Levels of Listening
Listening is said to account for 40% of the various common elements in
communications, others are 35% talking; 16% reading; 9% writing. Listening
therefore is an important communication skill that has to be learnt.
Listening gives others the feeling of being appreciated and respected. When we
listen we foster the skill in others by acting as a model for positive and effective
communication.
All of us listen in different ways at different times. We listen better in some situations
than others. Some people listen effectively in their jobs but stop listening when they
go home. Tests have shown that on average normal adult human beings only really
hear one third of the words spoken to them. Each level of listening requires a certain
level of concentration and sensitivity. Typically three levels of listening are identified.
Level One
This basic level has been described as cosmetic listening - the listener making
believe that they are paying more attention than they actually are.

Listening on and off

Tuning in and out

Being aware of the presence of others but mainly paying attention to yourself

Quite passive listening

Listening but not responding with little effort to listen
Level Two
This level can be dangerous because of misunderstandings if the listener isn’t
concentrating on what is being said.

The individual hears sounds and words, but does not really listen deeply

People stay on the surface of communication and do not listen to the deeper
meaning

Trying to hear what the speaker is saying but not making the effort to
understand what the speaker means
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
The focus is conversational – each person thinking about what they want to
say rather than what the other is saying

Tending to be more concerned with content rather than feelings
Level Three
Deep and active listening - the listener putting themselves in the speaker’s place and
trying to see things from the others point of view. Some characteristics of active
listening include:

It’s not enough to hear people you must demonstrate (to them) that you
heard.

Listener maintains eye contact, focuses on the words spoken and things
left unsaid and watches the body language

Listening to understand using
- Reflecting
- Para phrasing
- Summarising
Doesn’t contain judgement of your own
Ends with a question – have I got that right?
Genuine summary – no new data
“I’m more focused on you than me; I’m getting a sense of you now”
Deep listening requires:

The mind of the listener is mostly calm and quiet, open, letting go of any
beliefs we have about the person.

The awareness of the listener is entirely focused on the other person

The listener has little or no sense of awareness of themselves

The listener is totally present to the person speaking

The listening state is broken by the speaker asking a question, seeking an
acknowledgement

The intention of listening here is one of service, seeking to understand
Deep Listening: listening not just for the content of what is being spoken but for the
meaning and feelings
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Thinking – the facts of the story, the words used, how it was told, fast or slow,
logically or jumbled. What words were used – descriptive or factual? What data did
you get?
Feeling – the expressed emotion in the story. How is the storyteller feeling about this
issue? How did they feel about what was happening in different parts of the story?
Intent – what is not being explicitly said? What is the real will behind the words?
What is the story teller inclined to do about the situation?
Feedback
Giving Feedback
Effective Feedback:

Focuses on the behaviour not the person

What you observed not what you inferred

Uses descriptive language not judgement

Shares ideas rather than giving advice

Explores alternatives rather than providing answers
Receiving Feedback
Key Question
Implication
Do you understand it?
Your intentions may not be perceived in your actions
Is it valid?
Yes it is from at least one perspective
Is it important?
Does it have an impact on your effectiveness?
Do I want to change?
It’s your choice – but there may be consequence
Potential Barriers

Can be a surprise or shock when there are no clear objectives for job or
development (the receiver does not share the same perceptions)

It is important that the recipient believes the feedback the giver is competent
on the points
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
People are afraid to give it – not confident about handling the responses and
concerned that feedback will damage relationships
A Feedback Model - BIC
Behaviour - give an example of what you observed-be as specific as possible
Impact - share the impact the behaviour had on you
“When you said xyz it made me feel abc”
Consequence - share your view on the possible consequences of the behaviour.
Remember to own that this is your opinion, not fact
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