Barrientos1 Marisol Barrientos Mark Levengood His 131 23, June, 2011 Native American Strategies of Resistance or Survival On that August day in 1608 when Amoroleck feared the loss of his world, John Smith assured him that the English “came to them in peace, and to seeke their loves”. Events soon proved Amoroleck right and his captor wrong [include info. in first sentence that gives a little more depth of info. on relationship between Amoroleck and John Smith so reader knows what you are referring to. What if the reader doesn’t know anything about them? But just VERY basic context]. (Condense citation down to Merrill, pg. 564) In order for the Native Americans to survive in the New World, they would have to adjust to a different world and [now – replace “now” with “often”?] hostile situations [using different strategies?] [New sentence – Native Americans survived?… by migrating, creating new societies, engaging in the trade network and fighting against each other, until they saw no other means of survival than to compromise with the Europeans’ who they considered as invaders. [Very good thesis overall. Just split into two separate sentences or pare down specific alternatives and just get into them in the body.] [First sentence is confusing. Start out with subject – Native Americans and be more clear about new situation and its impact on everyday life. Such as… While European exploration is often understood as discovering a New World, the experience was also new and unsettling for Barrientos2 Native Americans who were often uprooted from their home villages and hunting territories. Living in one place…] Being forced to leave what you consider home and sacred grounds to new lands can be devastating for a person but for a whole village it can be catastrophic, but not all was bad, in the exploring of the unknown territories there was some good. Living in one place year after year endowed a people with intimate knowledge of the area. The richest soils, the best hunting grounds, the choicest sites for gathering nuts or berries-none could be learned without years of experience, tested by time and passed down from generation to the next (Which author or document? - 545). [Sum up main point again at end of paragraph, even if in simplified terms] [Very good first sentence and segue from previous paragraph. My only worry is whether these are all your own words. Make sure you either quote directly from text or paraphrase Merrill’s ideas in your own words. Either way, still needs to be cited.] In order to survive, groups were compelled to construct new societies from the splintered remnants of the old. The result was a kaleidoscopic array of migrations from ancient territories and mergers with nearby people (544). In communities and villages the diversity of languages, beliefs and cultural differences made it difficult to interact, thus contributing the need to forge a common culture and a common future (547). Indians were forced to blend old and new in ways that would permit them to survive in the present without forsaking their past (539). However, natives tended to cling to ethnic boundaries in order to ease the transition (547). [Can you add in any specific times, places, tribes that did what you speak of?] The Native Americans sought to have items that were new to them; they wanted more efficient tools, more lethal weapons, and more durable clothing that colonists offered (549). [This sentence would make good first sentence. Again, your own words? -- Intercultural exchange eroded [cut – this] traditional independence and entangled natives in a web of Barrientos3 commercial relations few of them understood and none controlled (551)]. Natives relied on many items that Europeans could provide with ease but liquor was the most addictive and the most destructive. [Confusing sentence: But what would catch the most attention would be that they would not be held accountable for the actions they did while intoxicated (550). Next came traders who exchanged European technology for Indian products and brought natives into the developing world market (539). Villages relied on outsiders for goods essential to daily life (551).The exchange of these goods and services for European merchandise marked an important adjustment to the settlers’ arrival. Natives provided raw materials, slaves, and deerskins to colonists, leading them to compete against each other, resorting to threats, and even force to retain their advantage (552). [Not sure how this quote fits with general topic of the paragraph. I would cut it: “It is certain the Indians are very cruel to one another,” Rev. Francis Le Jau wrote his superiors in England in April 1708 (551) [Good paragraph overall. Somewhat repetitive in focus on goods. Take time to condense and keep focus on the positives and negatives of trade in goods] [Confusing first sentence of this paragraph. Distill down to most basic point in clearest language. Try to create a flow from last paragraph into this one. Last paragraph was about complicated effects of trade between Native Ams and Europeans. What is this one about? If it is still about effects of trade, you have to make it clear to reader how this paragraph will add important new info. on that topic that is different than previous paragraph.] Colonists saw that the depths of the natives’ dependency for their goods, this gave the natives less power over them (553). Colonial officials in Charleston were convinced that they “are absolute Masters over the Indians… within the circle of their Trade.” (553). This lead them to feel superior to the natives, thus less compelled to obey native rules governing proper behavior. Abuses against Indians Barrientos4 mounted until some men were literally getting away with murder (553). The abuses promoted the natives to retaliate against the colonists, resulting in a disastrous outcome for the natives-the supply of European goods was cutoff, making the natives desperate for fresh supplies (553). Trade resumed but the native dependence shifted from colonial traders to colonial authorities. [Make sure to sum up main point at end of paragraph.] The Indians [stay in past tense “had to find some way”] would have to find some way to get along with unpleasant neighbors if the Nation was to survive (558). As the native population decreased and the number of colonists continued to climb, natives gradually came to recognize the futility of violent resistance (558). Using their influence with colonial officials to acquire a reservation encompassing the heart of their ancient territories was one of the first steps along the road to accommodation (558). [make sure you specify which Native Americans you are talking about. The Catawba? Not all or even most Native Americans in the east ever got reservations, so you have to make it clear who you are talking about.] [Overall, some good points, particularly on Native Americans using various strategies including resistance, trade, and reservations. If possible, I would condense two paragraphs on trade into one paragraph. Expand on the ways diff. groups came together into new villages and ethnic groups. Biggest issue is that you didn’t use the assigned video. You focused on the Merrill article and Catawba, which is ok, but I would insert a paragraph on the strategies Native Americans used during the 7 Years and Revolutionary wars. Can you sum the strategies up and compare to Catawba, since they are the main focus of your paper? You could focus on the similarities and differences between Catawba and N.A. in the wars.] Barrientos5 Works Cited Merrell. James. H.“The Indians’ New World: The Catawba Experience”. pg. 539 [You don’t need to retype the page #s here ---544 ---545 ---547. ---549 ---550 ---551