Core skills
1. Active Listening
Listening actively is more than simply hearing; it is a skill that can be learnt and practised. On occasion we may not listen well because our attention is on something other than what the other person is saying: perhaps comparing what is being said to our own experience; rehearsing what we are going say when the speaker stops; solving the speaker’s problem for them; or thinking about something else entirely.
To listen well:
- practise turning yourself off completely and concentrating on the other person and what they are saying.
- listen for the unspoken messages underlying the words
- keep an open mind and suspend judgement
- when you notice that you are not listening well, just bring your attention back to the speaker
- be aware of body language – yours and the other person’s
Active listening is also demonstrated in how you respond. Responses which summarise, clarify, probe or reframe are good examples. Reflecting back in this way helps the mentee to gain perspective on their situation, which will in its turn help them to make decisions about what to do.; and will help you to understand the best way to help.
2. Questions
Open questions encourage the opening up, expansion and exploration of a topic. They start with words or phrases such as What, How, Where, Describe, Tell me about.. For example:
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Tell me about your experience of….
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What were your reasons for…..
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How might you go about…..
As far as possible avoid asking Why? as it can sound accusatory.
Closed questions control the limits of the reply and can be used to focus, summarise, move to action and round off a discussion. For example:
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Have you completed the action we agreed on?
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What will your next steps be?
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When are you going to do that?
Both types of question are useful for different purposes and it is important to think about what results your different questions will have and which will best serve the purpose of the mentoring at the time.

Beware of using closed questions that close down possibilities:
Will you apply for that job, or stay where you are?
3. Giving and Receiving advice and feedback
By using active listening and good questioning you will be able to establish where your own knowledge and experience might be of use to the mentee or where you might feel that some feedback would be helpful.
Advice should be based on what is possible and achievable for the mentee, and appropriate within his/her own context.
Feedback should be:
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Based on facts and observations, not interpretations. Use specific examples.
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Constructive and focused on behaviour; it must be something that the mentee is able to change.
Mentees should be encouraged to receive and listen to the advice and feedback offered and to consider it later before deciding whether to act on it. This does not put them under any obligation to act on it, but serves to not reject it immediately.

Additional Tools and Techniques
This is a selection of techniques, tools and models to choose from to support the mentoring process.
Differing approaches can bring fresh perspectives and act as a device to help shift the process if it becomes stuck. Some of these will be more appropriate in certain circumstances, and different approaches will be appropriate for different mentees. It is also very important to only use approaches that you as the mentor are comfortable with.
Identifying achievements and resulting skills/experience
Ask the mentee to identify some achievements of which they are proud, and tell you about them.
This is a good exercise to start off the mentoring process as it reminds them of their strengths. The exercise can be extended by identifying the skills/ experience / attributes that were used or developed while making the achievement.
Identifying initial goals/ objectives
Invite the mentee to reflect and jot down a few notes in response to these questions:
1.
Where was I in my life and career a year ago?
2.
Where am I now?
3.
Where do I want to go / could I go next?
4.
What are my longer term aims (if I know)?
This information can form the basis of a discussion about the progress made since last year, what helped or hindered that, what can be learnt / transferred / changed, leading into exploratory discussions about the future.
GROW (Adapted from John Whitmore, Coaching for Performance, 1992)
GOAL: What do you want to achieve?
REALITY: What is the current situation? Where are you now?
Options: What are the options available to you? (be creative and explorative, but also realistic and practical)
Will: What will you do now?
CLEAR (From Peter Hawkins and Nick Smith, Coaching, Mentoring and Organizational Consultancy,
2006)
Contract: establish the aims for the session
Listen: listen and understand what the mentee wants to achieve, and their situation
Explore: the situation, the options
Action: define and agree what the mentee is going to do
Review: review both the current session, and revisit at the beginning of the following session.

Moving to action
Progress and change come through action. When appropriate, encourage mentees to define specifically what action they are going to take to progress their plans. A good framework is:
- What will you do?
- When will you do it?
- How will you know that it is done?
Diaries / Journals
Using a diary or journal can help with structural aspects such as recording dates of meetings and actions agreed. It might also provide a structure for recording reflections as a result of discussions.
Force field analysis
This is a model to help identify factors most likely to support the steps a mentee has in mind – and those most likely to inhibit those steps. The principle is to quantify the strength of each force in order to understand the situation and how to move it forward. A description of how to use this tool can be found here: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_06.htm
SWOT analysis / Personal quality profile
Similar to the identifying achievements exercise, listing strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats, or creating a personal qualities profile, can boost confidence and provide perspective on what the mentee has to offer and areas for development.
Practice / Role playing
This is not role playing in the sense of acting out a simulated situation. The idea is for the mentee to practice a real situation (for example a job interview) in a low-risk environment where s/he can try things out, make mistakes, take risks and receive constructive feedback. Sometimes words, when spoken, sound different to the way they sounded in your head so this is a good place to actually articulate them.
Career Visioning
The mentee (s) map out three different career visions, taking into account aims, abilities, constraints, knowledge of opportunities that might be available and realistic timescales. Flexibility to move between differing visions is important, as is identifying small steps towards goals.

Challenging
This can take two forms:
- challenging a mentee’s assertions about what is or is not possible and encouraging them to see additional perspectives
- encouraging the mentee to stretch themselves (appropriately) beyond self-imposed limits
Championing
Letting the mentee know what you believe them capable of.
Mind mapping / drawing
This approach might appeal to those whose thinking patterns are less linear. It can sometimes open up new possibilities by engaging different parts of the brain. For ideas of how to mind map see: http://www.mind-mapping.co.uk/make-mind-map.htm
Clearing
Sometimes it is appropriate to allow time for a mentee to talk about something that is not going well, in order to ‘clear’ it and make space for moving forwards.