Sentence Fluency
Dawn Cardenas
What is Sentence Fluency?
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Rhythmic patterns
Natural
Easy on the Ear
Poetic, Musical
Variety
Fragments Effective
Sentence fluency is the rhythm and flow of the language, the sound of word
patterns, the way in which the writing plays to the ear-not just the eye.
~Barry Lane
Sentence Fluency
Dawn Cardenas
Punctuation Formulas
S=sentence
SC=sentence connector -Sentence Connections are also known as
transitional words and phrases.
LB=left branch
NP=noun phrase – used when a single noun is too broad or general (That
girl) Describe her.
APP=Appositive – a noun or noun phrase that renames another noun
right beside it . The appositive can be a short or long combination of words.
1. LB, S (left branch, sentence)
A. Even though it is raining, we don’t mind.
B. Although it is almost fall, we haven’t had any cool weather.
2. S;S (sentence; sentence)
A. The cat was fat; he needed to diet.
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3. S, conjunction S (sentence, conjunction [yet, for, nor, and, or, but,
so] sentence)
A. She is smart, but she is very lazy.
4. A, B conjunction C (word, word conjunction word)
A. Jessica sang, danced, and acted her way to the top.
5. A, B, C noun (adjective, adjective, adjective noun)
A. Stevie Wonder wears custom-made, expensive, tight suits.
6. NP, APP
A. Your friend, Bill is in trouble.
B. My brother's car, a sporty red convertible with bucket
seats, is the envy of my friends.
C. The chief surgeon, an expert in organ-transplant
procedures, took her nephew on a hospital tour.
An appositive phrase usually follows the word it explains or identifies, but it
may also precede it.
D. A bold innovator, Wassily Kadinsky is known for his colorful
abstract paintings.
E. The first state to ratify the U. S. Constitution, Delaware is
rich in history.
F. A beautiful collie, Skip was my favorite dog.
7. S; SC, S (sentence; sentence connector*, sentence)
A. Ricky Williams quit the Dolphins; however, he returned and is now playing
well.
Go to www.grammar-quizzes.com
Connector Review
Dawn Cardenas
Conjunctions, adverbs and transition words
COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS
These join two words, phrases or
independent clause. They occur midsentence with a comma placed before the
CORRELATIVE CONJUNCTIONS
These join equivalent sentence elements
such as one noun phrase with another
noun phrase. These occur as paired
conjunction.
words.
He talked and listened. (same subject)
He talked, and I listened (different
subjects)
She was tired, so we left.
Both his project and hers ended.
Neither he nor she knows how to ski.
You car uses more gas than this one.
This computer is as fast as that one.
Addition
and, also, and also
both...and, not only ...also, not only ...
but also, and...too, and so
Alternative
or, nor
either...or, neither...nor
Cause/
Effec
t
so, for
so...that, such...that
Comparison
as . . . as, more...than, less...than
Condition
or else
whether.. or not
Contrast
but, yet, but still, but anyway
neither... nor
Emphasis
even
Place
Time
SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS
These join a dependent clause to an
independent clause. They occur at the
beginning of sentences with a comma
Addition
CONJUNCTIVE ADVERBS /
TRANSITION WORDS
These join two independent clauses or
sentences. They can be used at the
beginning of a sentence or mid-
separating the clause mid-sentence or
they occur mid-sentence with no comma.
sentence (with punctuation). They
transition the reader from the thought of
one sentence to the thought in the next.
Though it rained, we went.
We went though it rained.
Besides being cold, we were hungry.
We were hungry besides being cold.
We wanted to go. However, it rained.
We wanted to go; however, it rained.
We wanted to go; it rained, however.
In addition, it was windy and cold.
besides, in addition to
in addition, furthermore, moreover,
additionally, besides
Alternative
rather than
instead, as an alternative, otherwise,
rather
Cause/
Effec
t
because, since, now that, as, in order, as
long as, inasmuch, because of, due to,
owing to, so that, in order that, if only
because
therefore, consequently, as a
consequence, as a result, thus, hence,
accordingly
Comparison
as (like), as if, as though
In the same way, Similarly, In contrast,
Unlike X, Y. . .
Condition
if, only if, unless, even if, whether,
whether or not, provided (that), in
otherwise, in the event (that), anyway,
anyhow
case,
Contrast
in the event (that)
although, even though, though, while,
whereas, (despite, in spite of, regardless
of)
Emphasis
nevertheless, nonetheless, however, on
the one hand, on the other hand
in deed, in fact, of course, certainly
Place
where, wherever
Time
after, before, when, while, since, as, until,
as soon as, by the time, once
first, second, next, then, finally,
previously, now, presently, next, still,
meanwhile, subsequently, afterward
Dawn Cardenas
SENSORY WORDS:
http://www.yoakumisd.net/junior_high/bartosh/bartosh3.html
Colors
colorless, white, ivory, yellow, gold, orange, green, olive, turquoise, azure,
pink
crimson, maroon, lavender, purple, silver, brown, black, mottled,
red, ruby, blue, spotted
Shape
round, oval, triangular, rectangular, square, shapeless
Size
immense, massive, large, tiny, small, tall, short, wide, long, narrow, lean
Appearance
round, flat, curved, wave/wavy, ruffled, angular, hollow, tapered, wiry,
lopsided, freckled, wrinkled, striped, bright, clear, glossy, jeweled, fiery,
shimmering, muddy, drab
dark, grimy, worn, cluttered, fresh, flowery,
transparent, sheer, opaque, muscular
perky, lacy, shadowy
handsome, robust, fragile, pale,
Hearing Words
crash, squawk, crackle, chime, ring, thud, whine, buzz, laugh, silence,
bump, bark
clink, gurgle, chuckle, boom, bleat, hiss, giggle, cry,
thunder, bray, snort, guffaw, bawled
bang, blare, bellow, sing, crow,
roar, rumble, growl, hum, chatter, scream, grate, whimper, mutter,
mumble, screech, slam, stammer, murmur, wail, shout, clap, snap
whisper, babble, yell, stomp, rustle, sigh, cheer, whistle, jangle, whir, hush,
storm
Taste Words
alkaline, bitter, bittersweet, bland, burnt, buttery, cheesy, crisp, fishy, fruity,
gingery, hearty, hot, luscious, medicinal, mellow, oily, overripe, peppery,
raw, ripe, rotten, salty sour, spicy, spoiled, sugary, sweet, tangy, unripe,
vinegary, oily, rich, bland, ripe, buttery, hearty, tasteless, medicinal, salty,
mellow, sour, fishy, bitter, sugary, vinegary, spicy
fruity, hot, sweet, savory, tangy, burnt
bittersweet, crisp,
Smell Words
sweet, piney, acrid, sickly, scented, pungent, burnt, stagnant, fragrant,
spicy, gaseous
musty, aromatic, gamy, putrid, moldy, perfumed,
fishy, spoiled, dry, fresh, briny
sour, damp, earthy, sharp, rancid,
dank
Touch (feeling) Words
cool, wet, silky, sandy, cold, slippery, velvety, gritty, icy, spongy, smooth,
rough, lukewarm, mushy, soft, sharp, tepid, oily, woolly, thick, warm, waxy,
furry, dry, hot, fleshy, feathery, dull, steamy, rubbery, fuzzy, thin, sticky,
bumpy, hairy, fragile
damp, crisp, leathery, tender
DEAD VERBS
9/21/2010 3:24:00 PM
1. Detroy them!
2. Bury the dead verbs.
3. Linking verbs join the subject with the rest of the sentence. They can
stand alone.
4. Sing this to the tune of "London Bridge".
be am is are was were been
has have had
do does did
can could shall should will would may
might must being
is, are, am, have, had, be, gone
been, was, look
were, take, took,
went, go, ran, run, make, do, did
came, come, -ing words
How to fix it:
A. Form an appositive:
1. The man is a doctor.
 He helps people get well.
 The man, a doctor, provides help to sick people.
2. There are three kinds of dogs.
 Three kinds of dogs, terrier, bull dog, and collies, live at the
kennel.
o (Note: do not start a sentence with here or there.)
Dead Verb 2 Practice -- Appositives
Dead Verb Practice-- Appositives
B. Move the adjective:
3. The waves are destructive.
 The destructive waves knock down buildings.
4. The land is compressed.
 The compressed land builds pressure along the fault line.
C. Add action:
5. The land areas are moving past each other.
 The land areas move past each other, building friction and
pressure.
6. My friends are nice.
 My nice friends stroll around town with me.
7. The boy is a good basketball player.
 The boy plays basketball well.
8. We were playing basketball all weekend.
 We played basketball all weekend.
D. Move words around: (Use words like include or exist)
9. There are three types of volcanoes.
 Three types of volcanoes include, shield, cinder-cone, and
composite.
E. Do not simply drop the dead verb---you will then be worse---no
sentence at all:
10. Hydrothermal vents are underwater volcanoes.
 Hydrothermal vents underwater volcanoes. (Wrong!)
 In the ocean, volcanic action often occurs as hydrothermal vents.
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F. CONTRACTIONS ARE STILL DEAD VERBS:
It’s = it is. There’s = there is That’s = that is. He’s= He is
Insert Instead of SAID, WALK, LIE, LOOKED
Dawn Cardenas
A suggestion: On the following list of dead verbs, notice the alternatives.
1. action: walk
 alternatives: stroll, amble, jog, dash, sprint, stagger
2. action: lie (down)
 alternatives: sprawl, lounge, curl up, stretch out
3. action: said
 alternatives: mumbled, stuttered, spewed, shouted, protested
4. action: looked
alternatives: scanned, squinted, glared, studied
WARNING:
Florid Verbs- Florid fr. Lat. floreo, to flower
The car grumbled its way to the curb.
 The verb is on the verge of being so colorful it’s distracting.
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If a text sounds as if it sprouted leaves and branches, if every verb
is “unusual,” if the vocabulary is more interesting than the story, fix
it by using more ordinary verbs.
Remember, Actor then Action
Unless the car is a main actor, then don’t make it into a character.
 If its action should be more ordinary and transparent, don’t use an
odd expression.
 Odd expressions are for prose.
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This also goes for unusual descriptions and odd adjectives, nouns,
and adverbs.
Colorless Verb with Inadequate Adverb
He walked slowly across the room.
More Informative Verb with No Adverb
Watch how each one offers a different meaning and different situation.
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He trudged across the room.
He paced across the room.
He stalked across the room.