A Woman’s Dress
Interview of Mary Awad
By Kadi Correia
“Some women when they come here start wearing different clothes, showing their hair, kissing
the boys!” I couldn’t hold in my laugh at her last comment, “kissing the boys!” Life has changed for Mary
Awad, an 18 year old woman from Kenya. Moving to Salt Lake City, Utah in 2005 Mary has witnessed an
altering shift in Muslim women’s beliefs and dress standards. Her friendly approach was inviting as I
confronted her about my interest in her identity. I was delighted to investigate why she wore a scarf
over her head, and I became curious of other practices she may also perform. Her traditions branch
from Islam beliefs, and the teachings of the prophet Muhammad; to always worship the only God, Allah,
recite holy words of prayer, fast, donate, and live in a virtuous manner. As I spoke to her one on one in a
casual setting, I quickly learned the expectations of dress and appearance in her culture, the importance
of modest behavior, and how these practices exist and evolve in America today.
The typical dress for a Muslim woman is very modest. She will be covered completely. A scarf on
her head known as a hijab, meaning to conceal or hide from view, will cover her hair, neck, and chest.
Sometimes the scarf is long, blanketing her shoulders and camouflaging her figure. When a woman
wears a veil, it only shows her eyes, masking the rest of her face. Her jewelry is not flashy, nor seen
under her hijab. Her garments will not be transparent or resemble a man’s form of dress, and will not be
worldly or enticing. She will not wear perfume or much make-up, but be simple and dressed with
dignity.
The woman’s dress may change in colors, patterns, and designs, but the standard does not
change for any occasion. They continue to dress virtuously and simply in many settings, for example, the
modest wedding gown of a Muslim bride. The dress is arranged with a high neckline, and coordinating
details. The gown is usually light in color, or white, according to the customs and taste of the region.
There is sometimes, lace, silk, or embroidery to give the garment an elaborate look. Still, with the extra
elements, the women maintain their traditional attire.
Mary was very specific in what is considered acceptable apparel, “No pants! No shorts! No
short-sleeve shirts! No hair! No tight! No sexy sexy!” Although the covering of a woman is expected,
Mary, like most women, only does so when in public, or in the presence of men who are not immediate
family, or their spouse. I was shocked at the dedication Mary displays of her religion through her dress
each day. Her devotion to her moral standards is a reflection of her abiding worship.
The clothing worn by the women is significant to their identity and communion. We discussed
the balance that comes as the principles and integrity of their gospel are properly obeyed and
performed. They equip themselves with not only modest dress but with loyalty to their deity. Their
attire is important because it shows honor, and purity. It is a shield of protection from assaults,
molestation, and lustful desires of evil men. The standard of dress guard’s women from battling to look
younger and prettier, and it conceals their beauty for the allegiance of their husband. The well behaved
are given the highest respect from their family, husband, and the public. “A woman is not forced to
cover herself,” described Mary, “I do it because I feel good about myself and I am confident. I wear this
because I want to be good to my future husband, and because it keeps me away from trouble. It does
not stop me from enjoying other things that I like to do!”
Her statement strikingly changed my assumptions of her attire. Before the interview, I had
looked upon her with pity because I viewed the clothes as a discomfort, a burden and trial to withstand
the boundless heat under a flood of fabric. I had suspected that the attire was unwillingly accepted by
women of their faith, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I now looked upward to her eagerness and
conviction to her beliefs. She amazed me with her luminous demeanor as she proclaimed her joy and
love for her fashioned lifestyle. Instantly I began to feel that we were not very different from one
another. She too, had many dreams, hopes and visions as I.
We continued to connect as we discussed and joked about common activities that she, and her
“outfits” were involved in. Bouncing between numerous interests and pursuits of hers, we came upon
one that I was really stirring to hear about. Dancing!
Her dress standards determined much of what her movement was to look like. She described
how there isn’t much that she really does, except for “have fun!” She illustrated to me that Muslim
women will usually gather together to dance and sing, swaying their hips in circular motions. “Like this!”
she laughingly exclaimed, as she rotated her rounded hips from side to side. I laughed along with her as
we both enjoyed each others company. She showed me that their dancing is not wild or out of control,
rather, it is intended to be exciting, attractive, and beautiful. It would be impossible for her to move her
body wildly while dressed in appropriate apparel.
Respectfully, a woman’s body will be completely covered between the navel and the knees,
referred to as the ‘awrah. They will also refrain from foul or vulgar music. Men have similar regulations
to dancing as the women, covering parts of the body to avoid haram, or unlawful behavior. Although
Muslim men and women are permitted to dance, Mary admits that the majority of the time the sexes
are separate. She rarely see’s both men and women dancing together, and has never witnessed a
Muslim couple dance, like she has in our western culture.
I once again was reminded of our differences concerning identity and beliefs. Unlike Mary, I
have experienced dance in the United States to be less monitored and more self-governing. I often
overlooked dance forms around me, and disregarded the effects that one’s values have on small choices
made each day. Mary’s high standards of modesty are a spine of support that influences all her activities
in life. It impacts the way she speaks to people, fulfills school assignments and housework, family time,
hobbies and personal interest, and most importantly her experience here in the America.
America has not changed her beliefs, but has given her a greater opportunity to fasten to them.
Yes, she stands out from the crowd in her hijab and covering clothing in the middle of summer, but she
does so wholeheartedly. For other Muslim women, following these same standards seems to be
impossible, but not for Mary.
Mary has a positive outlook on her experiences here, no matter how many aberrant looks and
stares she gets from the public. Mary joked, “People look at me like, who’s that girl?” She went on
recounting many women that she knows who come into the American society, leaving some of their
beliefs at home in order to fit “our norm.”
Mary is part of a minority that is misapprehended. Mary states, “There are girls who come to
church covered completely, but when they go to school or other places, they wear the pants and the Tshirt because they fear people will make fun of them, or they will not get a job.” The culture and religion
will sometimes be limited to exist only within the home or other Muslim gatherings. Mary describes
home as a sanctuary to be yourself. Many Muslim women play two different roles in order to survive
two different worlds, home and society. Some, like Mary, even speak another language in the home,
communicating and even translating for their parents and family members.
The language barriers, dress and beliefs sometimes intervene with her progression, but she does
not let negativity stop her. Mary is successfully attending school full-time and helping in the care of her
family. She does not let the differences of the society change her standards. “Some women may slowly
forget where they came from, and what they were taught,” She sighed, “That is why I see some running
around acting different, and doing things we never grew up doing…” she sighed once again for a long
while. “Like kissing boys!” I joked with her! She looked over to me and smiled, “Yes! Like kissing boys!”
Mary has taught me that all of us want to fit in and be confident in our surroundings. Many of us
struggle to hide our insecurities, differences, or beliefs to avoid being an easy target to harassment from
others. We often forget that others are just like us, yearning to feel acceptance and approval. I learned
how Mary overcame her differences in dress standards, modest behavior, and her culture’s survival in
America, with an understanding that judgments will be made and conclusions will arrange, but her
dedication to her beliefs will always be the same. Her strength fortified my own values significant to me
and my heritage. My perceptions of her culture were refined as I realized that she took pride in her
beliefs and her culture.