LITERACY FOCUS LESSON PLAN FORMAT FOR WRITING AND COMPREHENSION LESSONS
Student Name: Laura Capps
Lesson Type: CLIP Step 3: Literacy Lesson #2
LESSON DETAILS
Title of Lesson: Check It Off! Word Choice Revision
Approximate Time: 60 minutes
Grade Level: 4th/5th
Purpose of the Lesson: To teach the students how to revise their writings for the trait of word choice, specifically sensory
details and strong emotional words.
LEARNING GOALS AND STANDARDS ADDRESSED
Learning Goals/Objectives
The students will demonstrate their understanding of the use of the word choice trait in writing stories by creating a
short personal narrative about a specific event using sensory details such as sights, smells, sounds, tastes, and
touches to describe what was happening around them and strong emotional words, such as “furious” “elated”
“joyous” “devastated” or “envious” to describe their emotional state during the experience.
Common Core State Standards Addressed
The Common Core State Standards for this lesson are relevant to the Grades 4 & 5 Writing Standards as follows:
CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.5.3
Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, descriptive details,
and clear event sequences.
CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.5.3.d
Use concrete words and phrases and sensory details to convey experiences and events precisely.
CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.5.3.b
Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, description, and pacing, to develop experiences and events or show the
responses of characters to situations.
CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.5.10
Write routinely over extended time frames (time for research, reflection, and revision) and shorter time frames (a
single sitting or a day or two) for a range of discipline-specific tasks, purposes, and audiences.
CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.5.5
With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing,
rewriting, or trying a new approach.
BRIEF RATIONALE FOR THE LESSON GOALS AND INSTRUCTIONAL METHODS
This is the third lesson for a series of lessons designed to teach students how to use aspects of the word choice
trait in creating personal narrative snapshots. The word choice trait was chosen as the focus of the four lessons
because the six-trait analysis (Spandel, 2008) of the writing sample collected from the students revealed a need for
improvement in this area. Our students actually nearly tied in the areas of sentence fluency and word choice for the
lowest scores, so in order to choose one, we took advice from our mentor teacher. He suggested that word choice
would be a good one because it was something they would revisit in future grades.
According to Spandel (2008), word choice helps writers to convey their message in a way that “moves and
enlightens the reader.” In order to do this, students need to be able to use strong words that clearly indicate the
intent of the author. The fourth and fifth graders in this classroom have been focusing on writing personal
narratives; we found it best to incorporate the word choice trait into their on-going study. For this reason, we chose
to focus on the aspects of sensory details in the first lesson and of strong emotional words in this lesson. Both of
these aspects contribute to the crafting of the telling of an event from their lives.
In this third lesson, the students will learn how to revise a current piece of writing in order to improve their
word choice, specifically for sensory details and strong emotions. Following a writing workshop minilesson format,
I will use what Cambourne (1995) describes as the demonstration method of instruction during the teaching
component (Alley & Orehovec, 2007). I will be using a sample of my own writing to model the process of revising
for word choice, using a checklist for sensory details and strong emotional words. Modeled writing is an
instructional strategy researched and promoted by Sloan (2009) in her book Into Writing. This strategy allows me to
model my thinking process as I revise a piece of my own work to improve my trait of word choice; this then can
serve as a template for the students as they go about revising a piece of their own writing.
In the active engagement component, I will use a scaffolded guided practice that will allow students to try
revising a piece of writing as a class. According to Cambourne (1995), it is important that students be able to
practice using a skill without fear of making mistakes. To do this, I will provide an opportunity for students to
work as a class to suggest potential revisions to a piece of my own writing. I will have demonstrated how to do this
in two different places in the narrative, one for sensory details and one for strong emotions. Then students will take
over, providing suggestions. This will allow students to employ these words in an applicable, realistic situation;
students will then have the opportunity to apply the revision process to their own piece of writing (Cambourne,
1995).
This lesson will be taught in a co-teaching style with my TIP partner because of time constraints in the
classroom. We will be teaching the revision demonstration together as co-teachers and then splitting the class in
half to have conferences. According to Alley and Orehovec (2007), conferencing is a major part of the writer’s
workshop model and gives us a chance to informally assess students’ grasp of the concept. We are able to provide
more individualized help and scaffolding during the conferences.
STRUCTURE AND COMPONENTS OF THE LESSON PLAN
Connection Component
Students will be seated at their desks and after an introduction by my mentor teacher, my teaching partner and I
will introduce the topic of the lesson: revision of their snapshot narratives. Because this is the third lesson of the
series, we will ask students what two strategies we have taught them over the last week. After students give their
response about how Ms. Larkins taught them about to improve word choice using sensory words and I taught
them about using strong emotional words, we will lead into our lesson topic of revising their personal snapshot
narratives. The dialogue may sound something as follows: “Ms. Larkins: I taught you one way you can improve your
word choice by using your five senses to generate descriptions. Me: I then challenged you to use strong emotional words to
describe how you were feeling. In order to become even better writers, we are going to need to get some practice using these
strategies. Ms. Larkins: So today we are going to help you revise the snapshot narratives you wrote with a tool called a
revision checklist.”
Teaching Component
In the instructional phase of this lesson, we will first show the students the checklist we have created. I will explain
the portion for the strong emotional words and Ms. Larkins will explain the sensory details portion. We will read
through the questions listed under each heading and clarify what each one means when applied to a piece of
writing. Then we will demonstrate how the checklist can be used to revise a piece of writing. We will be using a
piece of my own writing, a short paragraph snapshot about a car wreck, to model an example thought process
when revising. We will revise one place for sensory details and one for strong emotional words as examples for the
students. Then we will turn to the class for revision suggestions as we transition into the active engagement
component. We will begin by showing students the on the SmartBoard at the front of the classroom, saying “Here is
the checklist that we created to guide you as you are revising your own writing for word choice. There are two sections, one for
strong emotional words and one for sensory details. As you are reading through your snapshots, these are some questions you
can ask yourself. For example, you can ask yourself “Have I used emotions to describe the event?” and “If I have, have I used
strong emotional words?” This could mean if you were describing a birthday party gone wrong, you would need to see if you
included how you felt about the party and not just “bad” or “sad” but words like “devastated” or “tearful.” Ms. Larkins will
then do the same for sensory details.
Now we will be demonstrating how to apply this checklist to an actual piece of writing, the example snapshot
that I wrote about a car crash. We will display the snapshot on the SmartBoard and then give students a copy of the
revision checklist so they can see what questions we will be answering about this piece of writing. I will be sitting at
the computer ready to edit the snapshot as revisions are made. I will first read the short paragraph aloud to
students. Then I will demonstrate how I can use the checklist to realize that I have not included any emotion. I will
then demonstrate how I could add in some strong emotion. Ms. Larkins will then demonstrate the same thing but
with sensory details. The dialogue could be as follows: “Up on the SmartBoard is a sample piece of writing that I did
about a car crash. This piece of writing is a bit rough and needs some revisions. So I am going to use the checklist we passed out
to you to work through my revisions. After reading through this snapshot, I asked myself if I had any emotions and I realized I
did not. So I searched the text and found a place where I could add some emotions, specifically some strong emotions. When I
talk about driving along with all going well, I could describe my state of mind with the word “peaceful.” This word is stronger
than “happy” or “good” and provides a better contrast to the event that is about to happen. Ms. Larkins will do something
similar with sensory details.
Our demonstration part of the lesson is now finished. I will wrap it up by saying ”This snapshot is nowhere close to
being done. There are more places that I could add better sensory details and strong emotion words. So now we are going to
turn the revision responsibilities over to you. We want you to take a couple minutes to read through the snapshot and the
checklist to find some places where you think I could revise my writing to improve my word choice.
Active Engagement Component
In this portion of the lesson, students are going to be practicing using the checklist to revise my writing. They will
be given a few minutes to think about revisions they could make for either sensory details or emotions. Ms. Larkins
and I will be facilitating the discussion about the revisions by taking examples from students and applying them to
the writing. As a class, we will decide if the revision should stay or if it could be even stronger. As students are
thinking about what revisions they would make, we will be walking around, asking students about how they are
using their checklist to help them revise. The dialogue will be mostly with individual students or based on the
revisions suggested by students. The introductory dialogue could be as follows: “We want to take a few minutes to
think about revisions you would make to this piece of writing using the checklist we gave you. We will then be taking some
suggestions for revisions. The revisions can be applied to the writing and then we can decide if we want to keep the revision or
if there is another way we could revise it.”
Link Component
After we have taken a few revisions suggestions, we will bring the lesson to a close by going back through the
snapshot, matching it up with the checklist. If there are questions we haven’t answered, we will tell students that
those would be topics we could address in another round of revision. We will tell students that they now are going
to get a chance to use the checklist to guide them in revising their own snapshots. While they are working, we will
be conferencing with them to see how their revisions are going and to answer any questions they have.
To conclude the lesson I will say, “You all did a great job taking on the role of a reviser and using the checklist to improve
the word choice in my writing. Let’s go through the snapshot one more time to see what the answers to the questions are now
and if there are ones that we still need to revise for. We will go through the snapshot now. “Now I have an idea of what I
could do during the next round of revision for this piece. Since you all did such a great job revising my work, we think you are
ready to try it out on your own snapshot. You are going to use the checklist you have and search through your own writing,
answering the questions and making revisions as necessary. We will be conferencing with you as you write and revise to see
how your writing is coming along and to answer any questions you have.”
“ASSESSMENT OF LESSON GOALS
Formative Assessment
The majority of the formative assessment will occur during the active engagement component of this activity. As
students are thinking of revisions that could be made, we will walk around asking them questions about where
they think we could revise the writing. We can also informal assess students during the class discussion about the
revisions. Based on the revisions that students are suggesting, we will be able to get an idea if they understand how
to use the checklist to apply the revisions. We will make it a point to call on a variety of students to get a better
sense of the class as a whole. Our conferences with students will give us formative assessments on individual
students.
Summative Assessment
Students already have a piece of writing, a personal narrative snapshot about one moment in their lives, which they
will be revising. They have written these on Google docs so we will have access to them. The Google docs have a
function that allows us to see previous drafts of the writings so we can see the evidence of revising. We will have
their checklists, which can tell us what they were focusing on and what questions they were answering about their
writing.
SUPPORTS AND ACCOMMODATIONS FOR STUDENTS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
This class is a high ability class, which could mean students may have attention problems. If that is the case,
students could be allowed to talk their neighbor about possible revisions. Partner work is also an accommodation
that can help students with attention problems, a commonality among gifted and high ability students. It is easier
to focus in the same group when you have someone constantly interacting with you rather than passive learning. I
will keep the demonstration portion brief and concise to accommodate the attention spans of students. We will be
projecting the text on a large screen so any students with visual problems should be able to easily see it.
MATERIALS TO BE USED
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Word choice revision checklist (Attached below)
Original snapshot narrative (Attached below)
Smartboard (in classroom)
Student writings (personal narrative snapshots, previously written)
Student laptops
REFERENCES FOR MATERIALS USED AND PROFESSIONAL RESOURCES
References for Professional Resources Cited and Instructional Ideas Selected
Alley, M., & Orehovec, B. (2007). Revisiting the writing workshop: Management, assessment, and mini-lesson. New
York: NY: Scholastic.
Cambourne, B. (1995). Toward an educationally relevant theory of literacy learning: Twenty years of inquiry.
The Reading Teacher, 49 (3), 182-190.
Common Core State Standards for English Language Arts (2010). Retrieved from http://www.doe.in.gov/
tags/common-core
Sloan, M.S. (2009) How do I teach writing? In Into writing: The primary teacher’s guide to writing workshop.
Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.
Spandel, V. (2008). Creating writers through 6-trait writing assessment and instruction (5th ed.). Boston, MA:
Pearson.
Word Choice Revision Checklist
*Strong emotional words
o Have I used emotion to describe the moment?
o Have I included strong emotional words?
o Do I have any generic emotional words?
 Sad, mad, happy?
o Do I have evidence to support the emotion described?
 Showing rather than always directly telling
* Sensory words
o Show, Don’t Tell!
 When writing, paint pictures in your readers’ mind.
o Did I use sensory words?
 Sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, Touch?
o Am I being detailed?
o Am I being creative?
Crunch!
It was a wet March day. I walked to my car, quickly because it was cold. The wind swung
the door shut behind me. I turned the key, revved the engine, and carefully inched out of my
parking space. With a couple turns of the steering wheel, I was out on the open road. It was
all going well. That is, until I heard the screeching. The smell of burnt rubber filled the air.
Without knowing where I was going, I slowly pulled myself out. The flashing red and blue
lights swirled in my vision until the blackness took over.