What makes a good thesis statement?
Find the differences between the statements in the two columns.
List A
List B
1. Despite his failure to establish a
republic in Upper Canada, William Lyon
Mackenzie is one of the most important
political figures of the 19th century
1. William Lyon Mackenzie fought
hard and led rebellions in Upper
Canada in the middle of the 19th
century.
2. Considering the treaties signed in
the 18th and 19th centuries, the First
Nations Land claims must be recognized
by the government of Canada.
2. The First Nations signed land
treaties during the 18th and 19th
centuries giving up ownership of
their lands. They are now
fighting the Canadian government
for claim to these lands.
3. Canadian immigration policies at the
beginning of the 20th century were
clearly discriminatory and reflected
racists attitudes that existed at that
time.
3. Canadian immigration policies at
the beginning of the 20th century
did not allow some ethnic groups
but they did encourage certain
nationalities to come to Canada.
4. Louis Riel was a heroic figure who
should be celebrated in Canadian
history. His hanging was a great
injustice.
4. Over a decade after fleeing to the
United States, Louis Riel returned
to the Canadian West to lead a
second Métis rebellion, after
which he was hanged.
5. Canadian culture is facing a great
threat from the flood of American
movies, music and magazines, and the
lack of government support for the arts.
5. There are a lot of American
movies, music, and magazines
flooding Canadian society.
How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One
Produced by Writing Tutorial Services, Indiana University, Bloomington, IN
1. A strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand.
Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a
paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two
example thesis statements:
There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.
This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague.
Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it
poses a potential danger to customers.
This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific.
2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.
Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems,
using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:
My family is an extended family.
This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and
will probably stop reading.
While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian
families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.
This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a
strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you
support your point.
3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.
Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than
one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:
Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and
customer support.
This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web
pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis
would be to write:
Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web
pages that offer both advertising and customer support.
This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements
contain words like because, since, so, although, unless, and however.
4. A strong thesis statement is specific.
A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a
manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:
World hunger has many causes and effects.
This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, ‘world hunger’ can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages.
Second, ‘many causes and effects’ is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might
look like this:
Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.
This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies
the specific causes for the existence of hunger.
Writing a good thesis statement
Your thesis needs to be specific. It should only discuss the topic you are going to be covering in your essay. It
should be arguable, meaning you can PROVE it with historical evidence (not opinion). Your thesis in a history essay
needs to be formal and avoid “I” and “me”. It will come towards the end of your introduction paragraph and can
be one or 2 sentences including directional statement (this will be demonstrated by examining a, b and c). Follow
this formula:
What will be proven + how it will be proven = thesis
If the reader is left asking ‘What?’ or ‘How?’ after reading the thesis then it isn’t clear enough.
Sometimes after you start writing your essay you realize your thesis can’t be proven very well and needs to be
changed. That is okay; always double check your thesis after writing your essay and see if it needs to be rewritten.
In partners write a good thesis statement that addresses one of the following topics:
1. The length of the school year
2. Young people’s reliance upon smart phones and the Internet
3. The value of young people, 14 and older, having a part-time job
Our thesis :
______________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Double check :
Does it express a clear opinion and take a stand?
Does it express one main idea?
Is it specific?
Does your reader know what you plan to prove and how you plan to prove it?
Now, have another group double check your thesis statement.
Establishing a thesis statement
A good way to proceed when constructing an effective thesis statement for a research
assignment is to show the connection between two or more important concepts.
Consider the lists below and try to link some of them
ELEMENTS OF HISTORY
LINKING TERM
IMPACT ON HISTORY
a war
a battle
an invention
a technology
A military General
Prime Minister
An historically important personality
An event
- was a defining moment
- was responsible for
- was instrumental in
- supported
- weakened
- reinforced
- was superior to
- was inferior to
- had a positive effect on
- had a negative effect on
- caused
- brought about
- lead to
- divided
- caused difficulties (for/in)
- destroyed
- undermined
- affected
- saved
- contributed to
- influenced
- economic prosperity
- economic decline
- military power
- military failure
- political independence
- economic stability or instability
- political stability or instability
- the rise of a nation
- the fall of a nation
- another culture
- the domination/conquest
- a victory
- autonomy
- social change
- political change
- economic change
- military change
Examples
The invention of Henry Ford’s assembly line brought about great economic change to the world of industry.
The World Wars were directly responsible for growth in the evolution of women’s rights.
The experiences of Aboriginals in residential schools had a devastating effect on their traditional culture.
The decision to implement conscription during WWI had a negative impact on Canadian national unity.
Now, it’s your turn. With your elbow partner, create a thesis statement on a topic that we have already studied in our class.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
CHC 2D- UNIT 1- Contemporary Canada : 1982 to present
Summative Assignment- A Visual Essay
Themes in Canadian History:
Aboriginal Peoples
Changing Roles of Women
French- English relations
Canadian Independence
Canada-US Relations
Changing Social Programs
Canada in International Affairs
Rights and Responsibilities of Citizens
Purpose:

to support an opinion on a theme in contemporary Canada by using visual primary source evidence

to demonstrate critical thinking skills by using the skills that have been introduced in this unit:
Historical significance, cause and consequence, change and continuity, the ethical dimension,
detecting historical perspectives
The Task:





You will choose a theme from the above list.
You will research that theme during contemporary Canada (1982 to present)
You will establish a thesis statement on a topic in that theme.
You will create a visual essay on your topic using primary visual evidence
You will link each piece of evidence to your thesis to prove your opinion.
What your Visual Essay will look like:




A thesis statement
Visuals: newspaper articles, pictures, documents, statistics and quotes.
Reference all your sources under the picture
Write a brief explanation of each picture and how it relates to your thesis.
Remember: this is an essay but the main body will be in visual format. You need a definite thesis
that argues one side of the issue with a minimum of three supporting arguments. Your arguments
should all be backed-up by your primary evidence. Your captions should verbally explain your pictures
and link the idea to your thesis. Your opinion should be obvious after reading/viewing your essay.
EVALUATION
Research & quality of primary photo evidence:
Minimal research & poor/
Research is evident and
A thorough understanding is
limited evidence provided
Thesis is supported by
demonstrated & supported
Evidence does not relate to
primary evidence
by primary historical evidence
the thesis or selected theme
There are 3 well selected and
relevant visuals to support thesis
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Historical analysis:
Thesis statement is not clear
Thesis is clear and takes an
A sophisticated thesis present a
arguable stand.
4
5
There are no captions
6
7
clear and arguable point of view.
8
Captions
9
10
Captions thoroughly link evidence
provided to explain arguments provide some explanation of
to the thesis statement.
evidence/arguments
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Communication:
Careless writing detracts
Message is clear but spelling
Message is very clear and detailed.
from the message. There are and typing errors are still
There are few to no spelling and
many spelling and typing
frequent.
grammar errors.
errors. Sentences are not
Work shows neatness and some Visual essay follows an organized
clear.
attention to detail.
plan and student has produced a
Work is messy and there is
piece of work that demonstrates
little attention to detail.
quality and care in both formatting and
neatness.
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