Payton Howze
11/18/15
To survive people have to go through extreme things and lengths. A race has to fight to
get their freedom and be equal with everyone; a sniper has to fight against his own country to
see how it will be; a group of people have to risk their lives being outside with dangerous
human eating creatures that are dead. These people had the attitude and the courage to fight
and survive. According to Webster’s dictionary, Survival means the state or fact to continue to
live.
Surviving is a hard thing to do in life. It can be easy or very hard like in the 1990’s when
there was segregation the African Americans had to do hard things. They had to survive
extreme conditions every day, like being in the sun everyday almost all day. It was mostly in the
southern part of the United States. It all started over jealousy because other races thought that
African Americans were going to take their jobs so they started treating them different. The
African Americans survived because they had worked hard and they finally got freedom
because a man named Martin Luther King gave a speech that freed them and they survived. It
was a bad 60 or 70 years but they survived it and it took great lengths.
In war zones survival comes the most, they need to do whatever it takes to stay alive,
such as the story “The Sniper” the main character had to fight in a war in Ireland. They wanted
to have Ireland be either a republic or free staters. They fought in bad conditions and it was
dark. There was a time when the main character got shot in his forearm but he still managed to
fight. This was shown as a thing of survival. The main character even after getting shot still
fought on because it was for his countries rights and freedom and rules. This is a hard time to
survive because there is a lot of gun fire and you never know what might happen on the war
field.
The way that the sniper had survived shows that anyone can do it, you just have to try
your hardest and do a lot of things. The Walking Dead has a lot of surviving in it. They have to
be in a world full of zombies or human eating creatures. They have to survive outside at times
because houses can’t be found as it used to be before the apocalypse. They have to watch their
back because they can come out of nowhere and can kill you easily. It is hard to survive in this
time because if you don’t have a weapon your life might be in jeopardy. There instincts have to
help the hunters and all the survivors of the apocalypse to survive being in it the apocalypse.
They go to the highest lengths to stay alive no matter the conditions of the world they still are
walking the earth because of surviving.
Sometimes you have to go through bad times, bad people, and bad disasters to make
sure that you survive. But it will make u stronger in live and you can have experience. People
survive because they have to courage and fight to try to stay alive and they never give up. They
can be bad guys or good guys. They can be heroes or villains, but if they try hard they can
survive. They survived because they had an instinct that kept letting them know that they can
do it just like the slaves, the sniper, and the remaining people in the world after an apocalypse.
On a 6-point scale, here’s your score: 4
This response demonstrates competent success with the expository writing task. For the most part, the
essay:
focuses on a clear thesis, with minor distractions
shows effective organization, with minor lapses
offers mostly thoughtful ideas
develops ideas adequately, with a mixture of general and specific elaboration
exhibits general control of written language
Analytic Feedback for Your Essay
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Content and Development
Focus and Organization
Effective Sentences
Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics
Study the statements that describe each trait to help you improve your writing.
Content and Development
Your essay shows competent ability for this trait. For the most part, the essay:
uses some meaningful and thoughtful ideas
elaborates and supports some ideas with a mixture of general and specific details, reasons,
explanations, and/or examples
Focus and Organization
Your essay shows competent ability for this trait. For the most part, the essay:
addresses the prompt, but may include minor digressions
shows some awareness of audience
displays effective organization and transitions, with minor lapses
demonstrates general unity and completeness
Effective Sentences
Your essay shows competent ability for this trait. For the most part, the essay:
generally forms sentences correctly but with occasional errors
demonstrates sentence quality with few, if any, awkward sentences
displays some variety in sentence types, lengths, structures, and beginnings
displays some fluency
Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics
Your essay shows competent ability for this trait. For the most part, the essay:
demonstrates general command of language conventions
exhibits general command of spelling, punctuation, and capitalization