.
The humorous context of this satirical piece revolves around the ludicrous assertions by
her acquaintances. Her uncle Keith sums it up best; “It’s hard to believe that she used to be that
little girl [capable of subjective experiences] that I remember. Now look at her—she’s such a
lovely vessel for displaced sexual frustration and voyeuristic lust, just like her mother”. Not only
is her uncle sounding like the creepiest uncle in existence, he makes the borderline-raping of his
niece by others sound like a good thing. In addition to that, he makes it seem like all girls haven’t
bloomed until they learn to bend over and take it both literally and figuratively. The fact that
these assertions are written in what looks like a reputable news-source, in a manner that sounds
legitimate and credible, makes the humor that much more emotionally appealing.
The shock factor brought on by the phrasing and word choice helps maintain the humor
throughout the article. A male student at her high school described Parker as a “beautiful little
piece of equipment” and that he was “thinking of asking that mere receptacle to prom”. These
innuendos to her being nothing more than a sex doll are so shocking that they are funny because
there is no way a reputable news source would publish these things seriously.
While the article is humorous by nature, the serious subtext is the driving force behind
the article. If you take all of the ironic reversals within the article and reverse them, it is very
easy to see the point the article tries to make: women should not be objectified by men. For
example, her relatives stated that she “the high school junior underwent a staggering
metamorphosis from a young girl with thoughts, feelings, and aspirations into a truly stunning
commodity”. If we switch this around to “the high school junior underwent a staggering
metamorphosis from a young commodity into a girl with thoughts, feelings, and aspirations”, we
arrive at the serious commentary that the article makes.
In this satirical work, The Onion manages to shed light on the issue of objectifying
women. While some people may mistake this article for fact, the large part of their audience
takes it for what it is: a humorous piece on a serious subject. By using numerous rhetorical
features such as ironic reversal, logic, credibility, and sex appeals, the article effectively
commentates on the longstanding problem of women as sex objects in both humorous and
serious contexts.