Remember the Time, but Don’t Relive the Time:
What does it mean to Remember? Remember by definition means To Recall, To Have or
Keep an Image Or Idea Of Someone or Something, To take into consideration, To keep in
mind, To retain, To be mindful of.
So if remember means to recall or keep an image-- what does it mean to Relive?
Reliving is significantly different than remembering. To relive is to call back something so
clearly that the same emotions you felt in the past are felt again.
Reliving is by definition the past--- an emotionally overwhelming past and as such today
I am going to talk to you about why you should Remember the Time but not Relive the
Time. I have some experience with differentiating the two.
1983 I remember the time I returned home from school but my mother would not let me in
until the police arrived and spoke to her.
1984 I remember my parents attempted reconciliation ending in a domestic violence
incident.
1985 I remember the realization that my mother was addicted to drugs and that my father
would not play an active parental role in my life.
1986 I remember the multiple times that the school secretary and attendance assistant
chastised me for always being called home to baby-sit my brother.
These are significant moments that I remember. I remember them to assist new teachers in
understanding the impact a life of instability can have for a young person.
I remember them as evidence of my ability to be resilient.
Yet I do not relive the moments of uncertainty and fear-- for reliving my childhood trauma
will create more barriers not draw out the strength or energy I need to be an advocate for
students.
1990 I remember the first shelter we moved into—my two younger brothers, mother, and
I.
I remember the plastic bags that held all our possessions, the shame of not wanting friends
to know where I lived and the violation when I saw another resident wearing one of my
favorite shirts that my mother had let her borrow.
1991 I remember my 11th grade English teacher telling me how it was such a shame that I
was a great speaker but a poor writer.
I remember these moments of being violated but I don’t relive the sense of helplessness—
rather I remember the commitment I made to never place myself in a situation in which I
could not advocate for myself.
LOOK UP AT AUDIENCE
Graduating class of 2015 I have read the graduate profiles and I know that the 2015
graduating class can relate to my experience. Your efforts are not lost on me. For many-you are the first. I understand the tenacity it takes to be the first.
I urge you to remember what brought you to community college as your first or second
step in higher education--- you were the ones who decided age won’t stop you-- lack of
support won’t stop you--- the many times you tried and was not successful won’t stop you--people’s low expectations won’t stop you.
1992 I remember graduating high school and becoming the first person in my family to
attend a four-year university.
In 1995 I refused to be stopped. After 8 months of going back and forth to court, I gained
legal custody of my two younger brothers.
In 1996 I remember working three jobs at a time-- Maricela Sedano knows what that is
like—During this time I was an afterschool assistant, a program assistant and a package
loader for UPS during the graveyard shift-- all while I struggled to finish my last classes.
A hurdle I would only get over because a middle school friend paid my last semester of
college—yes my middle school friend paid for my last semester so I could graduate with a
Bachelor of Arts in English from Cal State Hayward—now known as CSU East Bay.
I remember these successes and the support of others. And I am clear that it is not okay to
just simply relive these successes.
I must remember that there are people who want to help me with no expectation other
than that I continue forward. That the best gift in exchange for their support is to identify
my next set of goals and dreams and work towards them.
LOOK UP AT AUDIENCE
Class of 2015 remember this moment right now as you live out your success. And in a
week, month, or year from now don’t reach back to today, rather identify right now where
you want to be and the successes you want to have in three, five or tens years.
As Graduate Velma Collins understands you cannot attempt to Relive the Time here at LA
Southwest where things are comfortable and clear. Where you started organizations and
created networks. These are all great successes yet you cannot stop here. Rather you must
remember the support of the programs like Trio and Passages and from counselors and
instructors and continue to move forward with your life purpose.
In 2003 I was forced to remember my dreams—when my marriage ended and my youngest
brother left for college. Suddenly for the first time in my life all I had to take care of was
myself. As some of you know making yourself a priority can be a struggle. I remember my
dream of advocating for students and applied to the Graduate School of Education at UC
Berkeley.
I remember being in one of my first graduate classes at UC Berkeley. In every class we had
to present at the end of the semester and the video for my first presentation would not
load. I was embarrassed—felt like it was clear that I—a graduate of a state school had no
business attending UC Berkeley. To make matters worse a peer began making
unsupportive comments. After class was over I sat under an Oak tree and cried.
Crying under that tree, I was reliving the trauma of my 11th grade teacher and the
challenges I had already traversed. I almost fell into Reliving every obstacle
and then I paused
and remembered the truths I had learned about myself. I shut off the mental tape of failure
and stopped reliving painful moments in my life and began remembering my strengths, my
resiliency.
I made a promise to myself under that Oak tree that during graduate school I would not
relive the uncertainty of my young adulthood or the shame of my childhood, rather I would
remember the ideas that brought me to graduate school, the idea that I could be an
advocate—like Lessly Sanchez plans on doing after graduation---. That I could train
teachers to both see and see beyond a student’s temporary life circumstance.
Graduates! As you go on to pursue your education at Cal State Long Beach,
Pomona, or Dominguez Hills
, Loyola Marymount,
UCLA, UC Riverside,
or Clark-Atlanta—
or enter the work force
as a coach, business owner, or assistant
Remember your tenacity in finishing but don’t relive the obstacles or the barriers that may
have been a part of your initial introduction to higher education.
In 2011—5 years after that moment under the Oak tree-- I walked the stage at the
University of California, Berkeley and received my doctorate. I am Dr. Lanette Jimerson!!!
and in 2014 I returned to the University of California, Berkeley as the director of the
English Credential and Master’s program. I remembered my idea that I could impact the
educational experiences of students and I am living that dream.
LOOK UP AT AUDIENCE
Remember this time. As you sit in the stadium—with family and friends celebrating you—
remember the dreams and ideas you have right now for your future.
Odessa Cox held onto her idea of a community college for Southwest Los Angeles for 20
years. 20 years.
She must have experienced moments of defeat and obstacles that seemed like they would
not move.
She must have questioned herself and the audacity to have such an idea.
Yet she remembered the image that she could see of the college and the students it would
serve. Reuben Brown she understands your 27-year path to today’s commencement.
Los Angeles Southwest Community College Graduating class of 2015 you are the living
dream of Odessa Cox and now you must Remember the Time so that you too can Live Your
Dreams.