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Three negative effect on growing children
Bonghyeon Ha
Teddy
12/2/2013
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Child is small, pure and easily changeable and it means child can be easily effect on
other factors. Children need other’s help because they still do not know to live in society.
Their parents teach their children and media also help to announce their idea and children
grow up to experience their culture. These factors are really related to grow up children.
Children have spent most of time to their parents, media, and culture. However, children can
be negative affected by the media, parent’s expectation (behavior), and culture(society).
Those factors make child rebellion, alienation when they grow up.
Parents are the most important factor to grow up children but, ironically, their
behaviors and high expectation affect on negative ways. Especially, parents who think their
children as their possession, press their children to believe their idea, are hurt children.
Parents wish to be grown children by their desire even though they did not achieve that.
For example, Jing-mei Woo’s mother fails her life because her mother gets divorced and loses
everything in China and comes to America with dream. Jing-mei Woo is only wish of her life.
Jing-mei Woo’s mother thought that she can be prodigy if she wants to. Having own belief is
not bad to live but, her mother compels her daughter to be a prodigy girl. Even though her
daughter has not studied particular education for special talent, her mother gave her to take
hard quiz which ordinary people cannot solve. Her mother also cannot solve those quiz
without answers. It makes her daughter inner conflict and gets emotion pressure. In the end,
Jing-mei Woo’s mother disappoints of her and she loses self-confident and loses to interest to
live in. In addition, Jing-mei Woo’s mother is jealous of Lindo Jong who also has child. This
is because Lindo Jong’s child is champion of chess in Chinatown and gets lots of trophy.
Jing-mei Woo’s mother does not want to lose her pride to Lindo Jong and plans to push her
daughter to play in a talent show. However, Jing-mei Woo does not want to play the piano in
a talent show and plans to ruin the show. According to Amy Tan, “ I was determined to put a
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stop to her foolish pride.”(82) Jing-mei Woo knows her mother’s vanity and she does not
want to be following her mother’s thought. She ruins the concert as possible as she can and
she did not listen to her mother’s voice. This decision makes Jing-mei and her mother fight
each other and she become she does not play the piano any more. Mother’s vanity can be
negative affect to her daughter such as alienation, and disobedience.
Even though Parents have much more knowledge than child, parents cannot control
their child. However, Adults judge child in their view and they push child to believe their
ideas and behaviors. Therefore, many children are not sure if they are on the right track. In
addition, children confuse who they are because they do not live their life, just copy others by
order. In addition, children confuse what is justice and morality because parents’ behaviors
are sometimes wrong. For example, her daddy is owner of coal fields. Two miners got killed
by explosion but, daddy denies his fault. The government and union said father’s fault but, he
is fighting with them and win lawsuit because he has power to pay good lawyers. In the
reality, his father denies his fault for him and his family but, in children’s view, children do
not understand it and confuse justice, ethic. According to Robert Coles, “Often enough the
issue is not the moral capacity of children but the default of us parents who fail to respond to
inquiries put to us by our daughters and sons-and fail to set moral standards for both
ourselves and our children.”(46) Before parents teach morality, they need to check their
behavior and morality. If parent do not behave and let their children to do, children confuse
situation and ask them why parent do not act. Most parents are embarrassed and equivocated
to their children and it fail to set morality of their children. Children did not follow their
parents because they know that their parent also do not act like they said.
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Children are pure but, lasting bad education makes children wrong way. For example,
the result of wrong education makes segregation. The society was segregated the AfricanAmerican. Most white child who did not segregate the black people first but, learned from
their parent and society and had grown up to be segregated. Children should learn and
determine moral and belief by themselves but, adults ban to think, command their children to
believe their thought, lay down the law. Even though children have gone wrong, they can turn
to right way when other people support them. However, culture and society also fail child to
grow up wrong. According to Robert Coles, “the teacher kept telling us that we should be
good and obey the law but, my daddy said the law was wrong.”(47)
Father was white
person who experienced segregation and when his father was young, he learnt from society
that black is wrong and black should be segregated by law. When his father was young,
father’s father and society have regulated the black people and taught their children that black
is evil. The result of education and social custom still remind father to segregated the people.
Because of this wrong culture and law of society, father failed to set his moral education and
see the black people as evil. This example is shown that society and culture can be failed
child’s morality and behavior. The society is ban their children to think the right way and
compelled their idea by making law.
Culture can be interrupted to grow child. Amy Tan is American but, her mother is
Chinese and immigrant from china to America. Chinese people tend to be familistic and
authoritarian; Chinese people think child should obey the parents. However, when children
are pressed too much, they could be wandering. Especially, Jing-mei Woo confuses her
identity because she lives in America and learns America culture but, her mother push her to
grow up Chinese girl. “Only two kinds of daughters, she shouted in Chinese. Those who are
obedient and those who follow their own mind! Only one kind of daughter can live in this
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house. Obedient daughter!” (42) Jing-mei Woo and her mother live in America and they
dream the new life. They live in different society and culture and they also learn those.
However, her mother wish to be successful people as American but, her mother sticks her to
be Chinese girl and follow the Chinese culture. It is confused her to accept her position
because she lives in and learns the American culture but, follows Chinese culture. Authority
of Chinese culture is much stronger than western culture and it is based on living large family
and respect eldly people. It is not bad to learn and understand her culture of root but, her
mother compel her to follow Chinese rules only for her authority. Jing mei Woo can be
qualified to choose the culture and she has right to say her opinion. However, mother ignores
her daughter’s opinion and insists only her opinion to daughter. The result of that, Jing-mei
Woo does not work proper and find her prodigy by pressure of her mother. She loses selfpride because her mother just compels her to obey and it bothers her. She also loses interest
of her life which is important factor to grow up.
Media haves huge passive information and many of them included extraordinary
sources or fantasy world. Media gives people not only many benefit information but also
unreal world(fantasy) because extraordinary sources make them have interest in. If they
believe the media without critical thinking, it can be conflict between child and parents.
For example, Jing-mei Woo and her mother watched the TV and compared with her. Jing-mei
was described the Chinese Shirley temper and she followed the dance as TV characters.
In addition, her mother is interesting in magazine, amazing children because her mother also
has position of raising the child. Her mother hopes her daughter also can be prodigy girl as
they do. Most of shows cannot follow the children and if the parents compel to their children,
children can change her inner character of their parents. In other words, Jing-mei’s mother
drops self-pride of her daughter and authority by herself. According to Amy tan, “And after
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seeing, once again, my mother’s disappointed face, something inside me began to die.”(41)
Even thought Jing-mei is young and do not know much as her mother’s expectation, she
understands her mother’s face and her limit. In mother’s view, her daughter is not satisfied
with her expectation but, her daughter is much disappointed with herself and her mother.
Jing-mei is sad not only to herself of incapability but also for her mother who did not
understand her daughter’s position and feeling. Media is shown people’s desire(jing-mei’s
mother want her daughter to be the prodigy girl) but, if the parents apply to their child, it can
be wrong decision. If Jing-mei’s mother believes that her child can be the prodigy, her mother
should help to understand her, not press to take the exam.
Child is incomplete exist but, parent’s vanity and extraordinary source of media push
child to be complete exist. The media is shown extraordinary child and parent let their child
to be like that. This is reason to conflict between child and parent: parent push child to
control by adults such as only parent’s thought is right, children should obey their parents;
child ignored their parents and wandering themselves and alienation from society and other
people. In addition, extraordinary source of media makes child low self-pride and depress
because child feel they are short of ordinary. Not only child is interrupted by parent and
media but also society is also interrupted child to grow up because society is made by adult
who lived in now and before, not child. Criminal can be forgiven some culture and society by
money and power. Child is confusing to learn this society and moral and hard to make their
justice.