To: Sandra Alden
From: Fatemeh Abbasifard
Subject: Final E Portfolio
Date: 5 December 2014
He Never Reached There
It seems it was years and years ago. I came home, unlike the other days, just after
school. I had different feelings of happiness, excitedness, and anxiousness. That day I
decided to tell my family the fact: “I have enrolled in a music class, and it starts
tomorrow.”
It was the first time in my life that I had decided to learn something which was
not my parent’s choice. My father was a strict person about school and study. He
believed we (his children) should first focus on our school studies, and after college and
getting a degree, we can think about other things and hobbies. I usually spent my summer
vacation playing volleyball and swimming.
It was almost one month that Sara, my close friend and classmate, and I had
known that there is a professional music school next to our garden allay. We had played
hooky after school, going to the music school instead of home. We were sitting there and
listening to different kinds of Persian Classical music. It was new for me, finding
something that you had lost in past, and suddenly you find it in place that you never
imagine it. I was a fan of classical music, unlike my friends at that age. I had always
listened to music by cassette tapes or CDs. Little by little I felt I am in love with
mysterious sound of Setar, which always was my favorite instrument. After one month I
made my decision. I had decided to enroll in a Setar class with my pocket money that was
barely enough.
My father was thinking. The house was queit. I was quiet too. My mother was
wondenig, “I can not believe it. At least you should have told me before enrolling in the
class. This year you should pass the college entrance exam. Did you forget???” My guess
was right, father did not approve. He continued: “My suggestion is that you should go to
college and focus on your studies. After college you can attend whatever class you like.
BUT I do not push you for anything.” His eyes told me he does not approve. He wished
he could push me to go to collage.
I can say my excitement for learning music was higher than anything that could
stop me. Two months later I got my high school diploma. I had to choose my way for
future, going to college or music class. I do not know how and why I chose accounting as
my high school major, but I did know that I would not continue studying accounting in
the future. Since my father was not happy for me to attend music class, I did not want to
ask my father for money. So I decided to find a job first. I needed money for my class
fees and to buy an instrument. I eventually found a good job, thanks to my high school
internship grade in accounting, or actually thanks to my fault for choosing accounting as
my major. I was an accountant at the superannuation department of a very famous bank.
The job was so hard for a young unskilled lady like me. I was working nine hours per
day. I still do not know how those days came to me. I had always imagined that after
getting my diploma I would go to university or college, but suddenly I found myself as an
accountant at a big bank with lots of responsibilities. With all the difficulties that I had I
was so happy. I loved my job and my job place. When I got my third salary, I bought a
Setar instrument and took music classes three times a week. I had to skip some of my
hobbies to reduce expenses and save money for buying Setar accessories, strings, and
training books and tapes. I never was a kind of person that save her pocket money, but
now my box money was half full. This made me both laugh and wonder whenever I
looked at my box money. My class and job took almost all my time. I could not go to
cinema, theater, or even my friends’ home. Despite all these exclusions, those days were
the most wonderful days in my life. I was gaining different new experiences at the same
time, working, playing, and have a few nice colleagues. Learing music and working made
me happiness.
Every thing made me happy and hopeful for my future except my father’s eyes. I
could see dissatisfaction in his kind eyes. He was not the same as in the past. We used to
have very warm and friendly relations.
Sometimes I was thinking if the class is worth seeing my dad sad? On the other
hand I could not understand why he thinks all ways of success end with going to college.
I did know lots of people who did not have academic education, yet they were successful.
The fact was that I could not change his mind. We had very different views about this
subject. But the sad thing was not the difference in our view. I was feeling that I am
gradually loosing the interest that I had in the beginning of learning music. He was for
me such a success and kind man that in all his life for our smile did lots of difficulty.
Now I was thinking something wants make a gap between my fathers smile and me. That
was right?
My mom was always telling me, “you and your father are never predictable; you
change your mind in a millisecond.” She was right. One night close to spring, when we
had got closer to our new year I was busy with playing in the backyard. I noticed that my
father had stood and listened to my playing a few steps behind me. He was silent and
gazing at the cloudy sky. I was surprised that he came to the backyard to hear my
playing. I continued to play and whisper. The song name was “Where Are You My Peri
(Fairy),” which was my favorite song. I did not stop; I kept playing the song. After a few
minuets, he turned and smiled at me and said, “.” He smiled and continue “you have
advanced in just a few months! You are so capable” Those encouraging words gave me
energy again. After that night I was practicing playing Setar with more motivation and
excitement.
Less than one year later from that night father died in a car accident. “Dad I have
decied to go to college and study accounting.” His eyes glazed. I could see those lights
that suddenly came back to his face. “What? You have decied to make another sudden
decision!!? Are you sure??” “Yeah, I am sure. I am almost fluent in palying Setar. I told
my instructur that I would not come to class any more.” It was the last day of my Setar
class for ever. I left my city to go to my new city which was almost three hours away by
car. A few weeks later when father fund his first free time, he decided to come to my
college city and bring me some stuff for my new home. He never reached there.
I tried to finish my studies. I did it without any intirest. The setar and my box money both
are the corner of my room. It seems thousands of years have passed since father have
looked at the cloudy sky.