Daniela Chousal
English Period 2
January 29, 2014
Memoir: Winning a Dance Scholarship
My sister has always been good at everything, especially when it came to dance. She is
a tall, lean girl, with bronze hair falling down up to half her waist. She had a confidence from
here up to infinity and a smile that never seemed to take a rest. Dancing, for her was like
eating, easy, delightful and effortless. With a sister like her, I didn’t even try to do my best at
dancing. Paola always got scholarships when we went to compete. Me? l just told everyone I
didn’t want a scholarship, so they wouldn’t pity me, but the truth was I desired the scholarship
so much. One day I realized, that sitting there feeling sorry for myself every time the
scholarships were given, that sitting there hoping to get one even though I knew it was
impossible wasn’t worth it. I wanted to be the best that I could be at dance, so I decided to
switch my feelings and thoughts from negative to positive, believing that I could get a
scholarship if I put my mind to it.
My hands were shaking and trembling of excitement. It was the day of the convention
and I had made up my mind to win a scholarship. I had never wanted something so bad. I was
ready since 6 in the morning, and we weren’t leaving the house until 7, that was the level of
excitement I had inside of me. The only thing I could think of was you can’t mess up, not
again. I became more stressed and more nervous by the minute.
When we finally arrived to the convention, I saw my competition standing in front of me. I
looked around and thought, All these people, they will be my competition and I have to keep
an eye on every single one of them. The room was crowded, noisy and full of light, announcing
the name of the convention. I had never been more nervous in my life, and the convention
hadn’t even started. I couldn’t explain myself, it was as if my whole life depended on that
convention.
“Come on we have to arrive earlier than the others, so we can get a good spot in the
room!” My sister Paola exclaimed.
“Calm down, the convention doesn’t start until half an hour!” I stated.
“Dany… you know there are people saving spots since before.” Paola said, with a
worried look on her face “Why are you so nervous?”
“Paola, this is the first year in my entire life where I actually want something. I know that
this is easy for you. Getting a scholarship I mean.” I pointed out, kind of mad of her ignorance
“but not for me.”
“Well, I am just letting you know that being nervous doesn’t help.” She said, as she
walked away “I am also nervous but the difference is… I don’t show it.”
My sister was right, again. I hate when she is right, it makes me feel dumb and silly and a fool.
But this time, her pride actually helped me. I understood that if I wanted the judges to look at
me, and the other dancers to look at me and think of me as the best dancer in the whole wide
world, then I must act and feel like one too.
As I entered the dancing room I could feel the heat, the sweat, the competitiveness. My
hands were sweeting, and some drops of sweat already started to fall down my forehead. I
thought my heart was going to explode, because of its rapid beating. Don’t. The only word in
my mind was don’t. Don’t look nervous, don’t look desperate, don’t mess up, don’t let your
sister beat you again, don’t let others outshine you.
“Dany, Dany. Dany!” Paola shouted, already seated and ready to start dancing.
I ran toward her, and sat beside her. “Sorry, I was day dreaming.” I confessed, when
actually I was grieving about myself.
“Okay everyone, my name is Nick Lazzarini, and…” The tall, handsome teacher tried to
say, but was interrupted in the middle of his introduction because of dancer’s shouting at awe.
He was a professional dancer, who I might add would be judging us in our audition for a
scholarship. “I will be choreographing a jazz routine. So, you will start with your hands in you
chest…”
I looked around, watching every good dancer do their thing. I knew watching other
people, would only lower my self-esteem and make me more nervous, but it was all too
tempting. I was making my best efforts to do the routine as perfectly as possible, and to
memorize it completely.
The teacher was half way done teaching us the routine, when he said,
“Okay, since you don’t have groups I will assign them. But before I do, I will talk through how
the audition will go through. You will all have 2 rounds of practicing, without any judging
involved. After you practiced and went twice, all the other judges are going to arrive and
prepare to judge. I will then, separate the room into many small groups, those groups will
depend on your number. You will know the results after every group has gone.”
I looked down at my number, I was number 821, which meant that I was going to be one of
the last groups.
He climbed down the stairs and separated the room in 3 different groups, “Okay group
one, on the floor! Remember, this is round one of practicing.”
Thank god I was group three, because I didn’t fully knew the dance and I was going to
need all the practicing possible if I wanted to get that scholarship. I danced while groups
passed, focusing on every single detail. Group one finished dancing, and just like that my heart
started beating faster and faster. I was getting nervous, constantly distracting myself to watch
my competition dance instead of practicing myself.
“Group 2, on the floor!” Nick Lazzarini shouted, making sure all the room heard.
I practiced harder every second, forgetting the dance because of the stress and
nervousness.
“Nina, what if I don’t get the scholarship?” I asked to my friend beside me.
Nina was one of the best dancers in my academy, and just like Paola, she always got
scholarships. Not only was she a good dancer, but a good person with a great personality. She
was a brunette, with curly hair up to her shoulders. Her eyes and eyebrows matched her hair,
making her very pretty.
“Dany, you are an excellent dancer of course you are going to get the scholarship if that
is what you want.” My friend said, as if she knew what I was going through.
“No. Seriously. What will happen?” I intrigued again.
“Seriously?” She asked, even if she knew the answer “Well, you will just have to try again
in the next convention, and the next, until you get the scholarship.”
“Practice makes perfect.” I said, remembering that saying.
“You said it, practice makes perfect.” Nina mimicked.
“Group three, its your turn, on the floor!” Nick yelled.
As soon as I heard this, I ran to the center of the floor, making sure the teacher would see
me easily. I had to make sure Nick liked my dancing, even though this wasn’t the audition
because then when it was the audition he would already know that I deserve the scholarship. I
heard the music thumping in my ears, and instantly I started to dance the choreography. I
danced flawlessly, I don’t know if it was because it wasn’t the audition or because I started to
trust more in myself. Either way, I was thrilled and confident that I would kill the audition. In a
second, I had finished my dance, group one and group two had passed and just like that, it
was my turn to practice again.
I was confident enough to dance in the back, next to my friend Nina where there was
more space to dance freely. I was confident enough, that I didn’t need Nick Lazzarini to see
me dance, because I knew that I was a good dancer. The music started again, and this time I
did some improvisation before the dance started. When the beat that indicated that the
dance was about to start struck, I started dancing and I looked directly to the judge to be, as if
saying you don’t scare me anymore, I felt free. Then, I started to feel an aching pain in my
hand. I felt the pain travel from the elbow to the tip of the finger, and that is when I realized I
couldn’t move my hand. I stepped out of the floor, and said goodbye to the scholarship. I sat
down, crying internally, so nobody would pity me or would worry. It was incredibly unbelievable
the pain I was in. Then I remembered, I have had this same torture before. I think I was in
second grade when it happened; I had fallen of the monkey bar and broken my arm. I was
sure it was a broken arm, but I couldn’t have a broken arm. I was going to do the audition in
any second now. This is my only opportunity, and I am not willing to wait for another
convention to accomplish this dream. Now I was not only crying of agony, but of disbelief. It
wasn’t possible that the one day I wanted to do something so bad, I wasn’t going to be able
to do it. I felt someone poke me in the good arm, in the arm that didn’t break my dreams. I
looked up to see my mother smiling to comfort me, but I knew she was worried.
“Dany, my dear are you alright? I was filming you, when all of a sudden…” My mom
stated, her eyes downward and her eyebrows lifted.
“Mom you were what? You know you are not supposed to film anything.” I said.
“Well yes, but don’t you want to know who hit you?” My mom stated, trying to make me
laugh.
“Oh mom! Let me see it, please.” I said, barely laughing I felt a stabbing pain with just the
slightest of the motions.
As I was watching the recording, I was looking at my self and at my surroundings, to see
who moved when I unbalanced myself from my turns. Just as I fell off my turns, Nina lost her
balance. I rewinded the tape, to see if it was just a coincidence and someone else moved, or
if it really was her. No, she was the only person loosing their balance, just when I fell. I wasn’t
mad at Nina, I was sure it was an accident and as soon as she stopped dancing she was going
to ask for my forgiveness.
“It looks like Nina was the person that hit you, accidentally of course.” My mom said
matter-of-factly.
“Yes, indeed mom… I said trying to sound as British as possible, mimicking her tone of
voice.
I saw a person running toward me. My vision was kind of blurry, since my eyes were still
watery because of so much crying. As she came closer, I saw that it wasn’t just a person but
my sister.
“Dany! What happened? Who did this? Are you okay? You are going to be able to
audition right?” Paola asked worried as heck.
“Pau, calm down. Nina hit me accidentally, making me fall from my turns. But don’t you
worry,” I said, placing my hand in her shoulder “I am okay, and I will do the audition no matter
how much it aches.”
“Dany! Are you out of your mind?” my mother said, bumping into the conversation. “I
think your arm is broken, and I am not risking it to break more, if it is even possible.”
“Mom…” Paola and I said trying to convince her otherwise.
“It is just going to be one dance. One. And I promise that after that one dance I will rest
and take care of my arm.” I said. I wasn’t going to give up just like that, I wanted that
scholarship too much to just give up.
“Okay Dany. But you promised that you will take care of yourself after the dance okay?”
My mother said.
“Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I gratefully thanked her, hugging her.
“Numbers 810 to 825 on the floor for your audition.” We all heard the judges say.
“Good luck, I love you.” My mom said after looking at my number, “And good luck to
you too Paola.” (She was number 822.)
We both went on stage, and I walked directly to the center of the stage. I knew the
judges were looking at me, a red face and a swollen arm were not hard to spot. Looking at the
bright side, that was the only good thing about my circumstance. The music started, and I
started to dance as if no one was watching. Its now or never, I thought, now or never. Once
again, I was doing the dance perfectly, but my arm was still swollen and stinging now as never
before since it was moving like crazy. I thought that maybe I could have a shot at winning the
scholarship, but it was too good to be true. Just as the dance was about to end, another girl
(this time one I didn’t knew), hit me exactly in the same spot as before, making me fall to the
floor. My elbow was purple, I couldn’t take the pain anymore, but I stood up and finished the
dance with the little dignity I had left. I couldn’t believe it, this was officially the worst day of my
life and luck was not on my side. When the dance ended I could feel my arm beating, my
hand was three times the size of a normal one and my elbow, well let’s just say I couldn’t bend
it anymore. Even though you were supposed to stay at the end of the dance, and line up to
give the judges another time to see your numbers, I didn’t care. I just wanted to sit down and
rest beside my mother.
“Dany, oh Dany. Your hand is definitely broken this time.” My mom said, laughing of the
nerves.
“Shut up mom.” I said smiling, I loved when she tried to make me feel better.
“Okay dancers, we are now going to give the results.” The judge said.
“Dany we need to get you to the hospital, but I will let you know the results first if that is
what you want.” My mom asked worried.
“Yes, that is what I want. Thank you.” I thanked her.
“When your number is announced please come up front to receive your scholarship,”
Said the judge, “ Number 815, 834, 799, 822…”
“Paola, 822, that is your number!” I exclaimed happy for her.
Paola stood up and received her scholarship with a smile that reached both her ears. I was
focusing on Paola, thinking how it must feel to accomplish what you wanted, and maybe
daydreaming about when I got mine.
The judge continued announcing, “811, 824, 833, 821, 812…”
“Dany!” my mom said excited to hear my number, but I wasn’t listening.
“Dany!” My sister exclaimed hitting my in the leg to make me react. “821, that is your
number right?”
“Yes, why? Has it been announced?” I asked hoping and praying for the answer to be
yes.
“Yes, Dany, it has.” She said, with a even bigger smile than when she got her scholarship.
I stood up as fast as I could, and speed walked toward the judges. As I received my scholarship
I could see the anguish judges had on their faces. I was proud of what I had done, and I bet
they were also. After seeing how much I did, and what I sacrificed to achieve my goal, they
must’ve been proud.
“Congratulations!” I heard that word from strangers and from my friends while I reached
the wall were my mother sat.
“I knew you could do it!” Paola proudly said, “Even with all the obstacles you had to
overcome!”
“Dany… come here and give me a hug!” My mother said, tears running down her face.
After the hug of what seemed to be of hours, my mother took me to the hospital were the
doctors told me that I had a broken arm and plastered my arm.
I look back, and think of this experience as a moment that marked my life. In this event, I
learned that determination has great outcomes, and that as long as you work for something
you will always accomplish it. I am proud of myself because of it, and I can trust myself to do
anything now. I now know I am a great dancer, but if it wasn’t for this experience… I don’t if I
would believe it.
I am lazy, and I always have been. That is the reason why I thought I was less than my
sister. She worked for everything 120%, which is why she was good at everything. I also learned
from her, doing everything you want to do perfectly is not easy. It will never be.