Ways to Start Your Essay That Aren’t Terrible
Ms. Goodman Explains how to Write a Hook
M. Goodman
MARCH 27 2014
Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines “hook” as “1. An object used for the catching or ‘hooking’ of objects; 2. The worst
part of writing an essay (other than actually beginning the stupid thing); 3. The thing that makes all English teachers question their
choice of profession.” Since the beginning of time, readers of high school essays have been plagued by the terrible essay hook. For the
faint of heart, it brings nightmares: anxiety dreams that trump the beginning-of-school jitters. For the veteran readers it elicits a mere
soul-crushing groan or outraged exclamation.
Did you know that most hooks that teachers read are terrible?! How would you feel if you had to read over one hundred
essays that began with pointless definitions, silly rhetorical questions, or overblown statements of anachronistic and temporal
inaccuracy?!
Not to mention the punctuation.
Spare us the pain. Please write a hook that does not suck the joy out of our lives. Here’s how:
1. The interesting story: Find a story that relates to your topic and tell it with verve and sensory detail
2. The statement of interesting fact: State an interesting fact. State several facts that contradict themselves. Explain
3. The grandiose intro: Go big. Go a little hyperbolic. Paint a picture that draws your reader in.
Ways to Start Your Essay That Aren’t Terrible
Ms. Goodman Explains how to Write a Hook
M. Goodman
MARCH 27 2014
Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines “hook” as “1. An object used for the catching or ‘hooking’ of objects; 2. The worst
part of writing an essay (other than actually beginning the stupid thing); 3. The thing that makes all English teachers question their
choice of profession.” Since the beginning of time, readers of high school essays have been plagued by the terrible essay hook. For the
faint of heart, it brings nightmares: anxiety dreams that trump the beginning-of-school jitters. For the veteran readers it elicits a mere
soul-crushing groan or outraged exclamation.
Did you know that most hooks that teachers read are terrible?! How would you feel if you had to read over one hundred
essays that began with pointless definitions, silly rhetorical questions, or overblown statements of anachronistic and temporal
inaccuracy?!
Not to mention the punctuation.
Spare us the pain. Please write a hook that does not suck the joy out of our lives. Here’s how:
1. The interesting story: Find a story that relates to your topic and tell it with verve and sensory detail
2. The statement of interesting fact: State an interesting fact. State several facts that contradict themselves. Explain
3. The grandiose intro: Go big. Go a little hyperbolic. Paint a picture that draws your reader in.
Ways to Start Your Essay That Aren’t Terrible
Ms. Goodman Explains how to Write a Hook
M. Goodman
MARCH 27 2014
Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines “hook” as “1. An object used for the catching or ‘hooking’ of objects; 2. The worst
part of writing an essay (other than actually beginning the stupid thing); 3. The thing that makes all English teachers question their
choice of profession.” Since the beginning of time, readers of high school essays have been plagued by the terrible essay hook. For the
faint of heart, it brings nightmares: anxiety dreams that trump the beginning-of-school jitters. For the veteran readers it elicits a mere
soul-crushing groan or outraged exclamation.
Did you know that most hooks that teachers read are terrible?! How would you feel if you had to read over one hundred
essays that began with pointless definitions, silly rhetorical questions, or overblown statements of anachronistic and temporal
inaccuracy?!
Not to mention the punctuation.
Spare us the pain. Please write a hook that does not suck the joy out of our lives. Here’s how:
1. The interesting story: Find a story that relates to your topic and tell it with verve and sensory detail
2. The statement of interesting fact: State an interesting fact. State several facts that contradict themselves. Explain
3. The grandiose intro: Go big. Go a little hyperbolic. Paint a picture that draws your reader in.