REEL PAPER
CHERI WEGWITZ
COMM 1050
PROF HUNTINGTON
AUGUST 1, 2014
For this paper, we were asked to view our favorite movie and select a theory to write
about that's portrayed in that movie. One of my favorite movies of all-time is How to Lose a Guy
in 10 Days. This movie was full of theories from our textbook. Theories such as Self-Fulfilling
Prophecy, Cognitive Dissonance Theory, Social Exchange Theory, Social Penetration Theory,
and Expectancy Violations Theory. Though I'm going to discuss a few items from some of the
other theories, it's the latter theory that I'm choosing to focus most of my paper on. This is
because this theory is probably the one that most people are afraid of violating in life and yet this
movie portrays it so successfully.
According to our textbook, the Expectancy Violations Theory focuses mainly on nonverbal behaviors but does extend to verbal messages. This theory states when expected norms are
broken, it will be perceived either favorably or unfavorably, depending on whether that person is
liked. (West & Turner, 2010) However, many communication theories all seem to overlap which
is why others will be addressed.
The Expectation Violations Theory is one that we encounter each and every day. All of
us have met people who don't seem to obey unwritten rules of behavior. When they do, it makes
us all uncomfortable and we have to decide how to respond to their behavior. It is how we
perceive their behavior which determines whether they will or will not be let into our social
circle. This theory is prevalent throughout the film. We start with "Andi Anderson" who works
for a magazine and is their "How To" girl. She's the one that decides the norms and standards for
her readers. Andi then shares what she's learned to be acceptable behaviors by writing about
them for society to see. Andi tries to help a friend not have to write about her latest unsuccessful
venture in love, by agreeing to commit the most common faux pas committed in relationships,
AKA commit expectancy violations. Her victim, AKA an unsuspecting guy will then have to
decide via the Social Exchange Theory, the relationship was not worth his time as the negative
outweighs the positive. In other words, she is trying to prove a point that she can "Lose" a guy
within 10 days by committing these common expectancy violations.
"Benjamin Barry" is in advertising and knows what to say and how to convince others to
do things. He lets people know what they need in their daily lives in order to function, as he is
successful in Media Ecology. Benjamin wants a big advertising job that is geared towards
women and so takes a bet that establishes a self-fulfilling prophecy of being able to make any
girl fall in love with him at the end of 10 days.
Both meet at a party and their relationship appears to follow Social Penetration Theories
rules of heading into a relationship. This is shown by rules of the nonverbal Expectancy
Violations Theory which has both of them standing an intimate distance from each other and
even touching on the hip, which, if they didn't like each other, would violate the proximity rules
of being in personal space. Social Penetration Theory seems to be proven correct as after getting
to know each other, they decide to go out to dinner to further their communications and even end
up at Benjamin's house after dinner. It is apparent at dinner that Andi is feeling a little cognitive
dissonance as she asks the question of Benjamin, "True or False, All's fair in love and war."
Benjamin answers true and so Andi is able to justify her future actions in how she is going to
treat Benjamin.
The next 10 days are full of expectancy violations performed by Andi towards Benjamin.
In the movie, we see many displays of verbal and nonverbal expectancy violations in the form of
talking during a movie (which is something frowned upon and even has previews which establish
this rule) blowing Benjamins' nose for him in front of his friends, taking snacks from someone's
hands and replacing them with girly snacks, coughing over cigar smoke right next to the one
smoking the cigar making him snuff out the cigar, talking baby talk, crashing a boys' night,
making Benjamin get her a drink during the last minute of an exciting game, creating a family
album for their future family when they've known each other just a few days, calling his mother
and saying she loved her when they haven't met, putting girly things like Vagisil and tampons all
over his apartment, freaking out over a love fern, and naming his private parts Princess Sofia.
All of these, and many more, were portrayed in the movie and are considered social expectancy
violations in the relationship world. All of these made Benjamin have to decide if the good parts
of the relationship were worth the bad and even broke him once, after the boys night, where he
broke up with Andi. It was Benjamin's self-fulfilling prophecy of stating he could make Andi fall
in love with him which made him give the relationship another chance after all of the committed
social violations. It is because of the good sides of Andi, including their first impressions which
make Benjamin able to bear her Social Violations as he knows "the amazing Andi... the cool,
sexy, fun, smart Andi" is inside and it helps him endure "the evil Andi."
Expectancy Violations Theory is one that society cares a great deal amount. It's what
helps us let down our barriers to others or keep the barriers up, all because of how we perceive
somebody. This is the theory that ultimately decides if someone will become a couple or not, as
they have to decide whether something is endearing or not. It all comes down to whether or not
we like the person.
This theory was established in 1978 by Judee Burgoon. At one point, it was named
Nonverbal Expectancy Violations Theory, but as the theory evolved into issues beyond
nonverbal topics, the word nonverbal was eventually deleted. Even without the word nonverbal,
it is this theory which is still a leading identifier of non-verbal communications and its' effect on
behavior. This theory deals primarily on proxemics, space relations and who is typically allowed
in them. I could not find how Burgoon developed the theory, but I do know she is female and is a
professor at The University of Arizona. As most of her studies involved either females, students,
or students and their professors, it makes one wonder as to Burgoon analyzing her personal
thoughts and feelings were what led to this theory.
Donald Petrie was the director of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I think the message he
tried to pass on to the viewers was to not worry about being yourself. This is apparent, not only
in the main conflict but also in the underlying. As mentioned earlier, Andi decided upon this
article in order to save her friend from having to write about her failed love exploit. Later in the
movie, the failed love exploit was brought back into the picture by Andi's friend Michelle
answering the door expecting to see the Chinese food deliveryman. Instead, it was her exboyfriend Mike. Mike says, "You know that perfume you sprayed on my pillow? Well that smell
is gone now and Michelle, I want it back." In the movie, Michelle has failed relationships
because she continuously commits relationship expectation violations. Yet, Mike ends up
missing her and wanting her back. It shows you can be yourself and if you're with the right
person, they will see your good outweighs your bad violations and will like you for who you are
by putting a positive spin on your violations.
Donald Petrie had to know about Communications as well as aspects of Psychology. This
is shown as he has many different examples of different communication theories throughout the
movie as well as references to Freudian slips (Benjamin telling Andi it was apparent she wanted
to take him to the Knicks game since she left the tickets at his house and a reference of latent
anger by the "shrink".
This movie showed me that many people each and every day commit expectancy violations
which is why movies like this can be made that are humorous as they make fun of us and our
insecurites as well as our mistakes in communicating. This movie shows we don't have to be
perfect. People are going to like us or not like us. We want to surround ourselves with those that
like us as they're the ones who are going to accept us for who we are, without trying to be
someone we're not. This movie changed my perspective about communications, being if I
accidentally do embarrassing things, it's not the end of the world. Life will go on. It's more
important to surround ourselves with those that love us. This way when we violate social
expectations, like baby-talk, we will be seen for who we are, and not rejected for the mistake we
committed.
Benjamin: "Look who made the trip with me." Andi: "It's our love fern! (In a baby voice) Oh
Benny Boo Boo, Boo!" (Laughter)
Works Cited
West, R., & Turner, L. H. (2010). Introducing Communication Theory Analysis and Application 4th
Edition. In R. West, & L. H. Turner, Introducing Communication Theory Analysis and Application
4th Edition (pp. 129-137). New York: McGraw-Hill.
All movie references were taken from the movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
All communication theories were taken from the book Introducing Communication
Theory: Analysis and Application 4th Edition