An “African Violet” Life
Do you ever get discouraged, disappointed or frustrated throughout the day? Do you ever feel like your circumstances are
much more negative than positive? Does your outlook seem more pessimistic than optimistic at times? If we are honest,
most of us answer yes to these questions. We all experience down times, times in which our glass feels half empty rather
than half full. Certainly God has given us a full range of emotions, both positive and negative. As Christians we are going
to have times in which we feel depressed or anxious. But what can we do about it? One of the greatest things we can do
to deal with our down times is to grow the African Violet part of our lives………
Milton Erickson, a now deceased psychiatrist, once went to the home of a friend in Milwaukee. His friend had a
Christian aunt there who was very old and very wealthy. She lived in a huge Victorian home with incredible antiques, but
his friend was concerned because she was depressed. Dr. Erickson went to the home at his friend’s request to visit this
aunt. The aunt took him on a tour of her entire home. All the blinds were closed. It was dark, gloomy, and depressing.
The last place she took him to was bright and cheery room full of gorgeous African Violet plants. It was in stark contrast
to the rest of the house. Standing in the beautiful room Dr. Erickson felt compelled to speak, “I can see what your
problem is,” he began.
“What do you mean?” said the old woman confused.
Looking deep into her eyes he simply stated, “You are not really a very good Christian.”
Completely insulted, the depressed woman finally managed to ask, “What do you mean?”
“Here you have this great gift for growing African violets,” Dr. Erickson gently explained, “And you keep it all to yourself.
If I were you, I would get your church bulletin, and whenever someone had a birthday, or a death, or a wedding, or an
anniversary, or whatever, I would take them one of your beautiful African Violet plants as a gift.”
After that advice, Dr. Erickson left and never spoke to the old woman again. As Dr. Erickson told this story to a group of
students, he pulled out an old yellow Milwaukee newspaper article. The headline read: “African Violet Queen of Milwaukee
Dies... Mourned by Thousands.” As usual, a curious student raised his hand and asked, “Why did you have her give out
plants instead of treating her depression?” After a short pause, the wise teacher explained, “I decided that it would be
easier to grow the African violet part of her life, than to weed out the depression.”
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Weeds or Flowers…What is Your Focus?
That aunt of Erickson’s friend took to heart what he said to her. After he left, she began growing violets throughout her
home. More windows were opened and light filled the previously dark house. As her violets bloomed she would take them
to people all over Milwaukee. She made friends and invited them over to see her violets. All of this led to her developing
an incredible and fulfilling life of ministering to others.
What does this have to do with your negative emotions? Plenty. Whenever you start to experience down times, times in
which you feel depressed or anxious, your focus can change. Instead of being able to focus on what is positive or on
possible solutions, when we experience depression or anxiety, we tend to focus on our problems. That is the true danger
of these negative types of emotions. If we do not deal with them in a constructive manner, our outlook can become
negative or “problem-focused.” When this happens we run the risk of becoming consumed or overwhelmed by our own
negativity or worse, feeling helpless and hopeless. One of the main reasons why people launch into clinical depression,
panic attacks or have suicidal thoughts is when they feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and helplessness. Being
problem-focused can certainly rob us of hope and can make us feel extremely helpless.
The key to guarding against having a negative outlook or a problem focus is to become “solution-focused.” Solutionfocused people deal with their problems in the same manner that Dr. Erickson encouraged the African Violet Queen to do:
Don’t try to weed out the negatives. Instead, grow the positive parts of your life