Brett Lund
Bethany Haug
Report: Final Draft
Intermediate Writing
10/15/2012
Kinship Adoption: The Struggles and Benefits
Today there are an increasing number of adoptions in which a family member, distant or
closely related, is put in the position to decide whether or not they should adopt a related child
(Laning) (Brenoff). The process of adopting a relative's child, or kinship adoption, may occur if
the child‘s parents become deceased or are deemed unfit by the state to raise their kids. The age
of the child, age of the adoptive parents, and the amount of involvement the biological parents
have in the child’s life, are all contributing factors to the level of success achieved through this
type of adoption. Though kinship adoption can have great results, the findings of my research
indicate that it is not always the best option for a child. It is difficult for a child to adjust to living
with adopted parents if they were old enough to already have established a bond with their
biological parents (Howe, Shemmings and Feast) (Rees and Selwyn). There are detrimental
effects that come with adopting a child when the adoptive parents are older (Lund) (Laning). The
family dynamic is often adversely affected when the biological parents are allowed to come in
and out of their child’s life (Gwilliam, Nathan; Gwilliam, Dale) (Brannagan). If kinship adoption
is chosen as the method of placement for an at risk child, the adoptive parents should prepare
themselves for these obstacles before moving forward.
In a study done in the United Kingdom (Howe, Shemmings and Feast), 472 adults who
grew up with adoptive parents were interviewed and asked to evaluate their adoption experience.
Age at placement was the main focus of the study. Respondents were asked if they felt loved by
their adoptive family, felt like they belonged in their adoptive family, and if their overall
evaluation of their experience was positive or negative. The risk of viewing major aspects of
their adoption experience negatively increased significantly as the age at placement increased.
The study also indicated that children placed at an older age also suffered an increased risk of
poor mental health, behavioral problems, and relationship difficulties. The contrast noted
between children 12 months and younger, and children 24 months and older, was notable (Howe,
Shemmings and Feast).
Of those children placed before 12 months, 54% said they strongly agreed that they felt
they belonged in their adoptive family. This number dropped all the way down to 19% among
those who were placed after 24 months. Of those placed before 12 months, 52% said they did not
feel different to their adoptive family. Only 33% answered the same way among those placed
after 24 months. Among those placed before 12 months, 68% strongly agreed that they felt loved
by their adoptive mother. This number decreased to 30% among those placed after 24 months.
When asked if they felt loved by their adoptive father, the percentages dropped from 69% among
the younger group to 29% among the older group. The first year was described by most parents
as “challenging, though rewarding.” They reported experiencing depression, anxiety, and even
marital problems. It was not uncommon for the adoptees to suffer from learning difficulties,
conduct problems, and health problems (Howe, Shemmings and Feast). This change in a child’s
perception of his/her place in the family can complicate the adoption process. This is a trend that
adoptive parents should not ignore and be prepared to address.
Another study performed in the United Kingdom (Rees and Selwyn), explored the
outcome of adoption with children slightly older (between 3-11 years) when placed with an
adoptive family. 130 children, all in local authority care for protective reasons, were considered.
Information was gathered to evaluate the effectiveness of adoption as a method to remedy
abusive or neglectful situations, as opposed to institutional care. The authors presented evidence
that adopting children in this age group proves difficult for the adopters. Contact arrangements
with birth parents added to the complexity of the task. A group of adopters were asked to
consider the rewards they perceived within their experiences of adopting older children who
were removed from their homes for safety reasons. Of the respondents, 62% described
“sometimes considerable difficulties, tempered by the rewards of progress.” Still 10% couldn’t
identify any rewards from the process at all. Some parents admitted they had thought the
warnings of expected difficulty were being exaggerated and that their desire to parent had caused
them to be less objective (Rees and Selwyn). If a challenging scenario is anticipated, parents will
be better prepared to deal with problems if they should occur.
The age of the adoptive parents at the time of adoption should also be considered in
correlation with the age of the child. During an interview with Verna Lund (Lund), she stated
that her main point of concern was her age and the age of her husband when they participated in
kinship adoption. They adopted three girls who were sisters that had become a ward of the state.
One of them was four years old at the time of placement. Verna questioned her own capability of
giving her daughters the attention needed from a parent. It takes a lot of energy to discipline
teenagers, help them with school work, and stay involved in their active lives. Verna lost her
husband to heart failure a few years ago and the task of raising three teenage girls in her senior
years became a much tougher task. It affected the girls as well. They became fearful that they
would also soon lose their mother. Their grades in school declined and they started getting into
more and more trouble. They were angry, scared, and confused. Any child would be when
dealing with the loss of a parent, but Verna expressed guilt for putting the girls in a position
where this kind of loss was more likely than it would be with younger parents (Lund).
In his book Latecomers (Laning), author Andrew Yarrow reports the results of research
concerning adults who were born into families with older parents. As children, the subjects of the
study said there were upsides along with downsides. Older parents were able to provide a more
stable atmosphere. They did, however, recall feeling embarrassed about their parent’s lack of
stamina and gray hair. They had to explain that their parents were older and that they actually
weren’t their grandparents. Many of the subjects reported being haunted by a constant concern
for their parents’ health, and feared they might lose them. As adults, they had to become
caretakers of aging parents when most of their peers still had parents that were quite active. They
felt this was unfair as they were still caring for their own young children. They felt it was also
unfair to their own children because they would be cheated out of having a long term relationship
with their grandparents (Laning).
In an article published by The Huffington Post called, “Too Old to Adopt”? Not the Case
for These Parents (Brenoff), the author reports five cases of adoption involving older adoptive
parents. When interviewed, these adoptive parents reported some obstacles and recalled dealing
with a lot of “crazy and endless questions” (Brenoff). Even so, they were undeterred and thrilled
with the outcome of their decision to adopt. Their children brought joy to their lives and they felt
they were able to offer the love and nurturing that every child needs (Brenoff). Since these kind
of adoptions are quite common and recognized as helpful in many cases, people are becoming
educated as to their options and learning the best way to plan. The annual New England
Adoption Conference is the largest U.S. adoption conference with roughly 1600 attending
(Laning). To help with the preparation process they offer a special workshop for those who are
over 40 and hoping to adopt. This workshop has drawn over 150 attendees each year.
Adoption of a child that is not an infant is already a complex task when biological parents
aren’t related to the adoptive parents (Gwilliam, Nathan; Gwilliam, Dale). Emotional ties have to
be severed, then, re-established with new parents. In cases of neglect and drug abuse, this can
become more confusing if the biological parents are still somewhat present in their children’s
lives (Brannagan). It is difficult to withhold a family member’s privilege to see their biological
children. The family dynamic will be affected in any kinship adoption. As many people are not
willing to allow their niece/nephew, grandchild, or close friend’s child, to be adopted by
strangers, potential adoptive parents should consider this information when deciding how to
move forward. Potential problems can be planned for and possibly averted before they become
relevant.
In some cases, such as the death of a child’s parents, it may be easier for the child to
adjust if they’re adopted by a family member, or friend of the family that they’re familiar with.
The bonds within the family can be maintained and even strengthened when the relationship
becomes legal. This way the child can grieve the loss of his/her parent(s), without also having to
adapt to completely new surroundings. Preference is given to relatives in most states when
deciding who should take custody of a child that has become a ward of the state. This is the case
in Utah as long as the relative is found to be fit, as per Code; 78A-6-307 (Gateway).
Though adoption as a therapeutic option for traumatized children is proven to be
challenging, especially for older parents, it is better than the alternative of leaving children in
institutional care for extended periods of time (Rees and Selwyn). Since leaving children in an
abusive home where they are at risk of enduring damaging experiences is simply not an option,
someone needs to be up to the task of taking them in and raising them. When approaching a
decision to either participate in kinship adoption, or allow a family member’s child to be adopted
by strangers, potential parents must consider the difficulties and evaluate their own resolve.
Many times, allowing a child to be placed outside of the family with young, energetic, loving
parents will turn out more beneficial for the child in the long run. It is easier for adopters who are
not related to the biological parents to enforce separation of the child from the biological parents,
which reduces confusion. Often relatives of children who are a ward of the state are
understandably unwilling to allow them to be taken outside of the family. Kinship adoption can
still be a good, viable option. Adopters do need to be adequately prepared for the various
situations they will have to deal with, be ready to make tough decisions, and plan accordingly.
Works Cited
Brannagan, Meg. "What is Required to Adopt a Child Within the Family." Livestrong.com. 18 July 2010.
Web. 20 September 2012.
Brenoff, Ann. "Too Old to Adopt? Not the Case for These Parents." Huffingtonpost.com. 3 July 2012.
Web. 20 September 2012.
Gateway, Child Welfare Information. ""Placement of Children With Relatives."." July 2010.
www.childwelfare.gov. Web. 20 November 2012.
Gwilliam, Nathan; Gwilliam, Dale. "How do I Adopt a Family Member." Adoption.com. n.d. Web. 20
September 2012.
Howe, David, David Shemmings and Julia Feast. Age at Placement and Adult Adopted People's
Experience of Being Adopted. Research Project. London, UK: Blackwell Science Ltd, 2001. Print.
20 September 2012.
Laning, Betty. "When are you 'Too Old' to Adopt" Rainbowkids.com. 1 June 2006. Web. 20 September
2012.
Lund, Verna. Adoptive Parent Brett Lund. September 2012.
Rees, C.A and J. Selwyn. Non-Infant Adoption from Care: Lessons for Saveguarding Children. Journal.
Bristol, UK: Blackwell Publishing Ltd, 2009. Print. 20 September 2012.