MN/SAR for excerpt from An Invisible Sign of My Own and “Watching for Dolphins”
MN
1. (prose: excerpt from An Invisible Sign of My Own)
An adequate to good literary commentary will:
 understand the general context of the narrator’s family relationships and situations
 show an awareness of Mona’s developing maturity and/or independence
 discuss structural features such as repetition, short paragraphs, long sentences etc.
 consider some of the images and figures of speech eg the bed “standing in the middle of the
front lawn like a cow.”
 comment on the focus upon numbers and math in the passage
 show an awareness of how unconventional a person the narrator is.
A very good to excellent literary commentary may also:
 discuss the workings and functions of the humour in the passage whilst seeing some of the
darkness of the piece
 see significance in the insistent reference to numbers by the narrator
 engage persuasively with the idea of “knocking on wood”
 notice the distinctive treatment of the father and his sickness
 have more to say about the personality of the narrator and her “protecting” of “the world”.
2. (poetry: “Watching for Dolphins”)
An adequate to good literary commentary will:
 show awareness of the context and actions of passengers on a busy ferry
 offer some suggestion as to the significance of the activity of watching in the poem
 consider some of the effects of imagery (“Stared like a saint”, “domed like satyrs”, etc.)
 recognize the fact that the dolphins are not actually seen
 recognize the stanzaic structure of the poem and detect some of its possible effects
 offer some suggestion about the significance of the final lines/stanza of the poem.
A very good to excellent literary commentary may also:
 recognize the “spirituality” of the poem, possibly in terms of the “wanted epiphany” of which it
speaks, or its use of religious or mythological images (Christian, Ancient Greek, etc.)
 consider the part played by an imagined appearance of the dolphins
 discuss in greater depth the significance of dolphins not being seen
 offer a persuasive reading of the final stanza.
SAR
Prose commentary
The majority of students who chose the prose were able to grasp the main scenario of the passage - the
fact that Mona had been asked to leave home and her journey towards independence. Weaker students
missed the reasoning behind the mother’s actions, choosing to ignore the indications of her clear love
and concern for her daughter. Many could comment on the choice of imagery used and analyse its
effect. Analysis of Mona’s bed, the description of the highway and the blank walls of the new apartment
was generally handled well. Only a relatively small number of candidates linked Mona’s compulsive
knocking on the tree to the superstition of ‘knocking on wood’. However, stronger candidates were still
able to offer a convincing interpretation of the significance of this action. Surprisingly, a significant
number of candidates offered only superficial analysis of the characterisation of the parents and the
relationship of the family members, choosing to focus on elements of the passage that were less
fundamental to understanding. The most successful candidates, however, offered a sustained and
persuasive reading of the different characters, exploring subtleties in the text.
Students of all abilities could understand that the number 9 was significant to Mona and the more
successful explored this in detail – some making a link to the knocking and suggesting Mona’s behaviour
demonstrated signs of OCD.
Only a small number picked up on the humour and the contrast created with the darker elements of the
passage. Structural elements were also often passed over or completely ignored. Overall, there was a
wide variety of responses on this passage but stronger candidates were able to do very well and
produce some impressive literary analysis.
Poetry commentary
This poem proved accessible to students of all different abilities. All were able to glean it was about
passengers on a boat searching for dolphins and most tried to explore the deeper meaning of this
‘search’ with varying degrees of success. A significant number of students failed to appreciate that the
dolphins didn’t actually appear and while they were not unduly penalised for this, it did indicate the
need for a close and through reading of the poem. Again, candidates had clearly been taught to identify
the key literary features in a poem and were able to do this; imagery, word choice and alliteration were
focused on in particular and there was some persuasive and impressive analysis of the effects of these
techniques. A note of caution about alliteration – candidates need to be wary about placing too much
emphasis on this technique. There was a significant amount of alliteration in this poem and some
commentary on its effect was certainly justified. However, some candidates wrote long, rambling
paragraphs about the repetition of ‘s’, which were not particularly convincing. Stronger students were
able to offer astute analysis of the effects of the poem’s structure and the use of irregular rhyme.
However, weaker students tended to either ignore structure completely or address it by summarising
the main points of each stanza, which must have been time-consuming and again, did little to
demonstrate their skills of literary analysis. The modal ‘ should have’ caused difficulties for a significant
number of students who read it as an expression of past regret rather than the establishment of a
hypothetical scenario about what would have happened had the dolphins appeared.
Some students took a very formulaic approach to the structuring of their response. Commonly, the
introduction would focus on 2-3 literary devices, followed by three long sections on each of these
devices. This appeared to be a very limiting approach and tended to lead to a rather narrow reading of
the poem. Other candidates seemed intent on attaching a symbolic meaning to the poem at the
expense of all else. This approach encouraged them to ignore a lot of significant detail in the poem and
make sweeping statements which they were unable to support convincingly with textual evidence.
Overall, by far the most successful responses were those from candidates who engaged in a thorough,
close reading of the poem and who were prepared to explore and speculate rather than to attach one
definitive meaning.